This is a very strong story, well written, with a firm sense of place and time. Nice job! view book

I read the first three chapters and then skipped to a couple others. You have a very good sense of action, and your dialogue is strong. I also like your story concept a lot. The biggest issue I have is with the number of run-ons throughout. You should do one edit, concentrating on nothing other t... view book

This is a wonderful new twist to the familiar Arthurian tales.I like the modern mice and the Indian family. Those are nice touches. I'd work a little on the opening, though, so it didn't feel so much like you're throwing a bunch of info at us before we've had a chance to start caring about the ch... view book

I like sports books, and don't think I've seen one about a swimmer before. This is cool. One thing I noticed: remember to start a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks in dialogue. It's confusing when you have two speakers in a single paragraph. Good luck with this. An original premise, ... view book

I love Arthurian stories (although I sometimes hate some of them because I love the others so much) and I'm intrigued by your premise. I've never seen anything quite like it. I've seen other stories where two Arthurs come together, sort of, as in Kevin Crossley-Holland's series, but I can't think of... view book