I think this will be a very interesting story, but I think it would benefit from fewer adjectives and adverbs. Too much description can take away from the action. You might also consider using contractions in places where the speech isn't supposed to be formal; it reads easier. I had a hard time sw... view book

I think this will be a very entertaining story, though I did find some of the descriptions of the doctor a little confusing (particularly about her cardigan), and I had imagined a child doctor to be the more bubbly and friendly type. view book

Wonderful first chapter! I really like the characters and hope to read more of the story soon. Elizabeth P.S. Like Hunter, I adore "fancy words and long flowery sentences." I'm glad you included the letter. view book

Absolutely delightful! view book

Very sweet. I enjoyed the descriptions of the young fawn and its behavior. I also liked the way you told part of the story through his perspective, instead of leaving it all to the girl's conjecture. view book