Hello ceejezoid, I am returning your read. Here are my notes: Ch1/Prologue: Is it Chapter 1or a prologue? I am confused from the outset. Tense shift here: "had given him a cup of water. He's kept it down..." I think it is anyway, not very good at this, is this one as well, then? "...th... view book

Hello Tom, Returning your read. I looked at Chapters 36 and 38, as you advised. I enjoyed what I read. I'd say 38 was my favorite - those first, sticky emissions of love/lust, but 36 prefaced it well. I liked that I was able to drop into the book at random chapters and not have to worry about... view book

Hello Fontaine, First of all, I'd like to commend you on your admirably short chapters. I don't know if I'm the only person who does this, but when I approach a first chapter on here I always first tab down to see how long it goes on for. Sometimes the length can make me despondent and I fear t... view book

Hello Sexual Gibbons, I was supposed to be doing return reads but the two books I looked at were both driving me mental for completely different reasons. I fast-tracked yours for some relief from that. I began by making notes, which I will now share with you: RE: The pitch. Doesn't it stri... view book

(Based on Authonomy chapters 1-3, or 1-6 in your dog year chapters: bit confusing, that) Hello Audrey, I am returning your read. I should warn you that when critiquing I am often accompanied by The Warlock of Syntax. But he probably won't say anything; he's very shy. And don't worry - he do... view book