The Alchemy of Chance

From a delicious, happy feast, welcoming spring - 'exchanged smiles beneath a billowing parachute of white linen' - to the sudden disaster that waits for just such moments - 'a road map, patterned with splashes of fresh blood'.

You treat joy and grief with an even hand, Peter, and an equal share of the palette - 'in the shadow of her sister's ghost', 'sunny as infant summers' - the mixture of beautiful words and shredded emotions both lifts and weighs down the reader, pulling them into the miniature picture, until, as with Aurélie, the world starts to grow again, 'Will that do?' "For now," said the Blind Astrologer.

The contrast with Dafydd is instantly evident - the pace has upped and the dialogue with his father is like a tennis match. He's talked into looking for Sean. And on it goes: blunt and angular: hit, hard, cruised and grabbed, beef and bowels and beer. The horoscope from the old lady leavens the mood a little. Meanwhile Aurélie does her own horoscope, and sets off on a journey. 'Perhaps you'll meet a tall dark stranger', 'They're all dark now'.

The only conflict for me with this novel is that the language makes me want to read slowly whilst the plot urges me to turn the pages quickly to see what Aurélie and Dafydd will make of each other - but then I also want to see how that in turn affects the language. Then there's the food and the wine, the landscapes, all the detailed cameos along the way. It's Literary Fiction, but the emphasis is on both words equally - the recurring duality of form and content make this quite remarkable ... backed.

First off I’m gonna cheat and copy and paste something I wasted on the forum today -
“As unpublished writers in the most part we are all prone to insecurity in our writing; we are all perhaps overanxious to show the world how well we can write. This means there’s a lot of truly beautiful heartfelt writing on this site. There are books here the beauty of whose prose would shame a lot of modern published novels. However writing beautifully is not by any means the same thing as writing a good novel.”
Your writing shows none of that anxiety to impress. It is as crisp and confident as the footprints of a fox in virgin snow.
My second overriding impression was, here is a novel that is genuinely plot driven. By which I mean it’s quickly evident how much creativity and lively courageous intelligence has gone into its design. This novel, about map making, is also a map in itself, a complex intricately drawn map. That chance has a design to it is of course the premise of pretty much every novel ever written: we make order from shavings and rinds, from stains and litter, from what is strewn and overlooked as much as from what is photographed and cherished, You though are drawing up a map of the map so to speak which is a fascinating and exciting idea. Once we have this idea of the map every detail has the eye-catching pull of a landmark, a pathway, a clue. We see what you describe in a conventional context but we also see it shifted into a poetic realm where its significance, its consequence is still buried, is accumulating meaning and force before it’s eventually unearthed and integrated into the overall pattern, becomes another part of the map. We participate in the drawing up of this map with the excitement of an archaeologist taking off the top soil of an ancient burial mound. We know this is a treasure map.
This then is a book one instinctively feels sure will hold its shape from start to finish. The structure is firm, its terrifically well designed and built.

Minor quibbles - A slightly cloying mirroring chime in the last two sentences of the first paragraph – perhaps drop the “quiet” from “the wintry meadows so it doesn’t repeat the rhythm of “long narrow garden”.
Chapter two (and here I’m also drawing on my fanatical love of footie) “to set up one goal and later headed one in” reads better as headed another in.”
“Aurelie had realised her teenage dream: she was a map maker.” This utterly ruins the great pleasure we derived from working it out ourselves a page or so earlier. It’s unnecessary to say it. Readers don’t like being told what they’ve grasped from clues of their own initiative. It’s one of the pleasures of reading.
To end on a slightly odd note, at the same time as I framed the idea of map making my mind flashed back to chapter one and I saw an image of something that was not even part of your description - I saw amongst the crushed upholstery of the car’s interior a map splashed with a pattern of warm blood. That’s the kind of book this is, it makes us also see things that aren’t highlighted or even there. We too are contributing in the drawing up of the map.
PS Bysshe adored it too.

This is from someone who has now left. I kept it:

'Have just read through chapter six...and I have to say, there are points of this novel which are so poignant, lyrical and just magic really and of a quality that is beyond beautiful.

I was a bit confused at first with chapter one, I thought were in Anthony Capella's Food of Love territory. And it seemed a little diffuse and didn't really start working for me until Maria and Aurelie were on the road. And then, wow.

