Go read dis 'ere book it is about a boozer, right? An' this bloke wot runs it he a real funny geezer he named after a rare mineral or somink... diamond, I think, and anyway, it's really cleverly written and it's got words in it. An' more punctuation than I've got. Coz he gave me free drinks to say all dis, yoo shee?
Click the link: http://www.authonomy.com/books/35451/tiger-hugs/
(I can't make the link say Tiger Hugs 
) 
They worked their nuts off for what mum took a cleaning job I threw it in her face