Book Jacket

 

rank 3983
word count 131098
date submitted 22.04.2009
date updated 26.04.2009
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, ...
classification: universal
complete

Within a Sheltering Darkness

Alan Havorka

A nearly perfect world of endless night holds answers for one stranded man: Every reflection, no matter how imperfect, hints at that which casts it.

 

As astronaut Alex Boten prepares for a test of a cutting-edge quantum physics system that should herald the unlimited exploration of space, a cascade failure begins. In the catastrophe’s culmination, he is propelled 50,000 light years away from Earth—into orbit above planet known as Mirrus, a pre-renaissance world where people live in perpetual night. There, the sailing ship Ammanon Deloré is set for a dangerous voyage, chartered by a man who has brought his people into an era of scientific understanding. This scientist has a secret—a secret that troubles both him and the planet's ruling elite. Hoping the Deloré's journey might resolve the questions this secret poses, the authorities sweep aside objections and approve the charter. During the expedition, startling phenomena suggest the imminent fulfillment of the people's most ancient prophecies. When Alex is discovered by Mirrus' human-like inhabitants, they try to cast him in a role he feels honor bound to refuse—if he can. Through all this, Alex must deal with the ghosts of his own past, and his reactions to a culture disorientingly idyllic, a culture near perfection—but a culture with its own secrets, its own shame, and a history that threatens them all.

 
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tags

dysfunction, faith, fantasy, fatherhood, loss, science fiction

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66 comments

 

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lisawb wrote 645 days ago

Having read alot of Asimov books in the past this reminded me of them. You have a good style and it comes across as authentic. The detail is superb, you must have worked hard on the research, and your cover is very eye catching. I wish you well.

Backed,

Lisa

TalulaJane wrote 652 days ago

This first chapter made me imagine what it must truly be like to be so far from home and have a family member so ill. For me it would be a challenge to write about space, astronauts, etc but you make it look effortless!
Carrie
The Darkwood Tales: Demouri's Defeat

nsllee wrote 663 days ago

Hi Alan

This is a fascinating idea, really professionally executed. I can't understand why it's not higher up the rankings unless it's just because you're not actively pushing it on this site. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

Burgio wrote 678 days ago

SHELTERING DARKNESS
This is an interesting book. You obviously put in hours of research before you sat down to write this and it shows in the detail you’re able to bring to the story. You have a good main character in Alex. I like the feisty way he questions procedures before lift-off. I’m not sure you need to list all the terms to be used in the story up front altho I think they do contribute to the authentic feeling of this. I think you’ll find a sci-fi audience who eat this up. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

scatteredfrost wrote 699 days ago

Hi Alan

Within the Sheltering Darkness is a great sci-fi read. Your cover is amazing. You are a very talented writer. The only thing I have to question is a 131K graphic novel?? Wouldn't want to drop that on my toe.

backed
Pamela Frost
aka scatteredfrost
Houses of Cards

jfredlee wrote 700 days ago

Alan -

This is a gripping, fast paced piece of intelligent sci-fi. Somebody tell Clarke and Asimov there's a new sheriff in town.

Delighted to back Sheltering Darkness, and if you haven't already done so, I would love it if you could take a look at my book.

Best of luck with it.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

tyleradams wrote 702 days ago

Tough to stop reading this one. The beginning seemed a bit slow, but once it got rolling toward the end of the first chapter, it was a trill a minute.

Backed

tyler (Almost Straight)

Owen Quinn wrote 718 days ago

A good example of never judge by appearances and how oner life can affect the other in ways we cannot comprehend even across the stars. Love accidents that send you miles from home, it makes the situation more more dramatic and the hero more sympathetic. The aliens are well thought out and although I haven't found the secret yet, I can't wait to see.

CarolinaAl wrote 720 days ago

Alex is likable and well-rounded. Your imagery is cinematic. For example, your description of 'The Nest.' You enrich your splendid narrative with solid science, apt references to mythology and clever similies such as 'It was like she had been absorbing the death around her.' Your conversations are believable and interesting. Your world building is awesome. Your pacing held my attention.

Nits:
1) "Thanks" Alex said. Comma after 'thanks.'
2) "Good morning Alex." Comma after 'morning.'

