Book Jacket

 

rank 1711
word count 77349
date submitted 23.04.2009
date updated 16.07.2011
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Historic...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Spirit of the Butterfly.

Margaret Anthony.

London provides grinding poverty for those who live just below the veneer of respectable society. Hunger and disease prevail and the workhouse offers no comfort.

 

It is 1830 and young, naive, Molly and Reb leave Leicestershire to seek better prospects in the capital. On the road, their dreams are destroyed by those who haunt the highway seeking the vulnerable.

Reb is brutally murdered and Molly, snatched against her will, finds herself in wretched circumstances living with the unscrupulous Batts. Under his tuition, she becomes a reluctant whore. Her new way of life puts food in her belly but threatens to destroy her soul.

An outbreak of cholera finally gives her freedom but it is a lonely existence when the few friends she relies on are lost to her, one after the other. Forced to live on the streets, she must survive as best she can.

Her attempts to become respectable fail, her love for others thwarted and her faith is all but gone. Responsible for her future and now her sister's child, Eliza, she turns once more to the only thing she can be sure of, the skills she learnt in a sordid tenement in Wapping.

Fate, it seems, enjoys playing a fickle game with Molly Crane.








 
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tags

cholera, coaching inns, cut purses, death, disease, ladies of pleasure, mid-19th century london, reunion., work house

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410 comments

 

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Silentnovelist wrote 433 days ago

The Spirit of the Butterfly

It is a pleasure to return to the Spirit of the Butterfly. I don’t know if you’ve been editing since my last reading but the beginning seems different and it is so polished I wouldn’t be surprised.
I’m still a little awed by the research you must have had to do to create a work of such vivid authenticity. You draw the reader in to your opening scene by such exquisite if sometimes horrific and unexpected detail – the curd of decaying slops, the corpse dangled without purpose, the overpowering stench that clawed the air, liquid mud that slurped through her shoes. You have set a vivid scene and have a rare gift for imagery that makes this come alive, sweeping us up and dropping us into another time.
Molly’s adoration for Reb is touching and true – I was never comfortable unless he was close.
And then Reb is slaughtered in a horrifying attack. You spare us nothing! You have a wonderful skill for close observations, horrifying, gory details, sometimes but so real and true to the time, that this marvellous story is like a vivid tapestry, alive with rich authentic details that draw us right into your period drama. Heartbreaking end to chapter three. You write beautifully, Margaret, and I hope to see this in print.
Diana

Stark Silvercoin wrote 500 days ago

The Spirit of the Butterfly is historical and literary fiction at its best. Author Margaret Anthony has truly captured the horrors (and small joys) of London in the 1830’s. The main character of Molly Crane is wonderful. You really feel for her and everything she is going through. Her struggle keeps you reading as much as the detailed descriptions of the period. One wonders if somehow Anthony actually lived in that time, or simply did tons of research to make the story so vivid and true. Either way, The Spirit of the Butterfly has great heart and will find a wide audience.

Jehmka wrote 502 days ago

“Like Sara and I, he knew better than to argue when mother’s voice was as sharp as an icicle and just as cold.”

Here’s how I select a book when in a shop. Read the pitch. Does the premise interest me? Open the book and read the first couple paragraphs. So much is revealed at the opening. Go deeper into the book and sample a paragraph or two… and some dialogue. I’m looking for interesting, and effective word choices. I love a thoughtful analogy that draws emphasis to truth… truth being the single most important element. My daughter tells me that “poetry” gets in the way of the story. I’m afraid that most consumers of books would agree, but I love words.

I read the first two chapters of Margaret Anthony’s The Spirit of the Butterfly. It is now on my shelf and will be on my WL for a long time to come. I’m a slow reader, but I want to read it all. I find the story most intriguing. The settings are vivid. The narrative and dialogue are convincing. But then the wording... the narrative borders on poetry. I am compelled to add that it is very well edited, too. If you are an agent, or publisher, or editor or such, I beg you, give this a proper home in print, as I prefer my books that way.

