Thomas Redpool Goes To Hell

HA. This is hilarious writing. I love your anti-hero Thomas, a complete asshole who is realistic about being sent to hell, while everyone else is hoping for redemption. I about died when he called that woman a baby factory. HAHA. Thomas is a complete asshole, but I can't help liking him somewhat. The idea that he's such a sinful douchebag that the demons in hell hire him to help iniate Armageddon is a genius, unique, hilarious idea. This is gold! Fucking gold I tell you!!! SHELVED!

Ok, now you must issue a warning with this book. Firstly, never start reading unless you have allocated enough time to read every chapter posted. It is a highly addictive book.
Secondly, be prepared for really wierd dreams that night. On a twenty out of ten wierdness scale. Do not blame a late night snack of chocolate and cheese washed down with coffee and red wine. It will be all down to Thomas Redpool goes to Hell.

A good read - I wish there was more of it. You take the idea that hell is what you make it and express it with vivid characters and settings. I love the idea that Satan is depressed because of his relationship with his dad. I laughed out loud at the road construction worker in traffic hell who offered to show Thomas how the machines worked. No wonder traffic is at a standstill.
Backed.

Dear Todd Newton,

Thomas Redpool Goes to Hell, methinks you could sell it based on the hilarious title alone, but it's funny stuff. Right, Mark Twain, go for the interesting company.

Best and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Ok, this looked intriguing and I was right. This is a ray of light on a dark topic, and completely awesome. I found myself laughing aloud more than one and I don't do that! I know what it's like to lose ground on this site and I hope you see an upswing because it is well deserved.

Backed with a smirk!

Amy Romine

Dead Air / Trust Me

Ok, this looked intriguing and I was right, this is humorous, pulling and just a great ride. Very nicely written and I love the light you bring into the darkness of the concept.

Very cool, I hope you gain some additional support this yours is a voice worth listening to!

Awesome, keep writing...

Amy Romine

Dead Air / Trust Me

This is humourous and hopefully the whole tongue in cheek was part of your intention here! This is normally not my genre but someone mentioned I give it a shot and I am so glad they did! You have a gifted imagination (depressed Satan) and a talent for putting it on the page! Very well crafted and lively - pacing is superb! BACKED and will return for more of this treat later!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Had me smiling from the very beginning. This is "extremely" good!: Original, funny, well-written, and, even a little lesson hidden, here and there, on the nature of good, evil, forgiveness, and redemption (you'll have to look hard!). Again, for me, one of those rare pieces where I wish I'd written the "damn" thing, no pun intended. Backed.

What can I say? The pitch is laugh out loud funny, and your first excerpt, at any rate, is as funny as the pitch. Well written, tight - in my view - and did I say it was funny?

Yeh. I'd buy this!

Shelved.

Cheers

Mary Mc
Few are Chosen - comic fantasy

Thomas Redpool Goes to Hell...

Everyone else says this is hilarious, and when I stop laughing, I guess I'll say it, too. However, I sense that underneath all the humour, I'll find a deeper thread. Maybe Thomas will be redeemed, after all, right? No matter.

Only one nit: I'd make your first chapter shorter. That's it.

The writing is great. I always admire people who can write comedically. Bravo.

Shelved, of course.

Cheers,
Sheryl
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES (would love your honest reactions)

Read the first chapter and loved it!

HAHA:
Hindsight 20,20...
Downside of refusing to love neighbor...
Throw in a good word for me...
You and your gang don't scare me, Jesus!

I love how you've written a book about hell and have thrown in humor as well. It is just super!!!

And what a story to make you think!
"Because Thomas, I created you."
"Then all this is your fault."
This may as well have been taken out of my OWN head LOL. It borders on my own beliefs and is very similar to the theme at the end of my own novel. :)

Love his optimistic views and how he warms up to the idea of making hell something he can manipulate...
I also love the conversations in italics.

Noticed a couple things:

***KNowing little enough about dogs, I guess that Cerberus was almost a mixture... (guessed)

***causing a few of the trailing imps to collide with hits hind quarters. (its)

***The demon growled; a low, guttural noise that that invaded my ears like a howling wind. (that that)

I'm definitely throwing this on my shelf and coming back to read more!