This is compelling, intelligent science-fiction. Backed.

delhui wrote 742 days ago

Dear Alan --
The research you've done coupled with your strong writing style lend your sci-fi adventure an authenticity; I was put in mind of Isaac Asimov. Happy to back you! -- Delhui

Please consider a look at The Long Black Veil; we would appreciate your comments. Thanks!

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 743 days ago

Extremely well researched, well thought about work in detail seldom encountered in literature. Backed with pleasure. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Rakhi wrote 747 days ago

This story begins in such an authentic manner that if it weren't for the fantasy aspect of the orbit beyond planet, I would have taken this to be a real mission. You definitely know your subject and the ease with which your writing flows, it seems your research is thorough. When writing Sci-fi, I feel a certain level of genuiness should appear for a reader to accept the fantasy aspect and you certainly acheive that.
Your MC, Alex Boten is fantastic and what caught my attention most was that this new destination/orbit is in total darkness. I wanted to be reminded of that constantly.
Backed with immense pleasure. I'm glad ancient reader is recommending this.
Rakhi (Sir William, An Urbane Knight)

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 751 days ago

I like your beautiful color - the spiral blue is very eye catching. Your pitch is excellent. You might try breaking it into smaller paragraphs for easier reading. Very nice job! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

carlashmore wrote 756 days ago

This is an amazing slice of Science fiction. The pitch is just wonderful, immediately caught my eye, and your prose didn;t disappoint. Very intelligent, impeccably researched and epic in scale. Your prose i saccessible enough to be enjoyed by a layman and I think this could do very well here.
carl
The Time Hunters

Balepy wrote 771 days ago

Alan you certainly have a friend in the Ancient Reader! I have dipped into your engrossing book, what a huge amount of research you have done - and you display your knowledge in an easy, competent style. Backed with pleasure and hope you will "take off" very soon! Balepy (Freckles the Fawn"

Jim Darcy wrote 786 days ago

Came to this through Ancient Reader and so glad I did! Excellent, Sci-fi of the first order and just up my street. Don't know why it's not doing better here on site with the sci-fi and fantasy crew. Off to try to see the pictures, doesn't like links on this computer though sometimes. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

soutexmex wrote 802 days ago

Kinda out ofmy element with Sci Fi but good writing is good writing and you can spin this yarn. I will SHELVE if only because I like the writing. Think you can do better with those pitches though.

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

bonalibro wrote 803 days ago

This is an exceptionally well-written book, with a very interesting if somewhat self-pitying main character. Makes him all the more interesting, considering he IS an astronaut.

Nick Poole2 wrote 824 days ago

This is a labour of love. There's a lot of preamble and set up and detail which will work very well in a book, bit like Maps of middle eart and family trees. But on this site I think get to the story.

You have an "easlly accessible style", which is good news for both you and the reader.

It's an Epic though, and deserves your epic treatment. I will back it wholeheartedly. Even the title sounds epic. backed earlier today.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky" (if you get a chance to peek)

wordreiver wrote 829 days ago

Very nice writing style. Easy to read with good pace and rhythm. Your dialogue is natural and the story strong. A compelling read that I shall return to. Good luck.

Sheila Belshaw wrote 834 days ago

WITHIN A SHELTERING DARKNESS;

Alan,

A compelling pitch that presents your main character with a plethora of almost impossible goals - a surefire setup to pave the way for a novel to satisfy the needs of every lover of adventure - especially sci-fi devotees.

The writing is well-paced with prose that seems to roll off your pen with the greatest of ease - the sign of a good writer. The dialogue is crisp and immediate, and there's a good mix of action and dialogue.

Your research has clearly been done with loving care and attention to detail. Most impressive.

With all due respect to your meticulous explanations and dedications and cast lists, may I suggest that for the purposes of this site only, you start off straight into chapter one. After wading through all the initial information I was then so pleasantly surprised by the excellence of your writing and immediacy it created, that I feel very strongly that readers will be drawn into this very fine novel if it did not have the introductions.

I wish you all the luck in attracting the right publisher for this most enjoyable story.

Backed with pleasure.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Natasha Owens wrote 864 days ago

Alan, I like your story, it is very well written and so keeps the reader engaged. Backed.

