LITTLE BASTARD

I like how your novel is book-ended to a six month period. I'm tempted sometime to write one over a three day period, like the old playwrights did.

Regards,
Rian Torr
New London Masquerade

Love the dialogue and pace of this book. Have put it on my watchlist.

I have added your book to my watchlist and highly rated. Could you please check out Solian Chronicles: Pluto Genesis when you get a chance? It is a great book.

Good job. The dialogue and description really hook the reader. Jason is loathsome and I love the way you've depicted the boys relationship. The younger boy, though clearly in fear of him, admires his fierce brother.
Grammar is great, writing really smooth. There was one place where you have him light a cigarette and its dangling from his lower lip at a jaunty angle. Since you already told us it would be like James Dean, you don't need to tell us how again, just have it dangling from his lower lip. Also, cannabalise should be cannabalize.
Good luck with your writing,
Janet
The Milche Bride
Clarissa's Kitchen

Led to "Little Bastard" by your high TSR, Simon, I thought I should glance at the novel--and couldn't stop reading. Absolutely compelling! Your opening scene is a masterpiece, a hook in its entirety, especially to a reader who played in big bands and followed much of the music (and noise) that followed. Big Brother's incredible story is great character drawing, and the writing is deceptively seductive. Whether or not your readers remember James Dean, his car has a second life in your prose.

Though you mention your infrequency here, I hope you'll find time for my novel "The Doctor of Summitville." It's much different from yours in style and theme, but writing is writing. I hope you'll find merit in mine as I see the talent in yours. In any case, "Little Bastard" will soon find its way to my shelf.

Best regards, Bill

Little Bastard

Simon,

I love your story and read all that you uploaded. This is well written and should have little problem flying up the ranks with your Spotter rating. There are so many books on this site, it is easy for a book to stay lost.

A few things pulled me from the story. There is little need to repeat a phrase or description in its entirety more than once, readers are intelligent enough to figure it out. The fish tank explanations feels a bit long and contrived with over the top vocabulary for his age. Don't get me wrong, I read Moby Dick at nine, but it did pull me from the book. All in all, impressive work and, boy is he going to wish he picked up those Risk (fantastic game) pieces, lol.

This is awesome! I don't know why this has a red arrow. Well crafted and so easy to picture the characters that I can already see a top film here! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

Simon:

I think you have an excellent feel for pacing, and your dialogue and descriptions are rich. I feel like I'm in the room with these two in the opening scene. Your book title and cover are interesting, too (and part of the reason I decided to check out your work in the first place). Also, I like that you've chosen to pinpoint a short, specific period of time in these brothers' lives as the backdrop to this story rather than trying to capture the story of their relationship over the course of their entire lives.

I have one suggestion, though: In your pitch, consider taking out the last bit that tells the reader about the bitter confrontation the two will come to. Personally, I like to find out from reading the story itself where a tale is headed (and hopefully be surprised) rather than knowing up front. Of course, I've never been one of those people who opens up a book and reads the last page, either.... I enjoy the journey. : )

Your text is clean and easy to read, and I found myself getting immersed in the story. Therefore, I'm happy to back you.

~Amanda
Burns Like the Sun

I remember this time, and you've found just the right voice for it. Strong characters and solid writing. Happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

Loved th pitch, read the rest and it doesnt dissapoint. Great idea brought to life. Backed - Clair

A great beginning to the story, with tensions simmering between the brothers. The time and place are firmly established with the cultural references and even more, you pull us into this time through the dialogue too. I love the backstory of James Dean and the car crashes, and how both brothers identify with someone different. There is a building here, like you are laying the foundation in these first chapters, for a house that will come crashing down---it has that feel to it. Very well done.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

What a great idea for a story. Loved your pitch and your prose is eminently accessible and captures the seventies (I can just about remember them) with authenticity and raw honesty. I've read four chapters and can't really find anything to nitpick. The brothers are each fully realised and there is humour and emotion to keep us turning the page. Great stuff. Give me Marc over Gene Vincent anyday.
Backed with space hopping joy.
Carl
The Time Hunters

James Dean's car . . . a very well written tale, backed. If you got the time, please look at Gold and Horses by Lenny Harry.