Cheryl
PS: Would love your opinin on Damn You.

Hey Todd!
Should have written this a while ago, but I’ve been playing catch-up. But, hopefully better late than never…

Right, well… this is great!
I read Ch1-2 and I like the use of 1st person narrative and you write it in a strong, clear voice. The flow is smooth and I quaff down your prose eagerly. I’m quickly grounded in the protagonist and view his journey through his eyes. And I also like ‘the Voice’ of Thomas’ conscience. This is highly original and exiting – I’ll definitely be back for more. I want to see how the take over bid goes.

A couple of point from Ch1.
- I’m curious as to why T would start cutting himself in Ch1 though. Is this showing his character? Or is it because his new body fascinates him?
- You tell the reader about Cerebus and describe him well, but could you also try to evoke fear or awe? Or am I missing the point of a throwaway style to your prose?

But anyway, these are very minor points. And I’m nit-picking because there is so much that is great here. The real point is that you’ve accomplished an incredible piece of work and I’d recommend it to anybody.
For that, I’m going to back it, regardless of whether I have before - just for the HELL of it.
Nice one, Todd.
Very Best Wishes
David
Green Ore

Hi Todd,

I loved the humour. I know Though Thomas isn’t a hero, or by any means someone to look up to, I found him to be engaging. You have a wonderful imagination and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this fascinating story.

Shelved!

Shinzy :)

Hello, Todd - with apologies for the late arrival. Lovely stuff here. Great pitch (but what is 'sics' as a verb? My OED lets me down...), ad an innovative premise that you seem to handle well in this opening. You have an engaging voice, sardonic and *knowing*. I feel comfortable in your hands. Good work, sir. On the sesty shelf for a spell. Best of luck with it - sestius

This is hilarious. Once I got past the somewhat dragging introduction into hell, I couldn't stop reading. Thomas is great. This is sort of a modern-day Dante. Shelved, sir.

Cheers!
Jamie (The Unlikely Witch)

HA. This is hilarious writing. I love your anti-hero Thomas, a complete asshole who is realistic about being sent to hell, while everyone else is hoping for redemption. I about died when he called that woman a baby factory. HAHA. Thomas is a complete asshole, but I can't help liking him somewhat. The idea that he's such a sinful douchebag that the demons in hell hire him to help iniate Armageddon is a genius, unique, hilarious idea. This is gold! Fucking gold I tell you!!! SHELVED!

Dear Todd,

Funny, funny opening. The fire that he'd started.
Elevator is modifying "last person to step out" rather than the stumbler.
Great visuals, the beer guts and love handles.
Funny bit, the slap upside his head. Fascinating logic, that God created T, and was therefore responsible for his screw-ups.
The device of the conversation in italics between T. and his superior is well done.
Missing why Tom calls her Mrs. BF (the Baby Factory reference is a bit oblique – suggest making a clearer connection).

T. is an intriguing character, not easily rattled, not even in the depths of hell. A hero/anti-hero at the same time. You gotta respect that. Yet at the same, a tad foolish. If he's being given the opportunity for an elevated status in Hell, one might think he'd keep his mouth shut. Or at least show some signs of cheer.

The descriptions about the Nether World are marvelous.
The relationship between T. and Jam also looks to be intriguing.

Some of the punishments are priceless: Calculus Court, pop quizzes.

Is it on purpose, or an error, that both the math teacher and the construction guy both have the last name of Sanders?

T as the Devil's errand boy – great stuff!

My few cavils: Suggest reviewing the narrative – it does tend to rattle on a bit. We want to know what's going to happen next – it's literal "hell" to have to wait! Also, perhaps you might want to rethink the ending to Ch 1. Best to push us forward to the next chapter, yes? Shelved, with pleasure.

