ALL THESE ARE MEMORIES OF MY VOYAGE

You have a unique charming voice. No wasted words here, great descriptions. It's unusual for a man to write about little girls in the way you have, quite refreshing really.

Nicely written and a joy to read and back.

Melxx

Now this is exciting writing. I adore the absence of clutter in your writing. And the observations are new and fresh, like a world seen with dew on it. There’s so much secret life in your best sentences. The choreography of the prose itself has something of the flitting, fragmentary quintessential quality of time as experienced in the memory about it. Architecturally it’s wonderful. Inventive in its assembling of building blocks. Big thumbs up from me.

Your writing style is poetic, captivating, lyrical, unique. It is an honor and a privilege to have the opportunity to read All These Are Memories of my Voyage. I will finish this one, although I don't relish learning what is going happen to Jennifer. I do look forward to seeing this published and on my living room bookshelf. You have a poignant story, beautifully told, and I wish you much success.
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

David, your writing has that elusive quality which I wish could be taught - of compassion for your characters without sentimental or even emotive language. No true literature can succeed without it in my opinion. I think you're a writer of talent and I hope this is soon published. Backed. Lynn

Once I got over the form, I was amazed by this. The writing is so clean and elegant, no word is wasted, yet its powerful and seething with emotion.
This might just be a work of genius.

Lots of excellent stuff here and clearly 'literary'. The girls' meeting was beautifully evoked, and so was the rendering of it from another angle. It flowed beautifully.
The bit where I started to come unstuck from the narrative flow was:
Late in her life, Serena...
I think at the beginning of a novel it's particularly important to have a thousand -or more- words of unbroken narrative flow to enable the reader to orient themselves within the story and to maintain that flow into the next stage of the story. Even literary novels need to do this! Obviously as writers we have the whole story in our head, so it can be difficult to see why readers don't 'get it'. Hope this comment is useful to you as I think you have talent.
Melanie Kendry The Boy Time Forgot

This is very fine writing, surely among the best on Authonomy - confident and uncluttered, clean and an absolute joy to read ... and good characters, and a good story, and full of ideas, and ...
David Brett, I tug my forelock to you.
Very best wishes for this book ... which I suspect will never be finished ...
Roger Thurling

The two creatures... yuk - but intriguing on watch list

Your daring style is as compelling as the story itself. This has a light and sympathetic touch to the narrative. The bakelite hairbrush is a nice detail, too. Easy to back.
CraigD
The Job

A compelling tale, nicely done. Backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

You have an excellent command of the English language. Your unique writing style makes this a most plreasureable read. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi, I've read 3 versions of the start. In the first one I was too busy getting used to the wavy line instead of quotation marks. Do you think this wise? Publishers don't need an excuse to reject you. Also I think a ; after 'some safety pins'.
Version 2 was too descriptive; rather a reporting style.
Version 3 .. (after 'A conversation...') was good. It pitched the reader straight in to the story. I would go with that.
You have my heart-felt sympathy. I am forever switching this & that around. Backed. Kop - The Lucky Bean Tree.

I'm impressed David. And I rarely say that on here. So I do mean that. You have a unique, too-the-point voice to be envied. And you bring a believable child-like innocence to this story. Understatement, I've found, can be infinitely powerful. And you have used it brilliantly here. You're a good writer and I wish you all the best. You deserve great things with this.
Good luck,
Stephen

I love the narrative voice in this, it's easy to read and follow. I think it's very well written and you bring the characters to life. It's hard to nail the mannerisms of children and still make them easy to read about. You did it though and I'd love to follow them to the end of this story. This is a wonderful job and you are a talented writer. Best of luck with this.

Melissa

I enjoyed the narrator...even though he was out in the open he was like a good friend. The characters were strong and built out of the best describing words (not a laundry list). This is something I would like to read more of, and I'll definitely come back to read the rest!!

Backed!

Dwayne

This is an original story told with a very unique voice. Your writing seems quite simplistic but that would sound unfair - it's direct, immediate and works brilliantly. I would certainly not be your target audience for this book but I was engrossed by the 'Battles' and the inherent racism. This reminded me of roddy doyle's work - intelligent, serious but charming. Well done. carl. The Time Hunters

David

You have what every real writer has: originality of vison. You've taken a commonplace theme (childood and its aftermath) and turned it into something that's consistently inventive and surprising.

Faultlessly written, it's precise, amusing and disturbing in turn. I adored it, and it's on my shopping list the next time I go to Amazon.