Chapter two is simply sublime. There is no other word. The paragraphs and passages about Didier have an emotional and poetic power which is hauntingly perfect--I wrote down only one phrase out of love--"sunny as infant summers" which is only one among many I wish I had written and which I'd love to use in a sonnet...but really that whole sequence is as fine as anything written by Salley Vickers in her eloquent masterpiece, Miss Garnet's Angel.

Aurelie's slow emergence back into life and Didier's getting her on the train--those too are superb. Frankly I think what you've got with the two of them is just that undefinable essence of wholly engaging, wholly embracing characters and the whole rest of what I've read suffers because they are just such fine literary creations. They are simply shining...and it goes beyond mere writing to alchemy when that happens. So the subsequent chapters suffer merely because they're not in them. That's how bright and brilliant they are. And when you write of her, when you write in her, there is a new perception and tenderness to your work--the comment about hugging Herve and he smelled of lavender. How perfect and heart-rending and catch-your-breath exact is that?

So we have Richard...and it's hard as I say because of the greatness of the other two, to really be interested in him...because we're only waiting, rather impatiently to get back to Aurelie. Dafydd is better--especially in his encounter with the old lady who again has that very French charm to which too many people are blind. But still, I was chomping at the bit to get back to Aurelie and to begin to understand how you're weaving this all together.

As for plot--no idea where you're going with this. If you write as you do about Aurelie, I frankly don't care, I'm just as happy to wallow in your prose all day...tell me anything you like as long as she's in the frame. She is that mesmerising, that endearing.

I probably haven't said nearly enough here to convince you of the worth of this novel...but don't let anyone convince you that paring down these exquisite descriptions of life, or removing the poetry or the Parisianness or the Baudelaire, will make you a better writer. Because this is magic.'

All the best--MM Bennetts (Of Honest Fame)

Although I backed this book a while ago on the strength of the first chapter, I wanted to reserve my Comments until I had read all the upload.

I only wish, though, that I hadn't started reading when I was hungry. The smoke of seared meat and wild herbs and the earthy pungency of shaved truffles invaded my nostrils, kicked-started my gastric juices and eventually drove me out to my nearest deli for a slice of tarte au citron before I could proceed much farther.

A confirmed Francophile, I found within your chapters a genuine sense of place -- not just through mouth-watering descriptions of food, but with little touches exclusively French which gave an unshakable realism to the story and to your characters. And you managed this -- again, effortlessly -- with the style of the English chapters too, where everything was cheaper, brasher; and where the rain stung my face and the scouring smell of salt was in the spray.

One of the most striking features of this book is that the author has the confidence to allow the underlying story to proceed at the appropriate speed. Whatever happens on the surface, and however frantic it may be -- the sexual "quickie" in the caravan, noise and bustle of Paris, the movement of traffic etc. -- it does not detract from Aurelie's slow and careful mapping of her memory. This is a skillful writer indeed.

I must give particular thanks for two lines that resonated with me for personal reasons: "Hannah wore her loneliness like a hooded cloak ... she had come to prefer a self-sufficient solitude to a bogus sense of togetherness" and the description of photography as "the art of bending light". They allowed me to connect not only with the book's characters, but also the author.

It seems almost churlish to mention a few nitpicks, but mention them I must: Ch.2, last line should read "... even though she might (not 'may') not say so"; there should be only one 't' in 'patissiere'; one 't' in 'pivoting' and one 's' in 'focused'. In Ch.8 you need an 'a' in 'lept'. And, in Ch.7, I doubt if a local woman would use the word "honey". The universal term of endearment in the West Country is "lovey".

Please upload the rest. You have left too many threads that lead to intriguing ends for your readers to be satisfied with a mere nine chapters. Like Krista I, too, want to know the significance of "I kill you all!"

Superbly written. Well worthy of publication.

This is a book I like very much. I search for novels with an unusual theme. I also like your writing as far as the actual choice of words on the page, but somehow it reads jerkily and this matters particularly in the very first chapter. By 5 it is more fluent, but in my opinion, insufficiently. can't you have some passages which are longer and uninterrupted?

