Book Jacket

 

rank 5464
word count 14008
date submitted 19.06.2009
date updated 09.07.2009
genres: Literary Fiction, Thriller
classification: adult
incomplete

Two Arms The One Length

Colin Cather

A thrilling tale of a wayward brother's revenge on his 'cuckoo' twin.

When you set out to destroy someone, you destroy yourself.

 

Eddy, broke and barely staying one step ahead of his pursuers as he crosses Europe, learns of Darryl, his brother, and his boastful success back in London. Switching direction he flees Spain to return to England and wreak revenge on this, his ‘cuckoo’ twin.

Darryl and Eddy were born on the same day, in troubled Belfast, but it was the adopted Darryl who enjoyed the attention, in whom all their parents’ emotions were invested – with Eddy pushed from the nest and left to fend for himself. Only his grandfather made the effort to steer Eddy’s course, from their orienteering on Belfast’s wet hills, towards Sandhurst and an Army Officer’s career.

Now, with that career ruined, and following the botched attempt at private-security work, Eddy is on the run and at last his frustrations find their target.

He must destroy Darryl – his wealth, his business, his marriage – and throw him from the nest.

Eddy is a turbulent force-of-nature – relying on his charisma and instincts as he inserts himself into Darryl’s world of smoke-and-mirrors management consultancy. Will Eddy learn enough, and in time, of his own natural strengths to avoid bringing disaster on those around him, and himself?

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

brothers, revenge

on 3 watchlists

36 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Dania wrote 1042 days ago

I knew I’d like this when I saw Freddie’s comments.

Amazing opening and your style is truly unique. It’s like watching a Guy Ritchie movie but faster and smarter.

Not sure what else to add other than “shelved”. Wish you the best of luck with it.

Dania (The It! Refugee)

msm0202 wrote 1042 days ago

Colin,

Whew, this unfolds at a such a frenetic pace, that it's impossible to put down. Eddy may be the best developed character on authonomy, and your writing is splendid. I'm not a fan of an author touting their own work with the word "thrilling" in a pitch. But in your case, I make a major exception. This is beyond thrilling. It is literary fiction at its finest—and a thriller as well. A rare combination, indeed.
Backed.
Mark

Freddie Omm wrote 1045 days ago

this is a great start – good characterisation of eddy and his calculated crocodile tears

in fact excellent characterisation all round – the japanese and american tourists & eddy’s observation of them, the grandfather and the younger eddy, all beautifully drawn

you handle dialogue and accents very well – each distinctive and amongst the best examples i’ve seen on this site. this, with your ability to conjure up a vivid image of place, brings a glorious sense of atmosphere to your settings

then the orienteering – eddy’s suspicions about the ‘bearded guy’, the attack on hapless lookalike and then eddy’s murder of the bearded man

the constant movement in time i think works particularly well for this story – bringing a sense, for the reader, of slight confusion, disjointed, which complements eddy’s duplicitous character and the very slow (deliberately and necessarily so) reveal of what and why

this is lovely, lovely stuff and i’m backing it and wish you all the best with it.

freddie
("Honour")

Maria Luisa Lang wrote 1049 days ago

Dear Colin, This is a very original and highly compelling story with truly fascinating characters. The writing is perfect for it: fast, vivid, darkly humorous—impossible to resist, like Eddy himself. I know he’s something of a killing machine as well as a thief and who knows what else, but his victims all seem to deserve his intervention in their lives: besides the action is extremely exciting.

I knew nothing about orienteering, hadn’t even heard of it, but by watching Eddy I’m learning: I can see how he and his grandfather bonded over it, and I’m sure his skill is going to come in handy when he duels with Darryl, who you make wonderfully unlikable.

I admire the symbolism of the compass Eddy’s grandfather gave him: stolen by Darryl as a trophy, it’s now a sort of sculpture resembling “a barnacled piece of bling”—that Darryl has made a hideous decoration out of something Eddy used and relied on shows not only his continuing animosity but the basic difference between them.

I also admire the business with the elaborate code: men retaining a part of their childhood by playing at spies, but the ingenuity and the complexity reveal a depth of feeling: Ivan and Eddy seem to have been brought closer together by Eddy’s hatred of Darryl.

