Nice character work here. Read the first chapter, and enjoying it so far. The dialog reads well, but I would have liked a bit more scene-setting. Personal taste. Well done. Backed. David Wisehart Devil's Lair view book

This is pretty funny. The first chapter amused me. You set the scene well, and your characters are well-drawn. The writing style is very loose and conversational, but I think many of your sentences could be tightened, which would probably help the comedy and the pace. Enjoying this so far. Back... view book

This is well written. I like the lightning bolt powers. That's cool. I think you can get more impact from the revelation of the lightning power by adding more sensory details. Your visual descriptions are clear, but what about the other senses. Sound, feeling, smell? Adding sensory detail woul... view book

I really like this set-up. You've got a powerful story here, and one people can relate to. However, you sometimes continue your sentences past the point of maximum impact. Try to always put the most important part of the sentence at the end. That way, you land with greater force. The period (... view book

Cold, sharp prose style. Menacingly intelligent villain. The opening prison scene is great. Terrific tension. Grimes is a wonderful bit part. By the time Marcus has his freedom, we know he's capable of terrible things, and he will be relentless in fulfilling his dark designs. I love a smart, m... view book