A Calculated Embellishment

A Calculated Embellishment
Bradley Wind

Bradley,
We backed each other’s books months ago I think, and I’ve had yours on my WL since, unread. The guilt was taking over so I finally decided to offload it.... Apologies for the undue delay.

I read the first five chapters and was happy to have done so. I read your pitch long ago which led me to back your book then, and I must say your short pitch stuck with me – “Abel Velasco counts the number of times his aunt hits him. Abel counts many things. He can’t help it – he’s a savant.” I must have met a few of these before because I see a few people in Abel – rare really, and this pitch made me think of them, making that personal connection between my own experiences of these rare people, and your book.

To start with just a minor bit of constructive criticism, in the third line of ch 1 I would remove the word “for” after the word “worthy” as it reads a bit odd and since these are your opening lines, I thought it best to tell you in case it feels odd to other more important people reading – I see you are at No.6 in the ranks, so do get another opinion. Also, at the end of ch 2 – last line, last word – you need a full stop after the word punishment which ends the last sentence. Minor, but given your rank I am sure you must be in the process of doing final edits.

I thought ch 1 was a good opening chapter. We are introduced to your narrator, a 12 year old boy whose hero is Descartes. I must admit, this impressed me a lot. Ordinarily, he might be viewed as a “nerd”, because he obviously has a high IQ and reads constantly. I found his thoughts and reasoning about intellectual matters quite stimulating. Yet, you managed to maintain the innocence of boyhood/childhood in him and make him appear just like any other 12 year old, despite his “talent/gift”. His concern for the dog, Mr. Scratch, and then his friend Russell who had a “propensity for producing spittle” appearing on the scene all made him and his life appear normal. The tone here is light, child-like, and I was happy to see you beginning to characterize him as having an inquisitive mind.
In ch 2 Abel’s responsibility for keeping the lawn and cleaning the back yard tidy are presented as excuses for Pigpie to scold him. For a brief moment it reminded me of the fabled days of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, with the fence painting and so on. In this chapter we see Pigpie slapping Abel mercilessly, with the potential to reach from his thighs to his head. On the one hand, he is being terribly abused. His domestic situation leaves a lot to be desired, but then he has his books and his heroes and his mind to retreat into where he can enjoy another world – the world of Descartes for instance with his “I think therefore I am” philosophy and Abel’s fascination with such ideas. This too was a well written chapter which suitably developed your plot.
Ch 3 was a real treat. The references to the songs by Joan Jett, the Beatles, and reference to Anson Williams from Happy Days took me so many years back. And I don’t remember the last time I saw or heard the word “pacman”! “Raggedy Andy” was a good substitute for that name we all remember so well, and again you took me back to the days of the jukebox ; Mohammed Ali; chiclets; the old movies such as an Officer and a Gentleman, Fast Times and Ridgemont High and so on. I enjoyed going back in time here. In this chapter too, we meet Shelly so again, your plot is being well developed and we are beginning to appreciate the relationships between your characters. I think you really captured the period here – a record of history in many ways for which you are to be commended. By this time, the savant in Abel really shows – how he can tell age and date down to years, days, minutes etc., his ability to recall minute details and so on, on so many topics were flabbergasting. Yet, Abel is credible. In this chapter you end with Pigpie shoving a balled piece of tinfoil into his mouth and ordering him to chew it. Again, showing the horror of his domestic life at such a young age, and I wondered here how this would affect him in later life.
Ch 4 opens with his thoughts on mathematics – that without it progress would halt and society would collapse. Again we see the savant in him in this chapter. I liked the classroom scene and meeting Dr. Limone who had the “short man’s belief that arrogance could make up for stature”. I thought there was a good ending to this with the “fag tag” incident and the observation of Abel of the good example of libraries being security against ignorance.
Ch 5 opens with Russell and Abel meeting, the tree, the binoculars, the shield of pine trees – here you recreate the sense of adventure that’s often a part of childhood and growing up and again I enjoyed this chapter. Russell might be leading Abel astray, as some of our many “good “friends of childhood have often done (!) but Abel doesn’t mind because he knows that the two library books he’d checked out wouldn’t last all night. The bicycle ride, the creek, the Pierson mansion where legend had it that a father killed himself and his family – all of this was quite interesting and sustained my interest.. And then the end of the chapter closing with Russell asking him to keep his secret and the “calculations” “blocking” Abel for the moment. And here I was convinced that the title of this piece “A Calculated Embellishment” is simply perfect.

