The Art of Tragedy (RE-SUBMITTED)

Martin,

I just read through three chapters and everything clicks brother and I'll back it as soon as you come back online; I just noticed you been off for eleven days, gimme a holler when you come back and I'll back "The Art of Tragedy."

Peace,

Keith G.

dark and grotesque. VEry well spoken. Its like an opium dream.

Martin,

I’m glad I checked this out (especially if you pull it, as you’ve threatened to do – I implore you not to!). In some ways this is very different from My House On The Fjord, but your gift for poetic narrative is still very much present. You have a way of painting the disturbing in watercolor. I see others have said they felt nauseous, but I just stared at the page wide-eyed, like a child learning something new, soaking it in. I can see how this might not be for everyone, but, like MHOTF, it’s definitely for me.

~Steve

Wow! Totally different and yet even better if anything, nah that's not fair, it's so different you can't compare the two books. Bloody good though.

This is an exceedingly well written book, but I have to tell you I have had a hard time with the nausea I feel from time to time and especially in the first two chapters where I, who haven't vomited since I was fourteen ,came dangerously close. All of which is to say that if true horror and disgusting scenes can be fine literature, this is it. I read to the beginning of chapter 4 hoping things would let up a bit--they did but not enough. So, in recognition that books shouldn't be judged by anyone's weak stomach, I have put your book on my watchlist and will shelve it when there is a vacant space which will be in a day or two as I keep all books on the shelf at least a week. I may even come back for more when I am feeling a bit masochistic.

Jan
THE COBRA AND THE MONGOOSE

Martin, I haven't even finished the first chapter and I'm putting this on my bookshelf. This is exactly the kind of book I love to read--and write. If you want, check out my book Paint It Black, about homeless teens in Chicago. I believe it has the same sort of dark edginess I love about your book. Unless something goes way amiss as I read The Art of Tragedy, I'm sure I'm going to want to read the whole thing. Is it complete and you've only loaded part of it here? I can't wait to read the whole thing. When you get published, and I'm sure you will, can I buy an autographed copy? :-)

Very interesting story...captivating. Such a different tone the the other book that I read. Your descriptive writing is intense and I was able to picture the scene. I did see a couple of editing things but nothing a good read through by you wouldn't fix. Well done. I will pop it on my shelf for sometime. Good luck.

My God, man! I mean, damn. What the hell are you doing here? Close your browser - get off the web. Stop wasting your time and finish this thing Now! Then get it to a publisher.
The Book? I don't like it cause I'm a self-confessed prude. But that doesn't change the fact that it's very high-powered writing, at least in my opinion.
Have you thought about writing childrens books? (haha - just joking)
I think I would have switched the first two sentences - then again, that's probably why I'm an amature and you're a pro. Anyway... awesome - and backed.

Where do I start? After the initial shock, that is! I do enjoy your writing style aithough the subject matter is a bit dubious. I have no idea whether there is a market for this type of book but knowing present society, I expect there is. I shall shelve this when I next turn things round, purely because of your way with words and because it may well have potential. Margaret.

It took me a few minutes (pages?) to figure out what was going on. It does have a poetic feel to it - and you capture the horrors of prosititution / drugs. You set up some mysteries - what do Red and Blue do to make the men scream? What does the chubby guy mean "Wrap them"? Who wrote the suicide note and what will happen to them? And so on. A question - did Missy burry Red and Blue? I take it they shower and clean up before these drug enduced sessions. Also, I get the sense that Red and Blue are psuedo names to hide / protect the girls. Either that or they had hippie parents. It seems to flow very well. I noticed a spacing problem once - as if you hit tab in the middle of a sentence. And the only typo I saw was "adults" which should have been "adult's". I don't really have a good eye for that sort of thing, but that one stopped me as I tried to figure out what you were saying.

I felt like a voyeur reading this. I wanted to put it down but the ugliness of it kept me reading it wanting to find out what happened. It seems like this sort of thing would be able to find a market, it's very readable, and for that, I'll back it - although I did feel a little dirty reading it. But that's the point isn't it? We read to experience a life we don't have to live. And you write this one very well.

Hi Martin,
This reminds me of the way Samuel Delaney wrote, it has that poetic quality to it.

The subject matter is difficult, it isn't the sort of thing I read for pleasure though I acknowledge its power.
I am a little captivated by the story and the narrative if not by the people, so I may well return for the second chapter.

Someone will publish this I am sure, it has the kind of quality that ensures it.

Regards
John

Martin
I realized that even though I had this on my shelf for a spell, I never left a comment, so here goes.

Yoiur writing style is captivating and flows well enough. This is a very difficult subject for most people to acknowlege that it even exists, let alone read about it, so I'm not sure how large a market there would be for it. None the less, in my opinion, it is worthy of being published.

