The Prophet of Doom

Hi Mark. You don't need my critque on this - absolutely fantastic writing. Why you aren't published already I do not know. I only wish I had the full copy, with a glass of wine in one hand and your novel in the other on a Caribbean island somewhere rather than have to go to work tomor...today (it's just clocked 01:00 am here in the UK so if I get the sack tomorrow I'll blame you. Americans are very good at litigation for no reason I believe!!) Time has flown by - you have a cracking novel here. I wish you all the best and if I could back it 5 times in order to get it in print (so I can go to the Caribbean) I would. In fact I am off to book my next holiday on the strength of it. I hope I get a signed copy as I am sure my vote will keep it at the top!! Seriously, the very best of luck. Best thing I have read on this site to date. Yours is the gold standard we all have to aspire to but only a very few will reach. Mick Bannister - Gibbous Moon (PS I was in New York two weeks ago. I wish I'd have read your manuscript before - I could have delivered my comments in person!)

A tense and involving thriller showing a real confidence in plotting, character and dialogue. I read your opening few chapters with ease; they were exciting, tense and well written. I really hope you maintain your position in the top five as this would be a great choice for the Editor's Desk. Shelved with pleasure.

This is pure genuis. This should already be published. Have you sent it out to agents and publishers? I don't see what reason they would have to say no.

I would definitely buy this to read for pleasure (I like a good scare too). Everything about this story makes me want to know more and more and turn page after page.

I'll definitely put this on my shelf.

I loved the line about the cold air rushing through him and painting his breath grey. I love that!

best
anne

Amazingly and hauntingly descriptive without being overdone. I felt an actual chill run down my spine. Shelved without reservations.
Stauna

I've been needing to get to this -- was off the site for a long time, and am glad to see you've done so well. Read several chapters and see the characters falling in. Writing is mostly crisp; occasionally a bit of expository dialogue crops up. But it's got a motor, and that's the key in this genre. On my shelf. Best, Dave (The Tale and The Chesterfield Hours)

Well done and congrats xxxxxx

Thanks Mark -- most enjoyable.
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

I am mesmerized by this book. I can't put it down (or turn off the computer). Backed.

Mark, you obviously have writing skills. Its a great story and I look forwatrd to reading the whole book at leisure.
Your vocabulary is better than mine which shows in your superb descriptive sections. There is a good balance of dialog and diverse subject matter.
I would deem it a great favoiur if you would take a look at Flawless Murder and give me your opinion.
David

Gripping read worthy of it's gold star.

Hope this proves to be successful for you.

Melxx

Awesome! Wish I'd read it sooner, so I could feel like taking some credit for getting you to the ED. Glad you made it, and I can't wait till you're published so I can read the rest!

~Karilyn
Garden of Souls

Hi Mark,

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get to this, but you made it to the editor's desk anyway, without my help. Congratulations.
It is a very good story even though the concept isn't entirely original and it is very cleanly written.
I will be very surprised if this doesn't find apublisher somewhere and, who knows, perhaps one ay even a film.

Good luck with it

Ron

Wsa wondering how it was going with Harper Collins and if you are planning on uploading a new chapter or two. Am still dying to finish the end of the book.

This is really quite good, I think. Reminds me a bit of a Harry Bosch novel with the excellent use of little domestic details to create character. On my shelf, and will read more.

I am dying to know the ending. I don't wanna rush you but I just sat here and read all of it one sitting and am enthralled so as soon as you are done PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know! I love this. Your characters are so well rounded and the story is truly well thought and enthralling. I am dying here. Can't wait to read the rest! I love it.

Hi Mark,

First I'd like to say I learned something from reading the first parts of your novel. You see my online novel writing instructor has impressed upon me to take one view point, and take the reader through that one character's actions as a way of adding 'life' to the novel I'm writing (called Alecner, currently). Well, during your prologue as you write about the murderer disposing a female body in the woods, I followed his actions, because the way you wrote it made it easy to do so - and aha! I understood what my instructor wanted me to learn. Shelved.

Cynthia

Mark,

You deserve all the praise HarperCollins have given you.

Your novel shines with professionalism and is a joy to read.

A flawless performance.

And weren't HC astute in spotting it even before it reached the Editor's Desk.

Congratulations!

Sheila (Pinpoint)

I have read the first six chapters and I am blown away. This is absolutely the most enthralling story I have read in ages! Good work.

