This is an interesting concept: a cross between Harry Potter and an Anne Rice novel. It's dark and a little scary, even for an adult. The idea of shadows, being alone, and strangers taking children off into the unknown are horror/gothic concepts, but the promise of fairies and a fantasy world are no... view book

Shaun-- I've read the first 2 chapters, and b/c that's not much to go on for more substantial comments, I'll give you my take and tips on style so far. Take whatever seems like good advice and toss the rest:) You use many similes, and while similes aren't bad, they can be too much, especially wh... view book

Just re-read your revision of chapter 1. The prose is tighter and you still have all the hilarity of your voice. I love some of your additions! My only suggestion: I don't sense it wrapping up at the end, though. There's nothing big, like a central conflict, pulling me on to the next chapter. This... view book

I haven't read the entire thing as I've promised several others reads today; but hopefully I'll get to come back to this b/c it's lovely. You have an interesting style—somewhere between journalistic and God-like. If your main character is supposed to be God-like, this really works (and is supported... view book

maybe it's because i've read many college entrance essays that focus on challenges like climbing trees, but I'm not feeling the first chapter. It seems like you're telling instead of showing, skipping over why he feels with statements about how he feels ("it was great!" or "it was getting harder" ki... view book