Hi Margaret, I can take a hint - well, more of a great big nudge actually... So, notes on Chapter 1: - i understand your 'background' notes and cast list, but i think you can do without it. regular novels do not and should not provide a list so why, just because yours is historical in nature, hav... view book

Hi Al, Returned read as promised First thing that grabbed me was the short sentences in the prologue. For me it was a bit too much - bang, bang, bang. Maybe that was what you were after, but it felt you were too eager to present info. I'm not a huge fan of prologues and as this one is so short, I... view book

Hi Tom & Justin, 'Nick of Time' has made its way to the top of my WL. Chapter 1 notes: - '... been in a funk all day' - what does funk mean? describe it - good description of the chronomech - '... he tried to imagine' - either he imagined or he didn't. like yoda says, there is no try - '... th... view book

Hi Shilo, Your book has eventually made its way to the top of my WL. Notes on Chapter 1: - The opening paragraph is the most important in the book, and you need to make a clean start. You've used the words 'track practice' twice in the first sentence. Repitition like this stands out like a sore t... view book

Hi Showgirl, Achilles 42 has eventually made its way to the top of my WL. Chapter 1 notes: - I'm not sure you need an exclamation mark so soon. It's gone quiet. So? Wouldn't the unexpected quiet be intriguing rather than suggesting that something dreadful is wrong? - '... stood half outside the ... view book