Time and Time Again

Hi again Rick,

I just spotted your reply to the comment I left here. I didn't even realise you'd replied. I thought you were avoiding me lol.

I'm glad my review seems to have been OK. It's always nice when somebody appreciates the time and effort I put into comments. :)

Actually, I have sections from 3 of my books uploaded here. I'm trying to push one of them, A Memory of Blood, to the desk right now. Is there any chance you could look at A Memory of Blood and put it on your shelf if you like it? There are only 6 and a bit days left in the race this month, and I need all the help I can get to stay in the top 5 until May 31st.

Yours hopefully,

Pete

Hi Pete,

Many thanks for your encouraging comments, and I'm glad you've enjoyed the book so far.
You're right in deducing that the detail comes from my having worked in such medical environments. In fact, the whole idea of the book came about as the result of an actual unintentional return (almost) to my former home, and my wondering what would have happened if I had been pitched back twenty years in time. Other details I've woven into the story also come from actual family and personal reminiscences, so I guess that adds to the reality of the account.

I have received some criticisms about my style, etc, some of which I've taken on board, and I've made some amendments, but on the whole I write for my own satisfaction, and if other readers enjoy it (as most seem to), that's fine, but as I'm sure you know, you can't please everybody! (For example, you liked there being plenty of background information on Bill, but others have said I should cut it out altogether and just dive straight into the story. Someone else told me I should cut things down to stark, bare bones and avoid a lot of description - and adverbs ending in -ly! I found that bizarre, as it's often the colourful description that makes a book, depending on the particular genre.)

As for alternative dimensions, I've always been fascinated by the ideas of time travel and parallel worlds - both of which feature in my trilogy 'The Wireless Children', the beginnings of which, incidentally, date back to the early 80s - long before the TV series 'Sliders', 'Quantum Leap', etc. first appeared.

'Time and Time Again' has actually been (self-)published (ISBN 978-1906645045), but it has a few errors that got through the proof reading, so the updated version on Authonomy is better. I haven't exactly made my fortune from the royalties!

Once again, thanks for your comments and 6 star rating. It doesn't appear that you have any books of your own on Authonomy, but the ones you've reviewed look interesting - I just wish I had the time to read them all (and many others that are available to read).

Regards,

Rick.

Hi Rick,

This book just caught my eye, so I had to come here to have a good read and leave a comment. :)

I'll comment as I read because I find that the easiest way to go about it. Here I go. :)

The Start of a Mystery :

I like the easy, conversational style this is written in right from the beginning. This feels like Bill's reading or writing in a journal to me. You'll probably get hammered on here by people going on about showing v telling but I think your writing does exactly what you want it to do. It’s relaxed, readable and it works. :)

I'm getting intrigued by mention of mistakes and the surreal. I already get the sense a v strange adventure's coming. Good. I like my adventures strange. ;)

Plenty of good background info on Bill. I think you’re lulling us into his day to day life so we'll be shocked when the weirdness comes. By the end of the chapter, all seems generally well, but I think something's gonna happen soon. ;)

How it all Began:

I think the level of detail you evoke so casually makes it clear you actually have worked in such medical environments. If you haven't, well bluffed, sir. ;)

Aha the weirdness it here. What's this with his wife calling him by a name she hasn't used for 20 years? And home's changed. And his wife looks younger. Uh oh, on his absent minded detour he must have somehow travelled back in time! The newspaper hammers it all home. 1982! No wonder he's staggered!

I loved his desperate flannelling to cover the fact he didn't have a clue who Brenda was. I could really feel his confusion. And the impact of seeing his daughter as a baby's understandably shocking.

I found it interesting that he somehow knew he wouldn't meet his younger self. Did spacetime somehow forbid such a paradox at a fundamental level? Fascinating.