Geoff wrote 504 days ago

Margaret,
A first class story that captures the period and your writing flows for the reader.
I hope you get it published soon, I can not think of a reason why it shouldn't - other than agent & publisher blindness . . . . .
Backed without a problem :-o)
cheers
Geoff
Ice King

mounterna wrote 526 days ago

The Spirit of the Butterfly
Chapter 2

The rapidity of the scarlet fever is shocking to behold, but to witness the ‘malignant’ ague in both parents simultaneously is truly horrifying. From the sore throat through to the fine rash and swollen tongue, the reader almost suffocates in this claustrophobic double death-bed, as fiery delirium turns to 'mumbling stupor'.

A burst of hope hits us as the mother briefly rallies and sixteen year-old Molly struggles frantically to give her strength. But it is all in vain, and cruelly distracts Molly from her father’s death. The intensity of this loss is immediately shown with the simple, yet incredibly potent line: ‘I held his hand until it went stiff.’

‘Please don’t take them both!’ seems to echo around the room, but is drowned out by the dissonant rasps and harsh gurgles of ma’s agonal breathing – ‘awash in her own fluids’.

Then nothing. ‘The response was silence.’ There’s no time to mourn; no time for sentiment. What follows is the washing and changing of the corpses ‘like a clockwork toy’ followed by a hasty burial. Only the wind seems to mourn as it taunts ‘the chill grey headstones of the dead.’


This is writing of the finest calibre. Atmospheric, brooding and immensely powerful. I shall enjoy reading more of this epic tale and wholeheartedly recommend it to others. This has all the makings of a true masterpiece.

Dr. Norman Mounter

Neville wrote 71 days ago

Spirit of the Butterfly.
by Margaret Anthony.

Hi margaret,
I Have read part of your book before and have returned to it. You have written a brilliant, captivating and descriptive book. You paint some of the most vivid pictures of early London, leaving nothing out however gruesome.
I enjoyed the story behind your book, the down-trodden life of Molly and her so called friends, the slaying of Reb leading to the debauchery of Molly. I kept in mind the fact that this was actually how London was in those days and you give a classic account of it.
I found your book very emotional at times... An excellent read... Love the book cover, and both pitches.
Writing at its best
I will shelve this again in the next few days.
Highest star-rating!

Kind regards,

Neville The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

Tom Bye wrote 301 days ago

Dear Margaret. 'the spirit of the butterfly'

i enjoyed the very good read some 160 days ago, spotted it again in browsing , and read some more chapters,
i said at the time 'the dialogue is brilliant and very relevant to the time/era' found other chapters well up to standard, It should have a higher ranking by now , Hope the six stars i give it help in no small way.
deserves to be published
good luck
tom bye 'from hugs to kisses'

Tom Bye wrote 301 days ago

Dear Margaret. 'the spirit of the butterfly'

i enjoyed the very good read some 160 days ago, spotted it again in browsing , and read some more chapters,
i said at the time 'the dialogue is brilliant and very relevant to the time/era' found other chapters well up to standard, It should have a higher ranking by now , Hope the six stars i give it help in no small way.
deserves to be published
good luck
tom bye 'from hugs to kisses'

nuknuk wrote 312 days ago

Your pith drew me in and i'm glad it did. It was a great read and I hope it goes far.
Leslie
"Love has no borders"

hockgtjoa wrote 346 days ago

This is a very interesting and well written read. I wish you well and hope I shall be able to read it all the way through soon. Five stars and I shall back it for the month of March.

Sandy Arnold wrote 369 days ago

Chapter 1 was spellbinding. The first paragraph tugs. But the chapter ends too abruptly. I can't wait to get to the next chapter and see where this novel is going.

Old Bob wrote 388 days ago

Dear Margaret. I just started your book and am very impressed. You write in the first person, as do I. Many people won't read first person writing because it's hard to keep it from sounding like a memoir. I think you pulled it off very well. Your characterization of Molly begins very well and I suspect we'll see her grow in future chapters. You write descriptively, with a smooth voice and your story appears very true to life. Your pacing is good and you appear very polished.