Bradley, I thought this was well written, interesting, intelligent and exciting. I found it rich in atmosphere, language, details about so much which might be a recollection for some, and a leaqrning experience for others. The narrative voice is appropriate to establishing and maintaing credibility of your MC because this feels like a personal communication to me, and I suspect to any and everyone who reads this book. You dramatically describe his experiences of abuse and the anguish which goes with that, but you balance that darkness with his search for light, or perhaps his recognition that there is light within him through knowledge, and I think in his natural ability which he has discovered in himself. I think people of every age, young and old, will benefit from reading this piece. I wish I had time to read your full upload. I don’t right now but you can be sure I will come back to it.

On my shelf for another spin, and wishing you every success with this Bradley.
Zan

Bradley,
A Calculated Embellishment is a fascinating story. I once watched a biopic on the "Real Rain Man," Kim Peek, and much of your dialog and descriptions remind me of him--Abel's casually announcing the number of taste buds on a human tongue or dropping minutiae about Robert Fitzsimmons, the lightest heavyweight champion, are fine examples. At other times, Abel was quite different than Kim. For example, I can imagine Kim fixating on the qualities of Pabst Blue Ribbon, his favorite beer, but I imagine he would tell numerous offbeat jokes about Pabst and recount the history of that particular brewery rather than damning and spewing forth details of the rival Budweiser company. Abel is also much more world wise and calculating than Kim--perhaps that played into your choice of title. Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that Abel could be an alternative Kim due to his dysfunctional upbringing. After all, I believe Kim was, and perhaps is still being, raised by a very patient and protective father in Utah. If he'd shared Abel's hard early life, his "savant talents," as you call them, may well have been twisted in this different direction. Whatever the case in reality, the characters in your book are captivating and believable, the plot you describe intriguing. Glad that I read this one and happy to shelve it.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Dear Bradley,

Wow! What a premise! It's amazing to me that you, a young man who appears to be essentially "normal" himself, can get inside of an autistic savant's intriguingly skewed mind and let us view and live the results with him!

I have read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night and I Was Born on a Blue Day and thus have negotiated this kind of material before, and I can say without hesitation that you do it very well.

You do a great job of portraying a unigue mind--sounds conjuring up visions first and later sounds creating numbers and the need for calculations. I love the idea that an expanse of lawn is scary to him and numbers start crowding the fringes of his vision unless he can find a distraction, like his favorite--something deposited by a dog.

I found the description offered by Abel for the difference between Russell and him breathtaking in it's perfection.

I love this line: "He falls into Ali Baba level greatness for philosophical larceny."

And this one: " . . .navigating to the dirt path to kill my shadow . . ."

His response to certain words like Infinity seems exactly right for the autistic savant. I have no idea how you have managed to do this, but it's close to phenomenal.

Some more amazing sentences: "Arrogance stands out like nose-relish on a face . . . "

And " . . . and let the Dewey decimal system usher me to the Art section where the big books lived tortured lives on cramped shelves."

And "sitting dorks"

Quite a masterful blending of the throes of puberty from an autistic savant's point of view.

A couple of things presented themselves as needful of changing . As a few of your readers mentioned, they were unable to figure out who was the narrator and at what age. Because of his esoteric knowledge at an early age -- the seven languages he spoke while a young child, for example, it's not always easy to know how old he is and if Abel is referring to current events in his life or not.

