Book Jacket

 

rank 1842
word count 32251
date submitted 02.04.2009
date updated 25.04.2009
genres: Fiction, Romance, Fantasy, Popular ...
classification: moderate
incomplete

The Living and The Dead: The Awakening

*Amerynthe*

Life is simple, isn’t it? You’re born, you live, you die and that’s it. Isn’t it?
But for some, there’s more to life than death.

 

One full-time job, a part-time counselling practice, a house she can’t afford to live in herself, credit card bills that take every penny – these are the boundaries of Aimée Lincoln’s world. Intellectually she has dealt with the death of her mother seven years ago, but emotionally this is a wound she keeps well-hidden.

Into her counselling room one night comes Tyler, a man who claims to have been a friend of her mother’s. Client-counsellor boundaries break down quickly as Tyler becomes her guide and mentor in the world her mother had always kept hidden from her.

Only Tyler knows that Aimée is the last of a seven-generation line of psychics. Her father had planned to kill her as soon as she was born to absorb her power, but Tyler killed him before he could complete his blood ritual. And what neither Aimée nor Tyler knows is whether her mother’s death had been a freak accident, or an act of revenge.

Aimée knows that people are not always what they seem. Now she discovers that people are not always people. Tyler helps her accept the new reality and life will never be the same again. It will be better.

 
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tags

acceptance, denial, memories, new beginnings, realisation, reality, truth, urban fantasy

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EltopiaAuthor wrote 655 days ago

Wow. Talk about a hook. I would never choose to read a vampire novel. I t hought.

The author drew me in with such a realistic approach: an counselor meets an "interesting" client who eventually admits, "I am a vampire." She reacts as one would expect a psyhotherapeutical counselor to react.

Excellent writing, well written, tight, with tension, with a touch of suppressed sexuality and so on. Very good.

Backed

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

J.S.Watts wrote 471 days ago

This is a very easy, very enjoyable read. I like the matter of fact conversational tone. It reminds me (slightly) of the Sookie Stackhouse books.

The character of Aimee is likeable and convincing. Tyler comes a bit closer to cliche, but is still an interesting character.

I fell over a number of typos that you will want to edit out: e.g. "advertise-ments", "attempt rape me", "sur-prised", "men-tioned". You might also want to think about the number of times Aimee refers to her "issues " in the opening paragraphs and spread them out a bit more. Her references to her issues started to feel a little bit over-egged after a while.

Notwithstanding the above nits, this made me want to read on and on, so it really has something going for it as far as I am concerned.

I am a bit tight on shelf space at present, but I hope to shelve it sometime in the next couple of weeks.

J.S.Watts
A Darker Moon

JanB wrote 743 days ago

Wow, I was completely taken aback with this.
Its well written, really draws the reader into the tale and I found it completely immersing me.
I only read chapter one and I really wanted to read on.

I wish you the best of luck with this, it deserves to be a commercial success.

J.S.Watts wrote 471 days ago

This is a very easy, very enjoyable read. I like the matter of fact conversational tone. It reminds me (slightly) of the Sookie Stackhouse books.

The character of Aimee is likeable and convincing. Tyler comes a bit closer to cliche, but is still an interesting character.

I fell over a number of typos that you will want to edit out: e.g. "advertise-ments", "attempt rape me", "sur-prised", "men-tioned". You might also want to think about the number of times Aimee refers to her "issues " in the opening paragraphs and spread them out a bit more. Her references to her issues started to feel a little bit over-egged after a while.

Notwithstanding the above nits, this made me want to read on and on, so it really has something going for it as far as I am concerned.

I am a bit tight on shelf space at present, but I hope to shelve it sometime in the next couple of weeks.

J.S.Watts
A Darker Moon

captin wow wrote 565 days ago

uh..huh..uh..huh.. spooky.. needs brain eating.. but over all... uh.. how can i put this in kinfd words..? oh yes.... great book! zombies are quite amazing arent they..well g ood book keep up the good work. friend :)

EltopiaAuthor wrote 655 days ago

Wow. Talk about a hook. I would never choose to read a vampire novel. I t hought.

