Mature, educated, healing hands, can travel.

I happened across your story, and thought it sounded interesting, so I had time for one chapter and dug in. I enjoyed it and thought it was nicely and realistically done. I appreciate realism in stories, not the romantic smuck that I have come across so often. Don't get me wrong, I like romance in small doses, just generally prefer to read it how it is, because it can be both amusing and titilating. Your scenes weren't titilating, but were most definitely amusing. The pink toilet paper bit did have me grinning. Just one note where you say his figure was fuller than she remembered, I'd change it to physique. "Figure" is used for females, not males. Also, there were some commas missing in regards to the lines with dialogue. For example your line: To which I could reply "No. Of course not!" *There needs to be a comma after "reply."

But those couple of points I've stated above are pretty inginificant, because I'm just being pendantic here. Overall the first chapter flowed nicely, and was easy to read with humor dotted throughout to keep me smiling. Well done - Marita.

I came back to read more and use the new star rating. This is still a fresh read and very thought-provoking. Well done.

This is not the sort of novel that I read. It reminds me of confessional novels from the 1970s that parents read and children tried to get ahold of so that they could compare notes at school, something along the lines of "Looking for Mr. Goodbar."

I only read your first two chapters which are discreet. And your synopsis provides a psychological or alternative health study of a woman seeking empowerment or healing through sex. I'm not sure that I agree though that promiscuity is healthy in the age of AIDS and sexually-transmitted diseases. It might prove healing in the psychological sense, but only with a compassionate and caring partner, and not the predatorial type.

Anyway, I'm sure your novel will provoke plenty of conversations at office coolers and social networks.

Patricia

Hi Helen....wow....I think I paint with words with an extremely visual brush. Captivating story, you owned me by the first half page, wanted to read more. Though, honestly, not my genre (the romance yes, the other not... meaning, I like having sex more than reading about sex...feel the same way about sex in movies - yawn - I'm better behind the scenes or being on the set than I am watching the program, if that makes any sense. Doer than watcher, in a nut shell. THAT said - you express yourself well, your writing is unpretentious, sentences follow one after another logically, rationally. Like you inward thoughts. Women do think more than men, and are concerned with much more than we men do...we are - how would you say it on your shore? - we're a simple lot. An empty one, I think the Australian joke about men goes. But you're writing is terrific, real, and I do learn about the character who is a very real character, and not a pretend one. An obvious pretend one, that is.

Many blessings, and I hope you have a chance to read the LONDON script!

jim

Hi Helen, its me again, Jim. Will be reading your work this weekend. Thank you for adding me on FB!

blessings,
jim

Dear Helen, I love that you are so open about sex - why does it all have to be hush-hush & only the man's point of view? I hope your story will end with what to do about this. Your book is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. I love Steve Martin & his quote - he's probably the most finesse of them all. :)

Mature, educated, healing hands..

Impressive, but then it always was going to be with genres such as instructional chick-lit!
This is a highly entertaining book. This is the most fully read incomplete piece I’ve read up to the end in a long time (really, up to the trial run).
Thoroughly enjoyed, entertainingly told, masterfully written.

I wasn't sure what you meant by 'organised by a tabloid' whether just one of those cheap offers or if it was actually a group excursion or what. (organised if your English).

I think none descript should be nondescript.

Had been Joanna's comment...
shoul dbe
had been...
as it is a comtinuation of the thought. Otherwise it makes no sense.

I object to your prejudice against Radio 2, you ageist.

I didn't understand the Mull of Kintyre reference. Need to brush up on my geographical innuendos.

I liked your protaganist and the premise of a pragmatic woman putting pseudo-morals aside and becoming an escort is a clever one, and amusing. I found the odd hiccup in the writing but an enjoyable read. Backed.

This is a funny, funny book. I couldn't discover the name of your narrator - no one ever seems to call her by her name - but in the end, it didn't matter. She's a marvelous character: fresh and funny and always ready to express her opinion on things. Made me keep reading and reading. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I am what I read and I am enjoying the pace, the transitions the well crafted storyline. This is my kind of story.
A couple of things : word copious I question. Clive's description needs tightening. only Teddy was scarred for life.
'nondescript' I think . we exchanged not we'd and did the
I'll stop editing and just enjoy the ride.
Backed.
a zoomer

This is a total hoot, i think Joanna may have been my ex-flatmate in another life...dickhead...or Richard Cranium if they are the educated variety of Aussie male....always one of fave expressions...although i seem to have swapped it for 'wanker' of late.