I can’t wait to see what he does to his “twin” and to finally meet Drazen Begic (great name for a villain). This is a wonderful read: a most impressive display of skill, imagination, and exuberance. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

JohnRL1029 wrote 1030 days ago

You have a unique style: fast-paced narration. The story moves along at a frantic pace: bam bam bam! Love the character of Eddy. WL.

richie_d wrote 1035 days ago

Hello Colin,

Sorry for taking so long to get to this.

My impression here is of a fantastic writer who needs to do a little bit more editing. The first chapter is a sprawling cacophony of death, running and baloons--but in my opinion it lacks focus. I think the backstory of the grandfather and the orienteering could be saved for just a little later on, instead of putting it here.

Of course, I think reading this on the screen is not doing you any favours, and it may work well on the printed page, but I was confused by what was going on and not in a good way. I accept that dropping the reader into a strange situation is a great hook, but I have to want to read on to find out what is going on, and to be honest that wasn't the case here. There was just too much stuff bubbling up. It could be just a case of shortening the chapters or, as I say, looking a little more deeply into the structure of the opening and deciding what needs to go in and what could wait for later on.

All this negative criticism aside, I actually think you're an incredibly talented writer. (Just cut back a little on the adjectives!) So, I'm going to shelf this on the potential.

Please let me know if there's any doubts you have about anything I've said or if you'd like me to clarify any points.

Best wishes,

Richard

Dania wrote 1042 days ago

I knew I’d like this when I saw Freddie’s comments.

Amazing opening and your style is truly unique. It’s like watching a Guy Ritchie movie but faster and smarter.

Not sure what else to add other than “shelved”. Wish you the best of luck with it.

Dania (The It! Refugee)

msm0202 wrote 1042 days ago

Colin,

Whew, this unfolds at a such a frenetic pace, that it's impossible to put down. Eddy may be the best developed character on authonomy, and your writing is splendid. I'm not a fan of an author touting their own work with the word "thrilling" in a pitch. But in your case, I make a major exception. This is beyond thrilling. It is literary fiction at its finest—and a thriller as well. A rare combination, indeed.
Backed.
Mark

Freddie Omm wrote 1045 days ago

this is a great start – good characterisation of eddy and his calculated crocodile tears

in fact excellent characterisation all round – the japanese and american tourists & eddy’s observation of them, the grandfather and the younger eddy, all beautifully drawn

you handle dialogue and accents very well – each distinctive and amongst the best examples i’ve seen on this site. this, with your ability to conjure up a vivid image of place, brings a glorious sense of atmosphere to your settings

then the orienteering – eddy’s suspicions about the ‘bearded guy’, the attack on hapless lookalike and then eddy’s murder of the bearded man

the constant movement in time i think works particularly well for this story – bringing a sense, for the reader, of slight confusion, disjointed, which complements eddy’s duplicitous character and the very slow (deliberately and necessarily so) reveal of what and why

this is lovely, lovely stuff and i’m backing it and wish you all the best with it.

freddie
("Honour")

Maria Luisa Lang wrote 1049 days ago

Dear Colin, This is a very original and highly compelling story with truly fascinating characters. The writing is perfect for it: fast, vivid, darkly humorous—impossible to resist, like Eddy himself. I know he’s something of a killing machine as well as a thief and who knows what else, but his victims all seem to deserve his intervention in their lives: besides the action is extremely exciting.

I knew nothing about orienteering, hadn’t even heard of it, but by watching Eddy I’m learning: I can see how he and his grandfather bonded over it, and I’m sure his skill is going to come in handy when he duels with Darryl, who you make wonderfully unlikable.

I admire the symbolism of the compass Eddy’s grandfather gave him: stolen by Darryl as a trophy, it’s now a sort of sculpture resembling “a barnacled piece of bling”—that Darryl has made a hideous decoration out of something Eddy used and relied on shows not only his continuing animosity but the basic difference between them.

I also admire the business with the elaborate code: men retaining a part of their childhood by playing at spies, but the ingenuity and the complexity reveal a depth of feeling: Ivan and Eddy seem to have been brought closer together by Eddy’s hatred of Darryl.

I can’t wait to see what he does to his “twin” and to finally meet Drazen Begic (great name for a villain). This is a wonderful read: a most impressive display of skill, imagination, and exuberance. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

soutexmex wrote 1050 days ago

I apologize for the delay in commenting you. You have a gift for words, my friend. You'll get to the editor's desk for sure! I am shelving you for the brilliant writing you offer us readers. This is your vision in print, and the writing is spot on.

