WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Extremely courageous Ashley. Real, heart felt, strong, and a book that can help many with the honesty you portray. CONGRATS and BACKED. I do hope you get this on the shelves in the stores. If you could read my book I would very much appreciate it and please comment. BEST of luck
Ashley

Denise

Well done for getting thru it

Ashley,
Before I start to comment on your book, I would like to say that I think it is very brave of you to tell your story never mind putting such a personal tale into the public domain as you have. So, you have my admiration already.
I like the matter-of-factness of your opening few lines. This is well-crafted and rings true about how some people react to devastating effects – this simple statement of fact has more impact in some ways than histrionics.
There’s great attention to detail in your writing, which makes it obvious that this is a true story – such as the fact that your Dad liked the door open in order to feel as if he was part of what’s going on in the house even though he’s stuck in bed.
The story crackles with raw emotion too – those questions we all ask when we lose someone that we love, why didn’t we put our arms around our loved ones more and the rushing to pack as much as possible into what little time you have left.
I think this is a sad story but told with love and genuine affection and beautifully written. On my shelf.
Kipper

Hello Ashley,

What Are You Going to do with the rest of your Life gripped me from the start. His father's terminal cancer, the emotional agony of coming to terms with his impending death, the motion of doing, saying and regretting not being emotional open with his father.

In this emotional ride, you brought together a beautiful collection of characters that cut in perfectly of the type of crowd to have around you in such trying moments. India, his friends, grandparents and siblings are succinctly portrayed. The writing is smooth and your sense of description and style made this a story to return to.

This insightful story deserves a spot on my shelf. However, increasing the size of the characters or letters will make it more readable.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

Hi Ashley, I read and backed this earlier today but when I had finished I was feeling pretty emotional and unable to write a sensible comment. When I saw that you had posted a book here on Authonomy I wasn't quite sure what to expect - having seen a lot of your TV work - and what a surprise.

A very brave piece of writing, you really should post some more. Technically I can't comment - it looks great to me. You write from the heart, it flows beautifully and I like the way you move backwards and forwards in time. But emotionally - well, not sure what to say apart from "wonderful". You write with honesty, many people will have been through similar experiences and will feel great empathy with you, it's easy to share your emotions.

Well done on such a great piece of writing - but it feels a little trite to make a comment like that on a book that is so personal. I wish you and your family all the very best in dealing with life without Hamesy. And you take good care of yourself, it sounded like you needed to. Un saludo, Maria

Now I have composed myself and can see the screen clearly again, all I can say is that in your words you have captured the grinding heartbreak associated with losing a Dad to this vile disease and it cannot help but speak to anyone who has been through it.

It must also give a good insight for those who haven't. It is well written, has a sparse immediacy to it, and the bleak humour which surfaces from time to time is a welcome relief.

I wish you well, both personally and with the book, which is going on my shelf.

I was so surprised to take something...anything positive from this book.

I have to admit, when I first read your synopsis, I did not think I would be able to make it to the end.
But I am glad I persevered.

There is no doubt , this is a terrible, sad story.
And I am sorry for your loss.

But I think you father shines through the pages with dignity and humour and love
You have done him an enormous credit by writing down his story.
I only hope that writing has proved, for you, a useful tool in coming to terms with what happened.

You write with great honesty and I wish you all the best with this book.
It made me smile, cry and nostalgic all at once.

Totally agree with Mektoub (below).

A very timely book, in my opinion: for a generation and for cultural historians.

My dad died out of the blue when I was 13. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if he died slowly - and from reading this I can peak into what it may have been like. You also capture fear of aging well. My dad died when he was 49 - and now I'm 41 and fearing / see signs of my aging. This piece is not an easy read by any means. Kind of a kick in the gut. But I found it moving. I'll give it a spin on my shelf.

I choose this on the attractive title and jacket which led me to think that it would be humorous. How wrong was I! Whilst I can understand anyone wanting to write on this subject I'm afraid reading it is not for me - however, I do wish you all the luck with your work.

Ashley, this is a beautifully told and well crafted book. I like the way you write; vividly descriptive without being cluttered. I'm sure that many readers would get lost in this type of read. I'm happy to put it on my shelf for a bit. Michael (Bravo's Veil)

Ashley,
You have truly captured the pathos, the anguish, the poignancy of losing a family member. All of the feelings, the contradictions, the emotions are here, raw and real, sincere and genuine. You make us look at and confront the feelings that we don't want to think about, of mortality, of love, of living without regrets and most importantly of all, expressing love to our loved ones. Thank you for writing this. On my shelf
Jeff

Ashley,

Good writing; you should post some more of it though. The truth is always hard to write and many times even harder to sell for an unknown writer; maybe you should try writing it as a novel? I put it on my shelf and if you read any of mine please send me any comments you might also have.

Peace,

Keith G.