Natasha (Water Under the Bridge...rises)

pakazo wrote 880 days ago

This reads exceptionally well. The story mixed in with the dialougue flows perfectly. It's belieavable and intelligent. I look forward to reading more of this.

SRFire wrote 886 days ago

Backed with pleasure. What an amazing amount of research you have done for this well-written book. Am thoroughly enjoying it. Best, Sana

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 890 days ago

Pure sci-fi. This reminds me of a great sci-fi writer, James P Hogan. It is wonderfully conceived and realised, detail and vision. Amazing.
Frank

scottkenny wrote 893 days ago

Hello Alan. For me, your book begins at chapter three, with the thoughts and then the wonderful letter of LD. At that point I can sense intrigue, personal turmoil, choices which turn on a pin and grave consequences. This is the stuff of human interest.
I'm not so keen on books which try to explain with information dumping, then give a list of characters. That can be sent to the back of the book for those who are interested. Would I read all that in a busy bookshop, with my patient partner who only wants to be home in front of the fire? Anyway, your pitch has already told me that the experiment goes awry.
I most certainly would read on though if I started at chapter three. I would read the whole chapter then buy the book.
Could the chapters be swapped, with less detail of the catastrophe?
Best wishes,
Scott.

Binky Myers wrote 893 days ago

This is an epic tale in every sense of the word. Underpinned with masterful and inventive description.
Your opening, with Alex [et al] testing the machine went on a tad long for me..But it’s not my genre and for those who eat sci fi for breakfast lunch and tea, I`m sure it will be manner from heaven.
Credible and implicitly planned so that the reader immediately feels a sense of confidence in the situation and new world that is being described.
I liked the use of journals to describe the society and hierarchy of Mirrus, again it adds gravitas to the story.
The conflict described in the correspondence between the wife and her husband reveals the tensions that the charter is causing and sets a hook for the readers continued attention.
I regret not having more time to spend on this book, for the moment I am very happy to back you and hope to return in order to read more.
Dawn : ARK

Onthedottedline wrote 900 days ago

It's a fascinating premise that unlimited space exploration should be facilitated by a scientific mishap, leading to the unlikely discovery of a hominid civilisation so far away in distance, yet so near in terms of their cultural development. But hey, this is sci fi, so we accept it with a huge pinch of salt and then start to believe. You write in a confident and clear style, with extremely strong descriptive passages, and vibrant dialogue. Your hero has to confront a series of huge challenges, as well as his own insecurities, and that endears him to the reader, and is a constant hook. I think this book will do very well, and I'm backing it. Best wishes, Tony.

Kim Jewell wrote 900 days ago

Hi Alan!

I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of real sci-fi, and so when I read your pitch and then your list of characters (and the imagination you put into the names and roles) I wondered if this read was beyond me. How surprised I was when I got into your writing and found it not only very polished, but easy to read and follow. You've put my mind right into the story, I enjoyed the descriptions and the characters you've created. Your dialogue seems authentic for the genre, but believable and easy to follow. Great job with this!

My only suggestion to you would be to section your pitch into multiple paragraphs - you'll find it will make the material easier to digest. It's the first real glimpse the reader gets at your storyline... Now, mind you, I think it's very well written and does a good job of showing the depth of struggles Alex will go through in the book. I love that you dangle that "secret" in the marketing hook - it's sure to capture the attention of the reader and make them want to plunge in! Great job - backed with pleasure!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Jane Alexander wrote 901 days ago

Another of Ancient Reader's grateful devotees here! I have to be upfront and say that SF is not my favourite genre but I can appreciate that this is a very polished and intriguing book. As a reader, I fear I skipped the initial bits and bobs as I wanted to get to the meat of the book (but I think SF readers will love the detail and care with which you've drawn this world). And the meat is good. Good realistic dialogue, believable characters and some nice pace.
My PC is having big problems right now so I wasn't able to pull up the graphics (only just about able to navigate on here) but I'd love to see those at a later date as I am hugely visual and gorgeous pictures will give everything a gloss for me.
However, I can only go on the writing for now and that, IMHO, is good.
Backed.
Jane
WALKER

FJ Watson wrote 905 days ago

Separate your catch into separate paragraphs to make it easier to read.