This is shaping up to be a fun romp, with a descriptive Hell that incorporates a couple different traditions (oo, look, Cerberus!) but with your own twists. The tortures so far are pretty straightforward (what you fear = what you get), but the number and VARIETY of them make for a really entertaining gallery. Redpool is a fascinating protagonist, and a splendid one for a Hell story. Okay, a lovable sweetheart REALLY isn't going to be able to turn the tables on some VERY scary, very powerful demons! But I vacillate between rooting for Thomas and feeling DECIDEDLY oogly about doing so when, for example, we flash to some of his crimes on earth (keeping these at a reasonable distance, with the CHARGING of them rather than the commission of them is a good idea!) or see him wanting to play with the TORTURERS in the Humiliation Studio and so forth! But this is the guy we need for the job. And for all his confidence, apparent competence, and screw-you attitude, Redpool has got a BIT of a challenge here. Naturally, he's got one of the nastier demons to have to tangle with! The writing felt pretty smooth, and I didn't feel dragged out of the moment; though I did notice a repetitive typo of "it's" for "its" -- which is easily fixed. Fun stuff, and nice work!

Hi Todd! The best part of your book is how you make your character think, experience, and ask what every one of us would in the same situation. Everyday man goes to Hell. Well done! I especially like the humour which was there right from the start. Lines like, "I realized I couldn't do this for eternity." I often thought that myself about the afterlife. Great premise. I wish you the best with this work and your writing.

Michael
The Last Coming Out Story

Wow, your imaginative imagery is very well crafted into an intriguing vision of damnation. This is really good reading. You manage to bring humor into an otherwise horrifying experience without removing the element of eternal suffering. About the only suggestion I would like to make is that the main character's own angst isn't too readily visible. I should think that his own pain would further deepen the plot of his decision to take over hell.

Shelved, and best wishes for you success. I would carry this home from the bookseller's shelf in an instant. Well done!

tyler
In Search of Me / Alex

A very sophisticated laugh, Todd, and a joy to read. Backed.
Lynn

Hi Thomas.
What a wonderful vehicle for all the Hellish puns! This is great stuff, hugely entertaining. I alternatively sympathised with and vilified Thomas for his pre- and post-death experiences, and was definitely engaged enough to want to know how his 'life' in Hell panned out.
In your pitch I absolutely loved the line: 'with Satan depressed and useless.' What a concept!
I did notice a few grammatical errors but nothing too terrible. They didn't detract from my enjoyment of the book. I'm shelving this for sheer originality.
Cas.
(KING'S ENVOY)

Wow! This is just different enough to make it. Well done, Todd.
I read chapter 1 and found it enthralling and found nothing to nit pick. I love the premise, so if your story is as good as it seems - with a good plot and conclusion, then it should be commercial. My only quibble is the title. It gives no hint at the quality of the story - I guess it sounds either quirky or aimed at a younger market (which it clearly isn't!).
I'll shut up now and shelve it. Well done, indeed.
Chris (I Dare You)

"But i saved all those people from that fire."
"Thomas you started that fire."
Out of all the wonderful lines in this story, this was the one that had me laughing the hardest. :-)
You've had a great idea here, I've never read anything like this. It's original and well written, ya can't ask for more than that. Shelved.

Regards,

Mark H

Todd,

I was in hell, and liked it, although the chapter was a little too long. I will be going back for more.

Kostas
Hariklia's Icons

Todd,

Great idea for a book, and you pull it through like a pro. Humorous, fun, imaginative. I couldn't ask for more. Happy to give it a whirl on my shelf.

Heidi
Turning Red

By authonomy standards chapter 1 is awfully long and perhaps a little daunting. i love it though right from the opening about the heat and the fire and the blackmail through to the Humiliation Studio, via the missed exits to foregiveness.

this is dry to the point of crackling. funny and wicked.

shelved.
maitreyi
BLOGSPOT

Dear Todd, Thomas is a charming devil, and this is, so to speak, one hell of a read. I admire how you’ve made imaginative and playful use of figures and elements draw from traditional renderings of hell, and how you’ve just as imaginatively and playfully updated the old place by incorporating images and occurrences from contemporary life. Your readers will feel, well, not right at home maybe, but at least among torments they can identify with (the never-ending traffic jam is one of my favorites).