I mentioned I also write in the first person. If you have a chance, could you take a look at a chapter or two of my book, A PLACE IN LIFE? I would be very interested in your comments and first impression.

Good luck with your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

C W Bigelow wrote 390 days ago

Margaret, a pleasure to revisit - you do a wonderful job throwing us back into that moment in history.

CW - The Fog had Lifted

Jacoba wrote 391 days ago

I am new to this site and I am perusing some of the best on here to find more books to add to my bookshelf and watchlist. Yours will definitely be on one of those. I love your writing. It is well polished and the descriptions are vivid and delivered with finese so that it doesn't bog down the reader and take away from the storyline. I enjoy reading stories from this era, it was a fascinating time. You have many wonderful comments, so I just reiterate those. I will come back and read more for sure. Thanks Jacoba Dorothy

Margaret Anthony wrote 391 days ago

My Dear Margie,

Oh my Goodness! I knew from playing tag with you in the slushpile that you were a good writer, but my lord, I had no idea of what I was destined to recieve here. When you get on "your home field" you exploit that advantage remarkably well.

Your command of the English language is just simply....fabulous! The unique thing about you though, is you do not turn this into what many do. Having said that, I mean...overwriting! I felt each and every choice of wording complemented each scene perfectly. "A curd of decaying slops covered the stones....", Boards that "groan", Standing arms "akimbo" used thirty words after having used "learnt", a word I was told to never use. These are indications of command and confidence. Louisa May Alcott wrote like this. She didn't have your command of language though, in my opinion.

I disagree sharply with Miss Woodward's critique below. I don;t think it is necessary to expand on the points she mentions. This is a story that involves this protag's journey through her own set of circumstances. Much of what she mentions is inconsequential in my opinion. Way off. I'm surprised frankly at her critique.

Maybe I'm just easy to please. I found what I have read (5 chapters) to be excellent. I felt no need to "look for" things to nit-pick. Maybe others do. I don;t know. All I know is I'm sitting here wishing I did not have to go to work so I could read on.

Be advised. I crit as a "reader", not an author. I am an unpublished, agented and undiscouraged student of the craft. Oh...wait a minute, as a reader, I think that makes me the ultimate authority. I'll have to check on that. Last I saw, readers were the ones purchasing books off of the shelf, not jealous authors who looked to crit the skills of those more gifted than themselves.

Just saying....



Thanks for this reassurance. It's important to me. I try to see good in all crits knowing there is always something to learn.
My thoughts as a response would have been, the book would have ended up a tome and that apart, I never set out to write a history book, merely a fictional story of a bygone age.
In fact, I let it go but it did trouble me at the time. M.

EMDelaney wrote 391 days ago

My Dear Margie,

Oh my Goodness! I knew from playing tag with you in the slushpile that you were a good writer, but my lord, I had no idea of what I was destined to recieve here. When you get on "your home field" you exploit that advantage remarkably well.

Your command of the English language is just simply....fabulous! The unique thing about you though, is you do not turn this into what many do. Having said that, I mean...overwriting! I felt each and every choice of wording complemented each scene perfectly. "A curd of decaying slops covered the stones....", Boards that "groan", Standing arms "akimbo" used thirty words after having used "learnt", a word I was told to never use. These are indications of command and confidence. Louisa May Alcott wrote like this. She didn't have your command of language though, in my opinion.

I disagree sharply with Miss Woodward's critique below. I don;t think it is necessary to expand on the points she mentions. This is a story that involves this protag's journey through her own set of circumstances. Much of what she mentions is inconsequential in my opinion. Way off. I'm surprised frankly at her critique.

Maybe I'm just easy to please. I found what I have read (5 chapters) to be excellent. I felt no need to "look for" things to nit-pick. Maybe others do. I don;t know. All I know is I'm sitting here wishing I did not have to go to work so I could read on.

