Thx for the look at Magic Gadgets, as I have now renamed it. I looked at your book and was frankly a little disappointed, given your background. The writing gets thick fast, I would not call this children's lit. But it is a beautiful story, haunting, in fact. The simplified vocabulary hurts the sto... view book

I must have read 15,000 words before i set it aside. This is the most hilarious shit, you can't make this stuff up. well I could, but who would want to. You're a pathetic fucking bitch, and you should definitely keep writing. view book

Nice, you really worked the Burgess angle hard, maybe not trusting in your own voice. Very solid though, you write well. The problem with adopting someone else's style intentionally, is that you can't keep it going. by the later chaps you're only making token 'flavor text' homage to your intentiona... view book

Yeah, 'She's eighteen, dammit!" you're the best I've seen here, (two weeks, most spent writing, I admit) and from a grammatical perspective, at least, the best edited as well. I'm going to boot you to my increasingly selective bookshelf. That said, all of my previous comments are true. Slice it i... view book

I haven't even looked at it, but at 144,000 you better slice it in half. Personally, I noticed that only one in twenty here will read past the first chapter anyway. I mean, slice it down the middle write a two chapter bang up of the subplots and sell it as a series. that said I will now actually re... view book