I enjoyed his waking disorientation. Only understandable, under the circumstances! Finally he gets to wondering what caused this time travel. Wow it seems the process is as simple as thinking about the time period while passing a certain point. Is there some abnormality in reality at this point? Or does Bill have some sort of power? Maybe he even has a magic bike ;). There are lots of intriguing questions here.

He seems v relieved to get back to his own time. No wonder.

Too Hard to Resist:

Hmmm interesting how fright gradually translates into curiosity. I just hope curiosity won't kill this cat!

Looks like an argument in the present triggers reminiscence. Ah then he gets the perfect excuse to go back to the past, to fetch a book. The incident with the keys working was interesting. Is that hint this is all a dream, perhaps?

I can see why he enjoyed being around his children when they were younger again. There's a real sweetness to the scene with the teddies all in a circle. ;)

Uh oh he finds the book but disaster is soon snatched from the jaws of victory. The untrustworthy Lena has it. That sort of person's the reason I rarely lend books out any more. This doesn't look promising. :(

I loved Sally's random talking on the way to the nursery. I thought the snippets of dialogue were so sweet and really sounded as if they were spoken by a child her age. :)

Aha the hunt for the book continues at the Help the Aged shop. Will he finally find it?... Yes, he finds it. Quest completed! :)

Back in the present, his today bike's back. Uh oh if objects transform to the correct date, this doesn't look promising for the book :(. Indeed, there’s no sign of the book when he searches.

Shock news. His actions somehow seem to change the present. His tiny act of getting a book has a snowball effect, altering everything. His life seems better, yet I wonder if there may be a new darkness is his world too. :(

OK I’m going to stop commenting now before this comment becomes far too big. I think I got a bit carried away. :)

I loved this. I think there’s a wonderful contrast between the easy, readable writing style + ordinary location and what amounts to sci fi. While the tone remained heartwarming, I found myself wondering about parallel dimensions and the implications of chaos theory. I think these weird and wonderful factors in such an everyday setting make your book v interesting and unique. :)

I’m rating you with 6 stars, and do hope you get published. :)

Best of luck,

Pete

Hi Rick,

This book just caught my eye, so I had to come here to have a good read and leave a comment. :)

I'll comment as I read because I find that the easiest way to go about it. Here I go. :)

The Start of a Mystery :

I like the easy, conversational style this is written in right from the beginning. This feels like Bill's reading or writing in a journal to me. You'll probably get hammered on here by people going on about showing v telling but I think your writing does exactly what you want it to do. It’s relaxed, readable and it works. :)

I'm getting intrigued by mention of mistakes and the surreal. I already get the sense a v strange adventure's coming. Good. I like my adventures strange. ;)

Plenty of good background info on Bill. I think you’re lulling us into his day to day life so we'll be shocked when the weirdness comes. By the end of the chapter, all seems generally well, but I think something's gonna happen soon. ;)

How it all Began:

I think the level of detail you evoke so casually makes it clear you actually have worked in such medical environments. If you haven't, well bluffed, sir. ;)

Aha the weirdness it here. What's this with his wife calling him by a name she hasn't used for 20 years? And home's changed. And his wife looks younger. Uh oh, on his absent minded detour he must have somehow travelled back in time! The newspaper hammers it all home. 1982! No wonder he's staggered!

I loved his desperate flannelling to cover the fact he didn't have a clue who Brenda was. I could really feel his confusion. And the impact of seeing his daughter as a baby's understandably shocking.

I found it interesting that he somehow knew he wouldn't meet his younger self. Did spacetime somehow forbid such a paradox at a fundamental level? Fascinating.

I enjoyed his waking disorientation. Only understandable, under the circumstances! Finally he gets to wondering what caused this time travel. Wow it seems the process is as simple as thinking about the time period while passing a certain point. Is there some abnormality in reality at this point? Or does Bill have some sort of power? Maybe he even has a magic bike ;). There are lots of intriguing questions here.

He seems v relieved to get back to his own time. No wonder.

