Hi Lynn, Thank you for your comments. Dad actually calls himself callous, so that is accurate. I was trying to convey in the last sentence of the first paragraph that because Ken was abandoned as a toddler nothing really touches him, and then what follows in the chapter is an example of that b... view book

Thanks Moodernino, I'm pretty sure I do have to work on the structure. It's hard to know what to reveal when. In the first chapter, it did actually happen that my mom told my dad she wanted a divorce after thirty years of marriage and then fifteen minutes later he asked whether he could date o... view book

Hi JC, I'm actually not new to the site, and my dad isn't on the site at all. I just completed a draft of this most recent project and so have posted it up for feedback. It's a project I'm close to, so it's hard to objectively rate. Any input you have regarding the pitch or text would be grea... view book

Well written, engaging plot, complex characters. This is great! My commenting style is to make notes of my impression as I read and share those. Because I read so far in this, I’ve got an abundant amount of notes. Overall, to sum up the below: Novel does a great job of setting up an emerging... view book

I read through chapter one. To me, the writing style is stilted. It might just be a matter of personal taste. The most stilted and unreadable book I’ve ever had to read is “The Sound and the Fury” by Faulkner, so “Miranda” is in good company :) I hope the below comments are helpful. My style ... view book