Because of this, some tightening needs to be done. Possibly a short Preamble or Introduction or Beginning Word, given by a professional to introduce--very briefly--what the point of view is, would help with clarity so a reader wouldn't founder.

At one point in Chapter six, you switch viewpoints to Russell's. This is confusing, especially later when it's Abel who's waking up with strange faces hovering over him, and the reader is unsure about just who is waking up.

When Will comes and the white couple are so afraid of him, it wasn't clear to me that Will looked any different than usual, until later. I didn't think that looks were very important to Abel and it began to seem that this might turn into something a bit racist.

One sentence bothered me because I couldn't figure out the referrent for the pronoun. It stopped the flow for me while I tried to figure out what was going on. Unfortunately, I loved the sentence; I just couldn't figure it out.

It was in chapter six, "As shadows enveloped me, it's low triumphant howl worked on my spine . . . " Whose howl? I couldn't figure it out.

This is worthy of shelving and I am doing that. I believe that there is a place for this book in today's reading public and it should find a publisher willing to take it on.

This is like a collage that you instinctively know that you love, that petitions your heart and eye, that on some level you know that you understand, but you have to stand in front of it for a long time, alternately frowning and smiling, before you can quite fathom out why.

Your narrator colours a world that is vibrant. You place words with a painter’s application. You express the inscrutable so eloquently. There is something gorgeously oblique and enigmatic about this.

There are elements of this, small observations, that are truly joyous and that made me grin inanely. I inhale my dog too. He smells of innocence and I love him for it.

This is probably the most original writing that I’ve yet read on this site. I could get quite gushy over it, Bradley. Along with Freddie, you’re going to be residing on my shelf for a long while, because I want to read this properly and slowly – not as an Authonomite, looking for nitpicks and something smart to say – but as a fan, reading something joyous and worthwhile that demands to be savoured.

I found the first 9 chapters fascinating and would love to read the remainder of the book!! How do I get the rest of the book??
The author really captivates the soul of a young adolescent while sharing the mind of a savant living in a challenging environment!
Hopefully this book will be seen soon on the shelves of Barnes and Noble!

Dear Bradley,

Thank you for helping me to appreciate your novel with its interesting characters. I especially liked all of the memorable facts and goods you write about. Hubba Bubba is my favorite gum, well and Fruit Stripe too.

Have a nice day,

Billy McBride
P.S. If you read any of my books first I hope that you choose How to Win the Lotto. Thanks.

Clever, original and very well observed. I also love the title and pitch.One of the best I have read on here so far. Best of luck, Claire

Dear Bradley, I love that your pitch told about savant syndrome, which I had never heard of, but I love to count everything :) - when I was going to college, I would count how many steps to my classroom & later, how many steps to the library :) - I'm totally fascinated & will have to put it in my search engine if I ever have time :) - I wrote it in my date book at the top of my page. :) I also could climb our Chinaberry tree & the neighbor's maple tree higher than anyone in the neighborhood, which I tell this in my memoirs book. :) You can tell that you triggered a lot of memories, huh? :) I read through chapter 9 & loved all of the adventure of your story. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also ****** 'd your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs book in return? Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ****** -ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :)

:) comment to follow after I've read your book - read & commented on 17 hours later :)

Bradley, I found 'A Calculated Embellishment' a wonderful read. I'm not good at reviewing a book from the eye of an expert - so about how the book make me feel. Your book, I found, a writing and a writer, sensitive with a wonderous sense of the written words, which kept me enthralled and wanting to read on and on. It is a quiet read which me, in a state of reflection after - thinking whether there is a little of Abel in each of us? Whether we are as complete in our honesty about ourselves and our lives? Sometimes, the Abels of the world are better humans than the so called 'normal' people. Thank you Bradley for placing your book here. I loved it. Hanyxxx

Bradly,
What an incredible book. I really enjoyed reading it. Not be a book review, and certainly not able to offer more than what you already have been told, will simply say let me know when you get your book deal. I will be first in line to buy a copy.
Best regards,
Sharon Van Orman
Eve, an Eden's Exiles novel

