Ruined Echoes

I’ve added your book to my watchlist. Best of luck with it!

Very well written in a unique voice. Good pitch, but you need to start reading and commenting on others. You have an exciting plot line. Backed.

I hope you will give mine a read, and back it if you like it.
Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

Excellent work! When deciding if i want to back a book or not I typically only read the first chapter and analyze the quality of the writing and the level of interest I have in the story. After reading your first chapter I simply had to continure, very impressive, good luck in the future!

You've done a great thing in so short a space of time here PJ.
You've created an instant affinity between the reader and Bronwen - they care about her - want to find out more about her.
The mysterious happening as a little girl, the hint of a childhood in care - the young woman she is now - her strange and charming aloofnes.
The reader wants to find out all these things - discover Bronwen's secrets.
A very well crafted book, with so many promises ahead.
The only small point I could think of making, is the chapters. They feel two long to me. But that aside - a very charming story.

James.

P.J.

Ruined Echoes - Brownen has a traumatic history, and wants to start a new life. She is a stranger in Drewen. She is watched, not just by the living. Time rolls on with loaded tension, which would compell the reader to turn the pages. And I would have to read on if I wanted to discover what is in store for Brownen in that eerie village. Happy to back this engaging read.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Prologue - how could I not have gone on to read chapter two...with that last line? Good pull. I was not sure about the neighbour's dialogue however - something was not convincing with it.
Chapter 2 - I found the detail a bit too much of Bronwen's inner dialogue, although the taxi-driver's thoughts were a good interjection of objectivity and helped the reader see her more clearly than her own thoughts did. I skipped a lot in order to get to something that pulled me forward, but was then disappointed to be launched into another character, for whom I didn't feel ready.
That said, you have introduced two strong characters within the 2 chapters, although I found chapter 2 too long to sustain interest.

I have put you on my watchlist for the moment, and will come back to read more.
Very good luck.
Claudia Samouilhan - Fog in Channel.
PS I live on Anglesey and have also included Chester in my novel!

Imagery on the cover and inside the book is fantastic; the words unfolding create an eerie atmosphere. Compelling stuff!

Good luck with it!
Amy
Love Match

I like the picture you paint with your words, good luck. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Ruined Echoes.

[Thank you for returning my backing, T. ☼☼☼]

The opening chapter is very strong. First paragraph great. Grabs your attention from the start. Good dialogue and characterisation and a nice line to end on. I wasn’t expecting the smell though. I didn’t think the body began to stink until some time later than a day after death.

Chapter two and Bronwen is en route for her new home. Not specified, but obviously some time later and fleeing the demons following the harrowing opening. Some reference back... mahybe her pushing the demons to the back of her mind would help here. The long passage is wonderfully evocative and beautifully descriptive.

Then you introduce Adam. Nice twist—it’s his cottage. After all the foregoing about Bronwen not wanting to meet the landlord. Are you setting up some good plot? I hope so!

You end the chapter nicely. Your prose is wonderful. The story so far is engaging, although the pace a tad on the slow side for my taste. Nevertheless you have covered quite some ground and set this up magnificently.

I am backing this. If you can find the time to take a look at Bokassa’s Last Apostle, I’d be really grateful. Thanks.

Hi PJ
You depict Bronwen well as a character and it's easy to associate with her as she goes on her journey. You need to be careful how you use the first person, but one whole I think you've managed it. A reallly enthralling story.
Backerd
DP Walker
Five Dares

Hi Paula. backed on the pitch and prologue alone. Tense and gripping. Need to read more and will put time aside later.

Brian - The Brotherhood

The beginning has a very driving, gripping edge, makes the reader gird for what is to come. Your herione is a shrinking violet to Lara Croft and yet she seems to have a will of iron that see's her through each step into the unknown she takes. Very well written, edgy. Your command of the language is good and your writing skills are smooth. I was able to read for enjoyment with out distractions.
Best wishes for a speedy trip to success.
Dawn De Remer (Golden Moon)

Hi P. J., The first chapter really made me want to read on from the second since Bronwen has evidently recovered from the violence. I like her nervous courage – she has a reason to be wary. The idea that she can do what she likes and her POV flitting from one idea to the next has its realistic contrast with Adam and his owner attitude. I like the crafting of it as it feels realistic – that she would want to start again somewhere else and that life starts rising up again with its challenges. The details are good too, picturesque. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

The descriptive passages in Ruined Echoes are so well drawn that quite easily I felt myself inside the world of Bronwen.. abused as a child, her hopes to leave the past behind reside with her decision to move to a quite village.. after all, what could possibly go wrong in a quite village.. the tone is sinister, compelling, and the characters are very 'alive'.. Backed and best wishes

Gripping pitch and first chapter. You build up the tension until they open the door and find Bronwen alive. Great stuff. Ch 2 - Bronwen now, we get more into her character, all the time aware of her traumatic past. The writing is polished and tight. (one spacing glitch at the end of a paragraph in the middle) Then we get Adam - will be interesting to see how the two situations link up. Good writing! Backed.

