Worth Killing For

Hi Guys!


That's me updated WKF a wee bit. The opening chapter is different and has more of a catch. Let me know what you think!

Cheers,

Aimee

This is a great story, Aimee!

One can't get away from its pages - trapped in your vampire power - and - enjoying it a lot! :)

You are a superb writer - and I'll be watching for your books in the bookstores!

Two thumbs up.

Backed with great pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Great cover matched with super pitch. Love sucks but here it literally does in the guise of a handsome stranger. Nice name for the club and I found myself on edge, knowing Paul was a vampire and ready for the punch. Bastian is a nice anchor in the chaos of the club, almost like an angel sifting through limbo for lost souls.

A very novel twist for the Vampire genre. What you have posted so far is well written and well paced. Your use of imagery is excellent, your character development is solid and all of this makes your finely crafted story a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Aimee, An upbeat vampire story with the mobile phoning vs the home phone. Elena’s death puts a different style into Iah’s life and into the writing. And Bastian’s section is different mood altogether, a portent for the other characters. The writing has texture in these different modes and draws the curiosity. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Thank you for a fantasic critique, katherine! I am currently working on Chapter one as I had a great suggestion from many to hold off on Elena's death telling until later. So i will be going more into Iah and Paul's relationship.

Aimee x

Hi Aimee! Two thumbs up for this one! You've given the vampire genre a fresh bite! WORTH KILLING FOR sucked me right in. Love love LOVE it!

WOW! Thanks so much! It's a vampire eat vampire world out there. So hearing that makes me feel much more confident about the story! Thank you!

Aimee x

This is an intriguing and suspenseful read. Love it! It has the angst, the horror, and the romance. I love the main character too. Keep it coming...

Thanks so much! I am currently working on chapter one and will post more soon!

Aimee

This is an intriguing and suspenseful read. Love it! It has the angst, the horror, and the romance. I love the main character too. Keep it coming...

I've already backed, but I wanted to throw this little comment on here as well. Well done!!

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

Hi Aimee, An upbeat vampire story with the mobile phoning vs the home phone. Elena’s death puts a different style into Iah’s life and into the writing. And Bastian’s section is different mood altogether, a portent for the other characters. The writing has texture in these different modes and draws the curiosity. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hard hitting and well written. Not my typical genre, but I can appreciate good writing when I see it, and this is it! You clearly put a lot of time into this and it's paid off, with this polished and great book.
Backed with pleasure,
Aimee

Thank you so much for the lovely commments. I respect vampire fiction isn't every one's fancy (including my lecturers!) I will be working on the first opening chapters as they are in need of some polishing (is a writers work ever done??!) So any comments on what needs to improve is welcome!
Ta,
Aimee
P.S. i will check out your book soon!

This is excellent writing. Your pitch is great and immediately enticed me to reading your prose. I read all three of your chapters and found myself completely immersed in your dark, emotive world. Bastion is particular stood out as a great character.
Backed with pleasure
Carl
the Time Hunters

Thank you so much Carl! I do love Bastian quite a lot. I know authors shouldn't have favorite characters, but it's kinda hard not to love him. Ha ha. I'll check out your book as well.
Ta,
Aimee

This is excellent writing. Your pitch is great and immediately enticed me to reading your prose. I read all three of your chapters and found myself completely immersed in your dark, emotive world. Bastion is particular stood out as a great character.
Backed with pleasure
Carl
the Time Hunters

Hard hitting and well written. Not my typical genre, but I can appreciate good writing when I see it, and this is it! You clearly put a lot of time into this and it's paid off, with this polished and great book.
Backed with pleasure,
Aimee

Beautiful cover, the pitch is great and sets the scene down for the story.The writing is very good with solid characters living in a credible world. well done.

Hi Aimee

Great opening chapters, lots of potential here. Happily backed..

Good luck
Cerys (Gabriel)

Aimee,

Wonderful read! Backed with pleasure,

January

One of the best vampire books on the site for structure and content, I think. Although it could still do with a bit of editing.
Great characterisation, just cut out the stage directions around the dialogue and you'll be on to a sure winner here.
Happily shelved for its genuine potential and readability.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Welcome aboard, Aimee. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch is brilliant. With the long pitch, also end it with a succinct question so it piques your reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

WORTH KILLING FOR
Why do good girls always go for bad boys? Or bad vampires as Lah does in this story? She’s a good character; she’s likable and sympathetic because she’s lost her best friend. Makes her a character a reader wants to follow to see if she can find happiness (and romance). Your dialogue is good; the fantasy aspect of this should attract young adult readers. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

So true! I went through my bad boy phase, and look what i got outta it? A broken heart but a good story. ^_^ I guess we all have to go through evil to find our angel's? ooh cliche! Thanks for the backing. :) I have also backed your story as it's quite an interesting idea of doctors trying to solve a crime!
Thanks very much!