One thing that confused me though was how you handled the twins. At first, I thought them to be maybe young teens. Then when their mum was pulling them from the ground, I figured they had to be very small maybe three to five years old? (I wasn't aware that they were cojoined at that point). Later, the twins are telling mum how the ecstacy made them depressed. There conversation at this point would indicate they are rather mature - maybe late teens. My question to you then would be: do you know what age the twins are. Pick an age and then study how children of that age group respond to parents directions and their own trials. If they are young, then instead of talking about being depressed, they could fight mummy when she tries to give then the drug because "I won't feel good tomorrow if you make me take my medicine, mummy."
If in fact they are meant to be older (teens, perhaps) then have them sleeping in a drain culvert under a roadway or something.

Other than that, I very much enjoyed your tale, even though it was a difficult subject matter.

tyler

Hi Tyler, and thank you for your comments.

Yes, I understand that the idea and asepct of the twins is confusing....I do, but I was trying, as best I can, to be beguiling. However their nature becomes clear quite early in the novel, but their, well....unusual habits, let's say, does not.

As to their age...yes, I can see them in my minds eye. I would put them in late teens.....early twenties at most. Incidently, Missy (regarding your point about the ecstacy) is not their mother.....

The twins have lived, as may be expected, an extraordinary life, even before they met Missy and Hammond and embarked on their crusade to save David....but their birth and the tragedy that was involved with their biological parents is explained.

I'm glad you noted about 'waking up in a drain or a culvet'....because this happens quite a lot!

Still, as I said, although I've had this story in my head for 10 years, and I wrote MHOTF in a month, I am having a little trouble trying to make it coherent. The story, apart from involving a transexual prostitute, co-joined twins, a psychopathic pimp and so forth, is really about the character David........who, the bastard, I am having problems with! I could easily upload the whole novel, like I have with MHOTF, but.........no, not yet.

Not sure if that clarifies things....

Thanks again.

Martin.x

Martin
I realized that even though I had this on my shelf for a spell, I never left a comment, so here goes.

Yoiur writing style is captivating and flows well enough. This is a very difficult subject for most people to acknowlege that it even exists, let alone read about it, so I'm not sure how large a market there would be for it. None the less, in my opinion, it is worthy of being published.

One thing that confused me though was how you handled the twins. At first, I thought them to be maybe young teens. Then when their mum was pulling them from the ground, I figured they had to be very small maybe three to five years old? (I wasn't aware that they were cojoined at that point). Later, the twins are telling mum how the ecstacy made them depressed. There conversation at this point would indicate they are rather mature - maybe late teens. My question to you then would be: do you know what age the twins are. Pick an age and then study how children of that age group respond to parents directions and their own trials. If they are young, then instead of talking about being depressed, they could fight mummy when she tries to give then the drug because "I won't feel good tomorrow if you make me take my medicine, mummy."
If in fact they are meant to be older (teens, perhaps) then have them sleeping in a drain culvert under a roadway or something.

Other than that, I very much enjoyed your tale, even though it was a difficult subject matter.

tyler

Hello, Martin.

I really like your cover and book title. The short pitch is succinct (I love the names Red and Blue!) and your synopsis/premise is definitely intriguing.

The books itself is really well written from the first sentence. It's distressing, but you promise that and deliver! I like that it's vivid, that's what makes it a unique piece.

Good luck with this!

Billie (A Matter of Life and Death)
XX

Thank you. Very kind.

As you say, I don't think this work will appeal to a lot of people, and is entirely different from my other book, but - there you go!

Thanks again.

Hello, Martin.

I really like your cover and book title. The short pitch is succinct (I love the names Red and Blue!) and your synopsis/premise is definitely intriguing.

The books itself is really well written from the first sentence. It's distressing, but you promise that and deliver! I like that it's vivid, that's what makes it a unique piece.

Good luck with this!

Billie (A Matter of Life and Death)
XX

I apologise for anyone with sensibilities. But I can't, and won't apologise for the really quite shocking content of this book. And, I'm afraid, it gets 'worse' before it gets better....

Hi,
Well, this is an enteresting and I admit, entertaining read. The subject matter and acts are disturbing but they definitely keep the reader wanting to read on. I think your voice and the dialogue fit just right for this piece. I didn't notice any typo's or errors (I was too busy reading). I'll have to finish reading to find out what that redeeming factor is for the twins. I have an idea, but more than likely I'm wrong. Anyway, this story deserves a spot on my shelf.
Jan

Wow! and i don't say that very often. The first four chapters of this are both repulsive and fascinating - you have developed and clear and compelling voice and your characters walk from the page. Would i buy this and read this, i am not sure, i find the pitch a little vague and i think it could do with being tightened further, centering more on this mystery author calling for help. But i think i wouldn't buy this because i am past wanting to read about this type of world - however, in my twenties, i don' think i would have been able to put it down. It's just books are very personal to our age and life experiences, and this is no reflection on this excellent book. Shelved.