That's my only gripe for the rest is very enjoyable and compelling. Backed
Lara
A RELATIVE LOSS

This is very well written.
The story is an odd one, but you develop things well.
Nice title, I like it.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

This is a really strong opening - I love the whisky sidling up to the yaourt on the scrabble board and the detail of material - the fuse wire, locating pins and lumps of plasticine in the toolbox; the artichoke soup kicked into life by the earthy truffle. I will come back and read more.

First chapter.
This is completely absorbing writing. A feast for the senses and an immersive experience in other peoples lives, some much so, that you forget about your own for a while. If that isn't the essense of fine storytelling then I don't know what is.
I don't know why, as there is nothing in the narrative to suggest it directly, but I'm left with one overriding image-small waves breaking over wet sand, edging the tide further up each time, untill you realise with a shock you are ankle deep in the sea.
No subjective criticisms I'm afriad.
On WL, 6 stars.
Thank you for a superb read.
John
Dropping Babies.

This is high class writing and a very sympathetic heroine. I appreciate your careful wordsmithing, particularly your imagery and that you incorporate many senses. I think you'll do well with this.

I did find one sentence in chapter 1 that seemed garbled. It starts, "the time she decided..." And it reads like it got half edited somewhere and then got lost in the shuffle.

Best of luck with this!

--Tod
The Lost Wink

Hi Peter,
The short pitch should be more intriguing, don't explain the genre. But the long pitch is great. You have some lovely ideas and detail here.

This is beautiful stuff. I love the beginning and the wonderful food, fragrantly described. But you don't wallow in the words, we move swiftly on with no sign of a backstory lovingly signposted as is the case with so many books on this site!! This is masterful and assured. The dialogue is snappy, but my only slight crit is that at times you spell things out too much with dialogue, a lighter hand maybe e.g. "I couldn't find the toothpaste" ... "So you swiped everything off the shelf", the second bit isn't needed as explanation, it feels slightly gratuitous. I felt the same about the "eat like a lark in Paris. All that junk too" bit. Because your touch is so masterful, anything even slightly clunky stands out more - sorry!! But those are both really small points.
Generally I loved it. Very sensory and fluid. If only I could write this well!!
I think we were doing a sort of reading swap, can't quite remember. But pls take a look at mine if you have a moment. I will highly star now and back you when I can find the space on my shelf.
Well done & good luck.
Sharda.
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

The pitch of the book is strong and sound and writing is polished. The introduction of charachters at start and then the creation of scene at a slow pace but with perfection is the thing which inspired me a lot. The brilliant and realistic dialogue shows that you are a perfect storyteller. The book deserves highest stars and is on my WL for future backing. Well done Peter 11.

The Alchemy of Chance.
Here goes - I cannot fault your pitches, which tell me what to expect, and your cover isduly mysterious.
I take notes as I read, and dont pretend to be an expert, but I have a feeling I wont be making many.

Ch.1. My taste buds are tingling already.
Skilfull technique - providing back-story through Didier as he talks to comatose Aurelie.
You are a masterly professional writer. I'm sure you are published. What are you doing on this site?
'At the end of each day, as a sombre dusk fell on his sould,' Wonder words.
'When she had teamed her mental map with spatial reality' - another brilliant phrase.

Ch.2. This may be a nit - or not. If Dafydd's car was the only one on the road, in whose sight would it be? Not Dafydd's, if he was in it? It just sounds a bit weird.

Ch.3. I have a feeling that that was a very natural thing for Didier to do, when Aurelie wasnt there - find a woman.
And you certainly know how to present a meal.
'She grabbed her white stick and swish-tapped her way upstairs.' The words describe her annoyance with perfection.

Ch.4. And the link is made, through the French painter.

If you'd posted more chapters up, I'd be reading on.

Do I qualify for a read from you now? I would be honoured...

Jane (Breath of Africa)

So... I read every bit you had up of this a some days ago. I took note of earlier comments and ate first, but it didn't help; I still feel it. Something indefinable is here that makes me ache to have more: I am hungry for the rest.

I am intimidated enough that it took me days to comment. This writing is very good - I can't say much else.