This is a sensitive and beautifully crafted saga. It appears to meander gently, with pace replaced by flow, as each of the personae opens and develops, blossom -like, as the tale progresses. The gentility is however, deceptive and the real traits of the players are revealed; Jenny's pragmatism about 'feels' and Serena's sailing close to the wind behaviour. Totally enchanting with just the right measure of foreboding allowed to waft across the stage to warn us of the disappointments to come. This masterly exposition of the writer's craft, is backed, with envy. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

David,
Have just read chapters 1 and 2. A very unique and individual way of writing. I have never come across anything like this before.
It is very realistic and yet disturbing in it's simplistic character portrayal.
i seriously don't know what to make of this. It has certainly got me thinking and that is a good thing
Thanks for giving me the chance to experience this

Diane

Unique...touching...beautifully done, except for the writer's interruptions which are like a playwright coming to the stage every now and then to give commentary to the audience...the intention of the style is good, but these interruptions are working against the overall good of the work...The writer should find a solution and stop the interruptions...Nonetheless, the work merits a 100% backing

Nice Read! Best of luck. Backed....author of December Gold

This is wonderfully sensitive writing. I found it completely captivating and charming. Great writing! Backed. Best of luck. You deserve a great career in literature. Best regards, Jedward (Knut)

I was intrigued by your pitch and I wasn't disappointed when I began to read your book. So evocative of childhood. I can't even put my finger on what makes it so powerful, maybe it's the honesty of the writing.
I've read 4 chapters so far and am looking forward to reading the rest..
Backed x

You have a unique charming voice. No wasted words here, great descriptions. It's unusual for a man to write about little girls in the way you have, quite refreshing really.

Nicely written and a joy to read and back.

Melxx

Hi David

I thought I'd better return the read. You are persistant...

I wasn't disappointed. This is writing at it's very best - the lyrical nostaligic feel reminding me of a mad mix of Laurie Lee and Frank Mccourt - but it works.

I love the idea of 'The Battles' and I loved the line about children from The Battles rarely going to 'High'.

Particularly clever was the very slightly awkward narration at the begin, designed, I am sure, to sound the way children think. It was touching without being mawkish - the bareness and simplicity of the available information echoing the way children feel.

I am normally not keen on prologues and clever little captions and comments between chapters - but here it really works.

In truth, this is one of the works on here that deserves to call itself 'literary'.

A great achievement and I wish you luck with it.

Now think yourself bloody lucky because I'd sworn I wasn't going to do anymore bloody reading on this site. You ground me down, ya bugger.

x

Now this is exciting writing. I adore the absence of clutter in your writing. And the observations are new and fresh, like a world seen with dew on it. There’s so much secret life in your best sentences. The choreography of the prose itself has something of the flitting, fragmentary quintessential quality of time as experienced in the memory about it. Architecturally it’s wonderful. Inventive in its assembling of building blocks. Big thumbs up from me.

I've swallowed 'All These Memories of Your Voyage' at one go. Why? You know why. You know me. You've read some of my upload. Of course, Yours is much more digestible. With loads of sparkling dialogues, evolving structure (initial words of paragraphs left 'hanging' above them intriguingly, alternative perspectives and courses of story-telling offered, document cuts inserted, theatrical solutions introduced to entertain readers who enjoy elements of drama intermingled in a novel) and involving plot (where true emotions are referred to with typical British sense of humour and... reservation). I admire Your style: 'the mechanic description of life', 'Nature as a system', 'the landscape of data' ('Matrix', ha?). We have this saying in Poland. When we like something very much we "support it with both our hands'. So I have backed Your book with both my things that grow on the end of my arms".
Ma.Ste. ('A bloody Pole')

Your writing style is poetic, captivating, lyrical, unique. It is an honor and a privilege to have the opportunity to read All These Are Memories of my Voyage. I will finish this one, although I don't relish learning what is going happen to Jennifer. I do look forward to seeing this published and on my living room bookshelf. You have a poignant story, beautifully told, and I wish you much success.
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Hi David,

I'm not really sure this is the right venue for me to comment in as I am more of a traditionalist, however, despite the fact some of the structure confused me, and I had to re-read lines of conversation to figure out who was talking, I was still COMPLETELY drawn into the story - so obviously your style works brilliantly for your particular work. It was almost as if the two girls were two girls from my own memories, shown to me in flashes. So even though I don't understand the style, it still made magic for me! Kudos to you!

Backed with pleasure
David :)

There is a stark minimalism to this that gives it an original voice. The novel itself appears to operate in a refreshing manner with its tempered allowance of action; no murders or shocking cliffhangers in the first chapters, just a judicious "getting to know you" introduction to Serena and Jenny and their complicated relationship. This is not to say that it is boring in the least. On the contrary, the characters are quite engaging, made more so by the sparse dialogue and commentary: Every word is whip-smart and carefully chosen, every line has a purpose. Very, very good.

