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BarryParham

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first registered 13.09.09

last online 282 days ago

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about me

Barry Parham relentlessly documents the humorous facets and foibles of our shared human condition, and has been sharing his irreverent observations for some time, through humor columns, essays and short stories.

Parham's first book, the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," has received numerous awards. “Why I Hate Straws” is an eclectic compilation of observations about life on Planet Earth. His “what’s wrong with this picture?” commentaries run the gamut of topics from family, to politics, to dating (or not dating) and even ferrets. From the frustrations of trying to save the planet, one light bulb at a time, to analyzing the inane concepts that define daily television advertising, these brisk, bite-sized stories will strike a chord with anyone who grew up
in (or in spite of) American culture. Includes the award-winning stories "Going Green, Seeing Red" and “Driving
Miss Conception.”

In October 2010, Barry published "Sorry, We Can't Use Funny," another award-winning collection of general-topic satire and humor, and the more targeted "Blush: Politics and other unnatural acts."

Parham is an honors graduate of the University of Georgia, a music fanatic and a self-described eco-narcissist.

favourite books

The Lord of the Rings
Stranger in a Strange Land
A Tramp Abroad

my websites

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1439254575     http://www.pmwebs.com

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

Self-publish with CreateSpace

my books

Third Zoo from the Sun

Barry Parham

Humor, History & Satire. Pirates, Ghosts & TV. Dating & other bad decisions. America. Ferrets.

And they said it couldn't be done.


Humor columnist Barry Parham is back with his fourth hilarious collection!

Includes the award-winning stories "Comfortably Dumb," "Saint Funnel Cake" and "Snowblind!"

Third Zoo from the Sun: Excerpts

on selling books...
George W. Bush's new book, "I Didn't Drive the Economy Into A Ditch, But If I Had, Here's How I Would Have Done It," has just screamed up the best-seller list, leaping past Sarah Palin's new book, "How To Field-Dress A Liberal." In an obvious snub, Oprah announced plans to interview Joe Biden about his new book, "Tourette's Is A Great Big *** Deal."

on ghosts...
Bessie, I discovered, is the ghost that haunts a famous old Southern home in a famous old Southern historic district. According to the tales, Bessie was one of those free spirits that used to be tolerantly referred to as a "handful" and are now judicially referred to as a "Paris Hilton."

on airport security...
HomeSec Secretary Janet Napolitano came under fire for the agency's new and extremely unpopular "layered security" measures at the nation's airports (measures which include the controversial full-body pat-downs) after a review of the new security procedures uncovered this directive:
"Afterwards, you should offer the passenger a cigarette."

 

Why I Hate Straws

Barry Parham

Barry Parham unleashes this set of satire, humor, and indignations. His perorations poke at family, dating, politics, culture, good and bad decisions, and ferrets.


“Why I Hate Straws,” the latest release from humorist Barry Parham, is an eclectic compilation of observations about life on Planet Earth. (available at amazon.com)

Excerpts from Why I Hate Straws:

"I finally decided to try one of the new, non-threatening light bulbs – you know, one of those curly things that looks like soft-serve ice cream, costs more than a tanning bed, and is guaranteed to save me up to 12 cents between now and the formation of any new continents."

"You may be thinking, though probably not, 'how does a mere mortal build a web site?' Well, it's really quite simple. I type normal human words, wrap them in weird code words, and suddenly you're able to download air-brushed pictures of moody Nordic women."

"Health insurance can't possibly kill you, because you never actually get any health insurance. What you get is a health insurance policy, written by some deranged lunatic, sitting in a dark bar booth at 2am, with a legal thesaurus and a "How To Cheat At Scrabble" paperback, near the tailing end of a probably toxic and definitely criminal bout of participation in Intravenous Tequila Injection Nite."

 

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latest

ndaye wrote 228 days ago

(rafica_4ndaye@yahoo.com) My name is rafica i saw your profile toda....

RossClark1981 wrote 276 days ago

Hi Barry, With less than ten days to go in this month's ED race, I....

The Retopian wrote 280 days ago

Are you looking for next novel to emerge into ranks of the Editor's D....

Eponymous Rox wrote 296 days ago

Hullo there, Barry. I'm still a reader on this site scouting for new ....

Dwayne Kavanagh wrote 310 days ago

Hi Barry, Help ‘A Killer’s Kind’ get back on the desk.... In Grant....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 444 days ago

This is hilarious stuff. What a great voice! And Chapter 33's Christmas Eve church fantasy - that alone warrants the price of admission. Well done, sir! view book

I wrote 607 days ago

Very emotional glimpses. I'm impressed. view book

I wrote 740 days ago

Wow, what a tale. I absolutely inhaled the first three chapters, stopped to scribble this, and now heading back in (down?). Fantastic! view book

I wrote 740 days ago

Beautiful language! "...stars thistled the black," "waves....glugged and shingled." And wonderful pacing, from the first sentence on. Looking forward to reading further in. Well done! view book

I wrote 744 days ago

This is a FANTASTIC story! "Everybody knows the rules: Stay inside the Wall." Backed with pleasure. view book

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