When i read this first chapter - and the pitches - I realize that I most often go to reads with a feeling of dread: meeting writing that is clumsy, full of itself (the author), devoid of art. And I recognize how happy i am when I meet an author of substance here: someone who's language I am familiar with through 60 years of reading and loving books.
This is such a sweet experience. There is nothing for me to comment negatively on. I can relax and enjoy.
Thanks for the experience.
Watchlisted and starred
Leelah Saachi, "When fear comes back to Love."

A fantastic story, beautiful settings and descriptions, very evocative. Excellent work Peter, best of luck.

Backed with pleasure,

Jack

First off, I want to say that I love the sound of your pitch. It has the potential for romance, intrigue and interesting emotional depths to explore. Plus, a mention of Scrabble always gets my vote! Oh, and France. If this were on the shelves I would definitely pick it up to have a look. 
Oh, and it even starts with Scrabble. Very cool. Except the first chapter feels a bit slow to me - I think you are working on setting the scene, but it doesn't draw me into the action. I wonder if what is happening at the beginning of this chapter could be woven in somewhere else, or perhaps shortened? I might even start with the car crash, or even the hospital scene. 
Interesting detail about Annaelle - but it kind of feels unconnected to the rest of the narrative.  Can you show us this somehow, can it come out through dialogue for example or later on in the story?
Another suggestion, regarding dialogue - in chapter two you have dialogue with no attributions and no interwoven action - I think it could benefit from that, to help break it up and for characterisation. Eg "Dad." He looked at his father, wondering how to phrase it. "It's been more than ten years." (That's a bad example, but hopefully it shows the kind of thing I mean.)
Tiny nit - where did you find Aurelie's surname? The circumflex accent felt odd to me. And Anaelle is normally spelled with one N - but at the end of the day you can do what you like with the names of your characters!
Anyway - I'm an unpublished writer, so take what is helpful and ditch what is not! Oh - and I love the title. 

I just finished everything you have posted up here. Let's see, there's Aurelie, Didier, Maria, missing brother Sean, Dafydd, Lucy and Richard, oh and baby James.
I love how this story starts with Aurelie chopping wood, showing her self sufficiency in what is still very much a man's world. You have a sympathetic understanding of your women characters. After the accident, you've already let me, the reader, know that Aurelie will probably find a way to fully live happy again.
The love and connection between family members is touching. No matter, Dafydd will go find Sean, even though he first protests. The way Didier takes such loving care of Aurelie made me smile.
I like the image of the mud and tulip being the last thing she ever saw. I thought it was a great metaphor for life, beauty and dirt, all mixed together.
Lots of food and travel, food and travel, but right when I think you're taking yourself too seriously, two women are passing artichoke gas in the car, then again, in chapter 4, Baby James farts his answer!
I sat here and mapquested Quimper, Dinard, and Brest, and learned something about Bretagne, a place I've never been.
Now I wonder how Dafydd and Aurelie will meet, what's the deal with Lucy and Richard, and how on earth did Richard the chef get such a great touch with babies?
Will they ever find Sean? (just a few questions...)
I have no comment on your writing except that I wasn't distracted by misspelled words or wrong tenses. Just lost myself in the story.
I would read on if there were more posted.
Good luck!
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

Peter,

I read your first chapter and the half of the second. I stopped simply because Dafydd's perspective wasn't as interesting as Aurelie's.
I found the irony of putting a potential map-maker in the spot of being blind very intelligent. I enjoyed immensely the few paragraphs where you desccribe how she managed to "map" her surroundings after the incident. I would have liked more of it. Another thing I noticed, were your realistic dialogues. They were smooth and bore the atmosphere of the moment.
I'm not sure what to recommend as far as Dafydd's perspective is concerned. It is probably a matter of taste, and what I found not interesting, another would love to read.
5 stars from me for the Blind Astrologer :) I share that interest with Aurelie.

Yannis
The Book of the Forsaken

This is stunning writing.
A story so real, so vivid and so beautifully written it's like it was on canvas.
Wonderful French scenes, tangible, clever and intelligent.
I can't praise this enough.
Backed with no hesitation.
One of the best on Authonomy, if you ask me.
Sadly not many people do!

This novel is completely captivating. Where has this been published? I was drawn in by the title, even more so by your cover and then by the nearly flawless prose. Not sure if you are still around or if you check in here at all but would love to know more about your journey to publication. And about where and how I can get my hands on this book!