The author drew me in with such a realistic approach: an counselor meets an "interesting" client who eventually admits, "I am a vampire." She reacts as one would expect a psyhotherapeutical counselor to react.

Excellent writing, well written, tight, with tension, with a touch of suppressed sexuality and so on. Very good.

Backed

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 700 days ago

I'll tell you what's so good about this work. It's written in first person in the form a talented storyteller employs to revit an audience to a story. Well done. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures & Literary Agent Blues) Backed

Mooderino wrote 705 days ago

You start off switching between past and present tense whichis a little jarring. You also use flashback which adds to the muddled feel of it. I would recommend being more consistent.

i wasn't too keen on the prevaricating thing, felt a bit contrived. This is a written piece so everyhting is premeditated by you, so acting like you've unintentionally digressed feels like an affectation, especially as you do it more than once.

you establish her working set up well, i think that all worked.

The vampire stuff is obviously very popular at the moment, and the confessional/interview apprpoach is also quite a familiar one. From the first couple of chapters nothing stands out as particularly original in your approach, although it is early days. The first few chapters are what agents/publishers will judge you on s if there are novel aspects to your take i would bring them in as early as possible.

When he makes writing appear on the wall she demands prrof and he then changes the colour of the walls. Neither seemed particularly vampirish abilities, nor that different to each other (the writing and the colour change both felt quite similar). That would be a good place to differentiate your story from all the others. How does he prove himself to her, preferably in a way that is memorable, surprising, and not interior design related?

The writing is good, flows well and easy to read, and she is an engaging protagonist. Backed.

Famlavan wrote 738 days ago

I think your characterisation in this is fantastic.
I very much like how you balance the gritty edginess with the romantic interest, it seams to intensify the storyline – Liked this a lot.

Linda Lou wrote 743 days ago

Hullo Amerynthe. You closed your first chapter with a line which urges the reader to continue. very good. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thank you for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

JanB wrote 743 days ago

Wow, I was completely taken aback with this.
Its well written, really draws the reader into the tale and I found it completely immersing me.
I only read chapter one and I really wanted to read on.

I wish you the best of luck with this, it deserves to be a commercial success.

A Knight wrote 745 days ago

First person narrative was an excellent choice for this piece, and your narrative is incredibly strong. It gives the reader a real sense of the novel as they begin to immerse themselves in this intriguing piece. The romance provides a softer edge to an otherwise edgy and fascinating tale, giving wonderful levels of contrast.

I think you've done a fantastic job of raising many pertinent and deep issues without sinking into melodrama, and I am pleased to add this to my shelf.

Backed.
Abi xxx

kwestion wrote 748 days ago

Aimees thoughts flows easily into your brain so you see the world through her eyes in this well written good story.

Putting it on my shelf right now.

K

David Fearnhead wrote 752 days ago

A solid pitch which promised a good gritty tale had me reading this. I like that you are an unfussy writer, it reads as a very focus narration, no time wasted, nothing cluttering up the story this is plot driven - perfect for your chosen genre. I liked the dialogue, quick direct and also to the point. That's probably why i found myself reading so much of this because its really driven and just pulls you along with it. A real pageturner!
Backed
David
Bailey of the Saints

richard thurston wrote 753 days ago

Hi Amerynthe - A superb read and although it took me a while to get fully engaged(short attention span!) the introduction of Tyler soon grabbed the mettle. Overall Aimee is both likeable and intriguing enough to get us really involved in her world. Backed with pleasure and the very best of luck.

Richard

richard thurston wrote 753 days ago

Hi Amerynthe- An intriguing first chapter and because I ignored the pitch unexpected. Superb writing in that from the outset I was compelled to read on.

richard thurston wrote 753 days ago

Hi Amerynthe- An intriguing first chapter and because I ignored the pitch unexpected. Superb writing in that from the outset I was compelled to read on.

richard thurston wrote 753 days ago

Hi Amerynthe- An intriguing first chapter and because I ignored the pitch unexpected. Superb writing in that from the outset I was compelled to read on.

