I find your writing confusing. In places it is clumsy or mannered. In others, smooth as a baby's bum. And from time to time you find a turn of phrase that soars. GIven a good editor and greater consistency, you could be very good. I'm not sure about the way in which you break the fourth wall, bu... view book

I really disliked your opening scene. It's a cliche and unnecessary. Everything else I read rocked. Hard. I don't really have anything else to offer. I think this is very accomplished and authentic. Oh, one thing - you can get into trouble with lyrics. If you don't already know the score, you mig... view book

A page turner. And on the whole very well done. I read the lot. I just have a few inevitable criticisms. First, I found Chapter Five very heavy going. I note that you expect a lot from your readers in terms of interpretation and intuition, so maybe I am just a bad reader but I think you would do ... view book

Hey Nathan I meant to read three chapters but ended up reading five. Good stuff. Very good. I have a few criticisms that I hope will help when you next revise. Of course, you should ignore anything that doesn't resonate with you. First, I think at times your dialogue veers towards the unconvin... view book

Steve As promised, a return read. I read the first four chapter and I see TOURISTS as absolutely Hiassen or Leonard moved to the north, consistently well-written and easy to read . I would suggest though that you trim your opening chapter a little. Why? Because for me, this book really started mo... view book