Great concept so far. It made me interested starting from the pitch through to the end of the beginning chapter, though I wish I knew a little more about the characters up front before they leave the past (that is what they do at the end of the first chapter, right?). I would watch the 'he then' a... view book

Well, I won't hammer into you like the last person. You have a superb story shaping up here and your writing is excellent (other than a few miner erros like semicolons, etc...also there area few paragraphs that are missing periods at the end.) I would also like to hear some of the dialogue of the... view book

This is a cute idea and you have a cute way of writing, however it would nice to be 'shown' the quirks of the family instead of getting all the info all at once. There could be dialogue to show these things. Good idea, but can't back just yet. Hope you do well. Kathryn Roberts FATE view book

This was much cuter than I thought from the title and pitch. If I were you I would change those to reflect more of the feeling of the book. Something more catchy. My only critism would be to trim it up a bit. Just a little editing and this will be great. Also, there was a spot in the first... view book

Great story. There were only a few small puncuation errors in the very beginning but you have done a pretty good job. Some of the sentances (both spoken and not) were slightly cliche, but if you changed those out this will turn out to be a wonderful MS. Good work. I am backing this. Kathryn R... view book