That's very kind of you. I understand all too well that the subject matter is, lets say, disturbing, and I won't pretend it has a happy ending (in regards to the David character), but ultimately, perhaps like 'My House on the Fjord', there is a theme of redemption for the twins...but no so much Missy, and definately not for the other unsavoury characters.

Thanks for you comments. Much appreciated. I will jave a think about how I might be able to change the pitch.

Wow! and i don't say that very often. The first four chapters of this are both repulsive and fascinating - you have developed and clear and compelling voice and your characters walk from the page. Would i buy this and read this, i am not sure, i find the pitch a little vague and i think it could do with being tightened further, centering more on this mystery author calling for help. But i think i wouldn't buy this because i am past wanting to read about this type of world - however, in my twenties, i don' think i would have been able to put it down. It's just books are very personal to our age and life experiences, and this is no reflection on this excellent book. Shelved.

This is so elegant and beautiful and perfect. And the writing is so sweet. I'm only up to chapter three but I'll be back to read more I'm sure.

Thanks so much!

This is so elegant and beautiful and perfect. And the writing is so sweet. I'm only up to chapter three but I'll be back to read more I'm sure.

Where to start? Although undoubtedly a bleak and depressing subject, I found myself wanting to read on, lured by the starkness of it, and your ability to use words as pictures, which is such a skill, and I really felt a part of it, horrified, yet drawn to look, if you know what I mean. The subject matter is controversial, but should be faced, rather than swept under the carpet. The only time I have ever encountered postitution in books is when a prostitute writes her 'misery memoirs'. However, I fear it will turn many people off, but if you stick with your guns, you could go far, as your style, as well as the way you deal with the subject matter, are quite unique. I didn't really have many problems with the formatting of it, maybe a few typos or whatever, but nothing drastic. Good luck with this, and it will go on my shelf when I can make some room. Meanwhile, watchlisted.

Hello, and many thanks for your comments.

Yes, I realise that, in the beginning at least, it is a very bleak, depressing tale. But as I mentioned in the intro there is a theme of redemption that, later on (I hope) becomes apparent, and while I also realise, like you say, it is a controversial subject and perhaps rather too gruesome in parts, I can really tell it no other way. And, also, I never really wanted to give it a happy ending, with regards to David.

Weird though - it's completely different from my 'baby' novel, 'My House on the Fjord', which I wrote in a few weeks. Maybe that's my own form of redemption for writing 'The Art of Tragedy'! ;)

Again, thank you very much for you kind comments.

Martin.

Hi Martin,

Love your descriptions. You're an excellent writer and you've drawn us a very vivid picture of a very disturbing place. I found it both disgusting and intriguing. I did wonder how Blue could walk while asleep, even with help from her sister. Did I misunderstand that? This is a unique story worth a turn on my shelf.

Thank you. Yes, it is a very disturbing subject matter, but thank you for your kind comments. With regards to Blue walking when asleep....well, you don't, um, know what they are?

Thanks again.

Hi Martin,

Love your descriptions. You're an excellent writer and you've drawn us a very vivid picture of a very disturbing place. I found it both disgusting and intriguing. I did wonder how Blue could walk while asleep, even with help from her sister. Did I misunderstand that? This is a unique story worth a turn on my shelf.

Hi Martin. Fantastic. Thank you for passionate descriptions. Well balanced dialogue with narrative creates stimulating flow. Shelved. Good luck. Janet Marie

Christ, this is bleak. Fascinating but so bleak. The quality of the writing is great but this is a world we can only hope will overdose itself before we have to deal with it. On my shelf for pure originality. Now I need a bath and a laugh. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

:) (Inappropriate smilie!). Yes, it is. There is no getting away from it. And I'm not going to pretend there is an altogether happy ending either. But cheers for your comments.

Christ, this is bleak. Fascinating but so bleak. The quality of the writing is great but this is a world we can only hope will overdose itself before we have to deal with it. On my shelf for pure originality. Now I need a bath and a laugh. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

As hard as I try, I cannot get the formatting right!

Martin, this is a totally bizarre, morbidly fascinating book. I'm impressed with the believability of the atmosphere, mixed with the unbelievability of some of the details (like the park burial) - although I recognise that not all the details have an objective reality. It's very nicely done.
Occasionally the phrasing is trite: "the men are beside themselves with a furious lust", "the driver who declines to acknowledge our existence", etc, where fewer words and/or more concrete description would be better.
I enjoyed the tease of not knowing for several pages what was special about the twins.
Yes, it needs proofing, there are a couple of apostrophes gone wrong, and "naval" for "navel", nothing too serious but distracting from involvement in the story.
I have shelved it. Good luck with it!
Robin

Hello. I have uploaded the first four chapters of my second novel; 'The Art of Tragedy'. The formatting is a bit of a mess, but I would be interested in any comments on the content before I go any further. Cheers. ;)