Hi Ashley,

Just a quick note -- haven't got time to read yet. "I love you" is a three WORD sentence, not three letter sentence. Hope this helps! Look forward to reading.

Elliott (WL'd)

Dear Ashley,
I recently lost my father to cancer. Although he suffered from a multitude of things it was the cancer that took him. I read the first chapter and I will be back to read more. It has triggered something in me, a relationship with your words that cannot be described. My book GoneAway Into the Land was written to deal with not only my father's slow passing but his time with me when I was young. I understand the obsession with the afterlife. It has actually created for me a powerful set of emotions that come through in my writing. I am shelving this book and coming back to read the rest.
Jeffrey B. Allen, GoneAway Into the Land

I had tears in my eyes just from reading your pitch so couldn’t go much beyond ch 2 because I couldn't see anymore. But I read enough to know I love it. Backing it now and will come back to read some more. You are brave to write this and people who went through similar circumstance will find it cathartic. Good luck and may he rest in peace.

Ashley,
Your way of describing your father and what you wish to tell him about your feelings is so beautiful. I recognize it so well from when my parents and my brother died.
It is on my shelf now and I wish you luck with it.
Nillan
Blue-eyed in Luhya-land (Would be happy if you have time to look at it)

Sorry.
Only just realised that after my glowing comments/ report I had not backed your book.
Done now with bells on.
good luck, Ashley.

A brave book, a Pandora's box even. Fair play to you for sharing this and making me think.

Powerful stuff, Ashley. My own Dad died a couple of years ago and these feelings are universal for anyone dealing with grief and you manage to combine the grief with humour too. Loved the cheesey lines when you met India for the first time. So yes, while some who have never dealt with the loss of a loved one will no doubt not want to read this, I think anyone who has will find it a... joy may be too strong a word considering the subject matter, but relief. Yes, relief that our feelings are universal in a way. I guess too that this must have been a great release for you writing this. I thought about writing about both my parents when they died nd yet I couldn't. It still felt too raw for me. Applause to you for managing it in this brave, and strangely uplifting work.

Hello Ashley,

Wonderful, moving and poignant. Very tragic and full of emotion.

This is a beautiful memorial to your father.

Going on my shelf.

Best wishes,

Joanna

Hi Ashley

The writing is crisp and unflowery - I don't know whether that's simply your style or whether you've aimed for a certain starkness given the subject matter. Either way, I think it works. I found this moving and (but?) claustrophobic. I don't know whether it has commercial potential - it's almost too personal and cathartic - but I certainly found it compelling. Shelved.

Hello, Ashley.

I have finally gotten around to reading your book.
I'm on the night shift here at work so it's been the perfect, quiet time to take in a read as weighty as this.

Well, I say weighty, but you have made a heavy subject readable and given great clarity to what loss really feels like. I know. I have been there.

I like the fact that your story is straight-forward.
I like the fact that is a subject matter which affects us all, (whether we like it or not).

No messy adjectives to express what you went through.
Just simple, honest emotions, played out word-by-word in your own voice.

I guess this was a book you just had to write.
I hope it has helped you to come to terms with what happened?

I too lost my father when I was young - I was in my early 30's - and I denied myself the grieving process for a long time. So if you want any advice from me at all , (you probably don't), it is to look after yourself and take your time.
Allow yourself to feel sad, but also look after yourself in the truest sense.
Take in good food, nourish your body, go for walks, see your friends.
Allow those who love you to take care of you.
And admit when things are getting you down. There is no shame in that, son.
Tell your friends, tell your wife, tell your GP, just please tell someone.

Anyway, I hope life gets better and better for you now.
And I really hope this book gets noticed and continues to climb though the ranks.
It's a tough subject to market, but I'll bet there's a publisher out there brave enough to take it on.

Really- the best of luck and it'll be thoroughly deserved.

Well this is certainly a case of "First Sentence Shelving," by which I mean I knew almost instantly that if I saw this in a book shop I would buy it.

This is a difficult subject to write about but not necessarily for the reasons you think. The loss of a parent is tragic enough, forty years on I still relive it, but from a writing point of view it covers all the extremes of human nature, all the emotions of both life and death. There is no broader and no narrower subject on this earth you can put on paper.
You have one unremmitting act to write about and yet there is an entire book to fill. It is purely down to the skill of the writer to convey this life at its very cusp, and make it readable. To do the person you are tragically witnessing being removed from us, the justice they deserve. The prospects of being maudlin are high but you have achieved a good balance. A prospective reader needs to be absorbed, interested in you and your story. You have to stimulate and intrigue in order to keep those pages turning while also respecting the man you honour. This is difficult, very difficult, hence my opening sentence.
I will shelve this, for you, for your father, and your work.
If you have loved you will find the solace you seek for there is no greater gift.
Sincere regards,
Rick Gammons
(Touching Bottom)

"Dad asks how I am feeling and if I am OK and as I begin to respond I can't stop myself from crying. When I have recovered myself he will ask me if all the stock from he office has been sorted out, and I can't stop myself from crying."