I really like the concept for this book and felt involved from the start. I really enjoyed what i read. You establish the character really quickly with the 'spider sense' whcuh is great!

Happy to back, best of luck x

This is an incredibly tense start, and you go on to outline an excellent story. You engage the reader right from the start, and I found myself drawn in as the tension increased. Fabulous.

Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules are made to be broken." - Relic

Ruined Echoes
P.J.Roscoe

You create much tension in this story which holds the reader's interest. This is an excellent plot accompanied by a compelling literary style which does your storyline, and your themes, justice. I hope to come back and read your complete upload, but in the daytime! I am sure this will quickly rise up the ranks. All the best in finding a publisher.
Zan

This is a well written,powerfully engaging story. The prologue gives a perfect taste of things to come, drawing the reader in. Good luck Derwenna, you deserveit! mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

Everyone wishes at some time they could just pick up and move to a new place. This is a good story because, when Bronwen does that, unlike what she thinks will happen, her world isn't improved. It becomes downright scary. She's a good character because she's vulnerable and wants to see what happened to the child. I enjoyed this a lot. I'm adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

PJ, good job on that prologue and first chapter. This is a smooth read. I have a couple nits, though.

In the prologue, second sentence the hyphen between "eleven" and "years" seems unnecessary.

Another issue is the omission of commas when addressing people in dialogue. For instance, "Good evening (need comma here) Scarlet...

I hope this helps.

Happy to back the potential of your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Ruined Echoes

Mmm just read the prologue, not sure I want to read more, this is creepy!!
Got there. You have a great character build in 1 and your visual descriptions are stunning however I found myself missing the sound, there was no or very little descriptive sound in the narrative, I (and I stress I) think this would add to the scene setting.
By three another great character (Well two with Judith). You have a gift of writing unique characters this is really an exceptional book, which I will have to get back to. – Good Luck

RUINED ECHOES:

PJ Roscoe,

A brilliant prologue. You certainly know how to create tension, and how to keep the reader waiting. Like when he knocks loudly on the front door, and then you tantalise the reader while you tell us how he notices the peeled paint and the dirty windows . . . wonderful suspense writing. They say you should always keep the best till the end, and that applies not only to the end of the book, or the end of the chapters, but to the individual paragraphs and even the sentences. And you do this like a pro.

Your characterisation is excellent and at the end of Chapter One I felt certain Bronwen was a real person.

Backed, with admiration, and my best wishes for its success.

Sheila (Pinpoint - psychological suspense thriller)

RUINED ECHOES:

PJ Roscoe,

A brilliant prologue. You certainly know how to create tension, and how to keep the reader waiting. Like when he knocks loudly on the front door, and then you tantalise the reader while you tell us how he notices the peeled paint and the dirty windows . . . wonderful suspense writing. They say you should always keep the best till the end, and that applies not only to the end of the book, or the end of the chapters, but to the individual paragraphs and even the sentences. And you do this like a pro.

Your characterisation is excellent and at the end of Chapter One I felt certain Bronwen was a real person.

Backed, with admiration, and my best wishes for its success.

Sheila (Pinpoint - psychological suspense thriller)

The first chapter sneaks up on me, kind of slowly, like eating around the top edge of an ice cream cone and then getting into the bulk of it afterward. Nice even pace, excellent descriptions. The MC is well defined; I feel like I know her. Shelved and backed.

Catherine (The Golden Thread)

I had been intrigued by the pitch and this was why I picked up this book. I am so glad I did! This is my kind of book, reminiscent of Daphne du Maurier, though it is silly to make comparisons, as this is quite different in many ways, as it seems propelled by true life experiences...It is well written, and immediately engaging and deliciously ominous. I am only sorry I can't decide not to go to work, and stay home and read this instead! Happy to put it on my shelf!

I had been intrigued by the pitch and this was why I picked up this book. I am so glad I did! This is my kind of book, reminiscent of Daphne du Maurier, though it is silly to make comparisons, as this is quite different in many ways, as it seems propelled by true life experiences...I am only sorry I can't decide not to go to work, and stay home and read this instead! Happy to put it on my shelf!

I can't imagine this NOT doing well here. You are a very talented writer and you know how to frame a story.

Great read!

Lockjaw

Smooth, Coherent, and an opening so packed with tension I could hear the heavy breaths in the narration.
You disorientated the reader well, putting them in a position where they are forced to read on to make sense of what is happening. Crits I would say look at where you can trim the excess words, think of plot above prose and see what a different it makes.
Backed
David
Bailey of the Saints

Hi P.J.
I love the name Bronwen. I don't think I've ever heard of it before, but I really like it. I thought the opening was actually pretty gross, but I mean that it a positive way! What I mean is that I got some strong images from your prose, which I like. I felt like I was right there in the story. I'm only through chapter 3, but I'm totally enjoying it. I want to know more about Bronwen. Happily shelved.

This is a unique and good concept that intrigues from reading the pitch. I love historical fiction, so it's nice to get a mix in this. The title is also rememberable, I think it will do well. Backed!

Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice

Very well written with a strong opening. The atmosphere is creepy and intriguing. The only thing I can point out is chapter 2 paragraph 11: "His hesitation though, gave the boys in the group( )to give their own versions". Are the words "the chance" or "the opportunity" meant to be inserted here? Anyways, happy to have it on the shelf for a while based on its obvious quality.
John O'Brien - Other Face

A very nice blend of past and present, and written very well. Great hooks, fine storytelling. I could go on, but for the moments, this merits a backing. =)

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Dear PJ Roscoe,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. “A woman fights in past to live in the present” strikes me as a good tag line, and you may wish to let those words speak for themselves, alone as the short pitch. I felt the woman’s description of the night’s sounds through the wall both riveting and realistic. I find the child’s whimpering to be a terrific hook because it gives me hope and makes me wonder if the abuser might’ve been the one to die. I appreciate the description of emotions, such as the “nervous bubbles that made her stomach flip over” and “nerves at breaking point”. The protagonist is shy and introspective, and sympathetic. I like how she ponders the Romans who once walked the same ground. I like how you have her forget the road directions to indicate excitement. Also interesting how she hates being called “love”. She has a violent, internal reaction to any evidence of lust toward her. Being a survivor of abuse makes her hugely sympathetic, and you may wish to note this in your pitches. You “show” her as reclusive, by her thoughts of not wishing to see the landlord. You’re greatest strength lies in your ability to express the protagonist’s temperament and make her real through thoughts and emotions. As a personal preference, I’d suggest hopping into the driver’s head, as it loosens the connection the reader has with the protagonist.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your story even more exciting by trimming the words. You have power here. Keep that, and look with a critical eye on all that remains, asking yourself if it’s essential to the story. Since your story strikes me as particularly promising, I'd be happy to offer further suggestions for what to cut. As a small matter, you don’t need to mention the name of the fictional town in your pitch, or that it’s fictional.

I’m rooting for your protagonist. Bravo! Backed, and best wishes.

The character development of Bronwen is terrific, full of sardonic observation. The writing is clean and accomplished.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

This is well written. It looks like a really good book. I think you should choose a different font to make it larger. Before you go on with the story I would like to know is there a dead body in the house? Backed. Lisa

This is well written. It looks like a really good book. I think you should choose a different font to make it larger. Before you go on with the story I would like to know is there a dead body in the house? Backed. Lisa

This is well written. It looks like a really good book. I think you should choose a different font to make it larger. Before you go on with the story I would like to know is there a dead body in the house? Backed. Lisa

Wow what a compelling read!! You certainly hav equite the imagination too! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

Gripped already from reading the first chapter. Simply genius as the story begins to unfold - shelved and will watch your progress
andy
When Spirits Break Free

wow, the first chapter alone was gripping. Very well written and felt like the start of a good Law and Order episode!

I will keep an eye on you

Shannon Lee

Mythic Blood.

This is a fascinating premise. I enjoyed it. Backed.

You have an unusual and well written book here, and your pitch outlines enough of it to draw us in. The Prologue is extremely gripping, sending shivers up the spine as we wonder about the child Bronwen. Then the surprise ending tells us that whoever is dead, it isn't the child, and we are left guessing at what has happened. A girl called Bronwen sets off by train to her rented cottage in the country. A bundle of nerves, she makes the taxi driver wonder if she's just been released from somewhere, but she seems too nice for it to be jail. This, we can only guess must be the same Bronwen, perhaps after years in some institution, and with a change of name for her own protection. You have given us a moving and exciting start, and hooked us in to read more. Your writing is clear and fluent, and your descriptions skillful. Bronwen is a three dimensional figure, and Adam, when we meet him, gives promises of equal interest. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

This is excellent. Writing to be envied.

I can't offer much help here with this strong narrative and story.

Simply fab... and should do well.

Jo xx

Spoilt

Throw both pitches into the forums and have people help you out with it. I am SHELVING in advance. I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Just the kind of book I love. This is a great story that has a little of everything in it. I love the paranormal bits and you write well enough to set the dark tone. I love stories where the past comes to affect someone in the modern day. You write so well and I will recommend this if someone is looking for something original! And let me know if it ever gets published!

Reading more later!
Missy

So many elements, all interwoven wonderfully. Real, which makes it even more frightening. Backed. Lynn

I'm not keen on prologues, but this one is wonderful, and then the start of what I would describe as a seriously well written novel, full of excellent description and growing tension, Backed with pleasure.
BADD

Excellent work. I have been lured into your story effortlessly! It builds at the perfect pace and keeps hold of one's attention. I look forward to reading more :)

H Leigh Cornwell
(Blood Descent)

A captivating read. What the dickens are you trying to do to my eyesight though, maybe it would be better using a larger font, 12pt perhaps!!LOL

Found myself engrossed in the story as the writing flows wonderfully.

Great work.

Melxx
would love to hear your thoughts on Impeding Justice at no.47, it's a crime/thriller with a feisty female MC, thanks Melxx