If you have not read/commented, possibly back my book yet, please take a moment out and do that soon. Cheers!
JC

Krista Darrach wrote 1050 days ago

Two arms The one length,
Colin,
This is really great... and I wasn't sure what to expect. But you had me right from the start and kept my attention (and I'm tired, so that's sometimes hard to do). Just wish I could read more...need sleep.
Excellent and shelved.
~Krista Darrach
-Riley's Gift

Cellardoor wrote 1050 days ago

God Colin, this is great!

I just want to sit and read the whole thing! You ask the reader so many questions, very well-written and excellently paced. Really gritty fiction, it promises to be a great thriller.

I can't wait to read on! Might read more going to bed, getting to love your characters already :)

Mel x Backed with pleasure :-)

burntsugar wrote 1051 days ago

Thanks for the big boost, everyone needs a morale heave-ho now and again
best wishes
C

Hello Colin,

I wonder what words to use to describe a story that has the pass mark for being both thriller and a literary fiction. Excellent job. Gripping from the start and has all the right elements of a compelling read----smooth flow of the prose, fascinating characters, effective dialogue, vivid descriptions, intriguing plot and a breath-taking pace. This is a story with the potentials to make it to the top.

Rightly shelved.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

JANVIER wrote 1051 days ago

Hello Colin,

I wonder what words to use to describe a story that has the pass mark for being both a thriller and a literary fiction. Excellent job. Gripping from the start and has all the right elements of a compelling read----smooth flow of the prose, fascinating characters, effective dialogue, vivid descriptions, intriguing plot and a breath-taking pace. This is a story with the potentials to make it to the top.

Rightly shelved.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

Alecia Stone wrote 1051 days ago

Hi Colin,

A great opening. Right into the action.

I loved the interaction between Eddy and his grandpa. It felt natural and the dialogue was believable. The jumping from place to place threw me a little in the first chap but I soon got into the flow of the story.

I have to say your characters are well drawn out and they feel real. Loved the vivid descriptions, I could picture everything that was happening. There a lot of energy which I found very entertaining.
Very well written.

Shelved!

Shinzy :)

Fretjumper wrote 1052 days ago

Christ, I'm away to lie down...this is fantastic, backed! Michael

Lord Dunno wrote 1052 days ago

Superior stuff!

aomtg wrote 1053 days ago

Jack Rasay bellow nailed allot of things and I agree with him. I will also add the following, Now this is just my opinion and may not hold true as most people on here did not catch these things. Maybe I am seeing things they don't.

Chapter 1
Besides the ‘Bothe fleeting and chasing’, the opening sentence is too long and becomes confusing.
Air-conditioned-air
Mixed with hardcore could be mixed with concrete

There are others but you may already know that. Good luck with this enticing piece.
Benoit, INSTANT MESSENGER

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1053 days ago

This is excellent and more importantly, very different. To write a standard theme from a different angle is very difficult but it is exactly what's needed to stand out. Well done and on my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

burntsugar wrote 1058 days ago

thanks Peter - I was trying to do something in particular, here - but it seems it might not be working. Your comments are incredibly useful - specific and you offer clear guidance...just as I hoped,
I'll look at it in the way you suggest...the real 'opening' might be elsewhere, and the POV tip is a good point
many thanks
C

Colin,

How Eddy becomes David Evans is important, yet you tell us in a detatched way in a few paragraphs. There is a whole chapter here. The reader want to be with him, feeling his emotions and fear.

I found this disjointed and I didn't know where I was or why.

Your pitch is very good, so the confusion I felt came as a surprise. I think you've fallen into the trap of 'where to start?' I always find this difficult and try different things till I get it right.

You've got Eddy and Dave's Point of View. Stick to just Eddy's as he's your main character.

You've got a very powerful story here with all the ingredients of a good read, conflict and revenge, if you can simpfly things and write from Eddie's pov. Something I do when I'm stuck is to write something in the first person. This helps to turn me into the character and write their story with more life and feeling. Then I just turn it into the third person again. As this is Eddy's story you might consider writing it in the first person anyway.

Hope this helps.