Thanks for a fabulous read!

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

the french live well becuase they eat well or is it the other way around, there's a point in enjoying the countryside and food, the everyday makes our world, and i wonder if this too is what a blind young woman needs to rediscover as she retraces her young life, the writing is excellent, but it asks a lot of reader who is not ready to enjoy this talent when it dotes on the richness of the everyday, and on the reader leading a more prolettariat and impoverhed existence than the piece's characters, there is tragedy enough, but will the reader be able to empathize,i like this piece and i think what happens in future chapters may be what really makes or breaks this piece, i will star it well and ask if you have a chance to take a look at my piece the "the sound not heard", i would appreciate your comments, best wishes

Peter, you have a wonderfully fluid style of writing that's a joy to read. I didn't have to read a few pages in order to settle into the book, I was there from the first. I'm really enjoying what I've read. Hope all is well with you. Richard.

I bought this in paperback on Amazon - just did my review for the Amazon site as I think it's earned one!

...Inside the ambiguous covers is a Euro-road movie, taking in lost souls from Britain and France, and setting them off on journeys of self-discovery. I got used to the multi-angle viewpoint, and the author has a knack of introducing tiny points of empathy to identify with each character as they are introduced - subconsciously almost, I was aware of waiting to read their next instalment as I read the other unfolding adventures.

It's both poetic and tragic in places, with an emphasis on the constantly-seeking state of humanity to fill voids either physical or emotional. The dialogue is light but the implied undercurrents are intense, knowing the situations of each character, and their dispositions.

A great road-trip read, should be essential for any camping trip or self-catering break (take some culinary tips from the inspiring text!).

Would be nice to see a re-launched hardback, with a map of Aurelie's journey as the cover to pick up the travel market it obviously suits. Good stuff :)

The Alchemy of Chance
Fiction, 3rd person

What a beautiful, intriguing read! The imagry is so vivid and compelling!
Marvelous story line! The characters are so real and the events so life like. Bravo!
Mechanics: positively perfect as far as I could tell.
Pacing: varies somewhat, much like life. Dally for a time, smell the flowers. Pick up and roll along. Then WHAM! a catostophic event, completely unexpected as are most accidents. Well done!
Raechel
Echo

Hi Peter,

In a cunning plan to try and get you to read A Memory of Blood, I'm here to peek at your book. :)

I'll comment as I read since I find that the easiest way to keep track.

(Sorry in advance for any typos, but my keyboard’s a bit knackered :()

From the start, this is beautifully written. The descriptions are vivid, and yet flow like honey. Aurelie, Maria and Didier are so well and easily characterised. Their interactions are so natural and relaxed. The feel of the place is idyllic and relaxed. And that damn food is actually making me hungry as I read about it grrrr. :(

The car crash is such a shock as it comes out of nowhere. I didn't expect it at all. I had a lump in my throat when Maria dies and Aurelie's blinded :(. It's a tragedy.

Dafydd and his dad are so different. Their dialogue's so much for immediate and fast. There's nothing of the relaxed life at the start of Aurelie's story. When he gets to France, his interaction with Camille is a joy. I can feel him relaxing heartbeat by heartbeat. His reminiscence with Sam is bittersweet. I can almost feel his emotions in turmoil.

When the story returns to the blinded Aurelie, she's so strong and full of life despite her tragedy. I want to see her find happiness and a sense of self worth. I think she's the sort who will never give up at anything. I want to cheer her on. :)

There's so much to like about this book. I can see why it was published. The writing's assured and professional. The dialogue's fluid and believable and brings all the characters to life. The heart of the story's Aurelie, though. It's her struggles and resilience that will have anybody who picks up your book reading on far too late into the night. ;)

Despite the fact you don't need the stars, I've given you lots of them anyway. I hope you sell many copies of this beautiful book. :)

Pete

I ordered this from my local library but when it arrived I was at the start of a massive book (Forever Amber) so I dropped it round to my Dad and he just brought it back and said it was "brilliant" and that he had to read the last half in a day because he had to find out what happened.

A fantastic achievement Peter.