Too Hard to Resist:

Hmmm interesting how fright gradually translates into curiosity. I just hope curiosity won't kill this cat!

Looks like an argument in the present triggers reminiscence. Ah then he gets the perfect excuse to go back to the past, to fetch a book. The incident with the keys working was interesting. Is that hint this is all a dream, perhaps?

I can see why he enjoyed being around his children when they were younger again. There's a real sweetness to the scene with the teddies all in a circle. ;)

Uh oh he finds the book but disaster is soon snatched from the jaws of victory. The untrustworthy Lena has it. That sort of person's the reason I rarely lend books out any more. This doesn't look promising. :(

I loved Sally's random talking on the way to the nursery. I thought the snippets of dialogue were so sweet and really sounded as if they were spoken by a child her age. :)

Aha the hunt for the book continues at the Help the Aged shop. Will he finally find it?... Yes, he finds it. Quest completed! :)

Back in the present, his today bike's back. Uh oh if objects transform to the correct date, this doesn't look promising for the book :(. Indeed, there’s no sign of the book when he searches.

Shock news. His actions somehow seem to change the present. His tiny act of getting a book has a snowball effect, altering everything. His life seems better, yet I wonder if there may be a new darkness is his world too. :(

OK I’m going to stop commenting now before this comment becomes far too big. I think I got a bit carried away. :)

I loved this. I think there’s a wonderful contrast between the easy, readable writing style + ordinary location and what amounts to sci fi. While the tone remained heartwarming, I found myself wondering about parallel dimensions and the implications of chaos theory. I think these weird and wonderful factors in such an everyday setting make your book v interesting and unique. :)

I’m rating you with 6 stars, and do hope you get published. :)

Best of luck,

Pete

Time travel always gives us so many possibilities for a great story and i think yours shows us just another avenue. I like how you use it in your novel. I enjoyed reading this, it's one of those sci fi stories that is like brain candy. You have to think as you read, which is as good as it is to read and turn off your brain. I hope I'm making sense! The writing is good, it lets the reader experience the actions and emotions of the characters right with them. Nicely done.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Thanks, Lenore. I'm sure we all have our own different styles, techniques and approaches, and I've found from people's comments, and from my own reading, that what appeals to some readers just doesn't work for others. I could probably go back over much of my writings and try to rework, rephrase, add, subtract etc. endlessly, and still not feel completely satisfied. I certainly couldn't please all my readers, but it does help to get other people's perspectives on what one has written, and thereby augment one's own repertoire of techniques. Anyway, I'm pleased if my efforts have in some way helped you. I've dipped into 'Surviving the Seaweed', but far too much to manage in one sitting (or even several!), so I've put it on my watchlist.

You know, I felt compelled to revisit your book and I'm glad I did. I have learned some techniques from you about flashbacks and "time travel" that is helping me with my own book, which also relies on the same. My earlier concerns about your technique, I think, were wrongly associating too much with my own technique. That's why I returned, to not make a comparison, but rather appreciate your style as you take this journey. So if you felt I was too heavy-handed, please know it was probably to help us both use this flashback segments as effectively as possible. My best to you. Backed

I like the concept of going back in time, but the organization and lack of dialogue for so long into it has me a bit frustrated. First of all, I'd tighten that pitch, putting in some paragraphs, making each sentence count. I would also lose the introduction and acknowledgements and start with the story. People here and everywhere want to get "to it," and the delay may cost you a read. That can be added later with a publisher. Also, if this is a novel, there are many ways to handle material from another source, without using footnotes. Use italics to indicate it, or refer to it, "as so and so said in my favorite movie." You could also write your own lead. I like the concept, but I wonder if you wouldn't have a stronger book here if you just used present tense and let the readers experience your time travel. Good luck to you. I've got you on my watch list while I clear my shelf.

