first, congratulations on your star. i really like how this begins with the reader not knowing if amber is murdering someone or avenging someone, though the victim's name, devlin, is a nice clue. i also like that the so many details of the crime come afterwards, it highlights how even a planned ev... view book

i'm not sure what story you're telling. each chapter seems to start anew rather than build on the previous one. i think you need to pick a narrative thread and find how it weaves the highlights of each chapter into a cohesive picture. view book

i like the concept bits and pieces of life inexplicably vacuumed away in a sudden tempest. a dark twist on l. frank baum. i think there are a lot of people introduced quickly--mom, dad, adam, filip, tasha, dan--without much chance to fix their characters in the mind. perhaps just three or four at fi... view book

i think you should introduce the main points of the story earlier. christina sounds like a farmer rather than a singer, and while she may work on a farm, her singing is the stated heart of the story. so too, is the war. not just christina's interest in the past one but the looming one. i think the f... view book

anger, frustration, depression, ennui--i like it. there's a competing quality of ambivalence and tension about the characters that makes one feel an explosion is coming. good read. view book