Dana L.
The Book of Lucas

Dear David, I like that your book has dialogue & short paragraphs to help make a quick understandable read. Since I've already backed it, maybe it will advance more by my putting it on my watchlist. Thank you for taking the time to send me feedback on my He Loves Me. It is the unedited version of Tell Me True Love Stories. Maybe you'll like it better & back it. Thank you, Susie :)

I do like this. The structure is very clever and the way it is told - the voice, if you like - is more like an insinuation than a narration. It has a kind of dream-like quality, but not dream-like - wistful without sentiment - a quality that is very hard to define but which is superbly effective. This is like a descendant of Joyce - updated but still poetic and laden with truths. Backed. Of course.

All These Memories Are Of My Voyage:

David,

Your observation of character is particularly sharp and there is the feeling of a unique voice in their portraits.
Bridget Ryan will remain in my memory for a long time!
Fluous and easily readable prose carry your characters into an intriguing storyline.

Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Thanks for your story, David. Hope you'll read mine, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not & my unedited version, Tell Me True Love Stories of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. Thanks, Susie :)

I like the writing style of this book: no excess description to get in the way. Just straight to the most important things needed in every scene. Same for the way you set up your characters. We get to know them not by the way they're described but by what they say and do. A good story. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Your writing has a lovely flow to it that certainly adds to its readability. Well done!

H Leigh Cornwell
(Blood Descent)

Shelved!

Best of luck,
Dan.
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

Hello David,

I've just checked out your writing in the web ch1. I'm curious to know why you've grouped your chapters in pairs in the web chapters. Anyway, I like your portrayal of the Irish accent which adds value, and to analogies such as 'face like a fist'. The story has good exchange and flow and you portray human qualities with ease, along with the physical surroundings (this mill race flowed ...).

I did spot a couple of awkward phrases: 'she was still employed there at her death': would have been acceptable as part of a dialectic exchange, and 'but he took off straight after and Ryan they all were from then on'. Minor glitches. Backed

Lee
Trekking the Pyrenees from Coast to Coast

HI David
I love the way you enable the reader to associate with the charcaters effortlessly. Really original too
DP Walker
Five Dares

David, you are screen writer, as I can see in this writing. I wish I could have such talent to write my book. It is touchy when the girl was asked? your mom dead?" it reminded me the death of my mom when I was nine years old. I love everything in your book and I hope your book will be published. Publish!!!!I wrote your website and will buy your book when published to impress my bookshelf. Backed with pleasure.

"I say you must know everything..." is one of the breaking introductory passages joining the prose in a work of literary fiction; eventhough an author's work (from the pitch) soars above finite genre descriptors, this feature is just one of many unique features of this fine work. One comment on the wording of these "connectors" that really are not pure connectors--the abruptness of encountering while reading--"In another version of this story..." might be softened for a reader. The technique used to indicate dialogue (Tilde), is a strong attribute in terms of giving a smooth pace for reading. The interactions among children, while undergoing a slow transformation brought about by age, are marvelous. The dialogue, sometimes sparce, expresses feelings and action in a succinct manner: "Get off, he says. I'm all bothered." This work could be introduced as a text for college students interested in literature. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Very well written book, though I found the unusual quotation punctuation off-putting (call me a traditionalist!) I loves the line that he was not a well-regarded child. An ultimate put-down, Very good! Tania

Very descriptive and refreshing! You've got some talent! I think I may be heading over to get my own copy!

Missy

Wow - you have an art and gift for voices and sharp intelligent dialogue - I have so enjoyed thsi story so far and I will be back for more later! BACKED


Liz
The Cheech Room

ALL THESE ARE MEMORIES OF MY VOYAGE
David Brett

DB,
I read your pitches and chapter 1. I like how you start the chapter with this line, “As we grow older we begin to be invaded by our childhood.” This is so true and reminds me of the “child is the father of the man” doctrine. You develop the cousins Serena and Jennifer well, from childhood. I particlualry liked the dialogue and how you managed to capture the accents of your characters which made the setting authentic. I thought this well written and effective in getting me involved in the lives of these two cousins, whom you do a good job of characterising. Looking forward to reading more as soon as I can make the time.
Best wishes for success David.
Zan

David, this is really something. I love the language you're using. You've really brought Serena and Jennifer alive. A lot of writers have trouble with accents and dialogue but you've done it brilliantly.

You've also managed to blend a perfect amount of backstory without dulling the regular story. That's very hard to achieve.