I also like how you’ve included flashbacks of Thomas’s brief time in heaven pleading his case: this helps to flesh him out (poor choice of words). The writing is superb: the precision and detail make Thomas’s hell easy to see and feel, if not easy to take, and his irrepressible irony and disdain make him seem heroic: indeed, when he challenges and kills Cabal, he seems quite the action hero, and the scene, though brief, is very exciting.

I’ve read three chapters, so the time I saw Thomas he was on the way up down there, but I see from your pitch he’s soon due for further punishment. I’m eager to learn how Armageddon is going to play out: I’ll certainly read on, but please promise you won’t put Thomas back into the Spinning Commode—that I found truly hellish. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

I love humor, however dark when dealing with hell. Not somethinf I could have written, but boy could you. i was drawn along steadiely and kept wondering how it would all turn out, great job, there is a market for this without a doubt. Thomas, I wonder how youy decided on that name, is a stronly written player in the destiny of the world. Keep at it and get this to the desk, it deserves a chance. Kennesaw

Hello Todd,

Hell! I'd better try and make sure I don't end up there! This is original and witty and full of surprises. Baby factory!

You feed the info in, enticing the reader to want to know what Thomas did to get him there. Love his arguments and his promising to do better if given another chance.

In sptie of the fact that he's a terrible sinner I feel for him.

This will be one for my shelf when I make a space. On my Watch List till then.

Best wishes,

Joanna

Hi Todd -Shelved.

Difficult to find an appropriate comment. You keep the story moving and you obviously have a plan. The innovation is enough to keep your reader interested when it flags a bit.
I would break the whole thing into smaller chapters, so you get more readers. I did wonder if I had dropped into the Authonomy readers hell at one point, but the story was interesting enough to ignore it.

Cheers
John

I've read enough to know it is well written and book to shelve. You have good dialogue, good crisp sentences and your words flow. It took me a while to figure out in chapter one who everybody was; the characters. It might help to introduce them better, but having said that, I think you have a winner here.

This sounds like a good read. I think I will put it on my 'watchlist'

This is one helluva story. OK, sorry, I couldn't resist. But it's true. Thomas is one of the most unique characters I've seen on authonomy, and the writing is nearly flawless. This is a model of how to use first person. There are few wasted words here. The story is clear, concise, and funny as hell (OK, I still can't resist).

Early on in the first chapter, I laughed and cheered when I read this: "No one spoke while we walked. One man tried to whistle but, being that we were already in Hell and I couldn't see the downside of refusing to love my neighbor, a slap upside his head put a stop to that."

Love it.

And it just gets better from there.

I'm backing and will keep reading.

Mark

Hey Todd, I've just shelved your book, and I'm looking forward to reading it...I read the first few grafs and I remember it being a grabber. And fun.

Loved every minute - one of the few books I've read that grabs you - you just want to read more and more. Funny too. A new take on hell and I love Thomas - he's a great narrator - his smart ass comments and rebellious attitude make this gem great. So many things he said - prayers, don't they know there in hell, etc. And how he acts in the interview - well, I guess we all have to serve somebody - kind of. Shelved without question.

this is worth a backing for sure. Ive never said that up front before but then again, I just read a book which made hell freezing over seem fresh.

After reading the first three chapters l was left craving more as I wanted to find out what happens next to Thomas. The imagery painted by the author is clever and descriptive, but still allows the reader to interject his/her own imagination of the characters and their surroundings. The subtle and not so subtle humerous interjections are perfectly dispursed throughout these first three chapters. I found myself laughing aloud several times. I can't wait to read more about Thomas' new job and adventures in Hell.

It's amazing how you can take the "sinner lord" and make him into an almost likable character! I thoroughly enjoyed reading his conversations with God when he died. Overall, well-written, vivid descriptions and full of hooks. Thanks for a great read!

