Book Jacket

 

rank 2106
word count 10873
date submitted 30.04.2009
date updated 25.08.2009
genres: Literary Fiction, Thriller, Fantasy...
classification: universal
incomplete

GoneAway Into the Land

Jeffrey B. Allen

John vows to kill his abusive father. But he must take chase through an amazing land of wonder. A land threatened by tyranny and madness.

 

Shifting in and out of reality, this inspirational story follows 12-year old John Greber, who with his mother, Ellie, suffer abuse at the hands of John’s father, whom he calls “The Beast.” The Beast abandons his family and kidnaps John’s six-year old sister, Marny. John vows revenge as he seeks to confront his father and rescue his sister.
This coming-of-age novel travels a totally different path than expected. With both poignancy and adventure, it proves that the strength of the human spirit can overcome all odds.

“There is a faint dream-like quality to this book, a metaphoric attribute as it deals with themes of friendship, loss, violence, courage, greed, innocence, selfishness and love. It is an adventure, an allegory, a bittersweet fantasy filled with subtle meaning and depth that never loses its appeal. GoneAway Into the Land is a captivating book with a creative narrative that quietly lures a reader into an original world that is fully realized and thoroughly absorbing. It transcends into a superb piece of fiction, and I recommend it highly.” – A.F. Stewart, author





 
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PART l

 

 

DESTROYER OF THE WORLD

 

~:~ 

 

 The

Meandering events of my life

Grow as a moss upon me.

I am surrounded

By translucent walls built of my failings.

Walls,

Shored by Foundations formed of my fears.

Walls that shield me 

From the harsh remembrances of my youth.

     Jeffrey B. Allen


 

I

THE BOUNDING OF THE BEAST

 

 

    My father’s body was a mass of pure muscle, topped by a rock-like, curly-haired head that hung forward from his rounded shoulders. If ever he stood straight, he would have been well over six feet tall. His eyes, nose, and mouth were clustered below a singular brow that blended at its ends into a thick patchwork of stubble.

    Even on the coldest of days, he would roll his sleeves up over his elbows, making the muscles in his forearms appear under explosive pressure. His legs were bowed outward at the knee, a deformity causing him to sway from side to side as he walked. I named it the gorilla walk, because if my father was angry, and it suffices to say, he was usually angry about something, the sway would become more pronounced. Therefore, whenever I had the opportunity to observe him from a distance, I’d be able to make a prediction as to the severity of his foul mood, an advantage giving my mother and me precious time to prepare ourselves for the abusive madness about to be heaped upon us.

    His name was Danny Greber, Daniel Johannes Greber. But I named him the beast.

 

***

 

    After sitting at the dining room table for nearly an hour, I decided to venture outside for some fresh air. 

    Homework, I thought. 

    It’s Friday

    I took a slow deep breath and exhaled a pitiful sigh. My mother’s rule. “Do your homework on the day it’s assigned.” A standard she imposed without compromise. 

    I stepped out onto our screened-in porch and into the ramping noises of Friday’s Main Street traffic. I stretched my muscles and rubbed my burning eyes. It was a sticky September afternoon and, although I knew I should have been thankful for the short break, I was plagued by my usual feelings of anxiety and self pity. 

     From my meager lookout, I spotted Marny in the backyard by herself. She was wonderfully immersed in what she was doing, singing and talking as if no other world existed but hers.

    Marny was six years old, partially toothless, had blond hair, and a sprinkle of freckles on both cheeks. She was forever finding ways to annoy me, like asking a million questions, or whining just loudly enough to get me in trouble. I tried my best to ignore her, but deep down I kept a close eye on Marny. 

    I felt enormously protective of my baby sister, especially when my father was around.

 

***

 

     Our house had been squeezed between its identical neighbors and shoved to the front of a long narrow plot.  The weed-ridden lawn always seemed to be overgrown. 

