Donkeys Kill More People

I read ch 1, 2,3, and 32.

This has a nice, easy feel to the narration. Like a good character driven novel, it depends not so much on plot action but rather exposition of the personalities of which you write. Ch 2 is a great example. Two guys in a bar talking about nothing in particular, but it was the conversation that takes you through. I particularly enjoyed the hurricane conversation, as it is familiar to me living on the Texas Gulf Coast. After Ike, every bar I went to had a bunch of characters rattling off their horror stories of the storm.

The dialogue has witty banter, a rhyme and a beat all its own. Your confident in your writing like your MC is confident and acceptable of his boredom and situation. I like reads that develop characters instead of pushing 2D characters through a commercially driven plot.

I would suggest running a find and replace for 'that' and 'had.' There are several sentences in which they appear it would be possible to eliminate them and the sentence would be just fine. This will serve to tighten up the narrative a bit and not lose the great bounce it has going down the road.

I notice this was first uploaded in march 2009, but this is the first time I'm reading it. Don't know if the addition in October was merely to add further chapters or to update the chapters already there. I read up to chapter 6 and was wondering how this book had so far evaded the ed's desk. It's very solid work. Great narrative, excellently narrated by the MC. I agree that he sounded more American than English, so has obviously adjusted well to Chicago. Nice opening with the fly, showing the abject boredom and isolation of the MC, maybe he relates to the fly and wishes he too could escape. Misery loves company. From those 6 chapters this is a very clever book and should find itself higher than it's current position of 39. That should improve once i back it though. On my shelf.

Ed,

This is fantastic stuff, an absolutely fascinating insight into the mindset of someone embittered, unlikeable yet sympathetic. As a standard rule I'd normally advise against backstory and expositionary details before we get the main plot underway, but here it just works. This is for a number of reasons: first, your writing style is so smooth and assured, it was a pleasure to simply skip from word to word. Second, you have a cracking sense of dry humour that is right up my alley. I hear a lot of talk about books, on this site or otherwise, that are allegedly 'hilarious' yet bearly make me raise a snigger. This, though, had me laughing properly aloud on at least three occasions.

The relationship between Tom (great name for a protagonist by the way!) and his father is spot on: realistic, full of dimensions and already building up a multi-faceted history.

As I said, I'm yet to get into the bulk of the story, but I can tell this is shaping up to be something very special. Shelved of course, with my full recommendation. Fantastic.

PeeJay

Hiya Ed,
Yeah I've finally gotten around to reading your book too. You've got a way of turning the ordinary into something surreal and almost fantastic. I loved the introverted nature of your character Tom, I can relate to his inner musings and the little secrets he keeps from the world around him. This reads like a road trip novel, very reminiscent of the Beat writers of the 50s?
I think even the first ten chapters although it takes a while to get to the first plot point were also entertaining, you can watch this guy bumble his way through different situations and sympathise with his plight. Great work and I think it will go far once it's complete. Will put it on my bookshelf, once I've made room for it!
Thanks for sharing your talent.
Cheers,
Alastair

Hello Ed. I finally got around to the reading! I can definitely relate to the bit you wrote about thinking up a story based on someone else's seed. Sometimes we hear ideas that we think would make great stories, but despite their potential, there's that tiny taint of it being someone else's idea. I guess it's like that old saying, everything that can be written has been written. All variations on a theme. We get our ideas wherever we get them, but the stories are our own. Nice to read about a character who is a writer feeling that particular dilemma.

I enjoyed the sense of travel and exploration, not so much of places but of people in different places. How we change when we travel too is something I got out of your book. The mc is real. He had issues with his father, he feels unsure of himself at times, he gets something out of every conversation. Your ability to write on a varied number of exotic topics takes the reader on the trip with Tom. The tales related to him are so unique they stand out compared to average short stories worked into broader stories, such as how Giuseppe got that burn on his arm, or how one man lost everything to a hurricane. It's a widely-enveloping look at the interesting lives of average people spanning the range from tragic to humourous, mundane to extraordinary. A fascinating read into the human condition. Considered, pondered, shelved.

As your MC reflects on his boredom we are not distracted from it or perturbed by it, we see it as a reflection on passing time. The stupidity of the guy talking about Crane flies is another example. Your observations are spot on, your writing gifted. The mere fact that we read these muses and except them demonstrates that.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look.

