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out of the closet - writing sex scenes

Patty

first registered 19.09.08

last online 1 day ago

Sex scenes. Some writers love 'em, some hate 'em.

Why?
What do you feel?
What makes a successful sex scene?
What makes it cheesy?

Post your scenes here, and we'll discuss them.


Posted: 19/05/2009 12:45:35

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Patty

first registered 19.09.08

last online 1 day ago

everyone's gone shy...

Posted: 19/05/2009 13:00:14

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Sangay Glass

first registered 08.04.09

last online 16 hours ago

I hate to do this because I'm heading out for work, but here goes. Keep in mind that some words like"c*ck are words the characters would use. I'm not just trying to be nasty or shocking.

>>>>

He leaned on her lips to gently bring her down. The way she softened beneath him let him know that she wanted him, but simple desire wasn’t what he’d been looking for all these years.

When Jay's warm whisper reached her ear, an intense blush spread wildly to her core. Her heart and breathing paused silent for just a moment before the blaze was set free.

“Love me,” he had whispered.

He didn’t need a response. He knew he had reached a profound place in Catherine’s soul because he felt his request travel fluidly to her heart where it gained momentum and intensified. In that tiny moment she had embraced his most sincere appeal to be loved both physically and spiritually. That was all he ever really wanted. Even if she never spoke the words, I love you, he knew that she would always have a place for him in her heart, and for that he would love her for all eternity.

He wandered down to the satin tie that held the front of her sundress while she toyed with his hair and watched him coil the lose end of the ribbon around his forefinger until the bow finally pulled free. Then he unlaced each zigzagged row and kissed the freshly exposed skin as he went along.

Opening her top slightly to rest his head on her chest, he listened as her heart pulsed rapidly from the left breast. Closing his eyes, he followed the rhythm, moving aside the supple cotton material of her dress with his lips. Then he laid his mouth over her nipple to moisten it, circle it, and love it generously with his lips.

His breath felt cool in comparison to the warm moisture he left around her nipple, so when he pulled back and exhaled she squeezed her legs to welcome the sensation that swam down between them. She took two handfuls of his hair, and coaxed him to the other breast.

“Um,” he hummed along the journey. He was hungry for more. When he opened his mouth, his immense desire drizzled over her tight right nipple before he devoured it between his lips.

He restlessly worked his erection firmly against Catherine’s leg. Then when the feeling was more than he could stand, he slid down and rolled his lips over her cotton clad belly then buried his face in it to catch himself before he came.

Catherine's arms stretched high above her head as she wagged and lifted her thrill slippery pelvis. She thought about a craving rarely satisfied in her past life. It began gnawing at her, so much so that she could almost feel its bite. To suppress it, she brought her hands back down and pressed her fingertips firmly over her lips to contain her naughtiest thoughts.

Jay heard them anyway. He pushed off from her hips and knelt between her thighs. Then slowly and deliberately he gathered up the skirt of the dress. He smiled and shook his head when he saw that she didn’t have on the new panties he gave her.
Playfully he dove under the skirt while she giggled and protested. At first, his soft spiked hair tickled. She tried to push him away but he kept moving forward until her craving returned.

Her eyes and knees rolled up while her legs fell apart to allow Jay’s passage further between them. Then her hips swung up to bring her most intimate prize to his mouth. They were both sodden with want as they courted and circled each other, swaying in unison, looking for that place between just right and the point of no return.

His teasing fingers joined in, but they teased too much. She shoved her pelvis forward to catch them and squeeze them tight. The ease of his fingers’ wet slide brought her dangerously close to the edge, but she didn’t want it to end there.
She pushed off with her feet and sat up.

“Come here, you,” she said with a smirk.

Jay obediently rose to her call and converged with her lips. She could smell and taste her own excitement, and she accepted his offering as they silently passed secrets through an open and passionate kiss.

But her naughties were still in control. She leaned away from Jay then reached out and tenderly shoved him back on the bed. She climbed over him and explored the contours of his bare belly, following the curves around and down to his belt buckle where like in her fantasy, she traced the letters ‘Blue Jeans’ with her fingers.

She moved her attention to the seam of his fly, leaning in to kiss it, but stopping just shy of its heat while she unfastened the buckle.

Jay groaned, lifting his hips, raising her with them while she slid down his pants.

“Shhh…” her words were left quiet as she hushed Jay and dropped down to meet him in her mouth.

“Oh my god!” he laughed, almost crying as he watched his cock disappear between her lips. God, he wanted to grab her head and work it, but he resisted the fuCK crazy’s suggestion.