I am still laughing at some of the clever one liners. The paragraph-length chapters at the end were interestingly different. I haven't seen anyone do that before.
This is a bright breezy clever pick-me-up and put-him-down kind of read...right up my alley...er street er...well yeah Love the book.
Backed with pleasure. er...yeah!
Suzannah Burke
Dudes Down Under

Nearly spluttered my coffee all over the keyboard! This was a real tonic! Such deliciously vicious prose and so well observed! Uses all the sense too. Would buy this for the mother-in-law. Jim Darrcy The Firelord's Crown

I read Ch1 and I fell in love with that 1st person POV - such immediacy! SHELVING this puppy like I did your other. You can write - get this up the charts, sista!

JC
The Obergemau Key

You’ve pitched this up on an endearing tone of tender irony. We feel we’re being confided to by a close friend. I like how there’s something almost otherworldly about your narrator, something ageless too. I like it that she isn't ostentatiously young, of her time. She registers all the bizarre nuance of modern life with a clarity that makes us see the absurdity, comic value in the everyday. The comedy’s a treat. Always delivered with a kind of understated knowing look. Lots of nice descriptive touches too – “brave blossom” “fragrant spectacle of colour”. The more of this I read, the more I enjoyed it. That’s always the best sign of all, I think.

Typo in the third paragraph – you need to delete the “was” before “thankfully only he could hear”.

Yes your style iswell developed recognizable and funny - love your sense of humour! Well up to standard and a fun enjoyable read. Like the heroines of both your books (one was you I think??) Ithink you could write this kind of novel with relative ease and give your readers a long line of enjoyable experiences... dont stop yet will you? gooood luck Marion

Hi Helen, I just ran out of time, hence the no comment. I laughed a few times in the 1st chapter and found it all round fun and Ive always had a thing for mature women, especially if they're educated so the title was enough for me... I have a hectic life going on at the moment and can't even get online much but hope to catch up on more of your story soon, as well as others...

Hi Helen,

This is easy and enjoyable to read.

To which I could reply(,) “No…” I added a comma.

Loved the subtle humour. Nicely done. Like the ending to chap 2. It made me want to read on. Great characterisation and splendid dialogue. This is wholly entertaining.

Chap 3.

What was Andrew thinking! I would use a question mark instead of an exclamation mark.

Very well written.

Shelved!

Shinzy :)

Great, light-hearted reading, Helen. If the other chapters are as enjoyable as the first, this should do well. Backed.

Marko (Brief Encounters)

You can't beat (Good) British humour. It's dry, totally not overdone. The reason most people (for me) can't pull off comedy, is because they try too hard.
Call me fussy, but it wouldn't mix with the champagne and Oysters - brilliant!
Sue (A Boy Called George)

Ayrich, come on!! Blimey!! Mat...

Hi Helen,
Im loving this - as an extra I know the area you talk about in CH1 very well - but it is only an extra, because Im enjoying immensely. There are a couple of typos ( commas in and out of speech) but you'll pick these up no problemo in another pass. The humour is great and very well observed - that feeling of almost submissive defeat is brilliantly depicted!
Shelved and Ill be back for more. Good luck, MAT

I got the line, it is so true.

In fact I got most of this and sadly, it is so true.

backing because I am embarrassed not to

Now that's a novel reason to back my book. Embarrassed not to, eh? Um, just how much do you get? Keep wondering if the real 'Clive' is suddenly going to turn up on this site!
Thanks for the leg up HA! whoever you are.
Helen x

There was only one line which stuck with me. 'Oh my, A grown man and he still can't buy, only condoms.' I dont think i get what this means. Is it that he has no taste or that she expected more toys and such?
Other than that i really quite like the first person and writing style. So shelved.

Hi Thanks for backing. What I meant was that he went to buy condoms but somehow felt less self concsious buying other things as well ( this actually happened, btw) . Sure it's an English thing. In France they don't give a f..k. they have condom machines on street corners and the President ( Sarkozy) recently spoke openly about having a sex therapist to help him keep 'on top' ( my joke) of his younger wife.
So, buying toothbrush etc was just typical Brit behaviour.
Good luck with your book and thanks again
Helen ( gotta get back to the day job before the wrinklies notice I'm missing) x

There was only one line which stuck with me. 'Oh my, A grown man and he still can't buy, only condoms.' I dont think i get what this means. Is it that he has no taste or that she expected more toys and such?
Other than that i really quite like the first person and writing style. So shelved.

Oh dear, this scenario had me cringing and wincing at the same time (difficult to do, believe me). Very entertaining and astute, and happy to give it a turn on our shelf

This is truly hilarious and not at all what I expected from the pitch...was expecting something slightly pornographic, I think.

Aside from the humour, you're a really fine writer. No nits about the writing at all, but your ms. could do with a bit of proofreading (can't they all?)

If I can stop laughing long enough to shelve you, I will...definitely.