AuthorTom wrote 754 days ago

Backed with confidence! Tom Ryerson (Carnal Wreckage)

Raymond Nickford wrote 754 days ago

The Living and the Dead: The Awakening -

Amerynthe,

The first person narration is conversational and makes the narrator accessible and likeable.
There is a candour to the observations made about her clients and Aimee become the more endearing because she has the magnanimity to acknowledge her own foibles - particularly when she can end up crying alongside a client. Thais may have been mildly 'unprofessional' but it was gutsy and made Aimee a more attractive personality than if she had been clinically efficient but an ice maiden.
I liked the natural and spontaneous dialogue while the sudden appearance of the issue of the gigolo was yet another revelation in what sometimes becomes akin to one of the classic 'confessionals' of literature - I'm thinking of Thomas De Quincey's 'Confessions of an Englis Opium Eater',

Backed,
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

yasmin esack wrote 755 days ago

Very nice indeed. Well written and grasping.
Love it!
Backed

Andrew Burans wrote 755 days ago

A well constructed and well written story, quite moving actually. Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development, especially of Aimee, is superb. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

zan wrote 756 days ago

The Living and The Dead: The Awakening
*Amerynthe*

I love your cover - very striking, and your pitches did a good job of creating suspense and making me want to read this. "Life is simple, isn’t it? You’re born, you live, you die and that’s it. Isn’t it? But for some, there’s more to life than death." Very good short pitch. And then, that part of your long pitch - "People are not always what they seem. People are not always people" really creeped me out! Some nice elements here to pique the reader's curiosity. I enjoyed chapter one and how you introduce your setting and characters. I am impressed by how your write actually. Like this sentence (among numerous others), "For such an extraordinary looking man, his story was disappointingly mundane." I would read this for the language alone - but you have an excellent plot too and I hope this goes very far. Well written, creative, dramatic, exciting.
Best,
Zan

carlashmore wrote 757 days ago

Ooooh, what a gripping pitch. Very commercial, very accessible. Aimee is a wonderful character, as is Tyler, but it's Aimee's situation that intrigued me. You write very fluently, with cracking dialogue and i found nothing to nitpick here. Congratulations and I hope to see this in the shops soon.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Dawn DeRemer wrote 760 days ago

This is a compelling vampire novel with a slightly different kind of intellectual look, due to a really well developed MC. There is an easy feel about this story, as if it's already a good friend. I can easily see this character generating sequels becuase the MC is someone the reader enjoys knowing about. Tyler is good too, but your MC really makes this book.
Job well done!
Dawn De Remer (Golden Moon)

Melcom wrote 771 days ago

This is a very engaging read, great pace and very, very well written IMHO. Aimee is an complex character with financial problems she needs to overcome.

Happily shelved

Good luck with it.

Melxx

Esrevinu wrote 773 days ago

Amerynthe, The rhythm is excellent and the writing compelling. Your descriptions are intelligent to say the least. I was as captivated at the end as I was when I read the first part of your wonderful book. I wish you the very best.
Best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Burgio wrote 782 days ago

This is a good story. Aimee is a likable and sympathetic character. How strange for her to suddenly discover she has powers she never recognized before. And the grief these powers may have caused her family. Your writing style is good; flowing and always pointing the story forward. Makes this an enjoyable read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

soutexmex wrote 820 days ago

BACKING you. I can use your comments on my book if you can spare the time. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

bonalibro wrote 821 days ago

You really shouldn't give up on this, it's a worthwhile effort, and you clearly put a lot of work into it.

It is very funny. The unqualified counselor trying to pay off her credit card bills because her regular job doesn't cover her debts. Physician heal thyself and all that. Maybe she has the chops maybe not. Who cares? The writing is tops.