So many delights in this that its difficult to pick, brilliantly concise evocation of character (Phil in his ironed designer Jeans), the esoteric bits of information introducing the chapters, the acute observation and the aphorisms (if that is the word: libraries are security against ignorance), believable dialogue. Will back Jaye Hill The Fantasy Trip and Runa Seven

Hiya,

I remember having a brief look through this a while back and not having time to comment. I enjoyed it just as much the second time and it appears there have been a few edits since then. There's not much I can say since you've heard back from HC - congratulations on making the ED and on the great review.

The start was very compelling - we get an insight into the narrator's thoughts, his surroundings, and a good idea of what his voice will be like.

There seem to be a handful of typos lurking around: Ch. 4 'Flynn's' should probably be 'Flynns', and 'full reign' should be 'full rein' (or 'free rein'). Ch. 6 'When were your born' - 'When were you born'. Ch. 7 'free reign' - 'free rein'.

One aspect of your writing that I particularly enjoyed was the portrayal of the characters. I actually liked the fact that Pigpie might seem two dimensional because it emphasises the fact that we're seeing everything through Abel's eyes, and however observant he is of the people around him, he's not a completely objective narrator. I was also impressed with the way in which you built up the world around Abel and include backstory while maintaining his voice.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to comment sooner, or to give this a backing when you were trying to make the ED.

All the best,
elf_friend

I am interested in your book and am putting it on my watchlist. I will be reading parts of it as soon as I can. In that it is related to the Bible, it perhaps bears some similarity to my own book, which, if you are a Christian, potential Christian, or a thoughtful and objective skeptic in this regard, you might enjoy. Its title is "Things Are Not as They Seem."

I can't do any better than the comments that appear below...quite an accolade for the rest of us who aspire to reaching the Ed's desk...great stuff...by the way, how does one go about getting a cover designed by you (?)
Best wishes
Stewart

Dear Bradley,
I understand that you do covers for many of the titles on this site. I am looking for help with the cover for my book, Memories of Glory. Can you help me?
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Marcus Wolfe

You are my kind of writer. This is what I read for Descartes is a A-hole.
Will you take a look at Going Out in Style and let me know what YOU think.
Thx,
A zoomer- a boomer with zip

superb review, Bradley.

Hi Bradley. Congratulations on climbing up onto the desk. I’ve read through the first chapter of your manuscript, and I see its appeal: the writing is witty and tight, and the characters engaging. I backed you even though it's a moot point.
Please consider looking at my manuscript, “The Job: Based on a True Story (I mean, this is bound to have happened somewhere)” – I hope you’ll find it something fresh and different in the religion genre. I’d certainly appreciate your support, but only if you think it has merit.
Thanks,
Craig Davis
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=19440

Hi Bradley. Congratulations on climbing up onto the desk. I’ve read through the first chapter of your manuscript, and I see its appeal: the writing is witty and tight, and the characters engaging. I backed you even though it's a moot point.
Please consider looking at my manuscript, “The Job: Based on a True Story (I mean, this is bound to have happened somewhere)” – I hope you’ll find it something fresh and different in the religion genre. I’d certainly appreciate your support, but only if you think it has merit.
Thanks,
Craig Davis
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=19440

Ch 8. Still convincving me. Great. I don't quite know how you achieve it = perhaps by having the reader so totally in the skin of the narrator - but the fairly anti social behaviour of the kids still manages to suggest that they'll progress to being decent human beings one day. It's so real, that's what makes it funnier and a page turner. I could really see this on TV and personally hope it goes that way.

All the best,

Rosalind
Good for Him

Hi, I'm drawn to this because you write about the same sort of characters and issues as I do, although your style is totally different. I love it and would take it eagerly off any library shelf.