Gordon Long wrote 918 days ago

Dear Alan,

Having read your story, I now have some idea how to comment. In the first place, it's a great story, with a fascinating premise. You managed to restrain your tendency to sermonize for the greater part of it, excepting only Chapter 20, which took rather a long time to explain some fairly well-known concepts. Being of a somewhat academic bent, I enjoyed the philosophical discussion, but I question whether many readers would.

Your technique of starting the Mirrian section with all the letters and journals was an interesting technique, partially successful. I believe that a writer should use a revolutionary technique when that technique fulfills a specific purpose, one which normal writing does not perform as well. In this case, by using mostly formal writing, you have created a picture of a formal and bureaucratic society, with human interaction and emotion rigidly controlled. The downside to the technique is a fragmentation of points of view, and a dearth of personality information about the many characters. I think you have to ask yourself whether the tradeoff was worth it.

My other main concern with the story is your presentation of the setting. Your technique is to write a preface giving us all the factual information, then in the rest of the story ignore the most interesting element of their culture: their life in constant darkness. You thus do not take advantage of one of your most creative concepts, one which would make the writing richer. Remember, a large percentage of your readers won't read the preliminary stuff. They jump straight to the story.

Here are a few smaller issues I noticed:

Technical details of sailing; Ch 7: you can't tack 10 degrees either side of the wind, going upwind. If you're going downwind, you can gybe 10 degrees on either side. Ch 8 - In order to stop, you don't turn aside from the wind, you put the boat nose to the wind. A more complicated technique, but more effective, is to back the foresails.
You are rather loose with POV. There is one spot in Ch 15, where we catch the inner thoughts of two different people in two different paragraphs.
In Ch 16, how can Alex possibly see the sea? just how dark is it?
"Coronate"? Don't you mean "crown"?
I have read through it several times, and I still don't understand the second-last paragraph of Ch 22.

Last point, going back to the start; the hard SF in the beginning is far too detailed. There was so much technical description (beautifully presented though it was) in the firing sequence, that I didn't realize the importance of the decision to continue, and whose fault it was. Since this was the only part that had any significance in the rest of the story, it needed to be pointed up, not hidden in a mass of jargon.

I think this is a marvelous attempt, very creative, and while not everything worked perfectly, you get my support for trying.

Gordon Long
"A Sword Called…Kitten?"

Gordon Long wrote 919 days ago

Dear Alan,

I'm going to comment before I even start the book, because this is important, and has nothing to do with your story.

Get rid of all the opening material, except the explanation of the graphics problem. People read for recreation. They don't want to be given "recommended reading" before they start, and nobody wants to be told how to read a book. Save the names, etc, for those who want to look at them at the end. Good writers manage to put any important information of that sort into the body of the story. It's difficult, but it's one of the skills of writing.

Wouldn't hurt to break your pitch into paragraphs. If I was in a store, looking at book jackets, I would never read a chunk like that. Write your pitch like you're aiming at someone with the attention span of an ADHD twelve-year-old, and you won't be too far off.

Now I will forget this, read your story from Chapter 1, and judge it on its own merit.

Gordon Long

Ancient Woodland wrote 929 days ago

I've not seen this book's like in donkey's years, beautifully written, literary science-fiction of the sort that Clarke would be proud of. This is a book that you sit down with, as you would an old friend, before a roaring fire and a measure or two of your favourite tipple and expect to get thouroughly enthralled for the evening.
There is a theological lean to this story right from the start that gets more pronounced as the book continues and the MC struggles to avoid a religious clash as he is pronounced the main player of an ancient prophecy on a world thousands of light-years from his home.
This book is in no hurry, it takes its time and insidiously hooks the reader in a far deeper way than the majority of the rapid fire books the genre has produced lately. In short, if you love old school sci-fi - a thoroughly thought provoking read, you'll love this. In my mind, it is publishable as it stands.
Oh - and you'll love the setting :)
Highly recommended and shelved until I return and read from chapter 11 on (Nanowrimo is taking all my time this month).

InternetG33k wrote 949 days ago

Hi Alan,

I'm here at the behest of Ancient Reader, and after reading your first chapter, I can see why she's so entranced by this. My silly little book seems like a crayon drawing compared to your well-searched and skillful tome. I was disappointed that the website with the graphics (http://www.hadabase.com/WASD/Links) appears to be broken, but I'm selfishly glad - I get the feeling I'd feel so intimidated by your accompanying artwork that I'd hang up my pen for good! Best of luck with this, and on my shelf.

