Hi Su, It's some time since I first read this story and, on giving it another try, I was hoping to see some corrections based on what I said at the time. Unfortunately, you haven't made those corrections, the same errors are still there. This is a pity because the story itself has great pot... view book

Hi Alan, Due to an hectioc life, I've only had tiome to read the first two chapters, but this was enough to know that you have a good story here. Even though you are still setting the scene at this stage, you have done what you need to - kept the reader wanting too read on. The technical aspec... view book

Hi Richard, You have a good story here but it needs quite a bit of editting. There are quite a few comma errors and typos. This is especially noticable in the first sentence which is going to be the introduction to your reader and where you do not want to create a bad impression. 'Ok Class' shou... view book

Hi Shelby, I've only had to time to read a little of this story, but I like it so far. There are a few corrections needed but nothing major. One thing though, in the early part of the story you have the phrase 'a small girl sat on her knees'. You can sit on someone elses knees but your own. Yo... view book

Hi Adam, I've only had time to read the first chapter of this (which is rather long). You have the makings of a great story here but it does have some flaws. I did only spot one typo (you have a 'this' which should be 'thus') but there are more significant problems. First, you keep refering to... view book