This is well written and contains enough detail to give it an air of authenticity. Good luck with it. view book

I liked this when you read it out to the Alchemy Writers - I like it even better when I read it myself! You seem to start the first chapter with a lot of "past tense" stuff - I've been criticised for that before - it's a bit distancing. How about starting with the bit where she's lying on....o... view book

What no crit? Even though I backed it - and promoted it on the forum (under another ID) view book

Brilliant! If I was to pick one nit I would mention the repetition of "just" in the section where the plane resumes its fall from the sky. I can't remember the exact phrasing but you could perhaps replace the "just as the plane..." with something like "Right then the plane..." or perhaps a phrase... view book

Ah, I have read this before, I'm sure of it. Thought i backed it too. Maybe I dreamt it! view book