Good Wishes

Rosalind (Lara)

Good for Him

Hey, Bradley--
Just had to write something here, since you had 666 comments. Couldn't have any bad mojo lurking around your work, my friend. Congratulations, by the way!
--Dan

Bradley, I apologise for not replying sooner, but congratulations in making the editors desk, I hope it's constructive.

From what I have managed to read your writing is descriptive, imaginative, realistic and flows well. You have a good story and I struggle to fault the narration or the writing.

All the best with it.

Bobby
Dented Sensation

Hi Bradley,

I finally got around to reading this and all I can say is WOW! Loved everything I read. No wonder you got onto the Ed's desk. Hope someone picks it up. Definitely one of my favs.

Tracy

Congratulations! That star is so pretty.... LOL

I tweaked my cover a bit. I hope it's ok!

Lisa~
Brewer House

I read this a while ago but am just now getting around to backing books, and this was the one book that stayed with me. The voice is captivating, the writing fluid. Very much enjoyed it, and I predict that this will be one of the books that people find stays on their minds for long after they read it.

Bradley,
Where you have written “Last May 19th, 1981...” you captured cascading thought perfectly. I have a fascination with schizophrenia and the research I’ve done to understand it entailed talking with people having those cascading thoughts. They seem to be fixated on the object/subject of which they are speaking and the thoughts attach to it, not to communication or social interaction.

Abel is a very polite boy. Emphasizing that a heavyset person could not fit down the path... my initial reaction was to say, “don’t avoid the word fat”...but the more I read his thoughts, I realized he is not a crass individual. He is observant and almost reverent in his observance.

Russell reminds me of an oaf. Like Harry Potter’s gentle giant or Steinbeck’s Lennie... I wonder what his heart will reveal and how the two will fend for one another in a very cynical and cold world.

You remind me of Roald Dahl in your characterization of the adults. Pigpie and Spyker... my comparison is to tell you that your writing has the echoes of literature. The era you are writing about, too... John Boy Walton. When I was a child, my pretend time was at my electric typewriter at my bedroom window, the narrator speaking kindly and inventing a 1930’s family in the late 70's. Abel is strangely comforting to me.

Now I understand the contempt for adults. Pigpie is befitting for this woman. The avoidance of the slap is perfectly written...I know that.

I genuinely appreciate the laugh out loud writing – when Abel quotes Shakespeare to get into Fast Times at Ridgemont High I think my next door neighbour heard me laughing. The humour is good – it will cushion the thigh slapping reality.

Ok... I have to admit that I *love* the idea of Pigpie using “irregardless”... priceless!

Dolly broke our schnauzer’s hip when she threw Penny down the basement. We had to put her down because even with surgery the vet said she would never walk right again. If Abel survives and doesn’t become a serial killer I’ll be in the front row cheering. Enough for now...more later... this comment is too long already!

BACKED - not in payment, in reverence.
SueAnn (The Truth About Whales)

Bradley,
Congratulations on making the ED. This book certainly deserves it. It's very well-written; I like how you show in chapter two how his obsession with numbers and the large amount of facts he has memorized affect how he thinks. Great job!
-Libby

Hi Brad, I had the quick look of your book. I'm doing the rounds at the moment. However, I am keeping a note of the better ones to return to and yours is worth another look. I hope the editors are kind to you and offer you a deal. I'd better come back to the book before you decide to sell it.　All the Best and thanks again for the artwork

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

Congratulations Bradley, you deserve every success, and I wish you all the best!
Fantastic novel.

Alison Butler (The Hanging of Margaret Dickson)

Bravo and the best of luck,

Jesse - Savant

Bradley,

Wicked good! I like the 13 year-old character and his appreciation of Mister Scratch! And the arboreal fractions's tale used to cause me as much wonder when I was a teenager. It's true for some trees but not for all of them so Mr Sutkin was certainly exaggerating.

I wish you well with it!

