This reminds me of early Anne Rice (ihope thats a compliment for you) For people who like this sort of thing its very well written. It is a little joltng, the length of the first 2 chapters in contrast to three and four and I couldnt really see a reason for that but its a minor thing and something a... view book

I cant understand the purpose of prologues at the best of times and here even less so. It is too long and meanders around not saying anything. When a prologue must be used (and editors hate them) It is generally to encapsulate some analogous backstory. I see where you are going with the road-life me... view book

This is a really interesting idea with some great analogies contained within. I remember the days of the dolls hospital so it would take parents back to the old days. I am not sure about your genre. You cant be in lit and YA and although it doesnt really matter on here, it does to the reader in the ... view book

This is well written and the character Marcus is hypnotic. if I had to make any rec I would say a tweak of structure would make it a lot more gripping (not that it isnt - this is just a reader's opinion). Editor's dont like prologues and I wonder why you used one here when the contents could come ou... view book

This is really funny mostly because the voice is strongly written. I would take out the prologue which doesnt jive with the rest of the style and is off-putting. I skipped to Ch 14 to see what happened but it was only June - dang! Wonder where you're going with this now? Hope you can take a peak ... view book