TIME AND TIME AGAIN
All of us wish at some point we could go back in time to when we were young – so reading this story was a good reminder that, altho desired, that may not be a good thing to do. You have a good character in Bill; he’s likable and the kind of character a reader wants to follow to see how this all plays out. I’m adding it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

This is very amusing (like Billy not wanting to sound too definite about the houses that will be built on the field and his favourite episode of Open All Hours) but very sad too. It's probably something we've all wished for yet you show clearly that it could also be purgatory. I have to say I found the opening chapter about Bill's work a bit of a hiatus but it was worth it. I've sniggered at the farcical bits but i've a feeling things are going to get more serious. I'll keep reading but will back it now with best wishes for it's success. Lynn

Reminds me of a ceoss between Quantum Leap and Peggy Sue got married, as yet i dn't know why he's jumping back into his own past but the allure of it is too strong to resist and something must be playing in his head that needs resolved. I like your writing, it is simple and engaging and I have a feeling you write like you talk. Enjoying this, will continue.

Engaing and emotional read.

backed for sure

THE THIRD EYE

You're totally fantastic, Rick! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Rick,
I have not read all the book and all the words, however I have read all the pitches and started on all the books. How do you do it. This must be many years work I have put on my shelf, this goes beyond a hat trick. and me not a natural writer am flabbergasted. I have backed all your books you have taken up my shelf. CONGRATS What I have read, you are such a talent and I wish I had half of it. A suggestion for the long pitches and that is to put in paras, this for example gives the impression of being a little long when it is not, and your publisher will maybe read your pitches first. Oh and I feel sure that publisher is there.
.BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I do hope you will review my book, comment and most of all BACK it. but either way the BEST of luck with yours
Denise
The Letter

Dear Rick, I love all 5 of your books & have just read all of the pitches & some of the chapters. All of them are unique, like this one going back & forth 20 years - wouldn't that be something else if we could do that. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

Hi Marko. I've never watched 'Goodnight Sweetheart'. Thanks for backing my book, and I hope you'll enjoy it. To you and other readers/commenters, I'm afraid I've neglected Authonomy lately - too many other demands on my time, unfortunately. Now, if I could find some way to halt time...!

Great idea, Rick. Reminds me of the TV series 'Goodnight Sweetheart' - which I still miss. I'm looking forward to reading 'Time & Time again' and have backed the book in the meantime.

Marko (Brief Encounters)

This is an intriguing idea. One that is riddled with humor and interesting observations. I enjoyed what I read but thought perhaps the opening should be him actually experiencing the first time, not just recounting it. But as it is written now it is enjoyable. Perhaps shrink the prologue down as a lot of it is said/done in the first chapter.
A nice little interlude before the book starts off. I like the idea of revisiting the path, maybe getting to reexperience the things done right. Time travel books are hard to keep in order but you do a good job of this. I like reference to Lion the witch and the wardrobe. Some of my favorite books growing up.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

What about Thomas ...great ending/beginning.
This has an easy conversational style, foregoing the thrills and horrors
that the plot line offers, for a thoughtful, amusing and wholesome
story.
Suggestions
I felt Ch 2 was a larger repeat of Ch 1..Okay fine but I would make Ch 1
into a shorter prologue then. I didn´t see typos.
Congrats........shelved..........Mikey (The Free)

Hi Steve,
Just for you I've split up 'that monster parag.'! I've already reworked Chapter 1 once, which was (and was actually intended to be) more like a journal, but other readers were right in that it needed to dive straight into the story to get people hooked. I haven't finished with it yet, though, and may well do some more reworking later.
As for the use of the—and the (), I suspect this may reflect some differences between British and American usage to some extent.
Anyway, thanks for your comments and interest, and I'm enjoying Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge. Rick.

