Call Me Lizzy

The contrast between Lizzie's grandmas - the one who wears mini-skirts and the religious one in Dripping Springs made me smile! just imagine the place, a dull small town, with rather po-faced people.

I read the first two chapters. It was a fun read, and I'm putting it on my WL, so I can get back to it. I believe it could be tightened up in places, but the story is really good.

Hello Mary -- Call me lizzy--
what a perfect way to finished my reading before bed last night ,
after reading at least eight chapters and a few more chunks, i felt good.
your story is so uplifting and a delightful adventure to read.
Dripping springs,Tennessee sounds like heaven.
you write this tale in a lovely flowing style as you bring us out there to meet granpa puckett and grand ma.
All American life is in this wonderful tale, it is a page turner that one could read to grandchildren for them to enjoy. every line is certainly very inspirational
i give it six stars with pleasure
tom bye Dublin Ireland
' from hugs to kisses';
obliged if you could back or comment mine, about a boy growing up in 40s Dublin
i am told it's also inspirational and uplifting . thanks

Hello Mary -- Call me lizzy--
what a perfect way to finished my reading before bed last night ,
after reading at least eight chapters and a few more chunks, i felt good.
your story is so uplifting and a delightful adventure to read.
Dripping springs,Tennessee sounds like heaven.
you write this tale in a lovely flowing style as you bring us out there to meet granpa puckett and grand ma.
All American life is in this wonderful tale, it is a page turner that one could read to grandchildren for them to enjoy. every line is certainly very inspirational
i give it six stars with pleasure
tom bye Dublin Ireland
' from hugs to kisses';
obliged if you could back or comment mine, about a boy growing up in 40s Dublin
i am told it's also inspirational and uplifting . thanks

I've submitted a Christian piece and wanted to look for others with the same "tag". Came to yours. I read the first and last chapter. The beginning...and the end. Christ the healer, the restorer, the Savior. I like it.

This story pulled me in from the start. I like the storyteller's voice. It seems authentically young. Needs a bit of editing for punctuation, etc., but well worth reading.

Call me Lizzy: I like it. Good conversations which come across as very real. Good mental pictures formed. Backed with pleasure.

Mary-Lou building up the wig with customers' hair is hilarious.
You don't allow subjects like divorce and cancer to suppress the vibrant tone of your writing or to make it sanctimonious, though that's not to say they're taken lightly - the attention to Thelma's wig shows the practical and kindly concern of people.
Children often think divorce is their fault. They'll find this book not only entertaining but a help too. Great dialogue, by the way. Backed. Lynn

OMG this is so my life - my name is lizzie - my dad was military and my mom left him for another man! Shit - we need to talk! BACKED of course!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi Mary,

I'm determined to get back involved at Authonomy. I put your book on my shelf. I'm down here at Johnson Bible College at a history conference. See you Sunday.

Hi Mary,

I'm determined to get back involved at Authonomy. I put your book on my shelf. I'm down here at Johnson Bible College at a history conference. See you Sunday.

A bright, fun story for children with great characterisation and some really nice touches on dialogue. Lizzy is a great lead character and there are lovely flashes of humour throughout. Shelved.

Mary - this was really enjoyable - I only had time to read the first three chapters but I'm now left with a slight problem - I want to know if Lizzy is going to adjust to her new life with her relatives. I do have a feeling that she will eventually adjust and enjoy her new life though.

You potray the characters so well. Grandma and Grandpa Puckett seem like genuine, proud, loving folk and from what I've read of them, I'm sure they have all the best intentions for Lizzy (even if Lizzy may not initially agree).

The start was a bit sad - my parents divorced when I was younger and a split is always a difficult journey for everyone involved, but more so for the children. The arguing in front of children and parents drifting away from each other is unfortunately a common occurrence in this day and age and this you portrayed really well, (especially as this is a children's book) and I did feel for Lizzy.

At least it isnt all doom and gloom and the wig catching fire was certainly an eye opener. Its good to see that you have added humour to the story and it shows that no matter what happens in life, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately for Mary Lou this light was fire, but you know what I mean.

As mentioned earlier, this was an enjoyable read and although I enjoy fantasy as a form of escapism, it's also good for children to read a book of this type which takes them on a more spiritual journey into the lives of others and experience things that they may not normally be accustomed to. Shelved!

I love your plain english open style. Lizzy sounds very authentic and I'm already sympathetic. This is very unlike my Splinters plot which I'm experimenting with all the time. It's tricky to break new ground and it is quite polarising. I've made changes on some comments, only to find new comments prefer the original. Hey ho! Watchlisting you now.
Best Wishes
Rob Bassett

Hi Mary, I love the book. Lizzy is one of the best childrens stories I have read in some time. This is just a wonderful book for any age. I sure loved it.

Hi Mary: I only had time to read through ch 3 this morning when Lizzy's introduction to her relatives in Tennessee made me nostalgic for my Kentucky mountain family and those many years ago when the aunts, uncles and cousins all gathered at my grandmother's house. What a lovely story! I kept picturing a young Hayley Mills as Lizzy and a Walt Disney movie - I hope that really happens! Such a wonderful story for all ages, and a family movie. Congratulations on a finely grafted, compelling read. On my shelf now.

it's a nice story with many lively details. Funny and serious details surrounding the little girl.