Just signing on every few days to recycle the manuscript is enough to keep it moving forward. That and returning backings got me to 150 or so. After that it's work. I'm going to stick it on my shelf to give you some encouragement.

andyroo wrote 914 days ago

I'm going to be flatly honest here, and this is more of an exercise for me to get this out of my head and on to e-paper than a comment to you. I don't know why people enjoy books that mention or have rape in them. I don't know why people buy books that have sections of female abuse. I don't know - men fighting each other almost has a comic element to it in the sense of silly pride and whose better than who, but writing about a woman suffering with no means of defence - I don't know. Maybe that is a sexist view. I just find it is a common theme in more and more books these days and I find it to be... disturbing. It feels too real. I buy books to escape from reality, not to remind myself of it.
Anyway, with that off my chest, I can continue to the critiquing. The plot is, despite my moanings, a good one, and does not feature the horrible stuff any where near as much as other offerings on here and in the bookstores. Your writing seems smooth and economic, and is easy to sink into. I did spot an error though; 'attempt rape me.' Should be a 'to' in there. Good luck!

Andrew

Jane Alexander wrote 928 days ago

Oh this was a total surprise. I started reading and thought we were in standard chicklit territory. Then, whoah, totally wrong - this is much darker and, for my taste, much more appealing. I don't believe in coincidence either btw!
My feeling (and please, it's only that, I am no editor) is that you sell yourself short in the first few paragraphs. Far too much 'tell' going on and the tone feels wrong. The matey narrator, the 'let me tell you about my client' lines....they would work for chicklit but not for this. Then, we get into the counselling session with Tyler and the mood shifts totally and the writing feels far more assured and self-confident. THIS is your story. Tyler is intriguing and yet another gorgeous Authonomy vampire (I am going to have to decide on my allegiace - I am torn every which way right now!). The vampire bit really surprised me - wasn't expecting that at all. Trouble with vampires is that they are everywhere. Could he be some other kind of supernatural? Mind you, then we would lose the immortal (sorry) line: 'What does being a vampire mean to you?' Perfect counselor speak!

I really love this (just that pesky opening - always a problem, mine included)...
Very happy to back you.
Jane
WALKER

paxie wrote 953 days ago

Amery

I'm not really a Vampire lover....I can never remember who sucks and bites who.....But this started in an ordinary setting....In a scene that we can all relate to....no rushing around to hop back into the coffin before sunrise...(sorry if that comes later)......

I enjoyed your work....Just the right balance of narration vis a vis dialogue......And yes, I cringe to admit it, but, believable......

Best of luck....Backed.


B. J. Winters wrote 953 days ago

I read through chapter 3 and really enjoyed this. The openings and closings of each chapter is done well - smooth and making you want to turn the page. I particularly liked the opening to chapter 3 - it really set a tone to her personality. The dialogue was strong.

I had no idea vampires didn't like showers -- that mademe smile. Hope you are still working on this because I found it most entertaining. On my shelf for a bit.

Jo Ellis wrote 955 days ago

This is great, I was riveted to every word and would buy this....

I am hooked....

Backed with pleasure

Jo xx

Spoilt

Riva wrote 1000 days ago

Hi Amerinthe

It was lovely to meet you at Winchester and I’m sorry it has taken me so long to get to you. I think this is a really good story. Vampires are all the thing at the moment.

Aimee says at the beginning that she is wasting time telling us all the details and I think she is right. We don’t need to know everything about her right at the start. The best characters I always think are the ones we get to know gradually as all the secrets come out. I did like the way you dropped in the fact that she had only recently thought about counselling men again. That was intriguing and far better than if you had said. ‘I had a bad experience with a male client and so I was reluctant to take on men.’ If you did it all like that I think it would be better. For example, unless the previous client with the mother at the beginning is important, leave her out. Just drop in one phrase about Aimee’s mother to make us wonder.

Now that I’ve read quite a few chapters, I’m wondering if the ‘rapist’ incident is actually relevant. If it is important to the rest of the story then it’s necessary, otherwise why don’t you get rid of it. I’m also feeling that there is far too much mention of counselling and counsellors and registers etc. It feels far too mundane for this story.

