This is an interesting idea though I felt that the start was rather slow and tended to overplay things and that somehow I wasn’t involved with the story. You need to pay attention to typos – “when I was I child” in the first paragraph, there’s also a “laying” that should be a “lying” a “you’re” that... view book

This is good, the short chapters draw you on into the story and the action scenes are well judged. There are minor nitpicks, as far as I’m aware aircraft altitude is always measured in feet rather than metres, and I hate the use of span rather than spun – but that’s a personal peeve. Generall... view book

There’s a very strong voice here and the first few chapters put me in mind of To Kill a Mockingbird. As someone else mentioned I’d cut out some of the spoon feeding, like “Then something terrible happened” let the readers work it out for themselves. Some of the scene setting also seemed rather too... view book

This is a great opening, the style is assured and your handling of the Catherine character is impressive. I’m not generally a fan of the present tense but you’ve managed to carry it off here. I confess I found it a tad formal in parts, the “I am”, “it is” and “you will”s without using contraction... view book

I read the first few chapters and there’s a lovely smooth flow to the narrative here at the start. The potted biography rather spoils that and takes you out of the story, information about the character would be better fed in gradually rather than dumped all in one go. I felt that kind of derailed t... view book