Hey Mark, congratulations on such a great review and good luck with your revisions. Hope they get your book over the line.
Cheers,
Heather

Grats and of no surprise at all to find out HC already spotted this book. You are going to go a very long way my friend.

Congratulations!

Oh, gosh. I've just discovered this book and read right it through at a sitting. What a page-turner! Richly detailed but without slowing the story's pace; taut in the storyline; accomplished in the writing. I'm only sorry I can't say I helped it on its way to a well-deserved gold star, since I found it too late. Will you now please upload the rest and put us out of our misery? I don't have Micah's ability to forsee the end, alas, and I need to know.

A compelling read. First rate. An excellent book. One I would gladly buy and recommend.

Richard Maitland
PS: Could I ask you to take a look at The Sex Stone of Agassia, for a little light relief?

About the best Harper Collins review I've seen!

Mark,

Congratulations! This is an absolutely fabulous HC crit and I'm really happy for you. Good luck with the revisions.

Sheila

What's going on with reviews? I'm dying to see their take on this novel...!

Dear Mark
This really good straight storytelling very well paced and always clear. Got to chapter 5 and will continue
Thanks Mike

Mark, I know my words and support are a little too late to make any difference to the furtherance of your work. But I'd like to say that had I read this prior to it being taken from the Ed's desk it most certainly would of had my vote, sorry about that.
Their review isn't here, was it good, bad, indifferent?

Mark.

Wow! I have read three chapters and i am pulled in. This is very good work and if my eyes weren't so sore from reading the screen I'd continue! As it is I will come back to it - it is staying on my shelf.
Many blessings to you
Paula (Ruined Echoes)

I found the way you referred to the previous prophetic novel particularly interesting. The way you used the dream sequence and the idea of seeing it on the news at the same time seemed like a good idea to me. I won't pretend to have spent my life studying stories, or use words I don't understand, but I think you've got the makings of a very successful author.

Why don't you get Micah Battle to write a novel about an authonomist called msm0202 who suddenly becomes a critically acclaimed author? You never know...

No wonder this book is ranked so high. This reads like a published thriller. It should also be required reading for anyone aspiring to be a journalist. I haven't read a book about newspaper reporting that comes close to this in a long time. Good luck, and if you haven't already shown this to an agent or publisher, what are you waiting for? On my shelf.
Alex

I've already backed this and am delighted to see it on the verge of a gold star. From the very first glance I could see the quality of the writing and I've read every word with great pleasure. It goes without saying that I'd buy this book and I'm sure I'll get the opportunity. My favourite book on the site. I write crime fiction and have been a voracious reader for as long as I can remember which gives me a decent basis for comparison. The Prophet of Doom is an outstanding thriller; a cracking story told by a very talented writer. Congratulations, Mark in advance of your gold star. This is a wonderful book and you deserve all the success that should follow your achievements on this site.
Very best wishes in the future,
Jared

Dear Mark,

I'll start with the proviso which must bore everyone to tears - my comments are subjective, and made by an unpublished writer. So they don't really mean anything.

Great premise. The synopsis would make me pick up the book and start reading. It cracks along at a fair pace, too, and has all the hallmarks of a good thriller, ideal for a train, plane or ship journey. However, I do think you need to give it another edit. I love thrillers, but this one (and I've read 5 chapters) left me feeling a little ambivalent towards it, which for me means that I don't think it's quite there yet.

Good luck with it.

R

Mark,

This is a literary thriller par excellence. One that will appeal to old and young, thriller lovers or not.

It has everything. Pace, tension, intrigue, superb prose, in-your-face realistic dialogue that comes at you like you are right there listening to the characters. Descriptions that take you holding-your-breath through all their escapades like you are right behind them. Characters you can see, walk with, worry with, touch.

Nail-biting. Sad. Funny. Thought provoking. Chilling. Frightening. Unputdownable.

When this is published it will leap of the shelves by the thousands.

The best novel on Authonomy - by far.

Good luck, Mark. And well done.

Sheila

Mark,

This is a literary thriller par excellence. One that will appeal to old and young, thriller lovers or not.

It has everything. Pace, tension, intrigue, superb prose, in-your-face realistic dialogue that comes at you like you are right there listening to the characters. Descriptions that take you holding-your-breath through all their escapades like you are right behind them. Characters you can see, walk with, worry with, touch.

Nail-biting. Sad. Funny. Thought provoking. Chilling. Frightening. Unputdownable.

When this is published it will leap of the shelves by the thousands.

The best novel on Authonomy - by far.

Good luck, Mark. And well done.