~Traci
Tangled Web

Ayrich wrote 966 days ago

quite the monumental effort. I can Respect that. on my shelf.

CharlieChuck wrote 967 days ago

From the start, you get the feeling this is going to be an epic read, a quarter of an hour read could never do this justice. They story starts well, we're quickly with Alex who is very likeable. This is very well written, enoguh detail to fill in the gaps, but not too much so to overload. It had enough atmosphere to really hook you in. I read to the end of chapter 1 and enjoyed it, despite me not being a huge SF fan.

Charlie

Freeman wrote 968 days ago

I am reading this in return for Ancient reader reading my book. I like sci-fi so I am happy. I read you pitch and was not sure how any world could exist in total darkness since the sun is so important to all life on earth.

I read most of the opening but skipped the translations. In printed form they would be fine but not good for screen reading.

I read through the first chapter and knew already that this is the type of book I would buy at the bookstore. There are some places it could be trimmed in the middle and I felt my attention slipping but I wanted to read more. I will back this and read a bit more.

Tony

Phyllis Burton wrote 969 days ago

Dear Alan,

A good start, well written and right into the action. Your imagination does you credit. I have always been a sci.fi. fan and this is every bit as good as other books I have read in the past. My son has followed in my footsteps and has actually written a sci.fi book and it is on this site. - (Alpha One - The Jump Pilot) perhaps you could read this one as well as mine - A Passing Storm. Not Sci.fi. Hope that you are not too busy...!
Good luck with this one. SHELVED (prior to reading more)...

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm

KJKron wrote 969 days ago

What you've done here is made Boten very human to us. He has a dying father and a sister who sits by his side. We feel what he feels - is there any point to questioning his father if he comes out of it. He daydreams; he has a sense of humor. He is likable. Then there are conflicts. Something is amiss. Arguments feel real. The letters in chapter three give us more insight. You've made something sophisticated accessable. I'm going to shelf this. Well done.

Bob Steele wrote 978 days ago

'Ancient Reader' referred me to Within a Sheltering Darkness. It is top drawer sci-fi, with sufficient grounding in the familiar to ensure that the future technology and the alien world are easy to buy into from the outset. I was nervous about the initial format, but it worked well and the story flowed smoothly. You have a good balance between narrative and dialogue, you create and maintain a level of tension that kept me turning the pages, and you maintain a consistent and credible 'world view' against which the story unfolds. I'd buy this, so I'm happy to back it.

hot lips wrote 979 days ago

This is real science fiction for the true enthusiast. It is very well written and clearly a labour of love. I am very happy to back this.
BADD

Steve Ward wrote 980 days ago

Alan, someone recommended your book to me and I'm not disappointed. I worked for JSC many years ago and invented an automated docking system called DROID. Just read your first chapter and it all sounds so real you must be a NASA insider, the imagination can only go so far. This is great reading for those inspired by aerospace, as so many are. The point of view drifts around a little but the characters seem very real and the technical goodies sound authentic. I plan to read more of this later.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Cas P wrote 987 days ago

Hi Alan.

Well I'm no techy so I can't comment on that side of the book. It all sounded fine and made sense as far as I was able to tell. Impressed the hell out of me, in fact!

As for the rest, I found it a highly polished, totally professional piece of writing. What I look for in a good read are believable characters, realistic dialogue and intriguing interaction. I got all three from this. In fact, the contrast between Alex's worry over his sister, the clear issues with his father (which threaten to go unresolved) and the domestic asides about his wife very nicely counterbalance the technical bits. And the systems errors at the end of ch 1 provide a good hook by raising concerns about Alex's safety.

I only saw one possible nit and that was that you refer to Alex as both 'Commander Boten' and 'Captain Boten.' If there was a reason for this, I failed to grasp it.

Otherwise, I thought this was truly impressive, better than many published books I've read. I did try the link to the graphics but it wouldn't work.
I have shelved this with pleasure.
Cas.
KING'S ENVOY

Richard Allen wrote 987 days ago

Alan, I think all will agree you have talent. Alex is an engaging MC and the techno babble is exceptional – but is it all necessary. I love SF and skipped ahead to see where you were going with this and was impressed.
However, the journey to the good stuff is like “a bridge to far”. Consider leaving many of the Hermes technical problems on the editing floor. You also provide a 'list' of problems (in section 1) that is in a lighter colour and almost impossible to read from a laptop.