Simon great stuff, I was hooked on the James dean story and wondering if it were true. This is so well written a bit of nostalga and a bit of sibling rivalry. This has a likable quirkyness about it. Excellent Backed with pleasure.
Sue Knowing Liam Riley

Simon,

This is excellent work. There's an edge of nostalgia to all this, but above all else it's the stunning realism that's got me by the throat. I feel as if I'm within the story, and dragging myself out to leave a comment was a hardship.

Beautifully written and backed with pleasure.

Abi xxx

You are so fantastiac, Simon. :) How can I thank you enough for backing my 2 books? I came to your "comment" so that your book will move up the chart. :) I will also put your book on my "watchlist" again. :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Simon, I love that you did italic writing at the beginning of each chapter - that really added to your book. :) You prepared me to read your book with your excellent hook before your story. It is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version, "Tell Me True Love Stories" which at the end tells my illness now/6th abusive marriage I'm in now. Thanks, Susie :)

Fantastic, you've breathed life into faint childhood memories. Wonderful writing.

Enjoying your book so far. Backed!

Greetings, Simon!

Nice job scripting Little Bastard! Your manuscript is professionally formatted, and I dig the artists retro-fitted into the modern storyline! Get it on... ! Backed!

Teric Darken

(K - I - L - L FM 100: "Music to Die For!")

Simon -

Love the title. Not many people are aware that those words were painted on the back of Dean's Porsche .

Happy to back Little Bastard.

Best of luck here, and I would love it if you could take a look at my book.

Thanks.

- Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

How I do love to read something that's actually different, particularly when it's as well executed as this. Good luck with it! (By the way, I love the title.)

I read some chapters of your book, Little Bastard - I must say it is well written although i much preferred the parts about James Dean - you should try writing biographies - goodluck and thanks for your support !

Confession: I actually remember 1977. I remember Glam Rock and Punk, and I think I may once have had a poster of Marc Bolan on my wall. Oh, you conjure this period so very well (I lived in England a little after this is set). Even more vividly do you conjure the feud between these brothers. Robin's made vulnerable by his sensitive nature, and more prosaically by being so much younger than Jason. You show us Jason very effectively through Robin's eyes: somewhere in there is the big brother he loves, who can be fun, but who's scarily unpredictable (even Cherry seems to be finding him hard to deal with at times). There's a wonderful, brooding sense of tragedy looming over this family. *Very* effective writing.

Shelved.

Everyone who has a brother knows how easy it is for brothers to become rivals. This is a good story because here, a rivalry becomes so extreme it leads to death. A strength of this book is your writing style It's clear and always moves the story forward. Well done. Backed. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Your book has a great storyline which you portray well. I wish you the very best of luck with it. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'

Your book goes on my W/L I Iiked the pitch and the comments so good luck and try to have a look at my books - thankyou!

Backed. Dear Simon I read most the books to learn from it as my English is very poor - and i must say yours is the best. I enjoyed reading it and i back it with pleasure.

shah

I like that you're tying the brothers together using the untimely deaths of their heroes.

Backed on the pitch. The writing in the first couple chapters matches as well.
Excellent!

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

This is extremely well-written. I’m not familiar with the 70s and especially 1970s in Great Britain and still you’ve managed to create that sense of atmosphere, that sense of place that grounded me in the story.

I’ve read the first three chapters, and this novel is definitely character-driven, with the two brothers – polar opposites of each other – and their complex turbulent relationship forming the perfect centrepoint. Your characterization skills are awesome. You create Jason with his volatile temper, mood swings and a sense of uncertainty, so that the reader doesn’t know exactly what he’s capable of. Writing from Robin’s POV, you paint him mostly through his reactions to Jason, to his mother, to Cherry. Though Jason is nasty to him, I didn’t feel any hate in Robin, not yet anyway. As he says himself, he’s grown used to it. I liked the James Dean sequences at the beginning of the chapters. The one at the beginning of chapter 3 made me wonder whether something is going to happen Robin’s mother (especially since you’ve mentioned how protective he is over her), if that would fuel the conflict between two brothers.

I’ve read three chapters and there was only one thing that jarred me (I’m sorry if someone already mentioned it): “I put my hands on top of his hands on top of my head…”. You could just say “I put my hands on top of his…” It will be obvious what you’re talking about from the context.

All in all, this is a very well-written novel with an interesting backstory/sidestory (Dean and Bolan) and a tense conflict between the two brothers that keeps the reader wondering.