Be advised. I crit as a "reader", not an author. I am an unpublished, agented and undiscouraged student of the craft. Oh...wait a minute, as a reader, I think that makes me the ultimate authority. I'll have to check on that. Last I saw, readers were the ones purchasing books off of the shelf, not jealous authors who looked to crit the skills of those more gifted than themselves.

Just saying....

janie wrote 391 days ago

The Spirit of the Butterfly - Margaret Anthony

Your writing is just beautiful, I envy you.
janie.

CMTStibbe wrote 392 days ago

Yet again Margaret, you have managed skillfully to draw your readers into a captivating period of history. London in the 1800’s must have been harsh especially for the less fortunate. The stench of poverty is expertly described and it will turn a few stomachs in the process. It’s a history lesson in itself! Molly is a character any reader would find irresistible. Lines such as ‘I can see for miles, Pa. The whole world is out there’ reveals her vital enthusiasm for life and all it can offer. It takes a great author to rouse that kind of emotion and an experienced one to appreciate the anguish of stolen innocence. Stories such as this touch all hearts. There are many of us who have been in Molly’s shoes; veterans in fact of destitution. The dialogue is delightful. I care deeply for these characters and what happens to them. In Chapter 2 - Molly, hardly an adult at fourteen, experiences a tragedy that a child should never have to go through. And a double whammy at that. But she is energized by Reb and thoughts of going to London to which his father replies “I hear nothing good comes out of that place,” (reminds me of another time in History and a man from Nazareth…) Molly compassionately lays flowers on her family’s graves and looks around the empty house with a lump in her throat. Her pain is well described and my eyes well with tears. Very well done! Can’t wait to read more. Greatly starred and on w/l. Claire~ Chasing Pharaohs.

Dedalus wrote 399 days ago

good pace, developed characters and the narrative provides interesting details.

Joe

Margaret Woodward wrote 402 days ago

May I add one more point? Think of Shakespeare. Even in his most grinding tragedies he always introduced lighter threads, simply because his audience would find unrelenting misery a turn off. When I finished reading 'Spirit' I felt depressed, in spite of Eliza's rescue. You are confirming what history tells us, that poverty was rife, and vicious, and have given the reader no uplift to counteract that, no feeling of future redemption or improvement. Bad as things were, that is not quite the case. In spite of the unrest there was also a surge of hope around, for the reasons I mention in my other email. Can you bring that in somehow?

I do hope my comments help you. I am trying to be positive, certainly not negative! Margaret

And another! I was also just beginning to feel the colours of the butterfly were dimming. Mollie's handling of John's maid after the reading of the will was slightly out of character. I know she was being hardened by circumstances, but you do want to remain true to your theme - and to keep your readers with you, and with her. Her reliance on the Cummings, and indeed their initial offer of such stupendous generosity in taking her in off the road completely unknown, needs explaining. Might this be a chance to introduce some of the political or religious elements abroad at the time?

Margaret Woodward wrote 402 days ago

I apologise for then long wait for a crit. I have at last read most of Spirit of the Butterfly and was swept up in the grinding poverty and fear at the bottom of 1830s society, and in Mollie's highly eventful life, for as far as you gave us. Full marks for that. I was, however, left unsatisfied for some reason and at first wondered if it was because your story was 'single thread', concentrating on one character who has been fully and vividly drawn and set into a plausible family background with a strong network of relationships. The later chapters also need editing for sentence construction, but that is not a major problem.