Sheila

Mark,

This is a literary thriller par excellence. One that will appeal to old and young, thriller lovers or not.

It has everything. Pace, tension, intrigue, superb prose, in-your-face realistic dialogue that comes at you like you are right there listening to the characters. Descriptions that take you holding-your-breath through all their escapades like you are right behind them. Characters you can see, walk with, worry with, touch.

Nail-biting. Sad. Funny. Thought provoking. Chilling. Frightening. Unputdownable.

When this is published it will leap of the shelves by the thousands.

The best novel on Authonomy - by far.

Good luck, Mark. And well done.

Sheila

Hi, Mark

Read the first couple of chapters, primarily because I wasn't sure where you were taking us after chapter one, which seemed a fairly run of the mill serial killer opening. Not another authonomy killer thriller, I thought. I preferred the second chaper - I felt like I was moving into more original territory with the introduction of Micah. The ability to foresee, emphasised by the shuttle disaster but, cleverly, I thought, backed up by the sudden, surprise (to Micah) warning to his wife, is a great little tag that might keep readers on board and feel that they're getting more than a standard psychopath hunt.

With thrillers at numbers one and two on the authonomy hit parade, I'm guessing there are a lot of readers on here who like this style of fiction. It also perhaps emphasises the need to be as original as you can when presenting this work to a publisher. To my mind opening with, say, a journalist (or oddball) giving Micah a hard time for prophesying the shuttle disaster - and Micah's discomfort with this - might be a better, more original opening for you. As it stands, I'd say publishers would be hit with many, many novels with an opening chapter very similar to yours. Just my opinion though.

Best wishes

DL

Hello Mark,
interesting theme, what to do when you see the future, how wisely can that gift be used, and how will others react to it. I enjoyed reading the beginning and will enjoy reading the published, paper version of it.
Good luck!
be well,
Yasmin

Another great chapter. Moves right along and easy to follow. I'm impressed with your writing.

Very good. The prologue swept me right along with quick descriptive sentences and easy to read. A nice beginning. Good luck.

This has a good, intriguing opening and then moves along at a fast pace. Backed.

Hi Mark, a gold star next to your book will be very well deserved. Hang on in there!

what a great opening! And you never take your foot off the pedal as the book hurtles along at breakneck speed! I'm happy to back this.
Jonathan Watts
Dread Fist

This is an excellent book - well written and deserves its high position on the ranking. Mark writes with assurance and talent and is much too good a writer for me to critique! The subject matter has been done before, but that is okay, it has been done before because it is interesting and fascinating - the danger always is that the story becomes formulaic and predictable. Mark does not have to worry about this - he is a great writer and I want to read more.
Shelved

Mark,
Damn! I shouldn't have done it...and wouldn't have done it, but it was worthwhile. I stole the time to get into your book and loved it.

As I would have expected, your basic capability to write is excellent. That being said, the structure you create with your skills is dramatic, suspenseful, and has subtle, unexpected twists. You build suspense well and your characters are three-dimensional and believable.

Your Micah should meet my Beau: They share some similar features.

In all a terrific production (dismissing nits) deserving of the ED. Ergo, backed!

Alan-Time of the Avatar
P.S. Check out "lede" where I think you meant "lead," unless it is some kind of newsroom jargon.

This is tightly structured and energetic, Mark, and the 'Prologue' does exactly what a prologue should do: it pulls the reader straight in... The central conceit - the distorted mirroring of fact and fantasy - is handled with some charismatic playfulness, and there are some sharp characters (with excellent names!). My one concern would be a very occasional lapse into 'easy' thriller-ese, e.g. the ill wind which fills the newsroom. Generally, though, the writing is pitch-perfect, hitting the right generic tone and style without succumbing to deadening cliché. I'm enjoying this - good luck with it! Ivan (Johnny Face-Ache)

This is easily backed. Opens strongly. Clear premise, believable characters. Deserves to be on the top of the heap.