Dear Ed
this book cover is so captivating to me, and i feel sure when this book is in the book stores, and i know it will be, not many willbe able to pass by and let it go. then comes your pitch which sells your book and it should. I started to read this some time ago and became engrossed in its story. You kept me reading and sorry to say you have not put more up on site. I have finished now ( had many more to read in between) and Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT
if you have already backed my book thank you so much, if not would you find the time, if not that is OK also
the VERY best of luck
Denise
The Letter

DONKEYS KILL MORE PEOPLE by Ed Quinn.

Ed - Quality writing of the very best standard not only in the first Chapter - an exquisite description of reflective boredom - but consistent quality is maintained throughout the 34 Chapters posted. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

What an excellent voice! I wouldn't have thought by the genre I'd enjoy this, but it was fantastic. It's clever and fun. The voice is strong but not overbearing, and the character is one I could easily follow through an entire novel--someone I want to spend time with. The writing is crisp and simple but not bland or basic. Beautifully balanced and a pleasure to back.

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

I hope this was meant to be sarcastically witty with a tinge of dark humor, for if it wasn't, my reading of it was way off (LOL). A quite enjoyable read.

Backed and good luck
Natalie

You give the reader a great feel for the MC with his cynical, hard-boiled wit and commentary. This feels like a period piece to me, because the classic journalist is pretty much a thing of the past now (former newspaperman myself.) Anyway, letting the reader into the mind of the narrator is important in first person, and you've succeeded. The other thing about first-person is the word "I" can dominate, and that happens here at times. Hard to get around, but it can be done. This is unique to the various manuscripts I've read here, and I can see why it's doing well. Happy to back it for you.
Craig
The Job

14 May 2010
08:49
Donkeys Kill More People has a different pace from most other works on the site - it is the optimum flow for an anecdotal, and at times wry, exposition. The voice speaks to the reader directly and somehow includes him in the telling. There is no gut wrenching laugh out loud humour but it is witty, pithy and entertaining. Over time I have made many 'L' shaped nails myself and can relate to the narrator in this and other respects. There are clever puns and near the knuckle, adult, but not offensive, jokes. In short a most enjoyable read. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

This is funny..made me laugh outloud. Well done and backed.

At first I thought this was going to be something like a Bill Bryson travel book - there are touches of humour and it comes over much more like non-fiction than fiction (or at least in the first 5 chapters) - this is testament to your skill at constructing a believable character: the first person voice works particularly well in this context.
I think the premise is a winner and your laid-back, easy-going style makes this a remarkably easy read.
I'm backing this and wishing you all the very best.

Kirsty

Humourous start, but I found the writing a little messy. You skip between past and present tense which was a little jarring (I find I'm curious... I notice these things... You leave... It's still..). Made it a very unsmooth read at the beginning and it kept popping up.

A whole chapter about a man watchinga fly isn't exactly gripping. it's well written and has amusing moments, but I'd have to say it didn't capture my imagination.

Chapter two is also quite slow. You spend a lot of detail on fairly mundane details, which would be fine if his thoughts bilt to a point, but I would assume that would defeat the object of what you're trying to get across. I can only give you a personal opinion, but i didn't find his views and day to day observations to be interesting or engaging enough to want to keep reading.

Possibly things get going later, but if I picked this up in a shop or library I don't think I'd get any further than where I did (I read the first two chapters).

The writing is good and the main character likeable, but the narrative was too flat. I could certainly relate to him but i didn't particularly want to read about him. A matter of taste though. Best of luck with it.

Unique premise, nice writing style. Backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

Dear ED
Your book inspires and threads a fine path. It is stimulating and provocative in content. Your style of writing is unique and offers up a treat. It was indeed a pleasure to read it.
Backed
The Lord of the Dawn. Beyond 2012.

Strange title but then as i started to read i realised this is good. Nice style and well written - thats the reason why we feel worth the backing - andy and vesna

It's your title that grabbed me first - it's wacky and you want to know what this could possibly be about. And your opening is terrific - get an immediate sense of your character. Well done.
Grateful if you'd take a peak at Light Between Shadows.
Best,
Tricia

Adorable. Simply adorabed.