Strong writing and age appropriate reading for 4-6. Nice sprinkling of details of mid-western life, circa the 60's. Good job. John

Your writing, your characters, and your voice are quite appealing.

Dripping Springs, Tennessee sounds like a place I’d love to visit. In addition to June bugs hitting the screen doors, I imagine it is one of those places where you also can see lightning bugs and meteors at night.

The only thing I would suggest is that you take a look at the dialogue tags. I think a lot of them can and should be eliminated to facilitate the flow. Other than that, I like Call Me Lizzy. Shelved. Good luck with it.

Rodney
Saturdays At Margie’s Beauty Salon (The main character in my novel is named Liz)

What a lovely story. So gentle and full of grace. I love it. I hope you are sending it out to some Christian publishers. I will send acouple of people your way to read it.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Hello again Mary,
I’m starting this again from the beginning and making a few comments as I go. As I’m not an American I’m uncertain what the American Legion Post is; presumably similar to the RSL club here, I’d guess. Um, would the judge deciding on Lizzy’s guardians REALLY be so influenced by the accident with the wig? Seems very unprofessional to me. I also thought Lizzy’s mother was selfish to want to go off by herself, especially as she and Lizzy’s father were separating.
Dripping Springs! Loved the name. And I do like Lizzy; she seems able to enjoy her life, wherever she is.
‘ … grabbed Shelby’s hand and DRUG her along … ‘ This could just be a language thing; we use ‘dragged’ rather than ‘drug’ for the past tense. And all that food made me feel hungry!
* smile * This is such a pleasant read, Mary. I do hope your schoolkids enjoyed it. Considering what a change in surroundings, Lizzy adapts easily. Yeah, Jacob needs a good swift kick and Brenda is a bitch. Presumably they’ll get their just deserts one way or another.
You used ‘a scissors’ – did you mean ‘a pair of scissors’ or is this just another language difference?
You know, it’s very refreshing to see religious communities portrayed as having such a wonderful sense of humour as well as a sense of community.
Oh, I LOVED what Kenny did to Brenda’s fingernails.
Nit pick: you need to make sure you use a capital G for Grandpa; it’s been missed a few times but that’s probably just a typo. Same with Grandma, and Mom and Dad, too. (It’s an American thing, I know, but the word Mom always grates on me; I much prefer Mum. Just a language/cultural difference. * smile * No offence intended.)
Ch 20, first line you have ‘sill’ where you meant to put ‘still’.
(Sorry; I don’t wish to annoy you by harping on the typos. I have however found that we miss them in our own work as we see what we think we wrote, and they leap out at other people. They can be so easily fixed then, too.)
I have no idea what a snicker doodle is, but it sounds delicious!
This is a NICE story, very different in tone and approach from much of the other YA books on here. And it was a pleasure to read.
I felt Lizzy was such a lucky child; she was very much loved by two separate sets of grandparents with totally different lifestyles and values, but she coped very well with the differences. Good on her. And it was a positive that neither set of grandparents ran the other down at all in a nasty or spiteful way
‘grim-faced’ soldiers … may I suggest ‘sombre-faced’ as that indicates they are delivering bad news, not being threatening. Just a suggestion; feel free to ignore it. Poor Lizzy; feeling it was all her fault; I believe this is often the way kids see things; that it’s something they’ve done that has resulted in death or separation.
Nice ending. Okay, over all a little too sentimental and sweet for a lot of people, but there would also be many others who would enjoy this, as I certainly did.
All the best with it

Hi Mary

Lizzie has a great voice. You explain her very well. While this story is a bit too 'american pie' for me, I can see it doing reasonably well with your target market.

I think the best feature of your writing is the dialogue. Very natural.

All the best forward!
Elaina

hello Mary, I think th tone of this is rather more opimistic than your other book, which I had a look at before. I do like Lizzy and her style of speech. This is a very pleasant read and I intend to read it all (the other one defeated me, sorry.) It's an innocent story and it made me smile.
Minor glitch: chapters 1 and 2 are the same; should be easy enough to edit and fix.
Because this is just plain 'nice' reading and although I enjoy a nice juicy crime novel, I shall give this a time on my shelf.
Regards,

This is a great story. I like the dialogue, you've done a good job of incorporating some interesting and unexpected bits of information (the wig is cool and creepy, love it). I especially like the time period, very intriguing.

Careful with her language, there aren't many ten-year-old's who use phrases like "blustery breezes" and words like "catapulted". I hate to dumb down such wonderful writing, but it's something you might want to consider. I will definitely keep reading, and this will go on my shelf.

What a delightful story, Mary. Lizzie is a sweetheart, buffeted around in the world of grown-ups. I agree with Stephanie; your pitch doesn't reflect the clever humour you balance the sadness with. The run of names like Ted, Ned and Fred; Macy, Stacie and Lacy made me smile, as did Lizzie's vision of Grandma pulling a porcelain pot from under a pew!

I like the way you have the grandparents in both of Lizzie's very different worlds as kind, well-meaning people who want the best for her. It would be easy to slip into stereotypes.

A lovely tale, and on my shelf.

The story is wonderful. You've truly captured the emotions of a little girl caught between two very different worlds. I suggest changing you pitch to reflect the humor of your writing and to capture the attention better. This will be shelved when I have room.