Peter

Peter Carlyle wrote 1058 days ago

Colin,

How Eddy becomes David Evans is important, yet you tell us in a detatched way in a few paragraphs. There is a whole chapter here. The reader want to be with him, feeling his emotions and fear.

I found this disjointed and I didn't know where I was or why.

Your pitch is very good, so the confusion I felt came as a surprise. I think you've fallen into the trap of 'where to start?' I always find this difficult and try different things till I get it right.

You've got Eddy and Dave's Point of View. Stick to just Eddy's as he's your main character.

You've got a very powerful story here with all the ingredients of a good read, conflict and revenge, if you can simpfly things and write from Eddie's pov. Something I do when I'm stuck is to write something in the first person. This helps to turn me into the character and write their story with more life and feeling. Then I just turn it into the third person again. As this is Eddy's story you might consider writing it in the first person anyway.

Hope this helps.

Peter

burntsugar wrote 1059 days ago

Hi Colin, This is fantastic stuff. I'm all for the cerebral and your first paragraph had me grinning from ear to ear. Others may want it all spelled out from the get-go but I say let the author lay it on and see where he may lead us. Your prose is witty and urgent and It fits for this tale. I love a good enigma and you have it here in spades. I'm confident you'll pull it off. Shelved and I'm reading on. Suzanna (Ashton's Treasure)



wow, suzanna, sometimes you need a good boost and you've given me one, thanks...I'll bear it in mind, what you've said about the differences between readers (why, when I read 'proper' books, am I content to think that I know lots of readers for whom this just wouldn't be their thing...but when your own efforts are read like this, suddenly you want / expect everyone to love it?)

I'm going to get straight to yours now, too
thanks
C

burntsugar wrote 1060 days ago

hi Colin
I found the narrative quite hard to follow at the beginning. Not quite sure why - a lot of unexpected jumping around. But by the time I reached Chapter 2 I got into it. I expected something naff - the whole 'cukoo twin' thing has been done to death. But this is good! I really enjoyed it. - a pleasant surprise indeed.
On my shelf
Sheila



thanks for the read, Sheila - I'll certainly bear the comments in mind, I don't want the reader to work too hard in Chapter 1, maybe there's a better way. best wishes with RTF
C

Sheilab wrote 1060 days ago

hi Colin
I found the narrative quite hard to follow at the beginning. Not quite sure why - a lot of unexpected jumping around. But by the time I reached Chapter 2 I got into it. I expected something naff - the whole 'cukoo twin' thing has been done to death. But this is good! I really enjoyed it. - a pleasant surprise indeed.
On my shelf
Sheila

Heidi Mannan wrote 1060 days ago

Colin,

I'm enjoying this so far. I think you have a great premise and easy to read writing style. Giving it a go on my shelf.

Heidi

Ayrich wrote 1061 days ago

Brothers fighting. always a good story. Shelved.

Paolito wrote 1061 days ago

This is extremely well-written--the words and the characterizations in particular. I would suggest that you re-structure since editors and agents have such a thing against flashbacks (I learned this the hard way: rejection, but at least the rejection was specific)...they leak energy from your main story. It's not as difficult as you might think.

Tidbits of humour...I wish I could do that.

Shelved enthusiastically.

Cheers,
Sheryl (In All The Wrong Places)

Fred Le Grand wrote 1062 days ago

This contains very good, strong writing skills but could contain more in the descriptions of the scenes.
Fast-paced action, clever use of words and good sense of the characters.
Dialogue is good though like any book where there is only the MC and his thoughts, the amount of it is limited.
I think the scenes could be set rather better to put the reader into the frame a bit more, you know, the show tell thing.
Shelved because the pace and action is good.
Best,
Fred

CallumC wrote 1063 days ago

BS,
having only read the two chapters available I am backing this book because I have to read more, and I want others to read it too. It gripping, it can be confusing, it is very well written, though some sentences do transcend the accepted norm, and I believe should be trimmed somewhat. But overall it is hard to put down, and therefore deserves a place on my shelf.

CallumC.

mn73 wrote 1064 days ago

A gritty, explosive read posing many questions that urge the reader on. The opener is a stellar start and I love the fact that Eddy cries for his victim until he feels he has cried enough and then gets on with things. A powerful, original scene. The writing is taut and punchy and this deserves its 'literary fiction' tag. Powerful stuff. Shelved.