A couple of nit-picks - use of the word 'damn' sounds weak to my ear. Damn is a word I associate with a voice inflection. Methinks you have to either modify damn with 'it' or 'god' or something inventive, or give it an inflection.
'eyeball to the extreme' this stopped me cold - when I was happily reading along. The sentence 'Micah's bare feet rebelled against the cold checkerboard tile' There better be a big pay-off somewhere down the road for this big hunk o' information. These things stood out because of an otherwise very enjoyable and readable novel. I would expect this to be pubished and I would bet you that the editor is going to pick out these things and get you to find better descriptors.
Regards
M Hart
aka Bred Flink, Lucky 8

While I think your story has some merits, there were a few things that bothered me. You have a habit of stopping everything to give a description. At the beginning, you spend two paragraphs setting a scene before you get to action. When a new character arrives, you stop and describe them. I think it is the best policy to integrate your description into the narrative, rather that breaking for a commercial announcement. It slows the pace of your story to a crawl where, otherwise, it seems to happen too quickly - a man dumps a body, another man has a bad dream and has a cliche conversation with his wife who subsequently disappears. Oddly, when he reappears a couple chapters later, he doesn't wonder what she was going to discuss with him. "Honey, I've been getting death threats" or "I think someone is stalking me."

Furthermore, you set up a scenario where Micah could be a suspect, but with your prologue, you make it clear to us that he isn't involved. You might have missed an angle there. The young, single and desperate reporter with a cop as an unwanted admirer is cliche enough, but you turn it into a triangle, giving us the opportunity to think that she might eventually get together with Micah.

As far as your writing style goes, it is inconsistent, but that could be fixed by a good editor. Sometimes you pick just the right combination of verb and noun to give a clear message, but then you say something like, "the car moved quietly..." almost immediately waxing lyrical about how his high-beams pierced the darkness. Give us a pithy verb to describe its movement better. "His car inched down the dirt track with barely a rustle..." Something like that.

All in all, I like what I've read so far, but IMHO it just doesn't pip what I have on my shelf at the moment.

In any case, good luck on the ED. Just a few days to go.

Steve

Hi Mark,

I've read three chapters and I've got to finish this. It's totally gripping. Make a fantastic film.

You write with clarity, to the point and without unecessary wordage. It's a powerful style and pulls the reader into the plot almost immediately. A page turner. A winner. It's great. It's on my shelf.

Regards, Mike.

Hi Mark, I'm very happy to back this. It's a really interesting theme and a dramatic, striking intro. Best of luck in the chart!! best wishes Katherine (going a bit mad - I put Mike originally and came back to change, then noticed you're now at number one following my vote (I think) Yay!!!)

Mark,

Brilliant! Deserves its top spot and deserves to stay there.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Awesome stuff. The writing is first-rate. This is a real-page turner. I really hope that this stays in the top five and makes it all the way to print. Gook luck.

Hi Mark,

Since you asked, I just read the first few chapters of The Prophet of Doom. Boy, this is a winner! No wonder you're on the editor's desk this month.

Your writing is impeccable and the story drew me in from the first sentence. If I were you, I'd stop editing now because it is perfect in every way. I'm backing you through the rest of the month, and if HC doesn't pick this up, someone else will, and very soon.

Congratulations on a work well done. Susie Parker, Foul Player

Hey Mark. This is really a page turner. You start in the prologue with a killer burying a body, then shoot to Micah whose past is portrayed wonderfully through narration and dialogue. The Columbia disaster was foreshadowed by him and I read your summary and saw that he will also try to warn of 9/11. I think it's cool when you can go back and recreate something people have already experienced and alter what actually happens. This seems like a excellent book that is polished well. I'll definitely back it. Good luck on the desk.

I read chapters 1 through 4, then 10 and 19. My overall impression is that this is very much ready for the ed's desk. The typo count is very low, you clearly have a firm grasp on the structure and pacing, and the writing is excellent throughout.

If I have one reservation, it's that the central plot device - Micah's ability to forsee future catastrophes - isn't startlingly original. However, like time travel, some conceits, if well executed, will always go down well. Also, Micah's inability to forsee his own wife's abduction (or at least, his failure to act on his intuition of it) provides an interesting psychological slant.

It's a minor gripe - this is very polished and deserves it's place on the desk.

A couple of suggestions that you may or may not agree with:

"She had just arrived an hour earlier" -"just arrived" reads like she had just walked in the door, and doesn't sit well with "an hour earlier". Might be better as "she had arrived just an hour earlier"

She's never late - missing quotation marks after "late"?
"a world in which she had no familiarity" - with which?
"She saw no obvious evidence of prophecy in it" - the previous sentence contains "in it", so you could probably delete this repetition with no loss of meaning.
"Blake continued in an almost out of breath pace" - "at a pace", rather than "in a pace"?
"I just got home and want to take a look..." - Larkin has already said "I'm just getting home now", so you could probably end this paragraph with "Blake, let me call you back in a few", since the reader will know that she is going to rush to check out the story.