You avoid the simple line and make good use of the descriptive: "Feeling the oxygen drain from the room." In this case it describes her condition and onset of panic in just six words. I have personal experience of erythrophobia. It is quite debilitating. No matter what you say, how profound it might... view book

Hi Anthony Both our books traverse the desert, and both involve conflict. Although our styles are different your exposition helps me put context into my own work. Would love to compare notes. I've read your first 3 chapters. My only comment at this stage, and one that is contrary to an earlier comm... view book

Dear Lexi Two things I've noticed about the books that make it to the top of the list is how many are economic with words - in a good way. In other words, no fluff. The other is plentiful and realistic use of dialogue. Catch a Falling star has both. I don't think there's anything I can add. Good ... view book

Dora "Baby elephants die if they don't have enough physical contact." I'd make this your opening line. Because the route to suicide and the thoughts of doing it is such a powerful and turbulent emotional ride, have you thought of writing the first chapter as first-person? There's a reasonable am... view book

Ed This is going on my bookshelf. I laughed at many of the jokes - Hurricane Ian. You quickly develop the character of father and son. I'd suggest develop the father character a little more since references to him crop up frequently. I like the quirkiness - coffee in the shower, for example and cre... view book