The Il-khan's Wife

Hello Kenneth,
Thanks for your comments. I'm glad you liked the story. Andrew

Andrew,
What I find so compelling about "The Il-khan's Wife" is the majesty of your prose. And fittingly so considering that your cast of characters consists of the movers and shakers of their day beholden to the legacy of their forebear, the conqueror Genghis Khan. Giovanni bears up well as a hero with a noble heart that makes him spare the life of his mortal enemy at their final confrontation. I say, two thumbs up to this grand epic, old-fashioned perhaps but endearingly so like the other great tales of our time.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

This is briliant read and deserves to go far. added to WL

Very enjoyable reading... the writing is detailed yet easy to absorb, and the subject matter held my interest well.

Andrew

This has a compelling opening with the writing being professional and polished. It does have a good pace and there is nothing I can cite you on so I am SHELVING this literary effort.

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

I can`t imagine the research you put into this. What an extrodinary amount of work.
The writing is adept and though the story is not one I would normally read if seen in a book store I know plenty of people who would.
Backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Hello Margaret,
Much appreciate your favorable comments. The fact that you don't demand I read your work, especially as I have no idea as yet what you write, makes me curious to do so! So many people put up conditions, which I find annoying.
Best wishes,
Andrew

I confess that I am not very up on this period in history but the setting and your story tellling skill had me absorbed. I like prologues and this one was fascinating. I 'felt' the cold, 'saw' what they were wearing and was party to the conversation. It was so very visual and beautifully written. I have read to chpt.3 and willingly took in the information because I found this not only enjoyable but something to learn from as well. This is something that needs to be read at leisure, it's clearly been well researched and it is fine literary fiction. Happy to shelve. Margaret.

Hello Margaret,
Much appreciate your favorable comments. The fact that you don't demand I read your work, especially as I have no idea as yet what you write, makes me curious to do so! So many people put up conditions, which I find annoying.
Best wishes,
Andrew

I confess that I am not very up on this period in history but the setting and your story tellling skill had me absorbed. I like prologues and this one was fascinating. I 'felt' the cold, 'saw' what they were wearing and was party to the conversation. It was so very visual and beautifully written. I have read to chpt.3 and willingly took in the information because I found this not only enjoyable but something to learn from as well. This is something that needs to be read at leisure, it's clearly been well researched and it is fine literary fiction. Happy to shelve. Margaret.

I confess that I am not very up on this period in history but the setting and your story tellling skill had me absorbed. I like prologues and this one was fascinating. I 'felt' the cold, 'saw' what they were wearing and was party to the conversation. It was so very visual and beautifully written. I have read to chpt.3 and willingly took in the information because I found this not only enjoyable but something to learn from as well. This is something that needs to be read at leisure, it's clearly been well researched and it is fine literary fiction. Happy to shelve. Margaret.

Many thanks for your appraisal of the first few chapters of my book. I shall take some of your comments on board.
Andrew

Have read through chapter four this afternoon. Chapter one was just a taster, a whetting of the appetite, but delicious. Then, I found chapter two hard-going, I admit. A great deal of information, geneology and geography all in one chapter, that one. But the chapter with Arghun and the Venetian was fascinating, with a strong sense of place, of time and wow, such beautifully written characters. Truly, that's a gem of a chapter. Four with the child Hassan and then with his mother was equally hypnotic.

The whole period is one which I something of, but not a great deal...and for that reason I would love to see this made slightly more accessible...perhaps a bit more description in between to pace the grip of these life or death politics...because they didn't play for lesser stakes. More of a mix of action and talk, rather than straight talk, straight attempts to out manoeuvre each other. That's I think why chapter three was so successful...it was so well paced and well-balanced between action, dialogue and description...because I want to be wholly gripped by this, I want to be wholly in the room (okay, not smelling the fermented whey...but) and allowed to wholly engage with at least one of the characters and see the world through his eyes, you know.

