Hi Elizabeth, I loved the premise of this book and its quaint old fashioned feel didn't disappoint. The narrative flows well and the dialogue is believeable and very well written. Its give an immediacy to the script which I really liked. The only crib I have is with the title. I'm not sure its ex... view book

I love the premise of your story - good vs evil gets me every time - and your prologue sets the scene very well. The names are excellent - Hologuans, Dravist Bolens etc. Good clean, crisp writing. Well done. Marie C view book

Andrew, first off what a wonderful pitch. I have read quite a bit of YA on this site and this is definetly in the superior bracket. Young adults love the fact that outwardly life is ordinary but underneath there is a parralle universe. This is so beautifully written that I wished I was a young ad... view book

Bradley, this is great and one of the more original and interesting scripts that I have read on this site. The narrative just sails along and your writing is very creative. Well done. Marie C view book

This sets off at a cracking pace. The proglogue is a great tease and then you get into the characterisation straight away. Well written and great premise. Exellent combination. Marie C view book