This was labeled as a children's book? Well, it's not. It's not even much of a YA because the mc is 18+, right? The very formal writing does not fit either category. Very jarring coming into what was labeled a children's book. The prose is good, if a bit flowery. But the pace is awful. Long infod... view book

Opening with the weather/description of the setting is never a good idea if you want to get published. I open literary fiction expecting clean, beautiful prose and this wasn't. The pitch gives nothing interesting to expect. In the bookstore I wouldn't even have opened it after reading th... view book

You clearly know your subject matter... but we don't. You throw three characters at us in the first two sentences, complete with titles, one of which you don't call the same thing twice. That's a lot to digest and instead of getting into the story, I'm reading the first paragraph twice before I can ... view book

Well this is going on my shelf. view book

This is good work; you write with skill and talent. I don't have nitpicks. I will say that the prologue didn't work for me. There were gems in it, like the first sentence. But as a whole it felt melodramatic and contrived to me. Still, the writing is great and the first chapter was gripping... view book