Very vivid and compelling start; your words paint pictures very effectively. The story (what I've read so far) really intrigues; it works, with a different style. I look forward to reading more. Highly rated.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

ALCHEMY OF CHANCE

COVER: I like it...wish it wasn't cut off...the dimensions are 5x7.5...you could email it to me and I could alter to fit if you wanted....but probably not a big deal....hm, after reading some of this, I think the cover doesn't quite express the romance/lush/French/drama in this. I'd be happy to work something up for you...if you wanted...

TITLE: I like that as well. Feel like I read it before but that's probably because I've seen it here so often.

SHORT PITCH: Hm, pretty good but not as magnetic as I think it might be....might have a touch of too kooky about it..but it is attractive to me.

LONG PITCH: Sounds lovely...romantic outlook...v good...only thing that gave me pause was the choice of names...but might just be because I've never read them before. Certainly I wouldn't think Laura Peguine and David better.

TEXT: I only ever give my thoughts as I read because I'm lame at crit...
Definitely romantic. Possibly a touch too much on food description(could just be my tastes...no pun intd) Ooh, but I love a good artichoke fart passage. What a pleasant car crash...lovely. the puke addition really brought me in close to the action. LUSH... What terrific character development... seems like it would have been great fun to write/develop...from her lost twin to her blindness, etc... I've only been in southern France and Paris...not very much but there is definitely something that makes me feel the FRENCH in this... solid work, Pete. Congrats on this.
Best,
-=Bradley

Dear Peter,
It is a delight to travel with the courageous Aurelie as she embarks on her journey. This book is a visual and cultural feast, with brilliant contrast in the characters of Aurelie and Dayfdd. I've read this story in the past and remembered well (and felt the same indignation) in the scene with Aurelie and her uncle - I think at this point I'm deeply vested in her - I would definitely read this entire story if I had the chance. Lovely, descriptive prose that takes me right into the setting and culture.

Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

THE ALCHEMY OF CHANCE-Peter S. Brooks
hullo Peter. An interesting method of telling a story. Continue on, will look forward to reading more. starred too. Please take a look at mine.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort

THE ALCHEMY OF CHANCE-Peter S. Brooks
hullo Peter. An interesting method of telling a story. Continue on, will look forward to reading more. starred too. Please take a look at mine.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort

I just read the first chapter of THE ALCHEMY OF CHANCE. Your writing is solid. You do an excellent job of developing characters through their dialogue, rather than relying on rote narration. I'm not sure all the details about preparing the table are necessary as I found myself wondering where the scene was going. In other words, now that I've read the whole chapter, I recognize the opening scene is about showing the warmth and love the family members enjoy, but I think that would still come through without all of the details you provide. Regardless, it's your book, so if you're attached to those details and you think they serve a purpose, by all means keep them. The paragraph about the grill provides another example of the kind of thing I'm talking about. Regardless, the paragraph about the grill has some antecedent pronoun issues. Your pronouns seem to refer to the grill, but they appear two and three sentences after the grill and you've got other intervening nouns in between, so I think the writing there is a little muddle. Also, I didn't really care for the "Early morning", "Mid-day" cues throughout the chapter. Also, I agree with the comment below that wanted to see a little bit more imagery with the car crash. I think you also have an antecedent problem with the car crash (i.e., "It hit the rear end"). It seems to me that Aurelie's car would hit the back end of the oncoming car that raced to pass another, but swung back into its own lane a moment too late. The "it", however, as written, describes the oncoming car. If I've misunderstood the position of the cars, and the car is coming from behind, perhaps the scene needs an extra word or two of explanation to make that clear. For example, I imagined in my head that the cars were on a two lane road, but maybe that's not what I'm meant to envision. Notwithstanding these fairly insignificant issues that don't even require changes unless you see fit, I thought the writing itself was excellent.

Best,

Rob
(Aralen Dreams)

Peter - I have read the first chapter of 'The Alchemy...' and I really liked what I read. The dialogue and narrative intertwine beautifully well to create a read that is flavorful.
The story interested me but what truly pulls me back to read further is the flavor of the writing - it is full bodied, and yet velvety.

At the point in the narrative when the accident takes place I felt the space and narrative dedicated to the description of the accident was rather sparse. It happens suddenly and is over before the reader realizes what has happened. Where you talk about everything taking on 'a dream like quality', I'd like to see some more description of those fleeting seconds when the car tumbles down and Aurelie looks at Maria.