    “Could I mow the grass today, Mom?” I would ask. She would reply, “No thanks, John. I can handle it just fine,” before stabbing her proverbial knife into my fragile adolescent ego. “You’re only a boy, John barely thirteen, and that’s too young to be using the mower.” 

    I couldn’t stand the entire notion of being too young for this, too young for that. I hated it.

 

***

 

    The yard had a downward grade from front to back. Marny was playing on the steepest portion. I nicknamed it “The Mountain,” although it wasn’t anything more than a small area of sharper incline. 

    On the right side, running the length of the yard, was a boxwood hedge, squared up on its sides and across the top by Mr. Ralph, our elderly neighbor. On the other side, a shared driveway ended with a single bay garage. The decrepit structure leaned heavily to the side, and had long ago been sheathed in green asphalt shingles that were flaking away with the passing of the seasons, thus exposing the horizontal planking to a host of wood-eating ants and carpenter bees. 

    When I was alone, I could hear the poor garage whimpering.  Push me up please, straight and tall, before it’s too late and I start to fall. 

    I suppose there was never a chance of it toppling over.

    Nevertheless, housed within its dark and dingy reaches, was an ancient automobile. The car, having barely fit across its width, was too long for the bay, or maybe it hadn’t been backed in all the way. Whatever the reason, its towering grill protruded into the light as if it were the head of a dragon bursting from its lair.  The grill’s corroded ribbing was badly dented, and in several places pieces had fallen away only to be replaced by an impenetrable mass of spider webs and dust-covered bug carcasses.   

    I tried my best to stay a safe distance from the leaning garage, but one day, during a period of reckless curiosity, I stood on my toes and strained to see beyond that massive grill and into the darkened depths. 

    Though masked by years of caked-on dust and grime, I could tell the auto had, at one time, been a brilliant yellow. But the most curious discovery I made was that of a plastic fixture attached to the middle of the rooftop.  It read “TAXI.” 

    With its ominous nose poking into the sunlight, the pathetic old taxi looked to be waiting for its call to action.  Just call me up and I’ll pick you up, quick and fast.  Tips are to insure prompt service, and will be greatly appreciated. 

    I could imagine a day long ago when the sparkling cab carried its passengers from place to place,  bright yellow, shiny, and proud.

 

***

 

     At the rear of the property was a small creek, a natural boundary. I spent a good deal of time near the banks of the trickling brook. It gave me countless ways to entertain myself, but most of all it was a place where I felt safe from the fear and oppression that had become so much a part of my daily life.  

    Above the gurgling stream was a domed ceiling of low-hanging limbs. The rays of sunlight that made it through the tangled web appeared to me as translucent spears thrusting into the ground.  On the opposite side of the brook was a dense stand of foliage broken only by a pathway leading away from the embankment. I thought I might find the courage to cross over and venture into that forbidden darkness, but I never did. The idea of exploring it terrified me. 

     Schoolwork, I scoffed. 

    I expected the fresh air to give me a renewed sense of motivation. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. 

    I remained on the porch, deliberating my impending return to drudgery, when I noticed my father stride into the yard. He entered from the right front corner and followed the path alongside Mr. Ralph’s manicured hedgerow.  He seemed unaware of me, because he went right past the porch and headed directly for Marny. There was a yellow satchel hanging from his shoulder. 

    Why is he home so early?  I wondered.

    And why is he going toward Marny? 

    The apprehension brought on by my father’s presence wreaked its usual havoc upon me.  I watched him move closer to Marny. I was stricken.  Not a word of warning would come out of my mouth. I stood as a mute, questioning my father’s sudden appearance.

    Meanwhile, Marny was busy tumbling down the mountain. I watched her make several successive rolls.  When she reached the bottom, she would weave her way back to her starting position and ready herself for another dizzying tumble. She was fully engrossed in her game. 

    While Marny was making another assent, my father approached her. By chance, or perhaps instinct, she looked upward. There, standing right in front of her, as high as heaven and as deep as hell, was our brute of a father.