And if I can impose upon you to take a look at my chapter 2, the conversation after the newspaper article...when I want to be funny, I can't. I need some help there and you're just the person to help me make it even a little funnier (only if you have time.)

Cheers,
Sheryl (In All The Wrong Places)

I only needed to read this to know that this author had done it again:

“Oh my, a grown man in the 21st century and he still can’t buy, only condoms. I had remained fully dressed, after all unwrapping the present often turns out to be the best bit. I was perched on the edge of the bed and fortunately still laughing at the contents of the goody bag when he appeared in the en-suite doorway full frontal naked with the huge white towelling robe unfastened and flapping at his sides emitting wafts of generously applied after shave. He seemed to have a fuller figure than I imagined. His clothes evidently had been keeping him in some semblance of order, in a cross- your- heart- bra kind of way.
But this was the least of his problems.
Is there anything more unappealing than a semi erect penis with a smidgen of pink loo paper stuck on the end. Had he cut it shaving?”

Another riotous hoot of a book.

The only advice I would give this author is that an omnibus bumper collection of her books is calling. Backed.

I really like Mature, Educated, Healing Hands Can Travel. It’s funny, opinionated, and just a sheer delight to read. You have a unique voice. I was hooked before I finished the first chapter. Your writing style is very similar to Jill Connor Browne, author of the Sweet Potato Queens books.

I have a few nits. Bear in mind I’m a stickler for punctuation.

Chapter 1

The third paragraph is a little awkward and contains some passive writing. I’d suggest [Tapping the steering wheel with his neat manicured nails, his head bobbed in time to some tune that thankfully only he could hear.]

I’d been asked if I’d mind sharing a room? Share! With someone who might, smell, smoke, snore! SEEMS LIKE THE PUNCTUATION MARKS ARE BACKWARDS.

How about [I’d been asked if I’d mind sharing a room. Share? With someone who might, smell, smoke, snore?]

Chapter 2

“Yeah right. That’ll help me sleep, dickhead.!” NIX THE EXCLAMATION POINT
“Yeah. Great, catch you later. Sweet dreams.!” SAME THING
There are places in every chapter with commas that aren’t required and places where commas are needed. Most of your exclamation points can be replaced with periods.

All of these technical things easily can be corrected with a little more editing. As far as the pitch, the story, and the writing are concerned, finding a place on my shelf for this was an easy decision. Good luck.

Rodney
Saturdays At Margie’s Beauty Salon

You are a dangerous, dangerous woman Helen. Comic observance is the role of the male, perfected because if we can make you lot laugh you may not notice all the things we can't do! If the subversion in this book leaks out to the female population you will have wrecked years of male strategy. I love this book and I would be very nervous if I had to spend time with you, nothing escapes you does it? Only one nit-pick, none-descript should be one word (Nondescript). Excellent book which I would buy after scanning it in the store. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Helen,

Nice short pitch, I hope this sets the tone for what's to come. And the long pitch is brilliant.

Chapter one opens in a way that is immediately linked to that long pitch.

There's same first person chatty voice as in All Expenses Paid, but a little naughtier this time. I love lines like "Nice is nice anytime." Word play is always fun. And there's plenty here.

Ooh, spotted a typo: space before the full stop after Ranger Rover, in chapter one.

The comment re the radio and finding Radio Two, is biting. I love it!

The sex is funny in a way that is keeping with the narrative voice. Then the chapter ends on just the right note.

Chapter two introduces the Aussie house mate and all I will say here, is she seems fair dinkum.

Another typo, you have a full stop before the exclamation mark following "Sweet dreams". One or the other! I'd go with the full-stop.

You nail Andrew too, with the simple observation that he'd order a latte.

Another nit-pick. You have Andrew say:

"So, okay." he pauses to slurp an overfull spoon of soup, "so okay tell me what do you need now?"

I think the punctuation needs tweaking, and also that you trim words. I'd write it like this:

"So, okay." He paused to slurp an overfull spoon of soup, "Tell me what you need now?"

Minor changes (and promise not to re-write anything else).

Then there's a paragraph beginning "We did the only thing possible . . ." where the formatting has gone all wonky.

The detail in chapter three is perfect. I can almost picture the shop.

Then you bring Andrew back into the picture, a somewhat inept concerned conspirator.

You end chapter three on an intriguing note and I'm going to have to read on to find out (I'm guessing he has a big secret) but I'm stopping now to shelve this.

Now, this is fiction but a lot of the scenarios did happen to various friends and some to me and no I won't say which ones. If All Expenses Paid made you laugh, then I reckon this should have you in the same state. I do hope so. The first 3 chapters are ok, I think; after that we're back to 'blogland' whilst I work on updating them.
Helen Ducal