First thing, this doesn't flow. Second, never use 'OK', use 'Okay'. Thirdly, it is a brilliant way to end your first chapter. Despite my tedious criticisms, I smiled along with your character. Smiled through the tears. I've done it in extremis. Real life. You've captured it. Spot on.

Looking forward to you uploading more. I really enjoyed this.

Best,
Martin.

Ashley,

Sorry it’s taken me a few days to get to your work. I’m about halfway through but feel I can post something and back it now.

The first thing that strikes me about your writing is its subtle depth of feeling – fear (to focus on just one emotion) for your father, your mother, and fear for yourself and what’s coming.

It’s always hard to write about sorrow and the pain of a close relative’s death, without getting overly morose or sentimental. The odd thing here is that, even after just a few paragraphs, I get the reassuring feeling that nothing will be laid on extra thick. There’s almost a matter-of-fact tone, where the incidents play out perfectly naturally, and that does a huge amount to hit home the stunning reality of your family’s situation. The strength in a family often comes from unexpected sources – Pop and Petal are the proof.

The writing’s not flowery (although it’s clear you can string a sentence or two together well enough), it’s not straining at the seams with cleverness (although you manage to show again and again how much you and your mother care for your father without blurting it out) and, because of that subtlety, it never intrudes into the story. I don’t know if you’ve done that intentionally, Ash, but if you have it’s genius. It’s a great eulogy – and I get the impression that the ‘man finding himself’ undertones will mature later on in the book.

There are one or two nit-picks for grammar (which I can identify separately if you want to know), but generally this is a well-proofed ms.

So well written, and so moving, it’s backed.

Best of luck,

--Jack Ramsay (Brogan's Crossing)

Hi Ashley
What a brilliant read, so beautifully written. I shed some tears as i have also been through the death of my Father. Good luck for what the future brings you and keep writing, you have wonderful talent there.

I couldn't put this down, the way you write from the heart is so moving. It's brilliantly written.

Hope it all goes well for you Ashley.

this is another side of Ashley that the many of us, who have been following him in his post watershed TV career, will find quite moving....it certainly brought little tears to my eyes reading just few paragraphs....I guess the reason why his account is so moving is that it all sounds to familiar and too close to home for many of us.
WELLDONE ASHLEY!

Fantastic and beautiful writing about something a lot of us have had to go through. I have mentioned my fathers death in my book and the line:

"I still worry – as perhaps many sons do – about why I had never discarded that famous English resolve, put my arms around him and told him that I loved him? Not even once! It seems ridiculous. What had stopped me and what had stopped him? Was it just a cultural thing or was it something more? "

Is simply perfect. Well done. I'm with you all the way.

simon
(paint)

Ashley,
It is so hard to write on the topic you've chosen, but you've handled it beautifully. I hope it helped your healing process.
WL'd.
Elle - Defining Someday

I was totally captivated reading this.

I love the honesty and openness of your writing, which I think has allowed you to tackle a very difficult subject with great success.

well done

From one Ashley to another!
I've just read this from start to finish in one sitting. It is a fantastic read; it's natural, spontaneous and very moving. Well done and best of luck with it,
Regards

Ashley

Ashley at his best!!

Oh dear. Oh dear. If this wasn't so well written I would have stayed away from it like a rabid dog and a bowl of water.

This is on my WL for reasons that I'd rather not elucidate here. Except, as you point out, false hope is worse than no hope at all. Without wanting a 'swap', take a look at my synopsis, and you may see why I am drawn towards your book.

Martin.
(My House on the Fjord)

Hi Ashley,
I can so relate to this...it could be my father, only lung cancer. I think you are so brave to write this ;-) I also have a bit of an obsession with/fear of death and dying and what comes after. This is a powerful story, I kept on reading. You describe your emotions so clearly, in a way that makes it easier for the reader to understand how you felt. I wonder if writing this served as a kind of therapy? You write well, you hook the reader and keep them turning the pages. I am going to back this, it really is very good.
Bests,
AnnabelleP
(Adelaide Short)

Ashley, I have just read through everything you've posted so far without looking away from the screen. This is compelling, emotional stuff that must have taken a lot of courage to put down with so much clarity. As a sufferer of depression myself, I naturally empathised with the section describing your own depression, and I applaud how well you have described how it feels.
I think there are a lot of people out there who have trouble coping with and expressing grief, and a story such as this may help them by showing how someone else has lived through it.
I am backing this both for literary merit and because I think it is an important story. Good luck with it!
Xala