Todd,
A modern day Dante's Inferno, with wry humour and and keen observations. Thomas is an interesting chap. Bitingly sarcastic, defiant, and quite the realist. Sometimes he does turn a bit cowardly, but have to admire him for his attitude. Reminds me of the old Tom Petty song, "You can stand me up at the gates of Hell, and I won't back down."
This is very engaging, my only complaint being that I would have loved to been in the room when Cabal finished their talk.
Well done, on my shelf.
Jeff

Ok, now you must issue a warning with this book. Firstly, never start reading unless you have allocated enough time to read every chapter posted. It is a highly addictive book.
Secondly, be prepared for really wierd dreams that night. On a twenty out of ten wierdness scale. Do not blame a late night snack of chocolate and cheese washed down with coffee and red wine. It will be all down to Thomas Redpool goes to Hell.

Oh this is delicious! I was totally hooked from the opening line and have devoured every word in one read with a wide grin of pleasure. Thomas is a wonderful cynical and cunning creation, a very bad boy who would never have to sleep in an empty bed! This is a delightfully insane vision of Hell with its wierd departments and pointless beaucracy. But then again the whole biblical concept of hell is just as barking mad!
I was entranced by the visualisation of Satan, an extraordinary and evocative image of a despairing and beautiful fallen angel, a highly imaginative creation of an other worldy being unlike any portrayal of Lucifer I have ever seen.
The writing is crisp and crackles with a unique creativity and a wry dark wit.
It ticks every one of my backing rules, would I buy this in a book store? In a heart beat. I
I hope I get the chance to read the rest. In a real book preferably.

Fascinating subject and excellent writing. The feast scene in chapter 5/3 is very funny. Got a slight sense that you might be holding back on the horror/humour in places - if you are then I suggest that you be brave - it is Hell after all. Italics slightly distracting, but nothing to worry about really. Kept me reading all the way to the end of what you've uploaded so far - please keep going. On my bookshelf

Lisel
Isis In Crisis

I loved the humour and the descriptions - so vivid. I found myself reading on and on, and loving it. Backed.

-Jenny-

Hello Todd,


I like the story a lot. You write with a good sense of humour. The pace is good, the characters are credible and your setting is intuitively observed.

Such a well written work and such a good pacing goes far to lighten the heaviness of the story . I Like the characters, their credibility and especially their styles.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

Authonomy seems to be attracting all the best comedy around. This is a marvellous addition, we would all like to face Hell with aplomb like Thomas so he may as well go first. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Lord Dunno: Thanks very much. Again, the "comic book" comment is something I've heard from multiple folks. Not sure exactly where to go with it, but I figure it's a great compliment.

Amanda: Woo! If you like "Avatar" even half as much, I'll be happy. Thanks for the shelving; I should be getting to Mercury later on today. Still have a lot on my WL.

Rayo Azul: Thomas really is what makes this story work, so I'm glad you at least felt conflicted! Thanks for the feedback, and shelving. I will do my best to return the favor shortly.

Very different. I found myself liking Thomas, although wasn't sure whether I really should. Your descriptions are excellent as are the flashback conversations. Just how nasty Thomas has been slowly coming out, with irreverant conversations and it works very well.

There is a black humour which subtly underpins this and it is cleverly done, so that the possible darkness of this whole story is hidden somewhat.

Really liked it. Shelved.

Cheers

Rayo

Wow, this is good stuff Todd. I can't wait to read The Ninth Avatar. Already shelved, but felt compelled to comment.

Reads like a comic book and that can only be good, unless it's a rubbish comic which this isn't. Cracked, warped and a great thrill ride.

Thanks Phil. I've heard a lot about China Mieville but have not picked up any yet, so I will place some holds at the library and see what happens. I appreciate the recommendations and the feedback.

Hi Todd
I stumbled on this and ending up readng all the way through it and i must confess I got wrapped up in the story so didn't pay attention to the usual points for feedback - grammar, punctuation etc which I found so useful when I first came to the site. I'm intrigued by the premise and how Thomas has become so influential so quickly. i like the style some of it reminds me of China Mieville and aspects of Peter Hamilton's Night's Dawn trilogy which mixed 'normal' people with history's greatest monsters.

I am putting you on my shelf and looking forward to reading more. My only criticism is that I don't find it menacing enough so far and the bad guys aren't bad enough but that may be to come. A really great idea though. Will read on when you post more and give you some more useful comments.
all the best
Phil B (The Human Harvest)