Already backed,
Ana G. Ram (Snowflake)

I’ve been on this site for 40 something days and I’m finding myself commenting less each day. It’s not that I’m reading less. It’s that I have less to add. The grammarians plow through and punctuate their points without grace or kindness. And the movers come through and they go through the motions and write their rote. So, I find myself sitting silent and clicking to back the book and then I backspace and start reading something new.

In my 40 odd days, I’ve encountered about 25 novels that have genuine merit. I’ve encountered less than 10 that engaged me and changed the way I saw my world.

I was 14 years old in 1977. I know these people. I watched my buddy balance his ashtray (it wasn’t for cigarettes - it was the 70s) on his chest while one hand took a toke and one had cradled his head. And we talked about everything and nothing and anything. I’ve been the younger brother; I’ve been the older brother. I’ve been the one who booted ass; I’ve been the one wearing the shoe print.

And you’ve written it all.

There is a difference between evocation, invocation, memorabilia, and remembrances.

And you’ve written it all.

Your words are joyfilled because they provide an echo of my passed. Your words are melancholy because they provide a remembrance of my sins. Your prose is praiseworthy because you've written it well.

You’ve written the truth in the middle of fiction. And you did it will style and a gracefilled pace.

I will buy your book.

Mark R. Trost
“Post Marked.”

What a fascinating lot of characters! I hadn't thought this would be my thing, but after finishing chapter 3, I see I was wrong. I love Robin's personality. The pleasing boy listening to big bro, the true-to-life teen who takes care of mom, the "perv" peeking at the gusset ... you've caught all of him. And tying it all in with JD's car is a beautiful stroke of artistry. Excellent book.
backed
- Genevieve

Your pitch is both clever and very good. I was advised in my own comments that a publishing agent advised never start with dialogue, like starting a play with the curtains shut, don’t know if it’s true (I revised just in case). You reference sounds in the story, however you do not use a lot of auditory description other then in the dialogue, wonder if you’re missing a trick here. This is a great plot, sensed the grittiness and brilliantly told, putting on the watch list to read some more – very good

James Dean's cursed car. A Porsche Spyder, wasn't it? "Little Bastard." Was that the car's name?

You introduce an air of menace with Jason well. I'm scared of his temper and that ashtray. (I was a bit of a punk in 1977 but all my mates were bikers. But I was a shit fighter so I just sort of sneered a lot).

Big brothers are bastards, aren't they? I know, I was one.

Street parties. God. In 1977 I was 18. Johnny Rotten summed up my attitude to the Jubilee. Although we did get an extra holiday. I don't remember any street parties at all, but there probably were loads. i would have been pissed up somewhere else. A pub, probably.

See how evocative this all is?

Anyway...Jason's gone to get Cherry. Wonder if that's important?

My mate's still got a Moto Guzzi. He doesn't ride it much (he's got a Jap bike too) but he is ALWAYS fixing it or doing it up.

I think the fish tank qualifies as a digression. Unless it is important later.

I'll have to remember that about Sarson's and bacon.

This is another triumph for Authonomy, I think. Wasn't sure about the fish tank, but it didn't stop me reading, I was just impatient to get back to the story. Specifically to the love/hate with the psycho older brother. Mostly fear and hate.

I am sure that you have a winner here, and I suspect you will have a winner whatever you write next too.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

A dead screen idol, who had an obsession with death, is juxtaposed with a mean, nineteen-year-old, violent bully, who idolizes him. Thirteen-year-old Robin is Jason’s younger brother, and his victim. Robin wants both to belong, and to be left alone. He envies the peaceful lives of his tropical fish; his sanctuary from violence is watching the bubbles disperse in his fish tank. Robin’s mother is weak, and offers no protection. This is a vivid portrayal of a family where a psychopathic teenager sets the rules. Backed with pleasure, Jacqui Christensen (William’s Revenge)

I'd heard the story of James Dean's car and it's always fascinated me - the apparent power of inanimate objects to produce fate, the latent possibility of a curse residing in everything we touch. This is fine storytelling. Immediate tension and conflict. Chapter one contains the bones of the story as it should and chapter two keeps us rivetted. Great stuff.

Simon, I enjoyed your first chapter. Great narrative and dialogue. Nothing to nitpick there.

Sincerely backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Backed. I like how the story opens and relationship between brothers. My story also takes place in the 70's so I was interested to take a look.
D.

Loved this. It's surprisingly tender, and having a brother AND growing up in the 70s it rang true to me. So far any publisher would be lucky to have it. Great cover too!