    Marny’s jaw dropped open and for several seconds she gazed straight up at the unexpected giant, her body frozen.  

 

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junetee wrote 303 days ago

Brilliant book and now one of my favourites on the site.
I don't normally read books about abuse because I find them too grim. However this book has been written in a way that gives the reader an opportunity to escape into the boy's fantasies with him. Of course theyre not so much fantasies , more reality. What abused person doesn't have to escape somewhere to cope with their life of fear and violence.
I admire the way you have written about John being in a confused state, when he wakes up the next morning (if it is the next morning) and doesn't know if what had taken place was a nightmare or real. I was dying to find out myself and wondered if there was going to be a twist in the storyline. I read no further than chapter eight, I think it was, and I can't wait to read further.
I love your descriptive writing especially during John's fathers outburst and his attack on John. I think one Part in particular stood out to me in chapter six:
'Brilliant splashes of color streaked across my field of vision. For some reason I thought of my mothers beautiful tea cups and dishes, so neatly stacked behind the glass doors, waiting for some never-to-be, grand gala affair.'
This is a book I would definitely buy. 6 stars. I will back it at the beginning of the month.
Junetee(Four Corners)

wordreiver wrote 834 days ago

Very compelling reading. I could feel the tension. Good characterization and easy-to-read style. I look forward to reading more.

A Promise Kept wrote 966 days ago

In GoneAway into the Land, the author allows us a refreshing escape from reality. Although fantasy fiction, a cross between The Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland, but on steroids, and eerily parallel to real life power hungry politics we face in everyday life, GoneAway into the Land keeps you on the edge of your seat with suspense until the very end. GoneAway has been so successful that it was just picked up by a New York Publisher and will soon be re-released in hardback with a jacket as well as soft cover. The publisher will be sending Jeffrey B. Allen on a signing tour and media exposure for the novel will increase tenfold. Kudos to you
Jeffrey, you inspire us all!
– Elise Crawford, author of A Promise Kept

Jeffrey B. Allen wrote 1017 days ago

Jeffrey, this is an altogether terrifying and fascinating book. I think the portrayal of John's states of mind is extremely well developed (although the fantasy land feels excessive, repetitive, slows down what is otherwise a very rapid read). A great, great story through the first 7 or 8 chapters.
Dear Robin,

I was picked up by another publisher and have since taken your advice and toned down the introduction of the Land into the early chapters of the book. I bring it into the story much slower and in a much more clever way than I did before. Thanks for the advise. The new addition comes out in a few weeks.

Jeffrey
The only word I found out of place was the yellow banner across KyaSiftar's chest 'foretold' of his importance. No, it didn't prophesy. 'Told' would be better.

Good luck with this! Shelved.

Robin

Robin Helweg-Larsen wrote 1094 days ago

Jeffrey, this is an altogether terrifying and fascinating book. I think the portrayal of John's states of mind is extremely well developed (although the fantasy land feels excessive, repetitive, slows down what is otherwise a very rapid read). A great, great story through the first 7 or 8 chapters.

The only word I found out of place was the yellow banner across KyaSiftar's chest 'foretold' of his importance. No, it didn't prophesy. 'Told' would be better.

Good luck with this! Shelved.

Robin

jrn1645 wrote 1094 days ago

I really enjoyed the organized randomness of the plot/characters which all come together and form a solid story which demands reflection and contemplation. The depth of the story is fun; with its imagery painting the scene for you both physically and emotionally. The advancement of the poem as the story progressed acted as a fine supplement to the plot..

nlm wrote 1094 days ago

Allen takes us on an edgy journey that transports the reader from fact to fiction as he reveals the uneasiness associated with the subject of domestic abuse. I was swept into the mind of John as he dealt with the confrontations with the Beast . And then John's escape into the fantasy world becomes a recipe for quiet revenge. The story is adidcting from the get-go...can't wait for the next book from Allen.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1095 days ago