The herbal tea is a great twist. Could you not say earlier that sometimes she wondered at her inability to feel things properly, or something like that? Does she feel that there is something wrong with her? Is that why she can’t seem to form a relationship with a man? Sorry if you did and I missed it, but then maybe you could make more of it because if I missed it then other readers might.

I hope this is helpful and once again, sorry to take so long but I wanted to give it all my attention.

Best of luck and I’m putting you on my shelf.

Riva

marion wrote 1007 days ago

An amazing tale. Tyler is an appealing character -even if he is a vampire... and Aimee is a thoroughly nice young woman faced with incredible problems... I enjoyed reading the smooth flowing prose and the believable dialogue I like the mystery now surrounding Vivien - her supervisor a very professionallly presented tale - good luck with this.

Steve Ward wrote 1007 days ago

Amerynthe,
Ooooo, those secrets are real page turners. This a great story and so well written. Love the opening where Aimee talks directly to the reader then to herself. And the interplay between Tyler and Aimee is alluring. I like everything about this story so no criticism. Very clever, those words no counselor wants to hear: I am a Vampire or even better I know your mother. This is magical and funny, a great read. Good luck with your project.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

hot lips wrote 1014 days ago

This is very well written, the tension builds and builds. I have no hesitation in backing this book.

matjackson wrote 1016 days ago

Hiya,

I really enjoyed this - not going to waffle - nothing to add, thank you. All the best MAT ( shelved)

adelapaz wrote 1024 days ago

I loved the interaction between the characters and it kept me interesting. I've shelved it with pleasure :)

adelapaz wrote 1024 days ago

In the second paragraph of the first chapter, where she talks about not being on the registry - sounds a bit awkward, I know what you're trying to say but I also know you could rewrite it to flow better :)

Like how you write about the credit cards in the next paragraph - good description without going over the top.

Other than that first awkward paragraph, the story shows great promise. I just finished reading the first chapter and moving on to the next one.

Freeman wrote 1027 days ago

I can see that you have a very chatty style and this is hard to get it right to make it stand out from the crowd. When I read the first few paragraphs I didn’t like it and carried on. Further on it settled down, not quite witty but with a bit of effort it easily could be. There are a lot of words and some information that don’t add value and slow down the pace. I think there are lots of very good parts that need space to breathe. Long paragraphs could be split.

The start is the most important part since first impressions count. My advice is to review the first few paragraphs, and remove anything that slows down the pace. I will try to come back and read some more later. Good luck.

Tony.

S. Park wrote 1027 days ago

This is utterly fascinating! Definitely getting a shelving.

TomW wrote 1028 days ago

Comments on Chapter 1...

First off, I like the idea you have here, and the voice of the main character is likeable, but perhaps a little self-indulgent? For me, some of the detail might be too much, and the character even tells us it's too much!

Ok, here's what I suggest. Go through EVERY line, especially in the expository sections, and ask yourself two questions.

1. Does this contain information important to plot and/or character?

2. Does it contain information the reader doesn't know or can't guess from inference?

If the answer is no to both questions, then consider deleting or pruning the offending material. The upshot is you will have a faster and clearer manuscript. I'd also carefully consider how much the narrator is trying to involve the reader in the story in artificial ways - for example the asking the reader questions. The problem you might find is the reader gives the wrong answer! In the aforementioned questions along the lines of "I'm going into too much detail, aren't I?", you don't want the reader thinking "Yes, you are" too fervently. If the story moves quickly, with only brief pauses for details or background that are important, then the reader will happily follow your story.

Quibble: make weak modifiers like "very" earn their place by using them sparingly. In the case wher you describe the client's looks, one would probably suffice.

