I read the prologue, I found it wordy and too long. I read the first chapters but couldn't get interested even though the dialogue was fairly good. The story is well-written apart from a few errors, an oxymoron for instance: "A howling breeze." Your sentence structure needs working on tho... view book

You need to work on your sentence structure and punctuation, as your style is jumbled and not an easy-flowing read. I only read the first chapter, and if this is an indication of the rest of your story then you have a long way to go to finding a publisher. I couldn't gather much from it besides t... view book

Well, your style is nothing exceptional, as your story is something that can happen to a girl anywhere in the world, and I hope it developes into something exceptional, and considering how you write I don't think you will have much difficulty. My advice is: Delete all your adjectives and adverbs an... view book

Well, your style is nothing exceptional, as your story is something that can happen to a girl anywhere in the world, and I hope it developes into something exceptional, and considering how you write I don't think you will have much difficulty. My advice is: Delete all your adjectives and adverbs an... view book

"Shutdown" is a noun, "shut down" is the verb. One annoying thing, she tells us she is usually a kind person, how do we know that, we only have her word for it? Let us judge her by her actions and not by her self-opinion. So, shortness of breath and wide eyes depicts excitement!!? Stick... view book