Excellent job! I'd wish you luck but I don't think you're going to need it.

David

I'm so glad you brought my attention to this book. I love the way you write. Your character descriptions are excellent and you described 'The Battles' so well I could picture it in my head. I also enjoyed reading about the characters from children to when they are growing up. You have an unusual way of writing which is very poetic and works so well. I am happy to back this and I am sure it will be published soon.

Best Wishes

Anna

Brilliant, totally different style of writing (I started a thread ‘books that dare to be different’) I think this needs to be on the list. Admitted it took awhile to pick up the rhythm, but it was well worth it.

Famlavan – Museum of Old Beliefs

Hi

I enjoyed this story. Your characters are well told and you create empathy for the charcters (which is often elusive to many writers incl. me.) I've been trying to create empathy for my MC for years and as yet have not succeeded. If you have any tips on my story they would be greatly appreciated.
Now back to your story. Your writing has a rare talent that other writers struggle to emulate. I think that the first version of the girls getting to know each other is best as the dialogue makes them come alive. The second version is all about telling not showing. I would suggest you weave that info into the story later. That is except for the part in italics about Jennifer arriving from Hull which could be put in at the beginning.
Shelved.
Cheers Olga

There is something so terribly heartbreaking about Jenny showing up with a note pinned to her. You've created a beautiful relationship between the cousins. I enjoyed reading the first 1 1/2 chapters, but I kept waiting for more action. You do a great job of telling us about the girls, I just wanted to read more of them talking to each other and maybe a scene or two in the school yard. Instead of just telling us about the way the kids treated each other, I would have liked to see it through an action scene.

You're voice is very powerful and I can tell why your book is doing well here.

Best of luck

El
Reckless Scarlett

This is a fine novel David, well researched and beautiful writing.
A masterpiece.
Alison Butler (The Hanging of Margaret Dickson)

Your story premise and pitch is interesting and the story itself seems interesting, but as a reader, I'm completely jarred by the style of dialogue and narration. It's not that I never read stories that "break the mold", so to speak, it's just that I tend to wonder "why" fairly often.

I was able to eventually grow used to the strange dialogue style in your novel, but I'm not sure many readers in a book store would even try. Writing for the sake of writing is something I'm just rarely a fan of, as it tends to overshadow the actual story.

I'm very curious about how you arrived at the decision to keep your style of dialogue, rather than go the route of tags and quotes and the devices that readers have come to depend on as visual signals of people speaking.

Take my comment with a grain of salt, of course. I can definitely see why many people love this! Keep working and thanks for sharing!

Hello courtmuse, many thanks for your backing and here's brief note on your comment. Generally, Authonomy readers have not strayed outside their own language. My punctuation is normal in French, and is used by James Joyce - see esp. 'Dubliners'. I like it because there is less ink on the page and fewer pixcels on the screen; and I use the ~ in preference to a -- because it goes better with Times New Roman. But also because when this book was first uploaded the site refused normal punctuation, and even inverted commas " " . You cannot imagine how long it took, for some obscure electronic reason, to get back to what you are calling normal speech marks ! By that time I had decided to stick with what had become normal to me. Also, I think learned what little I have of the art of fiction from French writers such as Gide and my ideas on design stem mainly from the 1960's when publishing was far more adventurous than it is today. As a general comment on Authonomy, I don't think most of the authors know how very conservative their work appears. This is not, of course, a remark on the quality of their work; but on its presentation, format etc.

A very different style of writing, but you manage to pull it off very well. The story hooks quickly, the settings are vivid, and the pace and voice keep the reader engaged. I'm happy to give this a bit of time on my shelf.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Your story premise and pitch is interesting and the story itself seems interesting, but as a reader, I'm completely jarred by the style of dialogue and narration. It's not that I never read stories that "break the mold", so to speak, it's just that I tend to wonder "why" fairly often.

I was able to eventually grow used to the strange dialogue style in your novel, but I'm not sure many readers in a book store would even try. Writing for the sake of writing is something I'm just rarely a fan of, as it tends to overshadow the actual story.

I'm very curious about how you arrived at the decision to keep your style of dialogue, rather than go the route of tags and quotes and the devices that readers have come to depend on as visual signals of people speaking.

Take my comment with a grain of salt, of course. I can definitely see why many people love this! Keep working and thanks for sharing!

Loved the narration of this story. It has a great voice.
Right from the beginning it has a clarity and a smoothness.
Nothing Jars. Nothing takes you out of the story.
I even got over my little nitpick about lack of speechmarks.
Backed
David
Bailey of the Saints