Overnight thinking then made me realise that, although you call this a history, I read almost nothing about the 'big history' of the time. Nothing explains why there is so much poverty in the land, especially in the cities. No mention is made (that I saw) of land enclosure driving people off the land into the cities or into emigration to the growing British colonies overseas, nor of the unrest sweeping the land, resulting in riots, the rise of the Chartist movement and others which eventually led into the Labour Party creation. I saw one brief mention of children working in factories, but nothing about the drive against slavery at this time, both in the form of indented industrial and agricultural labour and of the abduction of African natives. I saw no mention of William IV or Queen Adelaide, nor of the future Victoria, who was far from secure when she came to the throne. Nor is there mention of the first industrial triumphs brought about by British scientists; the first steam engines were already causing excitement; the first domestic gas cooker went on the market in 1836 in time for the coronation. The inns and streets would have been full of gossip about all of these, yet none of your characters seem aware of any of it. Also the British army and navy were very large and in a time of unemployment were hiring only the youngest, fittest and brightest, jettisoning the less adequate to the streets. Lots of Irish and nearly as many Scots were heading for London to try their luck. Where are they? They would have been particularly prevalent in the lower orders.

If you could create a more solid political background for Mollie and give her and those she meets opinions and responses to the various factions which would certainly have existed in and around their everyday lives, I think your book - and possibly your other characters - would come to life enough to attract your agent back for another look. It would take hard work to do it all seamlessly, and it is likely to lengthen the book considerably (which would be okay, I think, given the current length) but it might be well worth while. I wish you well with it and hope it will flourish.

I shall also look at your other books in the near future. Best wishes. Margaret

Troodo wrote 414 days ago

Hi Margaret. Read your book ages ago and backed it then, still think it is one of the best so backed it again.

Troodo.
The Rose of Gildvadane.

Roberta Georgiou wrote 426 days ago

Hello Margaret--I've read the first chap. of your book and thought it captured the time period well, had a strong narrative point of view and included realistic dialogue. I especially enjoyed the description of the Thames and Molly's house. "livid bruises" was quite nice. I also liked your beginning with the assault and chase. Not a problem in going back after that.

And now that I've enjoyed the story, I have to nit pick as an English teacher is wont to do.

I wanted a gender to the child Molly ran into, not "it" unless you indicate that Molly is so panicked that she can't recognize whether the child is male or female. Your writing style follows the rules for proper punctuation, so the sentence beginning, "In doing so" threw me off because of the comma faults within it. Awkward was the sentence beginning, "Laid lovingly on their graves..." What should follow that phrase is what was laid there. The paragraph describing Molly physically after she climbs down from the tree needs to be worked in. Perhaps her father could place his arm around her signalling this description of her height, etc. "Plucking the leaves trapped in her hair" is another sentence I had to reread. Also the sentence beginning, "Proud ... on his upper lip."

Don't get me wrong; I really enjoyed the story and think it is publishable, and that's why I took "notes" and shared them. But also, these comments are offered purely as suggestions....

flower girl wrote 428 days ago

I didn't intend reading it all but was hooked from the start and couldn't stop. This is beautifully written and the characters are painted well. I've put this on my watchlist and will back it as soon as possible.
Gill

Saint wrote 429 days ago

Hi Margaret-
I noticed that you like the GASLIGHT HOUSE too. You must like romance.

I've watch-listed your book and hope to get to it soon. Will you take a look at WILLOW when you have time?

Thanks,
Michelle

Silentnovelist wrote 433 days ago

The Spirit of the Butterfly

It is a pleasure to return to the Spirit of the Butterfly. I don’t know if you’ve been editing since my last reading but the beginning seems different and it is so polished I wouldn’t be surprised.
I’m still a little awed by the research you must have had to do to create a work of such vivid authenticity. You draw the reader in to your opening scene by such exquisite if sometimes horrific and unexpected detail – the curd of decaying slops, the corpse dangled without purpose, the overpowering stench that clawed the air, liquid mud that slurped through her shoes. You have set a vivid scene and have a rare gift for imagery that makes this come alive, sweeping us up and dropping us into another time.
Molly’s adoration for Reb is touching and true – I was never comfortable unless he was close.
And then Reb is slaughtered in a horrifying attack. You spare us nothing! You have a wonderful skill for close observations, horrifying, gory details, sometimes but so real and true to the time, that this marvellous story is like a vivid tapestry, alive with rich authentic details that draw us right into your period drama. Heartbreaking end to chapter three. You write beautifully, Margaret, and I hope to see this in print.
Diana

Fifi Bergere wrote 436 days ago

I've only had time to read the first couple of pages - immediately gripping and very atmospheric. I work near Wapping and could really imagine it.