Elaina wrote 1065 days ago

Not something I would automatically pick up to read, but on this site I find myself delving all genres! This is surprisingly good. Gritty, edge of the seat stuff, the kind of read one can review as a movie in one's head.

All the best. Shelved.
Elaina

Justis Call wrote 1065 days ago

Hello Colin,

This looks like a great story, I am intrigued. It's on my WL and I will be reading it shortly.

Best to you,
Justis Call
Prestidigitations

maitreyi wrote 1065 days ago

i really enjoyed this. i think the 'cuckoo' twin is worthy of shelving all on its own. could be the title? i also loved the suitcase full of balloons and the rather subversive tone. just my cup of tea. it's a really unusual opening and i hope it does well.
xx
maitreyi
BLOGSPOT

CallumC wrote 1066 days ago

Hi Colin,

I don’t know if you realize it, but paragraph two is all one sentence, and to be honest I really struggled with it. I still don’t now who Garcia is, and how they ended up in an air-conditioned Avis rent a car. As I read on I became even more confused over who was who, and where they were. As somebody said below, it is only structure, and not that hard to fix. Shorten the sentences, and broaden the overview, and you will have a dam good read here. There is a fine balance between telling the reader too much, and not enough, I think you err on the latter.
Sorry my friend, but I would be more than happy to have another look if you care to make it a little easier for me.

CallumC.

robf wrote 1067 days ago

Hi Colin, I'm enjoying this, though i have to say some of your sentences are a little too long for my liking. I have read th para that starts 'The real David Evans' three times now and have still struggled to work out what's going on. I believe true writing should communicate to everyone, even people like me who are slow to pick up on the meaning! So maybe look over some of the lines to work out if an unfamiliar reader would know what you are getting at. That said this is good enough to back.

beegirl wrote 1068 days ago

Great plot and you clearly write very well. I think we need somedialogue to break up the first few paragraphs. But that said--very readable.

Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Yolanda Christian wrote 1068 days ago

Hi Colin or Burntsugar, you are now on my WL. Yolanda Eye of an artist

Jack Ramsay wrote 1068 days ago

Colin,

As I read your pitch, I couldn’t help asking myself ‘why?’ – why does Eddy want revenge on Darryl? What’s he done to Eddy – apart from the ‘boastful successes’ and taking his parents’ attentions? And why is Eddy running, and from whom? See, in pitting two forces together that will clash until they can’t clash any longer, there must surely be more motivation – neither can back away from the conflict. Now, maybe there is enough, but it doesn’t sound like that from this pitch. Not a huge rewrite; just a couple of words to explain Eddy’s motives, because I’m not sure belated jealousy does it.

And there, opening sentences, why Eddy’s fleeing.

The writing’s entertaining, no doubt about that (robbed of their ability to summon a poodle from a skinny balloon – a beat, a sassy tone...good stuff!)

Be careful of creating confusion regarding time and place. You’ve done it a couple of times, imho – ‘Seventeen years later, it’s 2006...’ and then you launch into another flashback to the day Eddy’s leaving for Sandhurst. It jumped back and forward a bit earlier, too – I kept up, but I’m sure you might lose some others. That’s more a structural thing, than anything else.

Nice murder scene :) And the connector from ch1 to ch2 is well conceived and executed. Ch 2 works well – shows us a lot about Darryl that we need to know to understand not just him, but Eddy as well. Ivan the Cerebral. :) Good stuff.

Couple of wee things – in ch1 there’s a close quotes missing on Eddy’s mum’s dialogue; in ch2 you’ve got iDarryl; and the different text colour doesn’t work for me. L. Irish v Bristol is the scoreline/headline, but the article talks about Bath...I know Ivan’s tinkering, but has he changed Bristol for Bath?

Overall, highly backable – it’s a great character study. And because of the quality here, it’s even more important to make that pitch just a wee bit more of a draw.

Best of luck,

--Jack Ramsay (Brogan's Crossing)

Nathanael Wiseman wrote 1071 days ago

Surprisingly good, I'm not a massive fan of the genre but the characters and plot drew me straight in.
Nice tone, and is really well paced. I want to read the rest immediately. I dare say it needs a tiny once-over by a script editor but it's a very good read! Please send me the rest. Seriously. I want to know what happens!

1