I'm putting the book on the shelf now and will read more at a later time. Currently, I am packing for an international move. Kinda takes time from reading beautiful prose.

Dear Peter, simply! Quite brilliant. So what's the point? You've been on this site for a while. Able to write with the creativity that you seem to have captured so easily. Yet still you wait! For this piece of fine, original Literature, to be noticed. I now know, the impossibilities of my passion, will be infernal and damned. If I don't achieve half of what you have, with this fine book. Truly inspired. Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ].

I've only so far have had the chance to read the first chapter and am already hooked by the eloquent prose. I'm anxious to read more. I'll leave a more constructive comment once I've had the chance to get further along. I'm rating what I've read so far and bookshelf-ing.

I puit you on my watchlist a fews days agon so i could come back an read it more closely, and i'm glad I did. This is a very good read. Your voice is rather strong and pulls the reader along. It could flow a little better in places, but that is nothing that a good editor could not polish up for you. And i think your voice more or less overcomes any problems with with flow, most of which are slight. I have not read far enough to comment of plot stucture, so I won't, but I'm going to back this in a day or so, depending on the quality fo other books I read--and I wish you the best of luck with yourmmanuscript. Please read som of my book when you have time and let me wknow what you think.



blueboy




P.S. Here are a few other books I’ve found worth reading and supporting. Check them out when you have time.

Souvenirs by Louise Galvin -- Out of Sync by Elizabeth Lindberg -- Ophan, Dark Puppets by Edward L. Paciorek -- American Sycamore by Karen H Fielding --BUNGALOW 52 by SUNSHINEGIRL

Aurelie is a well-rounded, and quite likable character. Your imagery is very good. You deepen your extraordinary narrative with wonderful metaphors lke 'a cocktail of therapies' .Your dialogue is crisp,believable and relevant. Your pace gripped me. This is good literary fiction Backed.

Peter, I like the start - a table set with flowers and good food - a happy spring day. Then, and it's believable, such things happen, there's an accident and Aurelie ends up blinded and struggling to come to terms with this. I'm surprised that one who's blind would undertake to go on her own abroad, but this is well thought out and written as is the beginning of Dafydd's quest. It all makes for a good read and I'm happy to back the book.
Backed,
Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

Hi Peter ...

This is a good strong opening to your novel, all calm and beautiful and then the road accident happens. In Aurelie you have a very believable main character, and dialogue for the most is good. On the amount you have uploaded it is a little difficult to know where the plot is going but it appears headed in the right direction.

Just one suggestion. The ellipsis (eliipses, plural). It should be: 'word ... word', with a space before and after. At the end of dialogue it should be: 'word ...' with a space before only. If used at the beginning of dialogue: '... word' with a space after only and should never be used with other punctuation: 'word ...?' You must decide which is the more pertinant. If it is a hanging question, use the ellipsis, if not the question mark. If you are using MS Word, the ellipsis can be produced by holding down 'Alt Gr' and keying the 'full stop' (period).

Apologies for my pickiness. 'Backed'. Regards ... Duncan

The alchemy of chance
The dialogue is good and crisp
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Lovely opening setting scene and introducing characters then the preparations and a slowly building a sense of tension as they set off, the perfection of the opening, the sense of family and happiness that it has provided gives what follows an added impact. What follows seen through Didier's eyes is perfectly paced, effective without being maudlin, and the beginnings of the recovery of spirit are lovely.

The start of Dafydd's story is equally enthralling. The reluctant search for Sean. The beginning of his trip, makes me want to head off too. Your use of detail is very good, to me that seems to be something that makes a real difference. It is subtle but makes the simple very readable so it is easy to engage with the story and its depth. I also like that you have not overdone the voice or been dramatic with other style elements, sometimes 'literary' writers seem to feel the need to exaggerate in this way and in the end rather take away from rather than enhance the impact of their words.

- were sat – this just doesn't sound good to me ;)

Good luck, I want to read more and can definitely see this in a bookstore.

A charming tale, brilliant and realistic dialogue injected with a touch of French here and there.
Fantastique! Tres bien!