I didn't get any "countryfiedness" from Molly's voice, she sounds educated and refined. Also the name Molly made me think of Moll Flanders and draw obvious parallels. Maybe you want that but for this reason I'd prefer a different name for the heroine. Shame because Molly is a lovely name.

Lynne Jones wrote 436 days ago

Excellent. The descriptions of London life are harrowing but it makes fascinating reading.

azwrites wrote 438 days ago

Oh yes - I like it. There is the atmosphere of Dickens and (though a bit before his period) Sherlock Holmes London in it. Some darn good storytelling as well. Glad to support it.
Jim Coplin
Bite mark

HRachelle wrote 443 days ago

I loved how I was grabbed into the story right away and enoyed the ending of the first chpater, it made me want to read more.
You're description are really believable and brings you into the stoy; could even expand on those.
Just a few little comments; you didn't need the, "I heard him shout." You could just say, "he shouted," or the " I thought in the "i thought it a place fashioned by the devil himself'
H. Rachelle Graham
Blood; a memoir about rage
Cursed

HRachelle wrote 443 days ago

I loved how I was grabbed into the story right away and enoyed the ending of the first chpater, it made me want to read more.
You're description are really believable and brings you into the stoy; could even expand on those.
Just a few little comments; you didn't need the, "I heard him shout." You could just say, "he shouted," or the " I thought in the "i thought it a place fashioned by the devil himself'
H. Rachelle Graham
Blood; a memoir about rage
Cursed

klouholmes wrote 446 days ago

Hi Margaret, I went to Chapter 5 to read on. It's gripping and convincing, the description of the people giving sensory and visual impact. Once in a while, I had to go back to make sure of who was speaking, only because of the paragraph form. This is exciting yet poignant! Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Lynn Scanlan wrote 446 days ago

I just found your book and am excited to read it. Please take a look at mine when you get a chance. "Losing Hazel" I'll be back in touch when I finish reading. Thank you, Lynn

Lynn Scanlan wrote 446 days ago

I just found your book and am excited to read it. Please take a look at mine when you get a chance. "Losing Hazel" I'll be back in touch when I finish reading. Thank you, Lynn

Kaychristina wrote 451 days ago

Re-shelved and VERY highly starred, this book is even more wonderful now than it was the first time around - and that's saying something. I am gradually re-reading, seeing the changes, and I don't think I'll ever tire of reading it - one of those to keep forever and take to a desert island along with the discs...From Kay with love

livloo wrote 453 days ago

Wonderfully descriptive, you feel as if you have really stepped back in time when you read this.

Backed

Clare
A Policeman's Lot

Sue Harries wrote 456 days ago

Brilliantly written, like stepping back in time. An amazing amount of research must have been done.

Trevor H wrote 457 days ago

Interesting period and one in which I would hate to have lived in unless stinking rich! Great start to this and cracks along. A lot of depth to your writing and it shows. Backed

Tom Bye wrote 461 days ago

hI margaret 'THE SPIRIT OF THE BUTTERFLY.
ENGLAND in the 1830s and molly and robs harrowing story '
gripping opening and llike the way you revert in time to outlline the story.
echoes of john banville the author in your writing,.so descriptive and atomospheric and thats praise for this great book. its so visual as rob teaches her how to skate on the frozen river
love this read and backed with pleasure
TOM BYE 'FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please read mine if time and comment /back / star if y;ou like it thanks