Overall, I think it's a good start to a good idea, so I'll give it a run on my shelf.f

Regards,

TomW

zil wrote 1028 days ago

Hi Amerythe, finaly got around to reading this, and am glad i did! Absolutly fascinating, couldn't stop. Aimee is a charming woman who makes me feel that even ordinary people have secrets, secrets we don't even know we have. Vivian's questionable friendship and Tyler's anger all go to make this a gripping read. Thank you for sharing. There is defintley room on my shelf for this. x

Urania wrote 1029 days ago

A great angle on the vampire theme that's so popular at the moment. This is great writing and good plot. Can't add much to anyone else's comments except I thought the first chapter was too long. But it deserves a spin on the shelf.

Cas P wrote 1033 days ago

Hi Amerynthe.
It's rare that I come across something that impresses me as deeply as this. Aimee's voice is so clear, her thoughts so sharp, that it's easy to slip into her consciousness and see through her eyes. I can feel her sense of puzzlement over what she feels around Tyler and also empathise with the way she avoids dealing with her buried issues. Tyler is an instantly rounded character almost as soon as he walks through her door and I have no idea how you did that! Apart from thinking that ch 1 was possibly a bit long, I have nothing but praise for your work.
I did see a couple of nit-picks though:
'kind who read my advertise-ment...' superfluous hyphen.
'No-one..' this should not be hyphenated.
'and attempt rape me..' missing *to*.
'paid up front for all six session.' missing final 's'
'didn't want to interrupt him.' But surely she *does* interrupt him when she says 'He became your step-father?'
'...hands to his face and rubbed his eyes. I hadn't noticed how well-manicured they were..' *his hands* were? Otherwise it sounds as if you're saying his eyes were well-manicured.

Nit-picks over. This is polished and compelling and I'd definitely read more. Shelved.
All the best,
Cas.
(KING'S ENVOY)

Lisel wrote 1033 days ago

An original premise. Intruiging plot. I like your dialogue and the characters. The way Aimee reacts to meeting a vampire is realistic, but I feel that this slows down the pace a little. This could be the reason why the chapters feel a tad too long to me. You could also look at removing potentially redundant adjectives/adverbs, e.g. "asked curiously" > just "asked" in chapter 4. On a very minor note, there's an unnecessary hyphen in "photo-graphs" in chapter 2! However, the plot is a winner, your writing in general is sound and if you agree with my view then it'd be easy to remedy these points during the editing process. A worthy addition to vampire fiction Backed.

Lisel
Isis In Crisis

ML Lacy wrote 1033 days ago

BACKED. You hooked me! Keep going - only 5!!!! I love the way the character spoke to me, just the two of us, then brought me into her story. Loved it!

ML Lacy wrote 1033 days ago

BACKED. You hooked me! Keep going - only 5!!!! I love the way the character spoke to me, just the two of us, then brought me into her story. Loved it!

J M Dalhousie wrote 1035 days ago

A modern vampire story that drew me in completely. Part of your success is down to Aimee - an MC and narrator the reader sympathises with right from her first words. Your plot is intriguing, and paced perfectly (with some great cliff-hanging end of Chapters) I only have one nit-pick - your first description of Tyler. I find a little too unspecific - you say he is 'very, very goodlooking', and that his body is 'perfect'. How? What makes a man good-looking in your narrator's eyes? The way he moves? The way his clothes mould to some parts of his body and not to others? The shape of his nose/cheekbones/eyebrows? The expression in his eyes? etc etc. I want more! Not just of Tyler, but of the rest of the novel... on my shelf.
JMD
The Alchemist's Heir

msm0202 wrote 1036 days ago

Amerynthe,

Chapter one may be the best beginning to a vampire novel that I have yet read on authonomy. The reason I like it so much is that it starts off grounded in a very routine day for Aimée. Nothing seems supernatural here at first. Even when those words disappear from the back of Tyler's card, nothing seems amiss. And when he tells her he's a vampire, she thinks he's delusional. Again, you don't jump matter-of-factly into the vampire world. This all has a ring of truth to it. Then we learn he has been watching her since she was a child. A bit chilling, written in just the right tone.

In fact, your writing here overall is very strong.

I like this story.
Shelved.
Mark

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