Alison Butler

I had a feeling I had read this book before, as it seemed familiar, but then I have read so many on this site I think I am becoming a bit confused, there are so many good titles available. However, I like your book so I am happy to give it some more time on my shelf. Eunice - The Temple dancer.

From a delicious, happy feast, welcoming spring - 'exchanged smiles beneath a billowing parachute of white linen' - to the sudden disaster that waits for just such moments - 'a road map, patterned with splashes of fresh blood'.

You treat joy and grief with an even hand, Peter, and an equal share of the palette - 'in the shadow of her sister's ghost', 'sunny as infant summers' - the mixture of beautiful words and shredded emotions both lifts and weighs down the reader, pulling them into the miniature picture, until, as with Aurélie, the world starts to grow again, 'Will that do?' "For now," said the Blind Astrologer.

The contrast with Dafydd is instantly evident - the pace has upped and the dialogue with his father is like a tennis match. He's talked into looking for Sean. And on it goes: blunt and angular: hit, hard, cruised and grabbed, beef and bowels and beer. The horoscope from the old lady leavens the mood a little. Meanwhile Aurélie does her own horoscope, and sets off on a journey. 'Perhaps you'll meet a tall dark stranger', 'They're all dark now'.

The only conflict for me with this novel is that the language makes me want to read slowly whilst the plot urges me to turn the pages quickly to see what Aurélie and Dafydd will make of each other - but then I also want to see how that in turn affects the language. Then there's the food and the wine, the landscapes, all the detailed cameos along the way. It's Literary Fiction, but the emphasis is on both words equally - the recurring duality of form and content make this quite remarkable ... backed.

This is plainly an assured and polished piece of writing. I suspect this book has been a labour of love for you for some time.

The prose and dialogue are smooth and believable respectively, and paint an ideal, bucolic picture. And then you shatter the peace with the car accident that comes out of nowhere. Beautiful final conscious image, by the way. :)

And what a terrible result from the accident. Blindness. A brave choice for a novel, as you're going to have to work hard to describe Aurelie's world without the sense that is primary for most people. But I think you've also opened a door to allow unusual and compelling descriptions in other ways.

Honestly, I see v little to pick fault with here. I would have suggested your beginning was too slow. But then I read the accident and realised you deliberately used to start to lull the reader.

About the only criticism I have is that I think at a few points you overuse ellipses slightly. I believe they'd have greater effect if you used them a little less often.

I think you've got a good story on your hands here, v well told. I'm happy to back you. :)

Pete

Your pitch sounds very interesting. Backed. Please check out my 2 books.

Your pitch sounds very interesting. Backed. Please check out my 2 books.

Hi Peter,

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your from your skillful hand. If I may however, are not some of your paragraphs kind of short? Only in a sense that if you take the parachute of linen for example, why did it not drift down immediately, and in the same paragraph?

Honestly though, I really found 'The Alchemy Of Chance' exceptional, and I am more than happy to back it. Best of luck with your talents.. :)

Regards,
R.G.

Dear Peter
your long pitch is one of the best on site really is, and the book cover i just loved the first time around and then the second as well. Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT
the VERY best of luck
If you have not already , please comment on my book and BACK it if not that is OK also
Denise
The Letter

It might be 50 movies inspired but this feels fresh despite the time period, there is human drama at its core and I like the way 2 strangers lives intertwine while on separate journeys and find something to shine light on each other's journies, the tragedy of losing her sight mirrors the loss of his brother, both things that threaten to tie them in one spot mentally and stopping their lives going forward, not my usual cup of tea but thoroughly enjoying this

Yes. Nature, and one's environment act. Objects act. Your verbs conjure images of a world in motion from the first page. This is how it's done.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Yesterday in another place I had the pleasure of reviewing a work by a French author of great merit who is struggling to be published. Your work reminds me of that. Whether you are French or not you have the gift of evoking that elusive quality French fiction has.

I have been reading so much dribble about dragons and vampires and werewolves and, dare I say it, bondage on this site that I was likely to despair. Finding your book has saved me so I will survive my second week on Authonomy. I am backing your book with pleasure.

T. L. Bartush
Bleak House Bleak Shed

Ooh, this is like going on holiday in France with a good book. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)