Things certainly make more sense now that the missing chapters have re-appeared. This is a powerful account and has a truly authentic ring to the domestic violence. I have read up to chapter ten and the mythical side is still taking shape. On my shelf to continue reading. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

mn73 wrote 1096 days ago

There are some nice touches early on here such as the 'thoughts' of the garage and the taxi, that I really liked. The story is dark and relentless, as you would expect from the subject matter but well written and beautifully drawn. My sympathies are with the female characters in the early stages of the novel and I hope there is a happy resolution to be had somewhere at the end. I am putting this on my shelf.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1097 days ago

Chapters five and six appear to be missing so I have lost any continuity when chapter seven appears. Didn't anyone else notice? It's very common on here to be criticised for a slow start and I personally was losing patience because the hints of 'abuse' could have simply been childish exagerration. Perhaps you could relate something to make the sense of dread authentic? Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

pamom4 wrote 1099 days ago

Gone Away Into The Land....by Jeffery B. Allen. Truly a vacation spot that takes you to depths of the unexpected. The more that you read, the deeper this story gets while remaining light hearted and fun to read. This book leaves you with a feeling of yearning for more. As you travel throughout the land with John and his mother, Ellie, you are on a journey to places that you only dare to imagine. Mr. Allen has found a way to depict self exploration, our journey through life, the wonders of the afterlife, intense life lessons and the wonders of youth masterfully hidden within a light hearted story. Find yourself in a world where not only is it impossible to forget the pleasures of your childhood; but a place where you can embrace them and make them part of your soul.

GEOFFY wrote 1099 days ago

JEFF
Your talent shows again,your success as an author is certain, When will your next book be available ?
G.H.

nickfire wrote 1100 days ago

I took the book to work to read in the quiet times.....i just could not put it down.....everything i want from a book....so enjoyable.

Argonaut wrote 1105 days ago

I've read up to the tenth chapter. You've got me! I'm definitely bookshelving this book and recommending it to my friends. You're writing style is crisp and fresh. I was on the edge of my seat through every chapter, and I plan to come back for more! I hope this book gets the recognition it deserves. Keep writing, Jeffrey. You're extremely talented.
Regards,
Argonaut

CH wrote 1105 days ago

I dream about this book. Instant connection with the reader. It touches the senses and emotions we all experience. What a superb weaving of storylines. What a ride. This needs to become a movie.

Missy K wrote 1106 days ago

I absolutely adored this book. It was such a breath of fresh air. I can quite honestly say that I have never read anything like it before. Excellent job and I look forward to the next book. Beautifully written.

Paul Samuel wrote 1108 days ago

backing this; a fast unmisable read - well done
Paul S

leejohn wrote 1108 days ago

Hi Jeffrey. I have to agree with Elaina. Your pitch needs work, if you are to capture the audience pal. That should be your priority right now, because it would be mine.

Having read the first two chapters.WOW..Awesome characterization. It made me feel like some one had connected me to a set of jump leads, leaving me feeling electromagnetic. I just wanted to keep on reading beyond chapter two. You have succeeded where many fail Jeff, and that is, the book has already fell into the shopping basket. .......WELL DONE!

Now for keeping the writers happy on authonomy. Always a tall order to say the least. I carried on reading through to chapter five. Well, I have to say your strength is how you combated the narrative. A master stoke, from an extremely talented individual. I found the story smooth. However, the story started to drag, instead of Flourishing through the doorways. Some times too much characterization can swallow the main aspect of the story!

Once again only a suggestion. Will be back later in week. ( Shelved) Rank 1037? Come on people!!

Leejohn.
(The Caulbearer 'Young Tierney')

steeve747 wrote 1109 days ago

I read this book from start to finish without putting it down. I loved the transitions the author made from one story to the next and how he intertwined them as the story progressed. I plan on reading it again for fun and I'd love to read anything else Jeffrey B. Allen publishes.

ttaylor0 wrote 1109 days ago

Dear Jeffrey,
I just wanted to let you know that I am only 20 pages into your book and I am hooked already. I will leave a detailed review after I finish it.

bridget3420 wrote 1110 days ago

I fell in love with this book. I have a wild imagination and when an author can keep up with it, I'm hooked. You know how every now and then you find the perfect book and you never want to put it down? That's how I felt about Gone Away Into The Land.