Tom Bye wrote 461 days ago

HI MARGARET ' THE SPIRIT OF THE BUTTERFLY'
England in the 1830s and molly and rebs story. gripping opening in Wapping as she is chased through the alleyways
This book has echos of John banville the author , as i read it , and that's praise.reading on, it's so descriptive wihh a great sense of atomsphere that brings me into this period.
like story that reverts back in time to outlline the events that took place. The dialogu;e is brilliant and very relevant to the era.' i can see the frozen in my minds eye as rob teaches her how to skate. love it and backed with pleasure

HannahWar wrote 464 days ago

Margaret, this is a book that cannot be read dried-eyed. You are an exceptional story-teller with a vaste vocabulary and a great heart for your characters. From my reading list you can see I'm addicted to 19th century literature and although this is a 21st century book, the atmosphere is there alright, so different from our own times, so deeply human in struggles and hopes. Thank you for writing The Spirit of the Butterfly and I hope your book will be a huge success when published. Good luck! Hannah

LonnieNonnie wrote 467 days ago

Thank God for the comments! Ploughing through all to see what it was I liked - doing the ratings via the "stars" and as and when I can, will re-back all the books I really enjoyed or which showed promise, in my humble opinion. The Tails of Willie Gusty.

Jo G wrote 471 days ago

This is marvellous work. It's the kind of compelling, humanistic story that I adore reading and right from the start I found myself hoping that Molly would have a better life and find her way back to the land she left. Your writing is beautiful to read, easy and flowing with wonderful descriptions.
I'm happy to back this and wish you lots of luck with it.

Jo G

cicuta wrote 471 days ago

Hello Margaret, It seems to me, that, in your desire to be Molly Crane, you have created a masterful epic, that can only be appreciated, by accepting the reality, in the way that you reach out with your story. I am far from an analyst, of any standing. But I could appreciate, the nuance of your style, to send the reader, headlong into historic London. Good luck for the future. Take care, until we meet again. Cicuta, [Carl, Arcane]. But Oh! How I pine for the potholes and lassies of good old Leicestershire.

child wrote 471 days ago

The Spirit of the Butterfly - An immediate atmosphere of the city of London during the early 19th century, its filth and despair, that must have been common to the majority of its inhabitants, is created with good descriptive writing. This contrasts very well with the Molly's early life free of taint in the countryside and the innocence of burgeoning love, between her and Reb, is well observed. Her parents death, though briefly written, is both sensitive and poignant and Reb's determination to go to London portrays the optimism and determination of youth realistically in that having made up his mind there is no turning it. His murder on the road and Molly's subsequent abduction lead to the slippery slope that follows. The characters are well rounded, the dialogue crisp, overall a very good read.

Child - Atramentus Speaks

AnnaSlade wrote 472 days ago

As everyone else has said, Margaret, this is an enviably good realization of life in early Victorian England, and you've pulled off the really difficult task of first person narrative with great confidence. I endorse everything that's been said about its high quality and commercial potential, so perhaps it'd be more helpful to make a few tiny nit-picks. A horticultural one first! Wild garlic, violets and elderberries wouldn't be in the wood at the same time. The berries come in late summer, the other two in spring. Although I didn't read the whole thing, I spotted a couple of typos:
Ch. 32 know = now
Ch. 34 ported = porter
I also, in Ch. 33, wanted more reaction from Molly when she learns that she's inherited the house. It's such a huge dramatic reversal that I longed for a bit of insight into what makes her decide so quickly to sell it - what did she think, how did she feel?
But these are small quibbles. It's a magnificent achievement and eminently publishable. Anna

AnnaSlade wrote 472 days ago

As everyone else has said, Margaret, this is an enviably good realization of life in early Victorian England, and you've pulled off the really difficult task of first person narrative with great confidence. I endorse everything that's been said about its high quality and commercial potential, so perhaps it'd be more helpful to make a few tiny nit-picks. A horticultural one first! Wild garlic, violets and elderberries wouldn't be in the wood at the same time. The berries come in late summer, the other two in spring. Although I didn't read the whole thing, I spotted a couple of typos:
Ch. 32 know = now
Ch. 34 ported = porter
I also, in Ch. 33, wanted more reaction from Molly when she learns that she's inherited the house. It's such a huge dramatic reversal that I longed for a bit of insight into what makes her decide so quickly to sell it - what did she think, how did she feel?
But these are small quibbles. It's a magnificent achievement and eminently publishable. Anna

