Hi Patrick Have at last got round to returning reads! Was interested in yours as I have written scripts myself. I like the title & the setting - don't think a racecourse has been done before. Should be a rich mine of quirky characters. However, the first thing I 'd say is that you need to format y... view book

Hi Rachel Was only going to read a little of your mss, and ended up reading all you have posted ! You drew me in with Bea's misery, the mystery of the box, and your very easy writing style. I loved the different characters, and how Clarissa turned out to be a good egg! Have shelved your book bec... view book

Hi Ruth Just a few comments, as I have read up to ch 4. The first chapter really sets the scene, and even though this girl says she is going to be a murderer, we warm to her from the start -she's engaging & funny. We want to know what's happened, why she's going to kill someone. I like the langua... view book

Hi Simon - Had a quick look at your revisions (I too, was burning after-midnight oil...) Chapter 3 - Oh, Yes! Much better, I feel - much more immediate, and we're right there, in his hospital bed with him! Can I make one suggestion (not AGAIN! I can hear you saying....) but this might make it fl... view book

Hi Simon I think I read some of this before, but you have revised & this is much tighter now. A good title and a very interesting premise - your MC being unable to distinguish between dreams & reality is a really good hook. The first two chapters flowed very well, although perhaps some little hi... view book