Rick
Great writing and I love the premise. I wish I could go back twenty years and do things differently. I also wish my wife was twenty years younger. Though I love her very much we just today celebrated our 40th. This doesn't need much editing but I did make a few notes, hope they are helpful: Frist Katherine has way too many names, Kate, Kath and Katie. In two different lines you said you used to call her both Kath and Katie? Chapter 1 reads like a journal and probably should be trimmed, too much info. The fun starts in Chapter 2, okay I'm 20 years younger and I don't know why, and it's not a dream. Great premise. Reader wants to know if he could change things so the pages start turning. Very clever. Oh, I also noted an overuse of the --double dash-- where commas and periods should be and (parens) where the double dash should be to set of asides. (or do I mean nightmare?) --or do I mean nightmare?--
Also that monster parag. Eventually little Sally realized. . . needs to be broken up.
All around this is a great read and I really enjoyed it. Good luck.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

This is excellent stuff. I read the pitch which intrigued me and made me want to read on. The opening is very well written and makes you want to read on even more. Your writing is easy to follow, very intelligent and this easily deserves a spot on my shelf. Excellent stuff.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

It really would help to have a gripping start because, just like a book-store, people scan to see whether to read on or not. No reason why this won't do well on here. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Hey Rick - now we are both here :-)
I love it, as you well know!
I agree with some that the opening is a little slow, but once i got into it i literally couldn't put it down. i read it cover to cover in one go and i'm glad that i did becuase it was a througholy (still can't spell that word!) wonderful read.
I have Shelved you and you shall remain there!! Hurry and get on with 'To Sleep, Perchance..' i think the other readers on here deserve to read it!
Check out Witherstone - there are some chapters on there that you havent seen yet :-)

- Danielle

Thanks, Lizzi. I'm glad you've liked the book so far. I believe you'll continue to enjoy it - hope so, anyway!
Rick.

Hi Thomas,

Thanks for your comments - I appreciate them all, the bouquets and the brickbats. I guess with a name like Sharkey, you could be expected to make some biting comments!

To answer your points, first, it is in a sense an autobiography - not mine, but that of Bill Draper, who explains at the outset he's putting his experiences down in a journal.

I'm intrigued by this expression of 'telling' rather than 'showing'. I must admit, I've struggled with this idea. Whilst I understand Ci's point (I think), it's hard to know how a person can relate his adventures in such a way as to let the reader experience them other than by telling them! (Obviously, in as graphic a way as possible.) The book is actually available in print (self-published through Grosvenor House Publishing), and all the comments I've had so far have been very favourable (though one elderly lady found it 'a bit confusing'! That's often the way with time travel!). However, I've taken the point made by Jeff Blackmer (see below), and have started revising the opening chapters, with a view probably to further revisions.

Incidentally, I've read some of 'Tears of Angels', and cannot honestly say that it 'tells' rather than 'shows' any less than mine. That is not a criticism, just a comparison. I have noticed a few anomalies, e.g. in your preface I think you mean 'naturalists', not 'naturists' (nudists!), and in Chapter 3 the Isle of Wight rather than the Isle of White. However, I think the general premise of the book is still good. Maybe I shall read more of it when I have time.

Regarding similarities - as I mentioned to Roe, there are bound to be similarities between stories of a particular genre (by the way, I enjoyed the 'Life on Mars' series, which came out a year after I finished writing 'Time and Time Again', and I'm currently enjoying the spin-off series, 'Ashes to Ashes'.) Your book, for example, has similarities with 'The Day After Tomorrow' and more global disaster stories than I could list! Again, not a criticism, just a comparison.

I guess the bottom line is, like yourself, "I write to please, first me and then the reader". No doubt most authors find their own work pleasing, and so do a lot of their readers. I've certainly found that to be so, and I daresay you have too, though there's probably always room for improvement.

Rick.