Alora Dannon wrote 1110 days ago

I was amazed how this author captured my interest with such brilliant emotional power. How does he do that?
The characters are larger than anyone I know, but at the same time I can identify and find similarites to those in my own life.
Jeffery Allan's writing is by far one of the most talented display of creativity. The descriptions made me feel I was right there each chapter after chapter. and with my heart beating louder and louder. What a treat!.This will be the biggest summer beach reading sensation among my group!

riffy wrote 1110 days ago

Gone Away Into the Land BY Jeffrey B. Allen


Imagine a land that is so beautiful and so perfect that each day is better than the one before. Imagine a living in a place where there is no strife, hate or conflict. Imagine living in a beautiful land filled with your favorite convections, treats, and delectable delights. Imagine a land where people are trained to create cakes, chocolates and other candy treats for their world and for ours.

Imagine waking up each morning in fear of what the day might bring. Imagine that fear instilled in a young child by his father. Imagine a mother who is helpless and cannot protect her children from the physical and psychological abuse inflicted upon them by their own parent. A father, who blames the entire world, his family, his bosses and everyone else for his plight in life, Imagine a parent who makes a deal with a monster to kidnap his own daughter in order to benefit himself.

How far will a parent and a brother go to protect and find their child or sister? To what lengths will a mother go to in order to get her child back? Reading this novel you will find the answer and much more.

Child abuses both physical and emotional are serious issues that many people face today. This book sends a powerful message to anyone that encounters an abuse person and why we all must speak out and makes sure no child or someone like the father, The Beast, in this book, ever victimizes adult.

In Gone Away into the Land, Jeffrey B. Allen intermingles the world of hate, violence and greed with the perfect world of ZingZongLand. John with the help of his mom, Ellie, must enter the fantasy world of ZingZongLand and search for his sister, Marny. The Beast, his father into this land in return for luxuries and delights to be bestowed upon him by the other monster in the book, Mengus, abducted Marny.

As John enters this world of convections, sweets and other delights he encounters many hardships, many unusual people and someone he never knew about. His mom was attack before he was born and as a result of that attack he was conceived. His father, forced to marry her, never came to love her or his son. Throughout the novel, John remembers the many times his father beat him and his mom. These descriptions of violence are quite graphic and disturbing.

As the book evolves John meets, the people who rule and run this once perfect land and soon realizes that there are not places in his world, or theirs devoid of hateful people, greed, tyranny and more.

Mengus, the villain, who is trying to take over as ruler, or Siftar of Southland and the entire world as he knows it, wants to have all of the sweet concoctions that are created by the workers, or Silfies, in the land sent to him for his approval before they are let out in the WORLD. With the aide of many people that he intimidates or threatens he manages to destroy much of the land and cause internal strife where it did not exist before.

Throughout the struggle to find is sister, John learns the truth behind his mother’s secret. He learns about someone new that will soon be in his life. Mengus seeking to control the world has captured John’s sister and uses her as a pawn to get his father to help destroy the land and spread fear throughout the country.

A battle to the finish where John rids the world of his evil father and Mengus and Maraska his assistant are captured makes the reader hold her breath until the very last page is turned. Suspenseful, heartfelt, heartwarming and masterfully written, I would give this book five stars and of course FIVE CHUFFAPOPS IN HONOR OF ZINGZONGLAND.

You will have to read this novel to find out whether John and his family return to the World or remain and help restore this once beautiful world.

Not until the very last chapter do you really learn and understand what really did happen to the family in this book.

A must read for everyone. The ending will surprise you.