Edward

This is very nice. There is a great eye for detail--small things that really add to the depth of the book. This reminds me a little of Stand by Me by Stephen King (The Body was the short, as I remember). Anyway, it's tha particular ability to remember those little details and convey them that is a gift. Good luck.

Mike Mefford

Bradley,
I know your book really doesn't need further assistance, but after reading the first two chapters I'm really impressed. Great voice, and the transitions are quite good. The reader doesn't get lost at all. I love how you tie them in a further explain his past through his odd thought process. This is great. Backed. I wish you the best.

If you have time to take a look at mine, I'd appreciate it. An Invisible Dawn hasn't been on the site long, just since the 25'th of February. If you like it, please shelve it and help us to reach the heights of your current acclaim. If not, please let me know what I can do to make it better.

Weston Kincade
An Invisible Dawn

Bradley, I'm reluctant to comment because praising the writer who's currently #1 here can come across as cravenly sycophantic, but I really did enjoy your first chapter. You have a breezy energy and wit and a knack for recapturing how it felt to be thirteen. And I didn't have a problem with the word "for," though I'm not attacking zan for objecting to it. Nobody is required to agree about anything concerning literature.

Almost every paragraph of this has a description of something familiar that's not like any way I've seen it described before. I was particularly struck by the way Abel uses the graffiti to gauge his climb up the tree and the "if you eat what you smell" part and the description of Pigpie which is mostly all moles and thigh-slaps. Oh, and the propelling clouds around the sky as Abel's looking up at them from the tree house. I could go on a lot longer.

Occasionally the sentences have more information in them than is ideal for smooth reading. But I think if you changed that, Abel's voice wouldn't come through as clearly as it does. I'm very glad to have gotten to read some of this.

sorry but i won't be writing a super long comment like some of the authors did.

very interesting idea, Rain Man meets Davinci Code? hehe.

very nicely written, easy to follow, especially with such abudant use of quotes which divides up the narratives.

only thing missing? your coverart needs a panda hat.

Dear Bradley,

This book has wonderful potential. I believe you have created a truly unique main character, who attracts a great deal of empathy.

I can give a couple of ideas that might help you:

1. You need a thorough proof-read. In general, your prose is good, but there are serious lapses.
"A minute passed, but the backdoor didn't open after I thought I'd heard a noise." is either very convoluted prose, or an indication of how this character's mind works. Unfortunately, most people will assume the former, especially when you use the adjective form, "backdoor" when you mean the adjective-noun form, "back door." You make the same mistake with "everyday" in the next chapter.

2. You overuse the "stream of consciousness" spewing of facts. While it is a key facet of your MC's character, that doesn't mean it makes great novel material. Perfect example: the start of Ch 6. This comes at a place in the novel where the reader's interest is starting to flag, because essentially, nothing has happened yet. This is the point where you need to pick up the action, and instead, at the beginning of a chapter, you put in 10 large paragraphs of philosophy.

It's standard procedure, when you have a character trait that is also a reading problem (dialect, for example) to use it strongly at first to establish it, and then back off, and only use it where it works for the rest of the story. In the case of this trait, I can see it being used for comic effect, or to create suspense in a conflict situation.

Which leads us to the last and most obvious problem,

3. Nine chapters before the conflict starts. If you don't see this as a problem, there's not much more I can say.

In any case, I will be backing this story, because I don't think there's enough creativity in the world, and I love the MC.

Gordon Long
"A Sword Called…Kitten?"

Hi Bradley, Calculated Embellishment is a very clever story. What can I say that hasn't been said. Amazing. Checked out your book covers on your site. Wow, didn't realize that many of my favorites here on the site were yours.
backed
Pamela Frost
aka scatteredfrost
Houses of Cards

Hi Bradley
Thanks for your comments on 'Taylor' - Will look to split the long pitch. Just read the first few chapters of 'A calculated Embelleshment' - I like it. I like the way you effortlessly bring in vivd characters - reminded me of reading Stephen KIng. The first person narrative works really well and paints an intriguing picture even without dialogue. I teach kids on the autistic spectrum (although not savants - that I know of!) and so felt an immediate affection for Abel. Hope this one goes all the way.
DJ

This is a phenominal book - it is no wonder it got this far! There are so many wonderful comments here so I just say ditto! Good luck - you are so there!