‘Leave her alone. Just leave her alone,’ he told it. ‘She’s doing fine.’

His breath shuddered as he covered his eyes with tightened fists to make it last, but the gentleness and willingness of Catherine’s mouth as she took him in and out then skated her tongue around the head of his coCK could not assure his endurance.

He sat up and bounced Catherine along his lap. Once again, he gathered the skirt of her dress then lifted her by the hips. He wanted her to lead from there. Every woman had their own dance to make the magic happen and he wanted to see what hers looked like.

Their eyes came together as she slid down and met his lap. For a minute she stayed still, contemplating the ways he filled her so completely then she licked her top lip and began to rock.

Jay pushed back Catherine’s hair and helped her dress fall down around her waist when he untied the last two ribbons that held it at the shoulders. Next, she did exactly as he had hoped.

She put her arms around him and moved close to let her breasts brush against his chest while she danced to a carefully measured tempo that her body was wonderfully creating for that moment. She was…

“Beautiful,” he whispered.


Posted: 19/05/2009 13:29:46
Last Edit: 20/05/2009 01:17:33 by Sangay Glass

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cutley

first registered 12.05.08

last online 4 hours ago

OK, here's mine.

"I remember thinking that it was all a bit like a romantic novel. Here I was, on a ship, dining with a goddess. Of course, after all I was only eighteen, I kept imagining what we might do together, in bed, if you know what I mean. But I also knew, somehow, that our relationship could be much more than that. And, most importantly, I knew that such desires had to be suppressed. Our night together on that boat had to be absolutely chaste."

Is it too explicit?

Charles


Posted: 19/05/2009 13:37:30

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Patty

first registered 19.09.08

last online 1 day ago

Sangay - I have no real problems with the scene itself. If the genre/style requires explicit sex, then go for it. I don't mind the words much either. Charatcers do speak like this. On the other hand, I think your sentences are a bit flabby, with too many blah filler words that - ahem - diminish the punch.

Charles - you kidding? That's not a sex scene. Open-mouthed


Posted: 19/05/2009 13:43:06

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mrsbawheed

first registered 26.10.08

last online 99 days ago

Here's mine I have posted it in the other forum

“SSH my darling, come to bed I want to show you how much I love you. I want you to know that whatever they say in the newspapers to me you were brilliant, lets see what tomorrow brings.”

She let him lead her upstairs. He certainly did make everything seem better. The way his mouth found her nipples, licking and biting, bringing her to climax. His tongue and mouth tasting the juices that flowed from her, she taking his cock in her mouth sucking and licking until it was hard. Then when neither could take any more he entered her gently at first and then progressively harder and harder. Small moans erupting from her at the point of climax a small scream escaped her, oh he was good her husband. He kissed her again and again to make sure that she knew how much she was loved.


Posted: 19/05/2009 13:47:25

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mrsbawheed

first registered 26.10.08

last online 99 days ago

And my gay scene is this one


“Come to bed and let me take all those worries away.” They did not have the hot passion of their youth, they had the easy way of lovemaking that comes with time. Each satisfying the other in the way that they knew how, they were entangled together the next morning.


Posted: 19/05/2009 13:48:16

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Lexi

first registered 03.05.08

last online 1 hour ago

OK, here's mine.

"I remember thinking that it was all a bit like a romantic novel. Here I was, on a ship, dining with a goddess. Of course, after all I was only eighteen, I kept imagining what we might do together, in bed, if you know what I mean. But I also knew, somehow, that our relationship could be much more than that. And, most importantly, I knew that such desires had to be suppressed. Our night together on that boat had to be absolutely chaste."

Is it too explicit?

Charles close quotes

Well, I like Charles's sex scene.

And it made me curious to read on and discover why only absolute chastity was on the evening's agenda...

Posted: 19/05/2009 13:54:40

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Patty

first registered 19.09.08

last online 1 day ago

Well, I like Charles's sex scene.

And it made me curious to read on and discover why only absolute chastity was on the evening's agenda... close quotes

That is true, but technically, it wasn't a sex scene. It was a non-sex scene Open-mouthed

Anyway, would it be too suggestive to mention at this point in time that I'm going to bed, and I'll come back to this thread tomorrow.

Suprised Suprised

Posted: 19/05/2009 14:03:05

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Lexi

first registered 03.05.08

last online 1 hour ago

That is true, but technically, it wasn't a sex scene. It was a non-sex scene Open-mouthed

Anyway, would it be too suggestive to mention at this point in time that I'm going to bed, and I'll come back to this thread tomorrow.

Suprised Suprised close quotes

I'm saying nothing...

Posted: 19/05/2009 14:04:43

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