Love the start of this, after the opening paragraph which I think holds it back. Otherwise, a brilliant first chapter, I think. (To me, the opening paragraph has a voice but it's dense with explanation, whereas in the next paragraph and right on down, it's all tight, vital and immediate.) I'll re... view book

Loved this opening, and I was very impressed by the comments and advice from Kaychristina. Spot on, it seemed to me. I don't think the pitches convey the fresh writing and pace. Some of the expressions are generic, wordy and sound dated (ie, lifts the curtain, dark secret, deepest secrets, befrie... view book

Interesting, atmospheric, nicely detailed and well-paced. I think some of the wry asides (ie, It didn't take a genius) at tense moments weaken the immediacy and sense of danger. view book

Sharp, tight, immediate, blackly humorous. I found this a fresh, fast, gripping read. view book

Love the tone, right from the start, but it's backstory and very dense. I think for a gripping read to match your storyline that promises suspense and immediacy, you'd do better to start straight in with an immediate scene. I think this would make a wonderful first line: As I rode the Camino de... view book