Darren Floyd
Match Day

Cracking period piece...it's difficult to evoke the recent past in words, you do it effortlessly!
Backed.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.

Hi Simon, This is really good stuff. I was a child in the 70s and after reading this I was able to instantly associate with the characters. I know brothers of friends who were into rock and roll, and friends who were into punk. I thought of Quadrophenia by The Who, for some reason too. Many images came flooding back. It is witty and well thought out. I will for sure come back to this later. All the best, gerry

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Little Bastard is very unique and clearly intriguing. This is quite a departure from what I usually read on this site, but I'm genuinely impressed.

-j

Simon, what a unique and intriguing premise. Jason and Robin are very well fleshed-out, as well as engaging. Your voice is witty and snappy. This should be ranked higher than it is. Best of luck. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"
T

Jason's bruising encounters with the local Punks would, I imagine, have left a little more than bruises, courtesy of the 'chains, fence posts and bottles' but the general picture here is well evoked with a judicious choice of detail.

The elder brother's attitudes and behavior rather suggest the dangers of hero worship when, perhaps the 'heroes' are not entirely the most sensible people to worship, but then I'm sounding like a parent.

As a younger brother, myself, and being painfully aware of sibling competition, I was able to have great empathy with Jason, even though I wouldn't be hurrying to invite him to dinner.

The opening dialogue definitely conveys the impression that Robin is somewhat cowed by the more assertive nature of his older brother and, in Robin's slight apprehension and acquiescence, I feel what you mean in your synopsis; about his being more 'introverted'. I identify with him much more, for his relative sensitivity.

Your character attributions [eg, Jason narrowed his eyes and continued...] are neatly - and I should say aptly - interwoven between dialogue and genuinely lend immediacy and involvement for the reader.

As Jason expands on the fate of the Little Bastard car, I'm reminded of Stephen King's Christine - as you know, made into a film.

For the first two thirds of your opening chapter, I was mainly focused on the acuity of your character observation and asking myself why a brother who can throw an ashtray at his younger brother and treat him slightly like a boxer's punch bag to sharpen his sense of sibling supremacy, should also be almost warm and confessorial when getting carried away with his explanation of Little Bastard's fate.

In the final third of the chapter, for me, the focus changed - agreeably - towards a subtle sense of eerieness; almost a magical quality to the car or its owners.

You have a very confident and eminently readable rhythm to your prose and, in general, it is certainly more literary fiction than pure fiction and all that the latter entails. This is probably why I liked your characterisation; the test of its success being its ability to make me FEEL the vibes between your brothers and that, I did. Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

There are so many things I liked about this. Your sense of time and place are wonderful. Your characters are well drawn, the dialogue sharp. I particularly like the James Dean 'memory' sequences and their unique emotional insights. Shelved.

Sessha

I like it a lot. It's fast paced and well written - evocative of the era. I've enjoyed the music references, too. The dialogue is realistic and faultless. BACKED with pleasure, Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Hi SImon, I have read the first chapter and added it to my WL. I will comment more after it gets onto my shelf. I place all books on my shelf whilst I read a few chapters. If you do the same with mine it would be great, but don't feel obligated to do so. I was a young kid during the period described in your novel and it will be interesting to see if your memories are similar to mine. As for the first chapter, it does what it should do. It engages the reader immediately and leaves him wanting to read more. Unfortunately for me, I am just off to work, so I will wait until later. I'll get back to you soon. maybe a week or so and your book will be shelved around that time. Good luck with this. Gerry

Simon: This is good, no good is not right. This is really good. My kind of reading. The story pulls you in and hits the ground running. Thanks for this - restores my faith in writers. Bon chance, Cynthia Drew, author, Tabernacle

A brilliant read, in every single way with characters totally believable. The relationship between the two brothers reminds me of that of my own two brothers. It gives insight into an unbalanced mind of a bully. Showing the vulnerability of his brother. The structure is perfect and the pace as not a word is unecessary. The pitch makes me want to read the book. Without a doubt this is excellent and I hope it goes far.
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

A brilliant read, in every single way with characters totally believable. The relationship between the two brothers reminds me of that of my own two brothers. It gives insight into an unbalanced mind of a bully. Showing the vulnerability of his brother. The structure is perfect and the pace as not a word is unecessary. The pitch makes me want to read the book. Without a doubt this is excellent and I hope it goes far.
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed