A Lever Long Enough

Has another week gone by? Well, the weekend is upon us. What a great time to grab a cup of ice tea, comfy chair, and help us noobies get noticed by reading our work. If you are interested in this, please pick a book and let me know what you think. I would appreciate all comments and help . . . blessings, Pam

Oh, Amy. This is so fine. Fascinating stuff. I love time travel books and this is the genre at its best. No wonder you got so many good reviews on Amazon.

Your writing shines--love sentences like "the sky was bruising dark as the sun fell..." Your opening chapter is definitely a cliff hanger. I've been to Masada and the Dead Sea and your descriptions are dead on and perfect. The plot is gripping, the writing is crisp and fast paced. I've read three chapters so far and I want this book. Can't say enough about it.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

This is a book that I would like to have written myself. The idea of a time machine to take us back to see what really happened in the past has endless possibilities, and this particular time and place would have to be top of the list for most people. I would not be at all surprised to see A Lever Long Enough becoming a best seller if you can only get past the initial hurdle of getting a publisher to look at it.
Good luck and best wishes. Phil. (Hallam's Ghosts)

Anyone who starts with a quote from Archimedes gets my vote. The premise of this story is fascinating. This reads very well and I want to find out what it is all about. I'm not so keen on the amount of information you give to the reader in Ch3 as this acts as a brake. Happy to back you.

Hi Amy

I love the premise and it immediately made me want to read. The prose is easy to read and the characters are engaging. The only downside for me is the length of time it takes to get to the actual event ... FlashBack. For me, I would have liked to have gotten there sooner ... after all, that's the hook for the book.

Great read though and happy to back this.. Best of luck - Glenn

Hi Amy,
Great premise and interestingly written - shelved.

I thought that ch3 had a little too much infomation dumping. I prefer to see that sort of thing brought up as and when it fits in with the action, but I'm also guilty of doing it myself

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Hi Amy!

This is an interesting twist for a sci-fi novel, and because of that I believe this has a lot of potential to do well. Your pitch is good - way to draw the reader in! Benjamin is a great main character and leader of the pack. The action and compelling characters you've spun in your story will keep your reader engaged and turning the pages. Great job with this - backed!

Kim
Invisible Justice

This is an intriguing concept for a novel. The greatest story/mystery of all time in a science fiction novel that parallels future technology with the ancient past. I guess resurrecting from the dead is a sci-fi idea too. Never thought of Jesus's ressurection that way. WL.

Lever - Deardon

Instant shelve!

Ann

Hey... you're dropping!!! 34 places. I'm keeping you on my shelf, though. Just in case it helps. Might I suggest you add a few more chapters and rekindle interest? (okay, I'm dying to see more).

My Best,

Kerry B. Rogers, Author
The Occuscript
An Epic Fantasy Adventure

Amy,

I have been obsessed reading this masterpiece. It reads like a movie--minimilistic verbally (which may put some off but heightened the excitement for me). The premise is intriguing to the point of annoyance... that I only have 48 chapters I can read, here.

Perhaps the most important thing to me was that you skillfully teased me with just enough information to entice without giving the goods away. Normally, I'm pretty good at figuring out a plot long before reaching the midpoint in a story. In this instance, you have kept me baffled while keeping me addicted, plot-wise.

I hate you.

But I love the story! Well done.

Hi Amy, Just read the first 15 chapters - very compelling. Will be back for more. Shelved!

I intended to read a few chapters and move on - although your subject matter greatly intrigues me. I'm reluctantly forcing myself to stop even though, as the story unfolds, and the plot thickens, it is becoming an increasingly difficult to do.

Great story - very well thought out. Then beginning was a bit difficult to follow, but like a good movie, it moved along at a quick enough pace for me to not lose interest.

Shelved (and I hope for a break in my catching-up with reads, to come back and finish what you have posted)
Best wishes for your success.

tyler
In Search of Me / Alex

A Lever Long Enough

Hi Amy, This should be higher in the charts than it is. The title for one is great and the premise is brilliant. I like your quick and pacy descriptions, action-packed sentences in what I sense will be an action-packed book. You have taken so big old and well-used themes and plot-lines, time travel and religious history but I already have a sense after only a couple of chapters that they are fresh and interesting in your hands. Good writing, fits your genre perfectly and I will shelve this right now, well done - Andrew W.

I liked this. And quite honestly I'm having trouble figuring why. I had a little trouble following what was going on in terms of plot though in some ways I didn't mind.

You know, I think it is your gift for narrative and setting description:

"The ancient Qumran mountains were hard and dusty, fists of rock pushing upwards to strike the face of the sky."

Your writing is smooth, graceful, lyrical--a bit like the paragliders you are describing.

I sense Benjamin's admiration for Sara, and that relationship intrigues me.

I think the main issue I saw in this opening scene is the lack of an inciting incident actually in the scene itself. It appears the incident is yet to come in Chapter 2. There is an implied danger to Sara in terms of her reckless gliding but other than that, nothing seems to rather kick off the main plot either.

I'd recommend that you perhaps add a true incident here--perhaps Rebecca does get injured?--or start a bit closer to the action. Just a thought.

Other than that, Lever is a finely wrought bit of writing that, as I say, is quite a joy to read for its polish and beauty. SHELVED.

All best to you,
~Cheri

P.S. Love your book's title.

A well woven tale and told in a brisk and enticing style. Shelved.

-Jenny-
'Bringing home the stars'

Read the first six chapters and it is shaping up nicely. Plenty of intregue, sub plots and background subtily in place to grip a readers attention as well as hold onto it. You also have a good pace that continues throughout again just the thing to keep the public entralled.WLed

I enjoyed the opening chapter. It had the right level of tension, character baseline and exposition.

I found a grammatical nit:

Benjamin shook his head. “She flies that thing like it was a part of her.” He saw his pilot, Caleb Mendel, glance over at him.

There are mixed tenses in this sentence. Flies (present) and was (past).

One style nit:
Then the pilot made a sudden move.

“Sudden move” is too vague. Did her jerk his head? Whip his arm against something? Stiffen in his seat?

Plausibility nit:
The pilot stared hard at the residential building through his infrared goggles, as if trying to see the afterimage of something fleeting. Benjamin hadn’t seen anything himself.

This is too specific of an assumption for the POV character to make. It’s very close to mind reading.

Overall, this is a great story so far. Good job!

Rian

Amy,
A well told story. You write somewhat like I do, an economy of words. Your writing is brisk, the chapters short, this moves along well and it doesn't feel sparse, it feels just right.
I would like to come back and read much more of this, but this month I have to keep a steady pace up.
My only concern is that the Jewish conversion to The Way is an intregal plot point that I would like to see explained a bit more in chapter 3. This seems like a HUGE cultural and religious shift to take place without more explanation. I had a third great grandfather that gave up his Jewish faith to convert to Christianity, so I can imagine how big a leap this would be for a significant group of Jews to do.
Other than that, wonderful story, well told and on my shelf.
PS: I love the title, it's something I first heard from my father when I was a boy.
Good luck with this,
Jeff

Dear Amy,
I like the beginning of this. What I like about it, is that it has perfect pace. You set the scene of the landscape and then our eyes soar with the narrator to the sky. Our first glimpse of Sara gives us a great insight into her character in a single image – this is wonderfully done.
The way that the paraglider is ‘part of her’ and the fact that she’s a daredevil or a thrill-seeker is great action combined with great character development.
There’s a nice gentle pace to your writing but at the same time you seem to pack in plenty of action – all of a sudden we’re in Jerusalem and there’s a mysterious data capsule – again this trick is deftly pulled off.
You also tease us about the relationship between your narrator and Sara. ‘Don’t think about her’ and yet clearly he can think of little else.
This is riveting stuff, on my shelf and deffo going to read more.
Kipper

Hi Amy.

The intensity of your narrative estblishes the significance of retrieving the disk. You style of writing is smooth and glides from one sensation to the next. Your plot is full of cunning, sabotage and expertise which makes for a thrilling adventure. You push your characters into the greatest amount of risk and then you raise the stakes. Very well developed.

On my shelf. Good luck.

Janet Marie- Spirit Prisoners.

Highly exciting, Amy. An in depth story line with a twist to the tale. The build up to the first century past is so well done that I was eager to be there sooner. Once there, perhaps a bit more colour would be welcome - it's not often we are invited into that part of the world to see it as it happens. Your technical knowledge of biology and medicine is expertly weaved into the storyline. Not too much to bore, but enough to inform. Shaping up well as a complex thriller, Shelved,
Scott.

A unique angle to the story with good character development and a thrilling plot. Well written. Shelved.
Nancy

I've just read the first 2 and a half chapters, and you've definitely got me interested in what comes next. It's going on my bookself because what I've read so far is enough for me to want to read the rest.

This should be a movie. You've got enough reviews both here and on Amazon that I'm not going to go too deeply into the critique. I will say that what I read was engrossing, although the dialogue was a bit staccato.

The unfortunate part of my style is to "explain". You've pretty much dispensed with the explanations. For example when discussing the Third Temple and the people of the Way and the priests (which don't exist now of course), you did it in about 2-3 paragraphs. I might have gone deeper into what the problem with a third temple was.

These are minor differences and not criticisms. I wish you well. As I said, from what I read so far, this could be a movie. You'd get some shelf time on my revolving shelf.

Hi Amy,
Wonderful book you have here! I absolutely love the setting. You do a great job of describing it. Your premise is amazing! I thought your pacing was perfect, too. I don't have any complaints. It's gotta have a turn on my shelf. I'd love your thoughts on Turning Red if you have a moment to look.

Amy!

Excellent! Very impressive writing. Your scenes are well placed, your characters are genuine, nice historical and political intrigue, and the setting is a story unto itself. I can easily see this in hard-cover form, and would be pleased to purchase a copy!

Wil you sign it for me?? Backed with pleasure.

Karen

dear amy
i like this enormously. a really fascinating premise and well-written dialogue. even the sci-fi element did not cause me to fall into a coma as so often. nope, i was already engaged and up there with them, or sitting with gideon. i don't have anything helpful to say except what a interesting book. there is of course space on my shelf.

hope you like BLOGSPOT when you get to it.
xx
maitreyi
BLOGSPOT

I've read your first three chapter and enjoyed them very much. This seems very much like a great adventure story plus some romance, with a serious issue as a backdrop to make the larger point. I think you are off to a good start in quickly establishing the characters of Benjamin and Sara, as well as their budding relationship. I am a bit confused as to Benjamin's superior, Raseac, and what his role is.

You mix dialogue and narrative well, using the dialogue to build each character, relationships and to advance the plot. One suggestion: In my opinion, you don't need all these small paragraphs separated by so much white space. Occasionally, when you need to make a dramatic point, a one-sentence paragraph, even if it is only a phrase, can be powerful. But you have so many of them that you run a danger of having the format take attention away from the story.

But that is a quibble.

The fact that I kept reading through chapter 3, your dialogue, your characters, your overall plot and more lead me to believe that you have a winner here. Shelved.

Amy,

I just read through three chapters of 'A Lever Long Enough' and it is definitely good writing. This is not my genre and I have been holding off reading it, putting other stories that are more in my genre of books ahead of it, but I can say, as I have before here, that good writing trumps all and yours is very good; you have excellent dialogue, characters and a great story idea that may beg a time machine; as H.G. Wells might say. I put it on my shelf and wish you great success in your journalistic endeavours in the future.

Kind Regards,

Keith G.

Fascinating idea. I can find hardly a wasted word in the description and the sense of building momentum is perfect.
Some of the dialogue could use a little tightening as there are places where it is a bit too naturalistic and repetitive and tends to slow down the otherwise excellent pace.

Well, I have just finished reading the first chapter. Throughout it, I was conscious of a growing feeling that I was finding it a little long and too detailed. It hadn't gripped me within a few paragraphs, as i normally expect a book to do; and as I expected it would, given the storyline.

THEN I read the last few lines of the chapter, got hooked and knew immediately that I wanted to read more -so am Shelving it!

Anthony
(Houses of Sand )

I have nothing constructive to add -- rare, as you can see by the comments I make for other books -- other than a big ol' Bravo and an invitation to take a spin on my shelf.

Very well done.

Jonathan
"Martuk ... The Holy"

This is brilliant, really. I was completely drawn in, this is right up my street. Just checking if it's complete...right, am going on Amazon! I have nothing but praise. Sorry, most unhelpful! Great stuff, on my shelf!
Bests,
AnnabelleP
(Adelaide Short)

Woo - where's this been hiding? Timeline crossed with conspiracy theories. Going to break my rules and back this on the strength of the pitch and a skim read of the first page and read/comment later

Very compelling subject. Well written. You really draw the reader in and give the sensation of time running out. When they ask you those questions in courses, Who would you like to meet - I always say, Jesus, but he's got to tell me the truth!

It's an excellent idea and well excuted.

On my Watch List, till I make room on my shelf.

Joanna

This is the kind of idea I've always wanted to come up with. Bloody great execution too. Genius or heresy? Who cares? It's a fabulous genre smashing read.

Hi Amy

Just had a chance to read your book.

Having a background in psychology and sociology, i was able to recall the discussions that centred around religion. These included the stolen body hypothesis and whether Jesus was in fact schizophrenic.

I therefore like your take on the scientists trying to obtain evidence that the body was stolen using the time machine. You have given great detail with regards to the political map that was represented and also the way in which you have incorporated scientific/ medical terms (niadezolam) such as the work of Ballard and Philip K Dick.

The book raises many moral questions (in the book itself and within the mind of the reader) on whether it is right to search for the truth in matters such as this or should all be left alone. That's what is intriguing about your book. We want to know what really happened, but part of us feels that we are venturing into territory that could unleash more.

Added to my shelf

Many thanks and good luck.

Ed Quinn (Donkeys kill more people)

Lots of politics, action, back-handedness, fear....on and on! This is original and has huge scope. I am at the end of chapter 5 and thought I'd comment now before getting on with boring life's duties...and am shelving this! But I will be back to read on - need to experience the Flashback!!!!

Cheers
Elaina
Gathering of Rain

On the shelf, this is excellent and well written. Right from the poetic first paragraph you've crafted a fine story. All the best, Eric

Amy,

What a delightful read! The prose are tight and clean, the dialogue believable, and the pacing perfect. I like the main character already.

Nicely done!

You're on my shelf.

ML

This is rivetting. The short sell is intriguing and original and the writing is taut and controlled. On my shelf to continue reading. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)