Ashley, I'm backing this ... not because it was brilliant but because reading it was traumatic. I also lost my father to (lung) cancer some 22 years ago. And last year my mother also died. Both times I was there.
Although this is incomplete, it's all I'm going to be able to read of this.
As Chris says, it's a tribute to someone very important to you. And writing it out has obviously helped you. It's a sobering contrast to lots of the stuff on here.
Regards,

Hi Ash
Finally got around to reading a fair bit of this. It is clealry a work of love and an almost cathartic experience. I'm guessing you didn't have much choice on whether to write it or not. I understand the title now - I like your dad's style. Your affection for your dad oozes off the page, your line when he was coming from hospital and struggling into the house said it all for me 'he looked adorable' - not something you often hear a man say about his father and completely at odds with your inability to tell him to his face. The bottom line is that you clealry respected your dad and loved him a great deal and that's what counts. i like the fact that you are bringing some humour to this and I can picture you saying some of the things in the book - probably because of the TV stuff. I agree with others that you should think about your intended audience and what you want the book to achieve but for mow keep going
all the best
Phil B

Hello, Ashley.
I did not expect to find a celebrity on this website!

I remember you from the tv and am really surprised to see the subject matter of your book, given your past career.
But I must commend you for it and for putting your private feelings into the public domain in this way.

I am not sure if you intend your book to help others or just to help yourself heal through this terrible experience.
I hope the book achieves at least one of the above, if not both.

Your story is very compelling and I like its lack of structure.
This is by no means a criticism.
I mean I like the fact the story leaps about in the same way that our human thoughts do.

I know you say those three little words have been hard to say over the years, but in your writing I sense that you DO have a lot of love to give.
I hope that now, in your adult life, you are in a place where love is easier to offer up and, indeed, to receive.
Because from one old man to a slightly youunger one, I can tell you that Love is the single most important thing you will ever have in your life.

Good luck with your future writing.
I will keep an eye out for the progress of this one.

Ashley,
This is an incredible thing you have done by putting to paper your story. Your writing is compelling and touching. On my shelf.
See you in print,
Charity

Hey, Ashley.
Have just finished reading your book.

I think your opening few lines are very arresting - very Albert Camus.

It is impossible to ignore such a heart-rendering story and, in fact, the best parts of your story are the parts which are the hardest to read.

Death is an uncomfortable and much un-tackled subject. So well done for bringing it to the fore.

I think you write very well, especially when you allow the reader an insight into your life and emotional thought process.

I hope you find much encourangement here on Authonomy and maybe even a book deal.
I, for one, would love to read more of your work.

All the best
Jessica.

Hey Ashley,

First off, I'm sorry for your loss. This very good form and technique. You really picked up and made me feel like a part of the story when you started talking about your girl, India.

Yet, you speak of your father's death in descriptive terms. Play by play . I think you would be doing something absolutely wonderful for yourself, your father, and your mom if you took some time to walk away from the play by play and include some significant memories. Pepper these in to honor your dad's memory. And in a way they are a tribute to the love you could not speak so often.

I think if you do this, your story will not only provide you with greater insight into your feelings, but it will give others inspiration.

My dad and I became very very close for about 15 years. We're still good friends, but time moves on for me while his is slowing down. He's in his late eighties, and I still can't say I love him. He knows those are hard words for me to say, not at all cultural or gender (I'm a woman) based. But I often say it often in my writings about him. So he knows, and I know my proclaimation of love will last somewhere in print or cyberspace for as long as we're both remembered. At least the love is there.

Dear Ashley,


I am responding to your plug on Forum.

Nice to come across non-fiction for a change. Now that I have read your pitch and synopsis I can sympathize because I suffered this more than once. I was just seventeen the first time and it just about broke me. At thirty five I was so shocked I couldn’t speak.

Now it’s coming closer again, so I do understand. Only a few months.

I have read your first chapter and placed What Are You Going To Do With The Rest of Your Life on my bookshelf.

My comment? You are the same age as my daughter, It is the age of creation, when writers begin to write.

Your writing is good if, in my experience, the narrative is a bit long and could be pared. But that’s a piece of cake.

When you introduce the characters with dialogue and interaction it reads like any good novel. Do you know that publishers are looking for non-fiction that reads like fiction and fiction that reads like non-fiction?

You are at the right age to write. I suggest a novel. You have the experience, the raw material and the ability.

If I can do it, you can. I have no education beyond farm school and use Roget’s Thesaurus to bolster my poor vocabulary. Yet my writing is doing quite well here.

Glad to have you on my bookshelf.


Kind regards,



Pierre.

The Little Girl in the Fig Tree

Hi Ashley. I sympathise with you. My dad died at 59 and I still miss him like crazy. I hope it has helped to come to terms with his death through your writing. Sometimes it's hard to express your feelings to anyone. But put pen to paper and all manner of things pour out.
I'll give this a spin on my shelf to give it some encouragement.
Bless ya.
Sue