Darla Ferrara wrote 1113 days ago

I'm not sure what to say. The suspense you built up in the first few chapters was wonderful but as I got to chapter four, I felt a little let down. I think the change in the story line was too dramatic for me. The writing is wonderful, very smooth and fluid. You obviously have a lot of talent. The descriptive prose was nicely done. All in all a good book however I did find the structure of the chapters disruptive. I do understand that you probably were working for this effect. I just would of liked to see it be more subtle. I guess that's just a personal style thing, my opinion. Oh I noticed one typo I wanted to bring to your attention:

Chap 2 paragraph four: I wonder why hid it behind the garage.

Good luck with this. I think (again just my opinion) that you might do better with getting interest from other authors here and thus more comments if you adjusted your short and long pitch. I want to hear more about the story. I think its great that you have had so much interest and enthusiastic comments. Possibly you could list those in the bio area. Many people do that. Write a intriguing synopsis, that will get everyone's attention. Just a suggestion.

Vieve wrote 1117 days ago

This is definitely successful at emotionally involving the reader. I read clear through to the chapter introducing the other world, and was really feeling the suspense. I also felt it was very visual, and I could easily picture the scene as it played out.

I got a bit confused about the MC being on the porch watching, and then having it say he'd been at the table making his train. I think you meant before he'd got up to look outside? Not quite sure. I also had a hard time with the father's dialect. I'm not against dialects, and have had to use some myself, but I couldn't "hear" the cadence of his, or place it anywhere which made it a bit awkward to read.

When you switched to the new world I was ready to hear about it, yet somehow it failed to hold my attention - which previously you had totally grabbed. I think maybe it was because I was coming off all that emotion and suspense from the previous scene, and I wonder if you could do something to maintain a little of that tension to help pull the reader in?

Just my thoughts. Overall, it's a very intruguing beginning, and you definitely drew me further than most reads. I'm very interested and plan on reading more so you're shelved.

Sarah54321 wrote 1117 days ago

Mr Allen, I loved your book. I am on vacation and literally did nothing else until I had finished it. The real-life emotions mixed with a level of fantasy that I haven't enjoyed as much since reading C.S. Lewis's Lion, Withc and Wardrobe .... and the fight between good and evil... these are all basics in many solid novels, but your creativity is better than most. The characters are so well developed, I think about them even now that I'm finished the book... and want to read it again. Thanks for writing...

Elaina wrote 1118 days ago

Hi Jeffrey

At the end of chapter 3 I am frightened by what lies ahead. So, stopped to comment, and take a breath. This has presence and is really well crafted. I would say polished- you have thought every word and sentence over carefully.

I'm leaving now to place you on my shelf, but will be back to read on as time allows. All the best with this!

Oh, there is just one 'negative' I ould like to point out. I really think your pitch could tell us more about the story. It will gather more readers and therefore more support. Your work deserves support.

Regards
Elaina
Gathering of Rain

iandsmith wrote 1121 days ago

Jeffrey, The opening chapter is great stuff. The second chapter has a lot of italicised questions and reported thoughts which just need developing into the narrative in the way you did with the opening. I'm going to watch this one. All the best -- Ian

zenup wrote 1121 days ago

End of Ch 10, I'm on the edge of my seat - I want to know what happened to Marny! Dynamic stuff, I couldn't stop reading. I did have a lot of trouble, though, with Chapters 7 and 8, trying to picture this other world, which seemed by contrast to be static, decorative, and talky. I gathered that there's an unspecified problem in SouthLand and the madman Mengus is chief suspect. I guess I can fit these two worlds together, but not easily. One reader's reaction, here. I'd really like to see how you develop the two strands.

Casey S. Lee wrote 1121 days ago

Your opening paragraph is an immediate hook. The story invokes powerful emotions. I find myself rooting for the main character, hoping and hoping that together his sister and mother, he will find escape from the hell at home. That you get me so involved with the story speaks volume on your skill as a writer. I savour the read. I’m shelving Gone Away Into the Land. Keep it up. All the best. Casey - Hans of Hamelin

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