This comedy thriller stars Humphrey Jameson, in his heroic attempt to become a famous private investigator.
Our hero attends a writer's club meeting, intent on becoming a famous author. Unexpected conflict convinces him that writing is far too dangerous an occupation. In an effort to resolve the conflicts, he decides to become a private investigator.
On his path to fame and fortune, he encounters a terrorist who has a grudge against French roast coffee, a beautiful woman who claims that international thieves are attempting to steal her lingerie, A CIA agent who is intent on capturing the coffee terrorist, and a female FBI agent who is hot on the trail of the band of international lingerie thieves.
Humphrey is hired to protect the beautiful woman's lingerie; will he ever be paid? Meanwhile, the coffee terrorist is hiring boys to deliver carefully wrapped boxes of dog poop in retaliation to anyone who drinks French roast coffee, but be careful if you pick up one of those boxes and it's ticking!
In the meantime, a neighborhood kid loses his pet duck, and... Oh, the KGB comes calling.
Watch your step, it's one dang thing after another!