Rachael Cox wrote 473 days ago

This is a very engaging story, brilliantly written. You describe really well the stark contrast between the harsh urban life in London and the simple comforts of her childhood country life. The environmental contrasts of the filth and grime you describe compared to the beauty of nature in the country. You really feel the wretchedness of poverty and the desire for a better existence and life. This is a very moving story, written with great style that gives real insight into life of this era. I really enjoyed what I read.
Best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Darugh wrote 476 days ago

I am backing this book based on your pitch and the reading of one chapter - all I had time for tonight. The story grabs the reader from the start, the scene is well set, descriptions are full and not overdone. I will be back to read more.
Patricia West Hays
The Witness Tree

If you have any time at all, I would appreciate your taking a look at my book. Thanks.

Ceeds wrote 478 days ago

I can most certainly see this getting published. It's well written and fluent, easy to read yet full of small details that remind the reader where and when they are. I've only read chpt 1 but I enjoyed it very much and thought your pitch was excellent. Good luck with it, from Ceeds

Richard J. Dean Jr. wrote 479 days ago

Thank you for WL my novel. Hopefully you'll find some time to look at it soon. Meanwhile, I have checked out your book and figured I might as well offer a few comments. First off, I love your dialogue. I love how diverse it is. Different accents and uniqueness for your characters. Well-written. Good descriptions as well. Hope you have luck on this website.
~Richard
Twin Fates

Lenore wrote 480 days ago

A novel that should be on the shelves of the best book stores. Your word choice and descriptions bubble profound images for readers, beginning with a pitch so enticing it was impossible not to call up the first chapter. Many thanks for a great read so far.

D K Willis wrote 494 days ago

Well done, Margaret. Captures the reader from the opening page. I was particularly impressed with the atomsphere created here, which is an important measure of a historical novel. I felt real empathy for Molly. I'm sure I'm not the first person to compare this to the work of Dickens. I look forward to the publication of your book and a place in my library. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes.

DK Willis
THE THIEF ON THE CROSS

cooee wrote 497 days ago

You have the scenery, the times, including the dialouge, I feel down pat. The pace of the story is good and the reader feels engaged in what is happening.

Just a few nit picks

-You might need to reconsider a line in your first paragraph as it is one of those ambiguous sentences that also reads that it is the alley ways attempting to confuse him.

- You changed tense in the following line - ...but I dare not stop to apologise - it should be ...dared not stop ect

- Also, 'had no idea when it was the man gave up chase' although I thought it might be your charachter's manner of speech, I saw no evidence of it in the other section, and it might read better as 'had no idea when the man gave up chase.'

Good luck with this.

briantodd wrote 500 days ago

Dear Margaret

Your 'Spirit of the Butterfly' is a great achievement. I guess it is near complete and hopefully a happy ending awaits us. The Dickens parallels have already been commented on but are what strike me most about your work. The poverty,injustice,brutality,lawlessness,squalor and depravity needed to be brought to the publics attention but the pill had to be sweetened for his audience and so he softened Oliver Twist for his public.Your book is rawer than Dickens, your first person narrative more immediate than the omniscience of his. This is a masterly human story with Molly a character to stand alongside the unforgettable characters of Dickens. Perhaps it was his footsteps that she heard following her, or perhaps he loitered at the window of the Grapes one evening writing in his notebook, before joining the barge of the river police, to visit Jacobs Island and begin to creat fagin and Bill Sykes. Your created London and its inhabitants is note perfect, if at times an uncomfortable read. Even after 170 years of knowing the reality of a have/have-not society the injustice still rankles and the spirit of the great campaigner and reformer that Dickens was pervades this book.It was a pleasure to read from the first sentence.

regards

Brian