Sincerly

Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

I read the first two chapters. Off to a good start. Backed with pleasure. LIsa

Than what? What do Dinkeys kill more people than? Anyway, it's still a great title and I thoroughly enjoyed your prose - slick, dynamic and very readable. Infact, I think it's your accessible writing that I most admire as you are dealing with some complex emotional issues. Oh, and excellent use of first person. Happy to support this
Carl
The Time Hunters

This is a great first chapter. Your narrative voice is easy to read and flows with amusement and intrigue. I found no nit picks at all, it's very professionally written.
Backed
Aimee

This is a thought provoking story, well told by your colloquial story telling style. The dialogue is fresh and the bits of humor add a nice balance to some of the poignent moments. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

There's something incredibly refreshing about the natural monologuing style of this story. You make it interesting and human without being dull, and the dialogue adds to that realism. Occasional flutters of wry humour add spice, and what you've ended up with is a fantastic piece to while away a day.

Backed.
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules are made to be broken." - Relic

This is a good story. The mark of it is your writing style. You've created a complex character in Tom. Added not a lot of action but a lot of good dialogue that carries the story forward. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Well-written. Very nice rhythm to this writing, it is easy to keep reading; this story unfolds as naturally as a morning glory. Backed on first two chapters and chapter 34.
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Written in the form of a master storyteller in terms of motivation to capture a reader to read onward. The fly within the introduction is introduced, put aside, and later mentioned to bring readers into fine details that might be encountered again. The presentation of thoughts expressed in unusual sentence constructions adds great interest, for example-"The paint in dire need of some walls.." The storyline is wonderful, but additional "visual descriptions" of characters, when introduced, might quiet a reader's quest to "see" characters--"Alex being the basis for this suggestion. Well written. Thanks for sharing. Backed Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

How did this not get to trhe ED - it is so well written and hysterical, fast paced and so full of realism- we don't need vampires or demons, just Tom and his thought son life suffice to keep us going! I would buy this book and not be disappointed so far! BACKED and will be back to read more - I think I might have a little crush on Tom! ;)

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi Ed. This is just wonderful stuff. It means nothing but it means everything and back again. The internal dialogue is brilliant and reminds me of some of Charles Bukovsky's stuff. Really enjoyed it. The conversation about hurricanes was really entertaining and funny, a little sliver of knowledge, fun and world-weary wisdom goes a long way with me.
Your style of writing is just like the way I sometimes tell people how to try to write (if they're foolish enough to ask me): 'Write as if you're talking to someone in a bar' - not very scientific or academic, I know, but that's the feel of yours, it's up close and personal! BACKED Chris1

Tom is a sympathetic character. You've used your refined narrative to flesh him out well. He's real, vulnerable and fascinating. He's also thoughtful and wise. Your descriptions are imaginative. Your dialogue is lively and witty. Your humor is spot on for my tastes. The pacing is solid. Backed.

The perspective you create from your very first sentence is wow, Loved the almost surreal world you created. This could be one of then I read all the way through!

Famlavan – Museum of Old Beliefs

Hi Ed, i cruised through 1 and 18. Your narration is conversational and MC lol funny and very likeable - approachable// because you asked for comments/crit, here goes: pitch, there's maybe too many 'Tom' how about 'leads to him journeying' and second last para was hard to read...// '85th time' - alienated me because i couldn't imagine keeping count for that long???? - have you considered starting with the second para?// 'had' and in 18 'which' are words an editor will usually cut eg: 'had been' vs 'was well preserved' 'was bored' // 'which'/flowing // maybe cut the 'i tried the toast' because you show it - 'diff..' // 'unpolished' 'red nails' - are they bleeding??// love 'practice smile' and lol Stigmata excursions' // and your dialogue is cruisey - consistent with MC's relaxed manner// basically, this is a wonderful story with loads of interesting sides-flavours-sub stories that are fascinating and i wish you all the best for publishing success, Monique Grbec (The Male Influence)

Realistic and written with wit and excellent observation. Enjoyable work.

Hi Ed,

I backed Donkeys a while ago and was hoping that you might take a look at Savant. I don’t offer comments, but I’m happy to message my thoughts to you, if invited.

