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whiplash

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Last week's position: 4603

first registered 22.11.09

last online 388 days ago

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about me

For those who are looking for The NADIA Project: I have entered contract for publication and the work is being withdrawn from this site. Thank you to all who commented and helped me to polish it up. Dreams CAN come true.


MY FELLOW WRITERS: Tell you what, I'd love to do a read-swap. You first. I return comments with reads. Always. So it may take a week to get to yours, but I'll get there. And if I back you, it means I think you're ready for the editor's desk.

We're trying to go pro, here, folks. So if you're not on my shelf, it doesn't mean it's not good or doesn't show potential. It might just need some more polish.

Cyrus Keith was born and grew up in Indiana. After a stint in the USAF, he used his electronics training to begin his career as an aerospace burger-flipper for a fast-food joint. He has been a nursing assistant, dish washer, and janitor. For the past 22 years, he has been repairing and inspecting avionics systems and equipment for light single-engine aircraft up to heavy corporate jets.

Cyrus currently lives in Michigan with one wife and four children.

favourite books

Starship Troopers / Robert Heinlein
Honor Harrington Series / David Weber
The Bolos Series / Various authors
The Hitchhiker's Guide series / Douglas Adams
Black Beauty
The Walking Drum / Louis L'Amour
The Chronicles of Narnia / C.S. Lewis,
Piercing The Darkness / Frank Peretti
Beggars in Spain / Nancy Kress

my websites

http://www.critiquecircle.com/members.asp?lookup=1    

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

Self-publish with CreateSpace

my books

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A.R. Norris
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latest

ndayery wrote 196 days ago

(rafica_4ndaye@yahoo.com) My name is rafica i saw your profile toda....

ndaye wrote 230 days ago

(rafica_4ndaye@yahoo.com) My name is rafica i saw your profile toda....

Eponymous Rox wrote 294 days ago

Hullo there. I'm still a reader on Authonomy scouting for new authors....

Favourlove wrote 356 days ago

Complements of the day to you. I am Favour how are you, hope you a....

Robert.M.Kline wrote 440 days ago

Cyrus, If you have the opportunity to check out my novel, Aralen D....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 781 days ago

This is going to sound weird, OK? I'm going to back this, but you're maiing my eyes bleed with all those adverbs. Four in the first paragraph alone, more as you go, the preist silentlt reading skillfully... I had the same proclivity at one time, and only recently weeded them out as much as possible ... view book

I wrote 785 days ago

Very smooth. Nice, casual style. Backed. view book

I wrote 788 days ago

Prose is strong, but has some rough spots. Watch the passive-voice statements. They suck energy out of the phrasing. Chapter 2, the "orange, red,... sentence turns into a major moutful with thos two "as" links. You do that a lot too. Shorten your sentences. It adds energy and power. All the sam... view book

I wrote 790 days ago

Sharp, crisp writing, and definitely worth the backing. Normally, I yeall at people who start a work with dialogue, beause there's no contect or voice to which it attaches, but you've mamaged to pull it off here. view book

I wrote 790 days ago

Checked out the first chapter. Just saw a couple of items to note: 1.) "Two boys were approaching..." Change to "two boys approached." Get rid of that nassty little "was/were" energy-sucker. While you're at it, weed out as many of those as you can from the whole MS. 2.) "No more words were ech... view book

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