Because this is great stuff and given how mobbed the exhibition of the Ottoman Turks at the Royal Academy was a few years ago, I reckon you could be onto a winner here--but again because it's so foreign to all they know of history, you may have to weave the important information more discreetly into the text, so that there's no sense of overwhelming the reader with names and religions he can't remember, and also use a bit more description so that he can see it and get of a feel for it, you know. But there's so much beautiful work here--and I admire your research greatly. Can't have been easy to unearth a lot of this.

All the best--MM (Of Honest Fame)

Andrew
Excellent writing. What a great period in which to write historical fiction. The bloodbath of the Crusades makes a great setting and the conflict between Christianity and Islam portends plenty of action. Love the opening with Nasr and Katir setting the stage. The writing is immaculate, couldn't find any nit picks with my editor's eye. Just one question: Should the reference to astronomer be astrologer instead, as the sentence implies?
This is fun read. Good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

This is an intriguing version of the old conspiracy story which goes along the lines of 'the king is dead, long live the king!' but you add the twist of the muslim/christian tensions. You've obviously researched this very thoroughly, and I felt both informed and entertained by the amount of information you relayed at the beginning, which I think is necessary to establish context. It's well-written, and I enjoyed it a lot, so it has my backing. Best wishes, Tony.

THE IL-KHAN'S WIFE (Lockhart)
It happens that I'm reading a biography of Edward 1 of England, in which it is briefly mentioned he had hoped to co-operate with Arghun Il-Khan in a crusade against the Arabs occupying Jerusalem, only he died at an inconvenient time.
This book is unusual for Authonomy in its subject matter which will not in itself attract a great deal of attention, so the author if he wishes it to be noticed will have to work hard at promoting it, which he does not yet seem to have done.
And that is unfortunate, for it is well written (the author clearly is an experienced writer) and the subject matter is interesting. It was backed by me some time ago.
My only question is in regard to the prologue, in itself an arguable feature, "Can this be termed information dump?" An author alway wishes to put the reader in the picture, but is this information not too dense and therefore off-putting to the casual reader?
I think it will find a publisher, but probably not through Authonomy, nor HC(UK).
mch

This is an exciting premise and so far I am enjoying what I read! You paint great descriptions of Persia and the thought that the envoy may be killed and his whole family sold into prostitution or conscripted is a chilling one that immediately grabs your interest adn empathy. In chapter two we learn more of the political issues underlying Arghun's rule and the unfortunate marriage of poor Nadia.
My only nitpick is that the constant use of one another's names.. Kartir and Nizam... grates after a while. If there are only two of them, it probably wouldn't be necessary to keep saying the other's name. It might also be helpful to explain what a Nizari is in the opening chapter?
Small nitpicks really - I am shelving because I am enjoying it and that is the chief point of fiction!

M&J

p.s (Do have a browse of Graemor if your watchlist isn't too long - always open to feedback and another pair of eyes to spot any errors or weaknesses!)

You set the scene well- the cold...and the immediate thoughts about how the envoy will be received. A polite audience, death by sword or the slower Mongol way! Intrigue right there, and it draws the reader on. The ensuing dialogue is brilliant- the reader instantly understands there are nuances to this tale, dangerous nuances.

I have shelved, and glad I did.
All the best
Elaina

It's after midnight and I'm off to bed, but I had to back this before trundling off. Hope to catch up with more reading tomorrow, and a better comment.

Till then
Elaina

Your comments much appreciated, Michael. Thanks too for 'nit-picking'. It's quite a while since I wrote this story. I'm probably too wrapped up in the background history to notice such 'nits'. None of my original readers noticed or commented on this particular one, although there WERE others!
Andrew

Arresting blurb and subject matter... Am adding this to my watchlist for an indepth read later this week. Perhaps you'd care to read swap?

Joanna
'Graemor'

You have a great opening. Your story is well written, well paced and as a reader one that I find very inviting. Good luck C.P