In between signing autographs if you have time to take a peek at The Cheech Room I would love your opinion! ;)

Hi Bradley,
This was one of the first books I looked at on this site, and I either forgot to back it or didn't know how. :-) I don't feel qualified to comment in depth, but I will say that it reads like an already published novel, and there is a reason it has the ranking it does!
All the best

Hi Bradley,

I have to say, this probably wouldn't have been a book I'd have picked up. I'm glad Authonomy brought the opportunity to read this. You've done a great job setting a 1980s picture and the characters are well developed. From your pitch I wasn't sure what kind of syndrome to expect as I've never heard of Savant before. The pitch also had me a little worried that the book would be a little depressing. I was very pleasantly surprised and found a mixture of Stand by Me and Beautiful mind (sorry, I couldn't find a better comparible movie/book Id see/read).

You have a very clean writing style and good plot pacing. GOod luck with the Editor's Desk and congratulations for making the top 5.

AR

Excellent job! Really, what more can I add to the impressive comments about your book? I hope the editor's desk is the start of great things for you and your fabulous writing!

H Leigh Cornwell
(Blood Descent)

Good Luck, Bradley. This book deserves to be published. Backed. To the hilt.

Hey Bradley, I’m fairly sure I backed you before, however I just looked on my watch list and after reading your work had TO make sure I had backed your work, brilliant – good luck.

Famlavan – Museum of Old Beliefs

Bradley,
This is a wonderful story. Abel is perhaps the most intriguing character I've read. You've done a marvelous job of bringing him to life as a person, not a caricature. He switches from rants on Descartes to Budweiser as if each has equal importance. What I like most is that this is different - defies all labels. When surrounded by sci-fi, fantasy, and vampire/werewolf tales, this is a real breath of fresh air. Entertaining, masterful, and extremely well done.
I think you have a real chance at commercial success, and I wish you the best of luck.

Best regards,
Vickie (Barely a Trace)

Wow! Great pitch...I also read the first chapter and I have to say... Great Work!!! will be placing on my wl and bookshelf as space comes behavior

I don't think we've ever read each other's books, Bradley, but you've sort of been a quiet presence in my online lives for almost a year, and a wise presence here on authonomy. That's why I've felt the need to come over and look at Embelllishment before the month is up. So, please don't feel obligated to read my book.

I have read two chapters, and that's enough, because, in them, you establish a very strong narrative voice, one which remains in your readers' mind even after they have taken their eyes from the page and put down your book. That's a quality only few writers can achieve. You do need to edit for punctuation (sorry, I am known as the Punctuation Police, and it would be wrong not to point it out).

I'm not sure if you do yourself a disservice by mentioning Rainman in your blurb, because you set people's expectations and set yourself up for a comparison (or accusation of copying), especially if you query with that reference.

This deserves a short spin on my rotating shelf, and I wish you much luck with it.

R

I read, therefore I know! What a wonderful premise for a story. To be inside an autistic mind is a memorable experience. Genius shines in your protagonist as well as you, his mentor. Shelved.

Bradley, your story is fascinating. Abel is such a loveable character, very visceral in the way he narrates the story. I can see why you are at the top. You a do a great job of making the reader hope that Pigpie(great name) suddenly chokes, maybe that is too good for her. Wishing you all the best. Backed

Your book is an excellent read. I find it youthful and takes me in so far that I begin to recall times in my life where I had the innocence of childhood with the niavity of thinking I am an adult. When I read your words I can clearly see the landscape and feel the sensations of the new world encompassing me. I back this up and look forward to seeing it on the shelf at the bookstore!

Kindest of Regards,

Believe

I Believe Therefore I am