Great first chapter. I love football, and don't get to see it enough Stateside. :) Best of luck as you climb for the desk. Courtney PS - I totally jumped you to the head of the back because you like The Rum Diary. view book

Hello, I'm commenting as I read, so if things seem a little disjointed, don't be afraid to ask for clarification! Onward... In your first paragraph, I'm already squirming. I can't handle scorpions. Good dialogue and pacing so far. You've set a strong scene, given us our characters and put... view book

Hello! My comments are reactions as I read: First sentence is a good hook - makes me want to keep reading. Interesting character names: Felix and Zinnia Not sure effigy is the right word choice… the entire sentence feels awkward to me. Fantastic characterizations of Zinnia as we see ... view book

Hello! Comments are as I read: Chapter 1 leaves me with just one question: Why did Vindex decide this? Onto Chapter 2, as one was so short… Your dialogue is excellent and the writing itself is tight and polished. Admittedly, I'm very picky about historical fiction and I probably wouldn'... view book

Hello! Comments are as I read: Good opening: Like any good story, there is a battle of wills. Interesting that cannibals eat bones. I'm curious about "pointed finger" - between that and the eyes, I wonder how human he really is. Is his finger literally pointed or is this just a very pr... view book