Hi Roe, Thanks for your comments. As far as I can remember, I began to formulate my idea for the book before I'd seen Back to the Future, though I later made reference to it in one of the early chapters. I guess there's a certain amount of common ground in most stories involving time travel, and I daresay I was influenced a little by several strands (including those of other genres). The book is currently undergoing some revision, and I've already made changes to the first two chapters, especially the beginning, going straight into Bill's first venture into the past. The scene setting is still included, though slightly shortened, and I'm thinking of ways the gist of it can be dispersed into the later chapters. Many thanks for backing the book. I'll take a look at yours in return!

Hi there, I came across this by accident and was interested in the premise so couldn't wait to read. My first reaction is its a great idea, even if a bit reminiscent of Michael J Fox's experiences in Back to the Future. It's well written and intriguing, but I would lose the setting the scene altogether and start at the crux of the storyline. Happy to back this and good luck

Hi Rick

I love this! I have rarely read this far into a novel posted on this site- I just kept going. Playing with time isn't an unusual concept (you yourself use examples such as Back to the Future) but I like how this is set in an 'ordinary' setting. No frills and grand atmosphere, just a place and situation and life we can all identify with. Very well done. This is a great comfort read- a book to take to bed while it's pouring with rain outside and we want to snuggle down and get lost!

I have no trouble backing this.
All the best
Elaina
(House of Valla)

Hi Jeff,
Yes, I take your point entirely. I'll have a go at reworking it - probably by reversing and modifying the first two chapters, or maybe even dispersing the material in chapter one among some of the later ones. I'll see what I can do, but don't expect anything too soon!
Thanks.
Rick.

Rick,
I love the idea for this story. It does have a bit of a Back to the Future tone to it and I think that these kinds of stories are great avenues to take you into marvelous reflections of the past. This is truly wonderful, but I have a couple of ideas I would like to suggest. Your chapter one....it gives credit where credit it due and will certainly be something to include in a book because it is important. Here, it will annoy people. My recommendation is that you get straight to the story. Bill is cycling home and absent-mindedly ends up in the past. We are hooked. The things you have preceding this don't entice the reader to keep going. Also, the explanation of pet names is endearing, but brings the astonishment of your main character to a screeching halt. I don't think you should cut it, but just find a better place to put it, perhaps a little further into the story. We want to experience Bill's reactions at the beginning, want to see him squirm. Moving this narrative will punch up your story a bit.
Otherwise, I really like this. I think you have a great story here. On my shelf. Jeff

Hi Rick,

Well, you certainly have the premise for a unique book, here:) While the story is interesting, I fear it may lose readers because of a trap most of us fall into from time to time - the dreaded "telling versus showing". You tend to tell the reader everything rather than let them experience the journey. I suspect it's because you have so much you want to get into the pages. Also, writing in the first person is a challenge for any writer. Because it keeps us in one person's head, there's a chance of readers turning out. Like it or not, we live in a 2-second video/audio soundbite society and books that proceed at a slower pace only seem to be appreciated by a few. The way of the world.

At any rate, I do think the overall tale is quite good and wish you loads of success with it.

Cheers,
Ci

Hi Ci,

Thanks for the comments - all very useful to keep in mind. This book has been (self-)published, and while it hasn't exactly been a best seller, I've had a fair few appreciative comments from different readers. One person said she found it 'confusing', but other than that no overtly negative criticisms - maybe they're all being too polite! That's one of the benefits of Authonomy - people are not afraid to say what they think!

Cheers,

Rick.

Hi Rick,

Well, you certainly have the premise for a unique book, here:) While the story is interesting, I fear it may lose readers because of a trap most of us fall into from time to time - the dreaded "telling versus showing". You tend to tell the reader everything rather than let them experience the journey. I suspect it's because you have so much you want to get into the pages. Also, writing in the first person is a challenge for any writer. Because it keeps us in one person's head, there's a chance of readers turning out. Like it or not, we live in a 2-second video/audio soundbite society and books that proceed at a slower pace only seem to be appreciated by a few. The way of the world.

At any rate, I do think the overall tale is quite good and wish you loads of success with it.

Cheers,
Ci