Here I am for the read swap! Sorry I took so long. I can tell you have a glorious idea developing here, but there are a few execution problems that you need to address which will make this even better: Avoid short sentences one right after the other, like in your opening. It tends to make the read... view book

Here I am for the read swap! You've got good writing and a good setting, but there are a few things that you need to consider: In the prologue, you don't establish any sort of problem except for the slight disagreement between the Forest Lords and Cairn. In order to really seize our attention, you... view book

Here I am for the read swap! Wonderful beginning. You hooked my attention from the get-go and kept it the whole way. Your prose is excellent, and your characters are real and human. Backed. Keep up the great work. I look forward to hearing from you about my book! M.C. Holman Dragon-Children:... view book

I'm afraid you simply lost me when you started the whole part about Genesis. I appreciate the fact that you appear to think that's how the world all started, but a large group of people will be turned off by that part. It makes it appear that the entire goal of the instructions you're about to give ... view book

Here I am for the read swap! You have an interesting idea here - not many people attempt a novel in this era - but there's a few things getting in your way. I would strongly recommend making this a bit more cinematic. Imagine it as a movie, describe what you see, and then get more inside the main... view book