Aimee

WORTH KILLING FOR
Why do good girls always go for bad boys? Or bad vampires as Lah does in this story? She’s a good character; she’s likable and sympathetic because she’s lost her best friend. Makes her a character a reader wants to follow to see if she can find happiness (and romance). Your dialogue is good; the fantasy aspect of this should attract young adult readers. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I don't know if the market is saturated yet with vampire stories, but if it isn't, this should be up there with the best of them. Backed. Lynn

Dear Aimee, I love Bastian, the angelic bartender most of all - may every male be like that. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

Hi everyone! I have uploaded chapter 3: Attraction and Anger!


Enjoy!



Aimee

Aimee, I did not read the whole thing but I read enough to know that you have many gems planted throughout. You have created an opening chapter that is both intriguing and cleaver
I am impressed with your level of writing; you certainly have a gift for descriptive writing
You are a great storyteller and I wish you all the best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

WOW! Thank you so much! ^_^


Aimee

Aimee, I did not read the whole thing but I read enough to know that you have many gems planted throughout. You have created an opening chapter that is both intriguing and cleaver
I am impressed with your level of writing; you certainly have a gift for descriptive writing
You are a great storyteller and I wish you all the best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

You could do a lot to tighten this up. For example, when the father replies sarcastically, the dialogue shows it's sarcastic. You don't need to add on that he replied sarcastically. The tone will be implied by the words. Let the dialogue speak for itself.

Also, your dialogue punctuation and capitalization needs work. (Mine was the same when I started writing) This may help:
http://rebecca-hamilton.com/?p=14

Overall you have a good story here. Just needs some polish :) Good luck with it!

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Thanks very much! I am currently on a writing course which is coming to a close. Unfortunately, hoping to get a little help from my lecturer about my stories instead she told me to leave them alone until the course is finished. So i have paused all my editing! :S Which I don't like because I miss Lynikan city and all the characters in it. I will edit this up over summer so i hope have some updates soon!

Thank you so much for your lovely comments!


Aimes

You could do a lot to tighten this up. For example, when the father replies sarcastically, the dialogue shows it's sarcastic. You don't need to add on that he replied sarcastically. The tone will be implied by the words. Let the dialogue speak for itself.

Also, your dialogue punctuation and capitalization needs work. (Mine was the same when I started writing) This may help:
http://rebecca-hamilton.com/?p=14

Overall you have a good story here. Just needs some polish :) Good luck with it!

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Aimee,

I am the author of Standalone Farm (sci fi/horror). Your synopsis is interesting. Would you care to do a book swap? i.e. we critique and possibly back each others?

Paul Samuel

Hi Aimee,

We fans of the fanged have to stick together on here, so I'm proud to be your first commentator!

I like your cover btw - lovely colours - very gothic.

The first thing I thought was that your first chapter is way too long. Potential readers are sometimes put off by that and you could lose some impetus as well. You could almost cut the first chapter in half - it would work well as two chapters, providing you chose a place with a good 'hook' to end the first. (Which I'm sure you can!)

The second line could lose the colon I feel, as it doesn't scan too well . . . perhaps . . . ' Iah Aldae stared out of the window, looking at the silent street. Glancing up at the sky, she saw nothing but clouds that held the stars captive'.

There are a lot of sentences starting with 'she' in the first paragraph too, it's an easy thing to do (I do it myself sometimes), but you can lengthen your sentences to avoid that and make the whole thing flow better. You need to capture your readers with your first paragraph, it's really important. (I've rewritten mine so many times I can't tell you!)

I like the idea of Iah hating mobile phones and the fact that there's a reason . . . you could make more of that . . .

Elena trying to fix her makeup in order to not look so pale is a nice touch. Made me smile.

Interestingly, for me, the story gets better with Bastian's section, not just because we're in the nightclub and I'm expecting something to happen, but because the sentences are longer, stronger and more confident.
I suspect these sections are the ones you really enjoyed writing and it shows through.

I like the story so far, it's fun and Bastian is a nice sexy hero, but I think you need to do some tweaking with the structure of your sentences and the punctuation. There's nothing that can't be fixed though, so don't worry. It's the idea that counts - and you have that!

Obviously this is only my opinion which you are welcome to ignore if you want to!

I'm keeping you on my watchlist for now, but I'd love to shelve your book when you've done some tweaks.
Give me a prod if you'd like me to read any updates.

Wishing you the very best of luck.

Berni x

Hey guys,

I look forward to any feedback (good or bad) i am always looking for help as to how I can inprove my skills.

Ta very much!

Amelea