Best of luck,

Jesse - Savant

This is very well written
Great imagery and a compelling plot
I think that you make some very good choices
Very well done
I wish you the best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

You write with clarity, insight and understanding of human nature. Your characters are subtle and therefore believable. A gentle read but hypnotic. Jim D Serpent's Blood

Hi Ed, I like the first chapter. The crane fly seems to be a metaphor for the protagonists life. You have a sense of humour as well. Most importantly, you have a voice. Well done. I'll keep reading this one. Best, Sana

Ed, I've looked at your humorous first chapter. Great read. Smooth writing. The first paragraph of any opening chapter is heavily scrutinized, and I'd make a minor change to your second sentence, first para. The word "it" is repeated in close proximity. I'd rewrite as: [...opened the window and let it out, but decided not to.]

Happy to shelve this.

Regards,

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Ed,
You do an excellent job of writing real situations. Even the mundane things in life seem necessary to the story the way you write it.
Like:
The fly in ch1 is a good description of what people resort to when boredom takes over.
A situation from my past that came to mind was : I heard about a man who was in hospital and counted the brinks on the wall outside his window.
Another mundane thing that evokes realism for me:
Who hasn’t broken a pair of sunglasses like your MC in ch2.

Something many of us new writers are guilty of is excess words:
Late in ch2 when getting back in the car after shopping, the radio in the car was on the same station as when it was left. Unless there is something to indicate people are breaking into cars to change radio stations, the reader can assume this.

He sounded like a writer. The more I listened, the more convinced I became that he was [one]. ‘One’ is not needed.

Overall a good job,
On my shelf.
MickR – The Nightcrawler

Entertaining, enlightening and fascinating! Tweaked up it will be perfect! This will hit the ED's desk.

Sue Sohn
Fate's Chastening

Totally fascinating, different, funny and quite entertaining.

Backed
Sue Sohn

I like the dry, cynical wit that is running through this. The style is good as well, easy and flowing, drawing the reader along comfortably.
Good.

Ed,
You are the master of the mental meander. I actually enjoyed watching the MC watch a fly for the whole of the first chapter. Witty thoughts and images like "getting yesterday's weather" through a hole in the roof and praying to "Jesus the Carpenter" a lot as a result kept me going. It is no stretch at all to see how Tom gets from reporting on American spending habits to meeting survivors of plane crashes. Very skillful writing. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Your crane fly is a metaphor all right and you carry this off well. One second to get out, indeed.

The thing about first person in conversational mode is you have to have an engaging narrator. I think you carry that off well too. He's an archetypal down at heart near cynical journalist but never stereotypical.

Hope it's not too late to lend this my support.

On my random trips around Authonomy I found your book and decided to have a look at it.

I enjoyed it, a nice easy read the conversations are believable backed.

I remember years ago being told that there was nothing wrong with my writing, it just didn't have that something special about -- that "turn of the phrase". Well, that's what this author has. He could write about anything and we would enjoy it. I could sit and watch a fly all night with him and not care how long it takes him to get to the story. And yet the pitch does promise quite an adventure. And such a memorable and unique title. I'd definitely buy this book. Top drawer.

Enjoyable read. The writing is lucid and crisp and the dry humour and observations brilliant.
Best,
nans

Methodic character comes out.... waiting for the spark that sets his world alive. Lovely characterisation.
Everything works well. Everything just seems to tick along nicely. Vague? Maybe. But sometimes one just sits back, relaxes into a good read, then comes out the other side a bit richer. This happened to me.

BACKED

Chapter 1

Hey, Ed. I like the voice. It's hard to quantify that statement, but there you have it. I also admire the trick of weaving contemplative backstory into a narrative while never losing sight of the action. In this case, the 'action' is simply a guy watching a fly, but it's effective. Well done.

Cheers


John

The male answer to "Eat, Pray, Love" and just as engaging and readable. Lots of dry wit and male banter, just the thing to take on your next airplane trip. Best of luck with this.
Ruth
Amsterdam 2012

Dear Ed Quinn,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I skipped to chapter seventeen to cover new ground. The idea of shifting hat consciousness with continental travel is quirky and fun. You have an easy-going writing style of simple sentences that reminds me of Hemingway. You don’t allow verbiage to obstruct your protagonist’s vacation to Mexico, and I feel as relaxed reading your story as he must feel.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your story flow even better by taking some of the paragraph breaks in chapter eighteen and inserting them into chapter seventeen.

This small matter aside, I enjoyed your story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

An easy read to get involved in. Well done shelved of course.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

The title drew me in, your skillful narrative kept my attention, and my appreciation grew as I read five chapters chosen at random.
This work is backed with pleasure.