Your dialogue is excellent at times and clunky elsewhere, particularly during the hospital scene, which could be shortened or deleted. If the idea is to 'show' Alex feels guilty for taking his shift, you made your point but almost lost me as a reader.

There are numerous POV violations. Who is talking, thinking and feeling gets very confusing at times and that is distracting. Try to remember whose voice you are in during a scene and stay with that character. If you want to switch to another character’s thoughts, feelings, visuals or the like, show a break in the narrative (capitalize the first few words of the relevant paragraph or use a number sign # or asterisk * to denote a change between scenes) .

The first two chapters are full of too much detail that we don’t really need to know. R.U.E. (resist the urge to explain ) in Chapter 2 is almost overwhelming to a reader: Yes, the Hermes has a problem and nobody knows how to fix it.

The bottom line: this very interesting novel has great potential but requires considerable editing and tightening. It will remain on my WL for further review at a later date.

Good luck with this.

Sheila Belshaw wrote 994 days ago

Alan,

Extremely well structured and beautifully written. An amazing concept and an intriguing world. I congratulate you on this.

I would respectfully suggest that you make your introduction an afterward, and if you really think you need a cast list, have this at the back too. Most readers want to plunge straight into the story, and don't like to be told to read all your necessary information at that stage. From what I've heard, most editors will tell you that the story itself should tell it all.

In any case, I would like to bet that the average reader will find out everything they want to know from what is quite clearly an excellent piece of writing.

Good luck with this.

Backed with pleasure.

Sheila
Pinpoint (a psychological thriller)

Isabelle Adams wrote 1053 days ago

It took me a little while to get to this, and I wish it hadn't. The atmosphere you create is just brilliant, conveying how dangerous it is, how hopeless it seems to feel and their despair when they realise that they can't bring Alex back. It's absolutely heartbreaking, and I'm definitely going to read more. First I'm going to put this on my shelf.

kgadette wrote 1055 days ago

Dear Alan,
The opening: Too much time spent on musing of the spaceship names. I'm not pulled in.
"Focus" – exactly. I feel like this first chapter is all over the place, without focus.
Great line: The reference to Abbey being cold, like she had been absorbing death all around her.
There is so much technical detail in this first chapter, my mind kept wandering. Hard to concentrate. I don't care about the details, not yet. I want to know about the people, the risks, what's at stake.
I don't understand the input of lists of irregularities and undiagnosed problems. Great for a technical manual, but not a novel.
Generally, this first chapter is both cerebral and technical. Neither of which grabs me as a reader, compelling me forward. But I'm just one reader; I may not be your ideal audience. But the work is evident; suggest you might retool your opening. I see from your own comments below that you laid tech groundwork in the first three chapters in order to get to the story later. Oops. In today's slam-bam market, that simply won't work. Agents/editors are notorious for looking at the first 3-5 pages only. If they're not riveted by then, they pass. Wishing you all the best with your work.

The Marshal wrote 1059 days ago

Dear Alan, This is great stuff. You do a wonderul job of painting a real character. I love the technical stuff. I'm a techie, myself. Ominous stuff. Going to look at the images now and back your book.

Gideon McLane wrote 1067 days ago

Within a Sheltered Darkness - Alan Havorka. I read the forward, cast of characters and chapter 1; scanned the 2nd chapter and several comments. This would interest real sci-fi junkies or perhaps Trekkies. The technical detail you've written implies a great amount of research and/or space program knowledge. Bookshelf for very technical plot that one doesn't often see.

Some thoughts: the forward is very technical and dry which could put off the average reader, but I suspect your target audience would enjoy it; shouldn't Boten be included in the main cast of characters?: chapter 1 - "Captain Boten" was "Commander Boten" before; suggest new paragraph "His mind drifted.." to send reader to past and let the reader know about returning to the present - perhaps "Alex returned to the present when the techs connected up the last of his lines...." This kind of book would have a very narrow audience - you might be able to market it at sci-fi conventions.

Gideon
The Oil Market Czar

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