Also an Ursula Leguin fan.
I'm not sure if women bring anything distinctive. I'd like to think they do, but I'm not sure what it is. Perhaps it's simply - as a rule - a better idea of what's going on in the heads of the women in the story.
I hear what you're saying about checking lipstick in the middle of a crisis, but my girl, I'm afraid spends a huge chunk of the book worrying about what she looks like. (I spend a lot of time thinking about identity, and appearance is all wrapped up in identity). What I really dislike is the 'She gazed across the room with her sapphire-blue eyes and flicked her long, blond hair over her shoulder' style of description. Especially when it's designed to tell you how stunningly, amazingly good looking the character is!
Lindsay
A Priest's Tale 
I just think that, historically, women are survivors. I'm not real good at soap boxing. I tend to take a more of--there's more truth in fiction--stance. The women in my books are survivors and the male authors that I tend to read portray women in that light as well. Without losing any of their feminity. Dean Koontz's Lightning is one of my favorites. My male protagonists respect women and treat them as equals. So I kind of get to play both sides of the fence.